Seymour/Audrey
Title: Skid Row Romance
Fandom: Little Shop of Horrors
Pairing: Seymour Krelborn/Audrey
Theme: Set Beta
Rating: PG-13
Okay, so originally I was going to do a Seymour/Audrey 2 piece, but my friends gave me the weirdest looks and answers when I suggested it, so I’m doing this piece. But if ANYONE thinks that the plant and the botanist would make a cute couple (just mentally, though, I mean, EW… you know what I mean) and since Twoey is a hermaphrodite it’d make an interesting couple to write, ya know? If you’ve got any ideas for some of the sentences I’ll try and incorporate it.
A/N I’m skipping around on the plotline, so Audrey 2 may not be along yet, or may be there, or may have already destroyed the world. Who knows?
Disclaimer: If I owned Little Shop of Horrors, trust me, things would've been a LOT different- namely, Seymour and Audrey would've gotten together, Orin would've gotten stabbed in the head with a dentist drill covered in bubblegum fluoride (how I loathe that flavor) and Audrey Two would've taken over the world shortly after Audrey and Seymour died (so they would'n't have to suffer.)
#01 - Walking
Audrey hated walking down Skid Row, with the leers and the catcalls, but when she entered the flower shop and Seymour smiled at her and said, “Hello Audrey!” it was as if all the bad memories went back into the street.
#02 - Waltz
Waltzes were reserved for the rich, elegant, and haughty, and both Seymour and Audrey knew that it was foolish for them to try, but it was so fun to just twirl around in the back, tripping over overturned pots and spilling bags of fertilizer, cracking up the whole time.
#03 - Wishes
One night, after closing up, Seymour and Audrey stayed up late, potting plants and talking about things they wanted to do- leave Skid Row, find love, raise some kids- but neither mentioned that the words together seemed to fit in right after each sentence.
#04 - Wonder
Mushnik couldn’t care less about the beauty of a flowering sprout, but during breaks, sometimes Audrey and Seymour just watched it bloom slowly and smile at each other.
#05 - Worry
Watching Seymour fuss over his new plant, coaxing it with every kind of tonic and plant medicine they had, Audrey bit her lip and tried not to be jealous of the plant (what a weird thing to be jealous of…)
#06 - Whimsy
Buying that plain, white hat, devoid of anything worth looking at, to any other person may have seemed odd, but to Seymour and Audrey, by tying on various blooms and vines, made it the prettiest thing on Skid Row.
#07 - Waste/Wasteland
The dried and cracked dirt that supported the struggling grass out on the sidewalks of Skid Row made Seymour turn away, wishing he could water it and shelter it and make it feel loved, and when Audrey came to the shop late at night with bruises on her cheeks and arms, he felt the exact same way.
#08 - Whiskey and rum
“I couldn’t find any tonic, and this looked like it-” stammered Audrey, shoving the bottle of rum into Seymour outstretched palm and looked hopefully at the botanist, who didn’t have the heart to tell her that it’d probably kill the flower.
#09 - War
The war against aphids was slowly being won, with the combined efforts of Seymour’s plant experience and Audrey’s hairspray, and all Mushnik could do was look at them running crazily around the shop and sigh.
#10 - Weddings
As Audrey gussied up to be a bridesmaid at her friend’s wedding, Seymour watched her spin in the mirror, blonde hair flashing with her brilliant smile and wide blue eyes, and wished he could be her wedding date- or just date would be fine.
#11 - Birthday
When Seymour admitted that he’d never had a birthday, and that he actually just added another year to his list on Earth Day, Audrey pouted and threw him a miniature party the next day, to make up for all those missed anniversaries of that special day.
#12 - Blessing
When the water was shut off and there was no sustenance for the plants, Seymour took each plant up to the roof and prayed for rain, and when it came, he and Audrey danced around in the crashing downpour and laughed their heads off.
#13 - Bias
With the all supermodels tacked on billboards and posters all over the city, Seymour could only seem to admire the blonde ones with short hair- and even then, nothing could really measure up to the real beauty he knew back in Skid Row.
