The Pendergast Novels (Vincent D'Agosta x Aloysius Pendergast)
Fandom: The Pendergast Novels by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Pairing: Vincent D'Agosta x Aloysius Pendergast
Theme Set: Gamma
Rating: PG-13
Lessons in Breathing
By Kay
#01 - Ring
The ring had belonged to Pendergast’s mother, and though the fire has cracked the sapphire and blackened it beyond recognition, sometimes he takes it out at night and thinks about the bayou.
#02 - Hero
“You should not make it a habit of coming to my rescue, Lieutenant,” Pendergast murmurs, but there’s something soft about his eyes when he says it, despite the warning tone, that makes D’Agosta privately disagree.
#03 - Memory
Pendergast does not have many good memories from his childhood, but he’s starting to realize, warily, that he’s building quite a collection in the presence of Constance and one Lieutenant D’Agosta.
#04 - Box
“What the hell do you keep in all those boxes, anyway?” demands D‘Agosta, eyeing the ornate container Pendergast puts away with a chuckle.
#05 - Run
“That sounds fine,” Pendergast says coolly, slipping his arm out from D’Agosta’s hold and stepping back firmly-however courageous he is during a dangerous case, D’Agosta thinks in sudden irritation, Pendergast is damn good at running away.
#06 - Hurricane
The rainfall continues until late evening, during which D’Agosta appears on the mansion doorstep sopping wet and shoes squelching-Pendergast comes into the hall and, unusually startled, says, “Vincent, what on earth…?”
#07 - Wings
“When he got close to the sun, his wings melted completely and he fell back to earth,” Pendergast sighs, and in his pale eyes, D’Agosta can see a flicker of orange reflected from the fireplace.
#08 - Cold
Pendergast touches his arm very lightly, as if afraid of breaking something, and D’Agosta notes with some degree of surprise that Pendergast’s fingers are ice-cold.
#09 - Red
The blood is stark against the pallor of Pendergast’s unconscious face; it almost seems like paint or make-up, D’Agosta thinks grimly, ripping a piece of his sleeve off to mop up the worst of the leak and glad that the agent isn’t awake to flinch away.
#10 - Drink
It’s unusual-impossible, D’Agosta would normally say-for Pendergast to overindulge in anything, but there’s a flush to his face and a tentative sway to his walk, and when he slumps against D’Agosta’s shoulder, his breath is warm when he mumbles, “Forgive me… my dear Vincent.”
#11 - Midnight
D’Agosta has to half-carry him up the stairs, ignoring Proctor’s pinched face, and it’s near midnight before he manages to get Pendergast under the sheets of his own bed-eyes lidded, Pendergast watches him intently until he leaves.
#12 - Temptation
He’s almost glad it’s raining, D’Agosta thinks darkly-he raises his head to the sky and tries to cool down, cursing his idiocy, still thinking about heat against his side and bony shoulders and a honey-thick voice sighing his name.
#13 - View
“There’s a magnificent view,” Pendergast announces, offering D’Agosta a rare smile, “so I thought you may wish to join us, Lieutenant.”
#14 - Music
Vincent knows next to nothing about music-about as much as he knows about wine, actually-but from the way Pendergast’s eyes flutter shut and his mouth parts every so slightly, this must be one hell of a composition.
#15 - Silk
Every so often, D’Agosta buys a nice silk tie to commemorate a promotion or the agreeability of life in general, and the fact that Pendergast’s eyes flicker to them in approval whenever he wears them has nothing to do with it.
#16 - Cover
Pendergast is the first to admit that one of his bad habits (very hard to break) is an inability to trust more than a few people with his life-fortunately, D’Agosta rises to the challenge and then some.
#17 - Promise
Pendergast returns with Constance battered and exhausted, the both of them clinging to their last reserves of strength, and it’s no wonder the agent slumps unconscious on the sofa as soon as Constance is settled-it’s this moment, quietly slipping off Pendergast’s shoes, that D’Agosta makes a promise he isn’t even aware of.
#18 - Dream
Pendergast does not often remember his nightmares-but once, he dreams of sleeping idly in the sweltering heat of the bayou by the riverbank, and when he turns, D’Agosta is there crumbling into pieces, half a smile dissolving into white ash.
#19 - Candle
The candle flickers across Pendergast’s face, catching the pallor and stretching shadows across the blue of his eyes, and D’Agosta thinks it’s true-you can’t look into the flame directly.
