House/24 - Kyle Porter and Greg House
Fandom: House/24
Pairing: Kyle Porter and Greg House [friendship]
Theme Set: Delta
Rating: PG
Backstory summary behind the cut.
Kyle Porter (Steven Culp) and Greg House (Hugh Laurie) have an interesting, multilayered friendship. On one level, they've bonded as middle-aged men facing some of the same problems and being, well, men. On another, they're both trauma survivors who understand what it's like to deal with the aftermath. Yet there's a third part of them that's secretly and sometimes not-so-secretly at odds, when Kyle's morals clash with House's sometimes lack thereof, or when Kyle's principled eye sees how House has a habit of treating his wife -- also the woman Kyle loves -- badly, albeit unintentionally. Mostly friends, sometimes enemies, the two have formed an unlikely bond.
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#01 - Air: Coaxing concerns out of Brittany every time she came into work with a worried expression on her face was wearing on Kyle; he knew her husband needed her like he needed air to breathe, but he needed some common sense in a hurry too -- either that or a hole in the head -- and as an educator Kyle was considering giving him a crash course in manners.
#02 - Apples: Comparing Greg House to Kyle Porter was like comparing apples to oranges: Kyle was the calm, rational, well-adjusted one with strong morals and a sense of duty, while House had more flaws than Kyle cared to count and always seemed to be hung up on something Kyle could never figure out, but despite this the two men saw eye to eye on more than just their love of the same woman -- but also that they'd both gone through hell and now had to live life on the other side.
#03 - Beginning: "Greg," Kyle called after him, and standing there on the tarmac, covered in sweat and a little bit of blood spatter, shoving his gun into its holster, he extended a hand, unable to keep the slight smile off his face and the look of respect out of his eyes -- this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship if you didn't count that they'd just been through a running gun battle.
#04 - Bugs: Kyle would be lying if he said that his old friend's choice of husband didn't bug him every now and then -- though he knew Greg was a good man underneath it all, sometimes he still wondered what the hell she was doing with a snarky, bitter, drug-addicted husband who had no real concept of what marriage was and seemed to screw it up when it mattered the most.
#05 - Coffee: When Greg showed up at his apartment at ten o'clock at night with coffee in hand, Kyle knew something was wrong -- and the coffee was a bribe to help his wife's more relationship-minded friend get Greg out of the doghouse, which if you were married to Brittany House, was a cold and heartwrenching place to be.
#06 - Dark: After so long of being around Greg and his dark, cynical point of view, Kyle felt his own well-worn optimism starting to give in places, forcing himself to question if he was a former soldier who'd cheated death or just a man who was too far battle damaged and gone to do much more than sit on the sidelines and offer advice -- advice that wouldn't be that good if he'd screwed up in the end anyway, right?
#07 - Despair: They didn't speak about it, but Kyle Porter had actually found something to admire in Greg House, as questionable of a man and a husband as he was -- he was a survivor, a guy who'd taken what the world could throw at him and refused to give up, something that Kyle found harder and harder to do as the years wore on in the same way with no real outlook beyond the present moment while he dreamed of something more.
#08 - Doors: Kyle Porter had a klutzy habit of walking into many of Division's glass doors because he wasn't paying attention, and on this particular day, he did so in full view of Greg House, who had just come looking for his wife -- but mocking Kyle for walking into her office door would do until she got back.
#09 - Drink: Kyle nursed his one glass of scotch, shifting restlessly on the couch as he thought of how Brittany had confided in him that her husband was on the short track to a fast death between the Vicodin and the drinking, and before he knew it his hands were shaking, his lips drawn into a thin line and his eyes dark with sadness as he put down the glass he couldn't hold anymore.
#10 - Duty: Career law enforcement, the son of a military man, to say that Kyle Porter had a sense of duty and civil service was an understatement -- he cared deeply about those he loved and could be fiercely protective of them, revealing a snappish side he hardly ever showed -- and that was why Greg House trusted him with Brittany, because he knew that Kyle wanted the best for her and would go down fighting for her today as easily as he would have five years earlier when they first met.