#14 - Burning
When Seymour cut his finger to donate to the cause of his new plant, it was like a flash of lightning centered on his hand and struck, but what hurt him more was the expression of worry and pain on his co-worker’s face when she saw him bandaging the wound.
#15 - Breathing
When Audrey stepped out into Skid Row and inhaled, it was the scent of cars, dirty people, oil, and tar, but when she drifted back into the flower shop and saw Seymour smelling the plants and smiling, she knew that he had the right idea.
#16 - Breaking
When Mushnik staggered into the shop late at night and dropped his whiskey bottle on the floor, causing it to shatter, it was up to Seymour to clean up the pieces and Audrey to clean up the man, and both simultaneously wondered if you could ever glue these things back together again.
#17 - Belief
It was Mushnik’s firm belief that with the more money you make, the happier you are, but then Audrey started to wonder- if that’s true, then why do people throw everything away for love?
#18 - Balloon
In a desperate attempt to fix the leaky faucet, Seymour stretched and taped a balloon over the offending appliance and hoped it would work, but after ten seconds it shot off and hit Audrey in the nose- so when Mushnik grumpily demands to know why they are cracking up when he enters and finds them doubled over wheezing, holding a red balloon, they just helplessly laugh.
#19 - Balcony
These were her favorite times- sitting on the roof with Seymour, talking about nothing and everything, sometimes talking about them but then stopping because both are afraid to say what they feel.
#20 - Bane
The bane of Audrey’s life was her looks, and the unwanted attention she got for them, so when Seymour offered to walk her home and his jacket with a hood so she could go without the catcalls and hooting, she wished that all men could have the courtesy of her friend.
#21 - Quiet
The worst moments of Seymour’s current life were the ones when Mushnik was half-drunk in his office raving about something, and him and Audrey could do nothing but ride it out and wait for the storm to pass, sharing sad glances and exhausted sighs.
#22 - Quirks
Audrey thought it was adorable how Seymour paid attention to every customer with a smile and a ‘Good-bye!’ when they left, and that when shop closed up he immediately started to fiddle with his stubborn new plant, trying to wheedle it into growing.
#23 - Question
“Hey Audrey?” muttered Seymour, half-hoping she wouldn’t hear him- but he had to know- “You and Orin just kiss, right?”
#24 - Quarrel
There was nothing like listening to the bread-seller and the tailor argue over who was more important in the morning (“How do y‘think society would be if people just ran around naked all day, eh?”), and during their breaks, Seymour and Audrey just hung out the window and listened for a bit.
#25 - Quitting
Sometimes Seymour just wanted to walk away from Mushnik and the flower shop and Skid Row, but then Audrey would run in and chatter to him excitedly about this beautiful day and how it’s all so wonderful out and does he want to walk with her on his break and he decides it’s not so bad after all.
#26 - Jump
“It’s so high!” wailed Audrey from the top of the cabinet where she had climbed in a frenzy to escape the rat that had scurried into the shop, and when she lost her grip and dropped, Seymour rushed and caught her, then collapsed because he had the muscles of a Q-tip.
#27 - Jester
Back at the orphanage, Seymour knew another boy who could make anybody, even the cantankerous old lady who owned the building, laugh so hard that they cried, but when Audrey came to work in the morning covered in bruises and wearing sunglasses, he felt that he’d never be able to laugh again.
#28 - Jousting
Sometimes they just went a little crazy and started fencing with the tomato stakes until Mushnik came into the storage room and chucked clay pot pieces at them until they stopped- but started again when he left.
#29 - Jewel
If Audrey was a necklace, pondered Seymour, I think she’d be that one in the back of the display case, but the prettiest one there, all glittery and sparkly when the light hits it just right.
#30 - Just
Sometimes Audrey just wanted to sink her head into her arms and sob, but when she was gently shaken awake by Seymour and given a cup of coffee and a meek smile, she couldn’t help but rise and smile back.
#31 - Smirk
Sometimes when Audrey stumbled into the shop, hiding bruises, and Orin in behind her, Seymour just wanted to take his spade and smack that grin off the dentist’s face.