#20 - Talent
D’Agosta grumbles that there’s nothing Pendergast isn’t talented at, and with a thoughtful pause the agent responds, “Actually, I never could grasp fishing.”
#21 - Silence
Hayward doesn’t last long-he should have known, really, a woman like that and a guy like him-and he’s grateful that Pendergast understands immediately, the two of them sitting in the library for hours in silence, one mourning and the other refilling his drinks whenever pity empties them.
#22 - Journey
On the plane ride to Italy, Pendergast dozes lightly or discusses the newest developments in pharmaceuticals with the gentleman sitting in front of them-D’Agosta spends most of it nauseously chewing on crackers and ignoring Pendergast’s sympathetic glances.
#23 - Fire
Anyone who doesn’t know Pendergast would identify him with ice, for coldness or strength, but D’Agosta has seen the look in the agent’s eyes just before an interesting case and it’s anything but impassionate.
#24 - Strength
One day, the boys of the bayou go too far and they hold Pendergast’s white head under the dirty water for so long that he nearly blacks out-it’s that night, with the sound of his fingernails frantically scratching at the riverbed stones, that Pendergast goes to the old man to learn how to defend himself.
#25 - Mask
D’Agosta sometimes wonders what’s a lie and what’s real when Pendergast smiles, but every time it feels like he’s peeled away another layer, there’s just another fortress underneath.
#26 - Ice
Pendergast has never been fond of the cold, but he is irritated with himself when his body seems to automatically gravitate towards things to lend him warmth, like fireplaces, heaters, hot tea, Constance’s violin playing, and D’Agosta’s hearty laughter.
#27 - Fall
Autumn arrives in a flurry of yellow leaves and the bleak approach of winter-D’Agosta takes to wearing a heavy maroon scarf that Pendergast impatiently bade him wear after the first two colds.
#28 - Forgotten
Now that Pendergast has remembered, he takes care never to forget what he’s done; if he does not wake from terrors of the night with his brother’s name strangled in his throat, he feels even worse.
#29 - Dance
Pendergast teaches Constance to dance, recalling the patience of his mother in doing the same, and when D’Agosta clumsily attempts to lead her about the library to Fur Elise, he finds himself almost laughing for the first time in months.
#30 - Body
Pendergast is in as much control of his body as he can possibly be-therefore he’s alarmed when, at the simple brush of D’Agosta’s shoulder into his own, it can so quickly stir and ache.
#31 - Sacred
Pendergast holds few things as sacred, finding that which is untouchable to be the most useless of all-it’s why he finds Vincent D’Agosta, in all his unshakably ordinary and honest fault, to be so infinitely precious.
#32 - Farewells
“Until we meet again, my dear Vincent,” Pendergast says, clasping D’Agosta’s hand in his own, and it seems every time this happens the hold grows longer.
#33 - World
Having grown up in the city, D’Agosta is a pretty worldly guy; he knows it takes all kinds, he just never expected this.
#34 - Formal
“You look surprisingly sharp in that, Vincent,” Pendergast says, pleased, and D’Agosta awkwardly shifts in his tuxedo before scowling and demanding, “What the hell does that mean, huh?”
#35 - Fever
D’Agosta doesn’t remember much during his illness, but at one point he swears he recalls a cool hand resting on his forehead and a thickened drawl murmuring, “This won’t do at all, my dear Vincent.”
#36 - Laugh
It happens unexpectedly and without any real reason-Pendergast is laughing tenderly at the awful grimace on D’Agosta’s face when he looks at their dinner, and caught up in the sound, D’Agosta suddenly realizes he could spend every night like this for the rest of his life and never be unhappy.
#37 - Lies
“Nothing,” D’Agosta says, strangely, after Pendergast inquires as to what’s brought on his dumbstruck expression.
#38 - Forever
D’Agosta thinks about it for what seems like forever, then thinks about it some more, then thinks about it all over again, and finally is sick of thinking instead of doing (which he is infinitely better at, Pendergast often tells him without a trace of maliciousness).
#39 - Overwhelmed
It’s hard to do, but the best plan with Pendergast is always a sneak attack-D’Agosta succeeds in this for the first time, slipping through natural defenses to soundly kiss the agent with dry, chapped lips, a hand carefully wrapped around the back of his neck to keep Pendergast from jerking away, and white fine hairs tickling his knuckles.
#40 - Whisper
“If this is a joke,” Pendergast whispers, every bone rigid in D’Agosta’s arms, pale face as opaque and unmoving as death, “it is not very amusing.”