#11 - Earth: Nobody would ever say that Kyle or House needed to be brought down to earth; neither man was deluding themselves about what was or wasn't in front of their faces, like knowing that they could trust each other to the end of the world, or that if something happened to one of them, that the woman they both loved would be safe with the other one, or that they were going to be a part of each other's lives and that they were both better for it.
#12 - End: "Greg, look," Kyle said to the older man, spreading his hands as he leaned in the doorway, "you never, ever play hero for a moment if it puts you out of commission for God only knows how many times people might need you in the future...but in the end, looking at everything, you did what you were brought here to do, and I don't doubt that you're going to be a damn fine CTU agent out there as long as you believe that you're going to be a good agent out there."
#13 - Fall: Kyle saw House fall, and immediately sprinted over to the older man's side, seeing him in obvious pain; in that moment, two things ran through his brain at lightspeed: flashes of the woman who would become House's wife being carted off in a wheelchair five years earlier, and the urge to grab the man who had hit House and slam him up against the nearest wall -- he decided acting on that one would be good for all of them, well, except the unlucky bastard who'd decided to hit his student and friend with the butt of an assault rifle.
#14 - Fire: There's a true fire that burns inside the both of them, the one that only comes when you've been bounced around, blown off, fucked with, kicked when you're down, and punched the bastard that kicked you square in the face when you got back up.
#15 - Flexible: House knows he can depend on Kyle, because Kyle is always around, always there, always willing to be flexible in order to help somebody out who needs it, and Greg has resolved not to be one of the people who use that good nature for their own evil purposes unless 'evil' is defined as 'something sneaky I'm in the process of doing for my wife that she doesn't yet know about,' in which case he can be very evil and Kyle is always willing to help him.
#16 - Flying: House can tell that Kyle, good-natured, mild-mannered, never at all enraged Kyle, is about ready to bust a vein and go flying over the table at his boss, and as amusing as that would be to watch he can't let him lose his job or do something stupid, so he grabs him with an arm around the former quarterback's waist and tells him that strangling the bitch would do absolutely no good because then they'd just have to hide the body.
#17 - Food: Greg had warned him that Brittany was on a baking binge, but Kyle didn't believe him until his deputy walked into his office carrying a massive tray of Christmas cookies, and as his eyes widened and his jaw gaped open, Kyle told himself to listen to House's warnings the next time that the older man told him something.
#18 - Foot: On the rare occasion that push comes to shove between the two men, Kyle Porter always feels about a foot shorter than Greg House, even though he's only four inches lesser -- it usually has to do with how the older man likes to invade his personal space and glower like his pissed-off sister telling him how he's let himself go.
#19 - Grave: House can tell the situation he's walking into is grave because Kyle meets him at the door, his eyes dark, his normal easy smile replaced by a thin line etched firmly across his face, and the body language of a very nice man who wants to assault someone with a heavy object -- this is the man he only sees when hell freezes over.
#20 - Green: "Kyle," House tells him with a smirk, letting the other man into his house, "you are like, one of only two men I know who can wear that egregiously blinding shade of lime green and not look like a walking vegetable, and yes, I know you're glaring at me right now but I'm not looking..."
#21 - Head: It's all going to Kyle Porter's head -- the huge Christmas party, the fourteen other people all milling about in his friend's living room, the amount of cider he's had, and the idea that he's actually spending Christmas with his close friend and her husband instead of being told by his sister how he's spoiled her kids too much and his life is a poor example of one for the eleventh time or so -- but he blames the headache on how much Greg enjoys tormenting him for being the quiet one in the whole affair, throwing peanut M&M's at him and telling him to liven up.