#32 - Sorrow
Ever since Seymour had introduced the Audrey 2 to the world, Audrey noticed that his face was creased in worry lines and a certain sadness in his beautiful, tragic eyes.
#33 - Stupidity
It took the combined work of ten tequilas, a long day at the shop, an empty storage room and a broken light bulb to break down Audrey and Seymour past the brink of sanity.
#34 - Serenade
He does have the most lovely voice
, mused Audrey as Seymour crooned softly to his plants, each one getting a different song, and I wonder what it would be like if he sang for me…
#35 - Sarcasm
“That’s right, Orin, I’m in love with Seymour,” snapped Audrey to her boyfriend, trying to mask the truth with a harsh tone, but when his eyes widened and fist tightened, she finally understood what people meant when they told her she was awful at sarcasm.
#36 - Sordid
Of the seven deadly sins, Seymour believed he suffered from envy- he was envious of the rich, envious of those with lovers, envious of the suburbia he wanted to live in, envious of the man who wielded drills and fluoride and the woman he had fallen for.
#37 - Soliloquy
“I want to tell Seymour so bad- tell him that when I’m with Orin I’d rather be with him, I’d rather be at work than at home, because he’s there, if he quit work I’d quit work- but how do I tell him?”
#38 - Sojourn
When Audrey was off with Orin and Mushnik was drinking again in his office, Seymour was off with his raving plant, all alone, wondering if he’s away from his sun so long he’ll just turn brown and wither to little curly pieces.
#39 - Share
Because she looked so depressed lately, Seymour subtly left some cash in her very light purse and pretended to know nothing when she asked him if he knew who the benefactor was.
#40 - Solitary
When Seymour was with Audrey 2 and feeding him, he felt so alone (even though the plant talked non-stop) and wished he could tell his co-worker what was going on, so he wouldn’t be so lonesome in this hideous secret.
#41 - Nowhere
“Boy, I can get you out of this nowhere, if you want to go to Vegas, New York, Chicago, Paris, just name it!” crowed the carnivorous plant, waving it’s barbed vines around, but Seymour knew he wanted to stay here, if only for one (blonde) reason.
#42 - Neutral
Some days, when Orin and Audrey were fighting just outside the shop and Mushnik was moaning about bills, and people were in the street hungry, Seymour felt like Switzerland- in the middle of everything, yet neutral at the same time, feeling he could do nothing about it all.
#43 - Nuance
It took a few drops of blood to get him suspicious, but it was when he found Audrey and Seymour together, that’s when everything came together- the glances between them, Seymour soothing her after a bad day, her looking at him all the time from behind the counter- it just clicked.
#44 - Near
Fame was at his fingertips, but when he looked at Audrey, he felt so alone, even though the rest of the world loved him- but did that matter when she couldn’t look him in the eye?
#45 - Natural
Before Orin died, it felt so awkward loving Seymour, but when there was no one breathing down her neck, the words, kisses, and hugs all felt so natural.
#46 - Horizon
“And if you look far enough, you can see beyond the city,” enthusiastically said Seymour, grabbing Audrey’s hands, entwining her fingers with his, moving her around on the rooftop to see what they could have… once they left Skid Row.
#47 - Valiant
He was no one’s hero, he had been taught that since he was born, but for once in his life, someone smiled when he entered the room, and he had never felt so strong before.
#48 - Virtuous
Since Audrey was somewhat like an orphan with the situation with her parents, Seymour secretly was glad that he didn’t have undergo that awkward talk about Audrey’s virtue and how he’d better be good to their little girl (although he knew that he wasn’t exactly Mr. Wrong-side-of-the-tracks and no parents would ever think that of him).
#49 - Victory
There was a burst of color, and the sunset fell beneath the skyline, and for a moment there was a silhouette of two people amidst a thousand potted plants, leaning against each other and savoring the twilight.
#50 - Defeat
A flash of a blade, an angry cry, and he leapt into the plant, leaving behind all he knew and going towards the one person he was ever certain of.