#41 - Wait
D’Agosta can be patient if he wants to-that’s why the six days of no communication, no answer to the door or phone, and utter, defeating silence from Pendergast may seem like a lifetime, but he makes it through them stoically as ever.
#42 - Talk
Pendergast finds himself unable to do anything for six days-he cannot sleep, refuses most food because it sits like a rock in his belly, and does not speak because he may betray himself so easily.
#43 - Search
In the end, it comes down to a challenge, as it always does in Pendergast’s mind; he sits at the bridge table, facing his own determined reflection, and for whatever reason it doesn’t even bother him terribly when he loses.
#44 - Hope
“I still don’t have an answer,” Pendergast says quietly, standing in D’Agosta’s apartment threshold with those unreadable, ever-cautious eyes, but for the first time in a week D’Agosta allows himself to hope.
#45 - Eclipse
It can’t be easy and it’s not, but feelings change with the tides and often shadows slip over the moon, if in fact it isn’t the moon that has slipped over the shadows all along.
#46 - Gravity
“Should I stay?” D’Agosta asks one night, dark eyes heavy with four Budweisers and the length of the day, and Pendergast makes a soft noise before touching his arm and falling forward as if pulled by a natural force to his side.
#47 - Highway
It feels almost too fast, too much of a stretch, but then D’Agosta pushes him against the sofa cushions that still smell like dust and age, and Pendergast thinks if they stop now, they’ll never get where they are going.
#48 - Unknown
Pendergast has had a handful, a smattering really, of lovers before-but he doesn’t know this, the coarse wire of D’Agosta’s hair, the weight bearing him to his back, the metallic tang of saliva and cheap alcohol caught in the corner of that mouth, and all of it lending to a sharp pain of want curling in his stomach.
#49 - Lock
Deep in his house of memories and thoughts, Pendergast keeps a locked room all to himself-sometimes he goes and sits in it now, admiring the splay of light through the windows, counting the secrets he’s keeping hoarded here, unspoken, until he finds a way to release them.
#50 - Breathe
D’Agosta often thinks the problem with Pendergast is that no one ever taught him how to breathe-but the more he unravels Pendergast, the more he can hear it, the proof that this man is alive.
The End
Pairing: Vincent D'Agosta x Aloysius Pendergast
Theme Set: Gamma
Rating: PG-13
Lessons in Breathing
By Kay
#01 - Ring
The ring had belonged to Pendergast’s mother, and though the fire has cracked the sapphire and blackened it beyond recognition, sometimes he takes it out at night and thinks about the bayou.
#02 - Hero
“You should not make it a habit of coming to my rescue, Lieutenant,” Pendergast murmurs, but there’s something soft about his eyes when he says it, despite the warning tone, that makes D’Agosta privately disagree.
#03 - Memory
Pendergast does not have many good memories from his childhood, but he’s starting to realize, warily, that he’s building quite a collection in the presence of Constance and one Lieutenant D’Agosta.
#04 - Box
“What the hell do you keep in all those boxes, anyway?” demands D‘Agosta, eyeing the ornate container Pendergast puts away with a chuckle.
#05 - Run
“That sounds fine,” Pendergast says coolly, slipping his arm out from D’Agosta’s hold and stepping back firmly-however courageous he is during a dangerous case, D’Agosta thinks in sudden irritation, Pendergast is damn good at running away.
#06 - Hurricane
The rainfall continues until late evening, during which D’Agosta appears on the mansion doorstep sopping wet and shoes squelching-Pendergast comes into the hall and, unusually startled, says, “Vincent, what on earth…?”
#07 - Wings
“When he got close to the sun, his wings melted completely and he fell back to earth,” Pendergast sighs, and in his pale eyes, D’Agosta can see a flicker of orange reflected from the fireplace.
#08 - Cold
Pendergast touches his arm very lightly, as if afraid of breaking something, and D’Agosta notes with some degree of surprise that Pendergast’s fingers are ice-cold.
#09 - Red
The blood is stark against the pallor of Pendergast’s unconscious face; it almost seems like paint or make-up, D’Agosta thinks grimly, ripping a piece of his sleeve off to mop up the worst of the leak and glad that the agent isn’t awake to flinch away.