#22 - Hollow: A small part of Kyle Porter feels hollow because he hasn't yet learned to replace the love he once had for Brittany with platonic love -- and it doesn't help that her husband continually makes jokes about their sex life, causing Kyle to want to virtually beat his head into his office desk in order to stop the very wrong thoughts that inspires in his head, something he can't help because he's a man and she's a beautiful woman and he can't have her, men always having a thing for the unattainable.
#23 - Honor: There's honor among men -- even men in their forties both trying to reclaim their former glory in some respects, who reminisce about their sports heroics and then note how they can't do that again at fortysomething, who both keep trying to push forward and harder, who have totally different morals and yet a love for the same woman that puts them both close to each other and at each other's throats, if that's at all possible.
#24 - Hope: Greg was just as bullheaded and stubborn as his wife was, and Kyle watched the situation play out again as the older man insisted on finishing the obstacle course and ended up in a massive amount of pain, just like Brittany had five years earlier...making Kyle almost grateful he hadn't seen Brittany go down that day, but also realizing that between the two of them, with hearts like that, there was hope for the world yet.
#25 - Light: A federal agent and a doctor are sitting together at a downtown Starbucks, because much to House's amusement and Kyle's chagrin the veteran fed keeps out of most bars unless they're prefaced by the word 'sports' and hardly ever drinks, but they've been talking for the last twenty minutes over coffee and when House brings up his wife Kyle averts his eyes, obviously unable to keep from thinking of her in that way just a little, which only brings to light the fact that at heart these two dissonant people are both real, honest to God men.
#26 - Lost: "Let me guess," Kyle says sarcastically, thoroughly unimpressed with his friend's conduct throughout the evening and wondering how Brittany takes him anywhere, "you're one of those slightly egotistical, slightly classless supposedly alpha males who leaves the toilet seat up, never puts the cap back on the toothpaste, lets his wife do most of the housework and can't be bothered to ask for directions when you're lost, right?"
#27 - Metal: Kyle and House had an understanding that Kyle was genuinely grateful for; House understood the senseless things, like how Kyle avoided leaning against his locker for too long because the cool metal reminded him of having a gun in his hand, or how he never really spoke to any of his old ATF buddies, people he'd once been very close to like brothers; House could understand all these things because he'd been through life-altering trauma himself, and that knowledge kept Kyle from feeling like a dysfunctional alien.
#28 - New: Greg House, as much as Kyle hates to admit it, is the perfect counterpart to the new version of Brittany he hasn't quite gotten used to seeing -- a little rougher around the edges, a little darker in the corners, a lot of scars and even more issues to tackle, he's the new one she loves and wants to be with and he, with his simple ways and untouched life, is but a memory in the past; what disturbs Kyle more is he has the feeling this is the way it should be.
#29 - Old: Kyle Porter knows he's the old flame -- if he can call it that, considering the love was unrequited by virtue of being unmentioned -- in the new frame, that maybe once upon a time she might have loved him but now her heart belongs to another man, a man he doesn't think is good enough for her, but who he knows loves her and she loves him and they match together, and he knows he's only looking at the new woman through the eyes that saw and loved the old one.
#30 - Peace: Every time Kyle looked at the two of them together, which he did often, lingering in doorways or glancing through windows or walking by, he felt two things: a nagging evisceration at his heartstrings that she was in Greg's arms and not his, and an odd peace that at least she had found the man she wanted, who wanted her, and she was happy -- he understood that 'if you love someone, set them free' wasn't as much bullshit as he'd once believed, because she was happy and that happiness and her smile gave him peace.
#31 - Poison: Kyle knew he had to get certain things out of his head -- the first being that his longtime best friend was still the innocent young woman that he'd watched grow up, and that her husband was the poison corrupting her; she loved him and he loved her, he made her happy, and she was far from innocent not to mention a legal, consenting adult...but he had flashes of that feeling every time she came to him with another story about how Greg had done something callous and chipped away at her heart just a little bit more.