#10 - Drink
It’s unusual-impossible, D’Agosta would normally say-for Pendergast to overindulge in anything, but there’s a flush to his face and a tentative sway to his walk, and when he slumps against D’Agosta’s shoulder, his breath is warm when he mumbles, “Forgive me… my dear Vincent.”
#11 - Midnight
D’Agosta has to half-carry him up the stairs, ignoring Proctor’s pinched face, and it’s near midnight before he manages to get Pendergast under the sheets of his own bed-eyes lidded, Pendergast watches him intently until he leaves.
#12 - Temptation
He’s almost glad it’s raining, D’Agosta thinks darkly-he raises his head to the sky and tries to cool down, cursing his idiocy, still thinking about heat against his side and bony shoulders and a honey-thick voice sighing his name.
#13 - View
“There’s a magnificent view,” Pendergast announces, offering D’Agosta a rare smile, “so I thought you may wish to join us, Lieutenant.”
#14 - Music
Vincent knows next to nothing about music-about as much as he knows about wine, actually-but from the way Pendergast’s eyes flutter shut and his mouth parts every so slightly, this must be one hell of a composition.
#15 - Silk
Every so often, D’Agosta buys a nice silk tie to commemorate a promotion or the agreeability of life in general, and the fact that Pendergast’s eyes flicker to them in approval whenever he wears them has nothing to do with it.
#16 - Cover
Pendergast is the first to admit that one of his bad habits (very hard to break) is an inability to trust more than a few people with his life-fortunately, D’Agosta rises to the challenge and then some.
#17 - Promise
Pendergast returns with Constance battered and exhausted, the both of them clinging to their last reserves of strength, and it’s no wonder the agent slumps unconscious on the sofa as soon as Constance is settled-it’s this moment, quietly slipping off Pendergast’s shoes, that D’Agosta makes a promise he isn’t even aware of.
#18 - Dream
Pendergast does not often remember his nightmares-but once, he dreams of sleeping idly in the sweltering heat of the bayou by the riverbank, and when he turns, D’Agosta is there crumbling into pieces, half a smile dissolving into white ash.
#19 - Candle
The candle flickers across Pendergast’s face, catching the pallor and stretching shadows across the blue of his eyes, and D’Agosta thinks it’s true-you can’t look into the flame directly.
#20 - Talent
D’Agosta grumbles that there’s nothing Pendergast isn’t talented at, and with a thoughtful pause the agent responds, “Actually, I never could grasp fishing.”
#21 - Silence
Hayward doesn’t last long-he should have known, really, a woman like that and a guy like him-and he’s grateful that Pendergast understands immediately, the two of them sitting in the library for hours in silence, one mourning and the other refilling his drinks whenever pity empties them.
#22 - Journey
On the plane ride to Italy, Pendergast dozes lightly or discusses the newest developments in pharmaceuticals with the gentleman sitting in front of them-D’Agosta spends most of it nauseously chewing on crackers and ignoring Pendergast’s sympathetic glances.
#23 - Fire
Anyone who doesn’t know Pendergast would identify him with ice, for coldness or strength, but D’Agosta has seen the look in the agent’s eyes just before an interesting case and it’s anything but impassionate.
#24 - Strength
One day, the boys of the bayou go too far and they hold Pendergast’s white head under the dirty water for so long that he nearly blacks out-it’s that night, with the sound of his fingernails frantically scratching at the riverbed stones, that Pendergast goes to the old man to learn how to defend himself.
#25 - Mask
D’Agosta sometimes wonders what’s a lie and what’s real when Pendergast smiles, but every time it feels like he’s peeled away another layer, there’s just another fortress underneath.
#26 - Ice
Pendergast has never been fond of the cold, but he is irritated with himself when his body seems to automatically gravitate towards things to lend him warmth, like fireplaces, heaters, hot tea, Constance’s violin playing, and D’Agosta’s hearty laughter.
#27 - Fall
Autumn arrives in a flurry of yellow leaves and the bleak approach of winter-D’Agosta takes to wearing a heavy maroon scarf that Pendergast impatiently bade him wear after the first two colds.
#28 - Forgotten
Now that Pendergast has remembered, he takes care never to forget what he’s done; if he does not wake from terrors of the night with his brother’s name strangled in his throat, he feels even worse.
#29 - Dance
Pendergast teaches Constance to dance, recalling the patience of his mother in doing the same, and when D’Agosta clumsily attempts to lead her about the library to Fur Elise, he finds himself almost laughing for the first time in months.