#32 - Pretty: "Hey, Greg, so you must've been up late last night," Kyle Porter calls as he sees the older man coming down the hall, making it a statement, and when House just arches an eyebrow and starts to ask him how he knows Kyle makes a motion toward his neck, watching Greg look down at his own and the bruise just below his Adam's apple, which makes Kyle laugh and say, "Yeah, it's pretty obvious you had to sleep in this morning."
#33 - Rain: It's raining a torrential downpour when they step out of the car in front of the football stadium, and House just stares at Kyle as he mounts the creaking aluminum stairs and seats himself on one of the benches in the stands, saying, "You come up here and give yourself hypothermia often?"
#34 - Regret: After their third beer House asks Kyle if he regrets not telling Brittany that he was in love with her, and because this is the most drunk Kyle Porter has been in his entire life, he just sighs and nods, his head bowing just a little as he mentally considers everything that could have been different all those years ago -- the awkward-but-romantic dates, the whispered words, the longing looks, the gentle kisses, the just listening to what she had to say and nurturing her dreams -- but Kyle can't put any of that into words, can't force himself to voice memories that will never be, and House just puts his hand on his shoulder as if to say that he understands what Kyle lost even though and probably because Greg has what he lost.
#35 - Roses: They're standing on the roof of Princeton-Plainsboro, and Kyle looks down off the edge at a fall that seems like forever, and he finds himself saying to House, "I've learned to lie to myself, I've learned to forget I almost died for a little while, while I stop and smell the roses -- and that's all you can do, 'cause if you live like you should've died, you're going to die and that's going to be a big waste of time and energy."
#36 - Secret: House knows Kyle's secret, the one Kyle thinks he doesn't know -- that Kyle is still in love with his wife -- but the older man lets it lie because he knows Kyle is in love with the woman he used to know five years ago...a woman that is definitely not the one House goes home to at the end of the day; the woman Kyle Porter loves ceased to exist some time ago, leaving Brittany House in her place, and Kyle hasn't gotten around to burying her yet.
#37 - Snakes: In one respect they're going after each other like snakes in the grass: whenever House screws up, or is anything less than what Kyle expects him to be, the younger man is right there to bite him and tear him into little tiny pieces with a surprising lack of apology, and House isn't one to take it but he has to admit that Kyle has a fierce kind of venom in his veins -- if only Kyle would admit that to himself.
#38 - Snow: The snow is falling steadily, and Kyle is nursing his coffee for a long minute, watching it, when House comes to stand beside him, the two men exchanging a glance because they're both thinking about how the whiteness of it is like a fresh purity and yet how it hides the scars and blemishes and sins of everything else underneath.
#39 - Solid: When House is looking for words to describe Kyle Porter, the man who has somehow become his close friend, partner in crime, and hall monitor all at once, the one that sticks in his mind is how solid Kyle is -- stable, committed, unwavering, true to his guns and his morals, sure of what he believes in and what he wants, staying calm in the face of things that would make grown men cry, always there, the pillar and the foundation...these are all things he envies the younger man.
#40 - Spring: "You know what I like about spring," Kyle says, shoving his hands in his pockets when House asks him how he's managed to not completely lose his mind over the last couple of years, "everything is in bloom again, everything starts over -- I mean, sure we remember what happened in the winter and all, but we don't think about that, we just lay that aside and we go, look at the new year, and that's really all I do, is look ahead and not behind...I force myself to look ahead because looking behind would scare the hell out of me."
#41 - Stable: "Look," House told Kyle, meeting his eyes firmly, "you have every right to hate me; I know you're more stable than I am, you're more normal--" his voice hated every syllable in that word, "--but no matter what you think of me as a man, I'm going to do my best by my wife as her husband, and don't you ever doubt that's not always the case."
#42 - Strange: "Isn't it strange," was what Melissa Davidson said to Kyle when she first saw Brittany with her significantly older husband, and Kyle had just rolled his eyes and said it wasn't that strange for his friend to be dating a guy twenty-four years older, but it was strange for his friend and her husband to be doing insane things like randomly go off to private islands and cause mayhem everywhere they went...yet strange seemed to be normal to House and Brittany, and just made Kyle shake his head and laugh to himself.