#30 - Body
Pendergast is in as much control of his body as he can possibly be-therefore he’s alarmed when, at the simple brush of D’Agosta’s shoulder into his own, it can so quickly stir and ache.
#31 - Sacred
Pendergast holds few things as sacred, finding that which is untouchable to be the most useless of all-it’s why he finds Vincent D’Agosta, in all his unshakably ordinary and honest fault, to be so infinitely precious.
#32 - Farewells
“Until we meet again, my dear Vincent,” Pendergast says, clasping D’Agosta’s hand in his own, and it seems every time this happens the hold grows longer.
#33 - World
Having grown up in the city, D’Agosta is a pretty worldly guy; he knows it takes all kinds, he just never expected this.
#34 - Formal
“You look surprisingly sharp in that, Vincent,” Pendergast says, pleased, and D’Agosta awkwardly shifts in his tuxedo before scowling and demanding, “What the hell does that mean, huh?”
#35 - Fever
D’Agosta doesn’t remember much during his illness, but at one point he swears he recalls a cool hand resting on his forehead and a thickened drawl murmuring, “This won’t do at all, my dear Vincent.”
#36 - Laugh
It happens unexpectedly and without any real reason-Pendergast is laughing tenderly at the awful grimace on D’Agosta’s face when he looks at their dinner, and caught up in the sound, D’Agosta suddenly realizes he could spend every night like this for the rest of his life and never be unhappy.
#37 - Lies
“Nothing,” D’Agosta says, strangely, after Pendergast inquires as to what’s brought on his dumbstruck expression.
#38 - Forever
D’Agosta thinks about it for what seems like forever, then thinks about it some more, then thinks about it all over again, and finally is sick of thinking instead of doing (which he is infinitely better at, Pendergast often tells him without a trace of maliciousness).
#39 - Overwhelmed
It’s hard to do, but the best plan with Pendergast is always a sneak attack-D’Agosta succeeds in this for the first time, slipping through natural defenses to soundly kiss the agent with dry, chapped lips, a hand carefully wrapped around the back of his neck to keep Pendergast from jerking away, and white fine hairs tickling his knuckles.
#40 - Whisper
“If this is a joke,” Pendergast whispers, every bone rigid in D’Agosta’s arms, pale face as opaque and unmoving as death, “it is not very amusing.”
#41 - Wait
D’Agosta can be patient if he wants to-that’s why the six days of no communication, no answer to the door or phone, and utter, defeating silence from Pendergast may seem like a lifetime, but he makes it through them stoically as ever.
#42 - Talk
Pendergast finds himself unable to do anything for six days-he cannot sleep, refuses most food because it sits like a rock in his belly, and does not speak because he may betray himself so easily.
#43 - Search
In the end, it comes down to a challenge, as it always does in Pendergast’s mind; he sits at the bridge table, facing his own determined reflection, and for whatever reason it doesn’t even bother him terribly when he loses.
#44 - Hope
“I still don’t have an answer,” Pendergast says quietly, standing in D’Agosta’s apartment threshold with those unreadable, ever-cautious eyes, but for the first time in a week D’Agosta allows himself to hope.
#45 - Eclipse
It can’t be easy and it’s not, but feelings change with the tides and often shadows slip over the moon, if in fact it isn’t the moon that has slipped over the shadows all along.
#46 - Gravity
“Should I stay?” D’Agosta asks one night, dark eyes heavy with four Budweisers and the length of the day, and Pendergast makes a soft noise before touching his arm and falling forward as if pulled by a natural force to his side.
#47 - Highway
It feels almost too fast, too much of a stretch, but then D’Agosta pushes him against the sofa cushions that still smell like dust and age, and Pendergast thinks if they stop now, they’ll never get where they are going.
#48 - Unknown
Pendergast has had a handful, a smattering really, of lovers before-but he doesn’t know this, the coarse wire of D’Agosta’s hair, the weight bearing him to his back, the metallic tang of saliva and cheap alcohol caught in the corner of that mouth, and all of it lending to a sharp pain of want curling in his stomach.
#49 - Lock
Deep in his house of memories and thoughts, Pendergast keeps a locked room all to himself-sometimes he goes and sits in it now, admiring the splay of light through the windows, counting the secrets he’s keeping hoarded here, unspoken, until he finds a way to release them.
#50 - Breathe
D’Agosta often thinks the problem with Pendergast is that no one ever taught him how to breathe-but the more he unravels Pendergast, the more he can hear it, the proof that this man is alive.
The End