#43 - Summer: Watching House and Brittany head off after one more day of work, Kyle thinks back in his brain to the summer nights when she used to be on his arm and they drove their way through Southern and Central California, staying out all night like a pair of fun-loving teenagers -- and he realizes as fond as those memories are to him, if she's going to go out and fly, she needs a partner a little more reckless and risky, and Greg definitely fits that bill perfectly.
#44 - Taboo: There are certain things that are just off limits in the friendship that exists between Kyle and House, and at this moment, as there's some rather aggressive flirting going on between House and Brittany, Kyle's wishing that any mention of his friends' sex life was one of them, because he has no desire to think about what they're doing behind closed doors and he's not in the mood to drink to get the images to go away.
#45 - Ugly: The day after she tells Kyle that she's furious with Greg for acting like a child sometimes, Brittany walks into Division to find her boss and friend invading her husband's personal space, both of them circling each other like predators -- and she sprints the remaining distance, shoving both alpha males apart before things can get ugly.
#46 - War: "Greg, this is ridiculous!" Kyle shouted, throwing up his hands, his eyes wide in a look of incredulity at the words the other man was saying to him, "there isn't some sort of game between us, some sort of war, and your wife is not some thing one of us can win, she's not property...she's yours, but I swear on my mother's grave, God bless her, that if you ever harm her, you're not going to have a second chance to get her back because I will protect her from harm with my dying breath."
#47 - Water: Given that everyone else at the table is drinking, Kyle considers ordering himself a scotch on the rocks, but then he thinks suddenly on how Brittany tells him she always worries about Greg drinking even though he doesn't get blasted, and how she admits she started to drink and had to stop herself, and he decides it's a wise move to stick to the water.
#48 - Welcome: Though one could argue they've caused the craziest few months of a life that once was peaceful, Kyle is grateful for his friendship with Brittany and Greg House -- grateful because he knows no matter how crazy it gets, no matter what happens to him, he will always be welcome in their home, in their lives, and he won't be facing everything so alone anymore.
#49 - Winter: Kyle and Brittany are engaged in a spirited discussion of 'real' winter, as expected between a man who grew up on the East Coast and a woman raised on the West, when House walks over and interrupts, "Kyle, whatever you're going to say, you can't win, she'll protest until she dies," the words really only cover for him to stick an ice cube down his wife's shirt and listen to her squeal in abject horror.
#50 - Wood: Kyle and House exchange a look, because they know the same basic fact -- the woman they love might be happy domesticated, but when trouble breaks loose, she's like a caged animal raring to be let at the problem, addicted to the adrenaline, unwilling to not sink her claws in, and they just have to hope, knock on wood, that when she tears loose they can keep a hold on her to make sure she comes back in one piece.
Pairing: Kyle Porter and Greg House [friendship]
Theme Set: Delta
Rating: PG
Backstory summary behind the cut.
Kyle Porter (Steven Culp) and Greg House (Hugh Laurie) have an interesting, multilayered friendship. On one level, they've bonded as middle-aged men facing some of the same problems and being, well, men. On another, they're both trauma survivors who understand what it's like to deal with the aftermath. Yet there's a third part of them that's secretly and sometimes not-so-secretly at odds, when Kyle's morals clash with House's sometimes lack thereof, or when Kyle's principled eye sees how House has a habit of treating his wife -- also the woman Kyle loves -- badly, albeit unintentionally. Mostly friends, sometimes enemies, the two have formed an unlikely bond.
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#01 - Air: Coaxing concerns out of Brittany every time she came into work with a worried expression on her face was wearing on Kyle; he knew her husband needed her like he needed air to breathe, but he needed some common sense in a hurry too -- either that or a hole in the head -- and as an educator Kyle was considering giving him a crash course in manners.
#02 - Apples: Comparing Greg House to Kyle Porter was like comparing apples to oranges: Kyle was the calm, rational, well-adjusted one with strong morals and a sense of duty, while House had more flaws than Kyle cared to count and always seemed to be hung up on something Kyle could never figure out, but despite this the two men saw eye to eye on more than just their love of the same woman -- but also that they'd both gone through hell and now had to live life on the other side.
#03 - Beginning: "Greg," Kyle called after him, and standing there on the tarmac, covered in sweat and a little bit of blood spatter, shoving his gun into its holster, he extended a hand, unable to keep the slight smile off his face and the look of respect out of his eyes -- this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship if you didn't count that they'd just been through a running gun battle.
#04 - Bugs: Kyle would be lying if he said that his old friend's choice of husband didn't bug him every now and then -- though he knew Greg was a good man underneath it all, sometimes he still wondered what the hell she was doing with a snarky, bitter, drug-addicted husband who had no real concept of what marriage was and seemed to screw it up when it mattered the most.
#05 - Coffee: When Greg showed up at his apartment at ten o'clock at night with coffee in hand, Kyle knew something was wrong -- and the coffee was a bribe to help his wife's more relationship-minded friend get Greg out of the doghouse, which if you were married to Brittany House, was a cold and heartwrenching place to be.
#06 - Dark: After so long of being around Greg and his dark, cynical point of view, Kyle felt his own well-worn optimism starting to give in places, forcing himself to question if he was a former soldier who'd cheated death or just a man who was too far battle damaged and gone to do much more than sit on the sidelines and offer advice -- advice that wouldn't be that good if he'd screwed up in the end anyway, right?
#07 - Despair: They didn't speak about it, but Kyle Porter had actually found something to admire in Greg House, as questionable of a man and a husband as he was -- he was a survivor, a guy who'd taken what the world could throw at him and refused to give up, something that Kyle found harder and harder to do as the years wore on in the same way with no real outlook beyond the present moment while he dreamed of something more.
#08 - Doors: Kyle Porter had a klutzy habit of walking into many of Division's glass doors because he wasn't paying attention, and on this particular day, he did so in full view of Greg House, who had just come looking for his wife -- but mocking Kyle for walking into her office door would do until she got back.
#09 - Drink: Kyle nursed his one glass of scotch, shifting restlessly on the couch as he thought of how Brittany had confided in him that her husband was on the short track to a fast death between the Vicodin and the drinking, and before he knew it his hands were shaking, his lips drawn into a thin line and his eyes dark with sadness as he put down the glass he couldn't hold anymore.
#10 - Duty: Career law enforcement, the son of a military man, to say that Kyle Porter had a sense of duty and civil service was an understatement -- he cared deeply about those he loved and could be fiercely protective of them, revealing a snappish side he hardly ever showed -- and that was why Greg House trusted him with Brittany, because he knew that Kyle wanted the best for her and would go down fighting for her today as easily as he would have five years earlier when they first met.
#11 - Earth: Nobody would ever say that Kyle or House needed to be brought down to earth; neither man was deluding themselves about what was or wasn't in front of their faces, like knowing that they could trust each other to the end of the world, or that if something happened to one of them, that the woman they both loved would be safe with the other one, or that they were going to be a part of each other's lives and that they were both better for it.
#12 - End: "Greg, look," Kyle said to the older man, spreading his hands as he leaned in the doorway, "you never, ever play hero for a moment if it puts you out of commission for God only knows how many times people might need you in the future...but in the end, looking at everything, you did what you were brought here to do, and I don't doubt that you're going to be a damn fine CTU agent out there as long as you believe that you're going to be a good agent out there."
#13 - Fall: Kyle saw House fall, and immediately sprinted over to the older man's side, seeing him in obvious pain; in that moment, two things ran through his brain at lightspeed: flashes of the woman who would become House's wife being carted off in a wheelchair five years earlier, and the urge to grab the man who had hit House and slam him up against the nearest wall -- he decided acting on that one would be good for all of them, well, except the unlucky bastard who'd decided to hit his student and friend with the butt of an assault rifle.
#14 - Fire: There's a true fire that burns inside the both of them, the one that only comes when you've been bounced around, blown off, fucked with, kicked when you're down, and punched the bastard that kicked you square in the face when you got back up.
#15 - Flexible: House knows he can depend on Kyle, because Kyle is always around, always there, always willing to be flexible in order to help somebody out who needs it, and Greg has resolved not to be one of the people who use that good nature for their own evil purposes unless 'evil' is defined as 'something sneaky I'm in the process of doing for my wife that she doesn't yet know about,' in which case he can be very evil and Kyle is always willing to help him.
#16 - Flying: House can tell that Kyle, good-natured, mild-mannered, never at all enraged Kyle, is about ready to bust a vein and go flying over the table at his boss, and as amusing as that would be to watch he can't let him lose his job or do something stupid, so he grabs him with an arm around the former quarterback's waist and tells him that strangling the bitch would do absolutely no good because then they'd just have to hide the body.
#17 - Food: Greg had warned him that Brittany was on a baking binge, but Kyle didn't believe him until his deputy walked into his office carrying a massive tray of Christmas cookies, and as his eyes widened and his jaw gaped open, Kyle told himself to listen to House's warnings the next time that the older man told him something.
#18 - Foot: On the rare occasion that push comes to shove between the two men, Kyle Porter always feels about a foot shorter than Greg House, even though he's only four inches lesser -- it usually has to do with how the older man likes to invade his personal space and glower like his pissed-off sister telling him how he's let himself go.
#19 - Grave: House can tell the situation he's walking into is grave because Kyle meets him at the door, his eyes dark, his normal easy smile replaced by a thin line etched firmly across his face, and the body language of a very nice man who wants to assault someone with a heavy object -- this is the man he only sees when hell freezes over.
#20 - Green: "Kyle," House tells him with a smirk, letting the other man into his house, "you are like, one of only two men I know who can wear that egregiously blinding shade of lime green and not look like a walking vegetable, and yes, I know you're glaring at me right now but I'm not looking..."
#21 - Head: It's all going to Kyle Porter's head -- the huge Christmas party, the fourteen other people all milling about in his friend's living room, the amount of cider he's had, and the idea that he's actually spending Christmas with his close friend and her husband instead of being told by his sister how he's spoiled her kids too much and his life is a poor example of one for the eleventh time or so -- but he blames the headache on how much Greg enjoys tormenting him for being the quiet one in the whole affair, throwing peanut M&M's at him and telling him to liven up.
#22 - Hollow: A small part of Kyle Porter feels hollow because he hasn't yet learned to replace the love he once had for Brittany with platonic love -- and it doesn't help that her husband continually makes jokes about their sex life, causing Kyle to want to virtually beat his head into his office desk in order to stop the very wrong thoughts that inspires in his head, something he can't help because he's a man and she's a beautiful woman and he can't have her, men always having a thing for the unattainable.
#23 - Honor: There's honor among men -- even men in their forties both trying to reclaim their former glory in some respects, who reminisce about their sports heroics and then note how they can't do that again at fortysomething, who both keep trying to push forward and harder, who have totally different morals and yet a love for the same woman that puts them both close to each other and at each other's throats, if that's at all possible.
#24 - Hope: Greg was just as bullheaded and stubborn as his wife was, and Kyle watched the situation play out again as the older man insisted on finishing the obstacle course and ended up in a massive amount of pain, just like Brittany had five years earlier...making Kyle almost grateful he hadn't seen Brittany go down that day, but also realizing that between the two of them, with hearts like that, there was hope for the world yet.
#25 - Light: A federal agent and a doctor are sitting together at a downtown Starbucks, because much to House's amusement and Kyle's chagrin the veteran fed keeps out of most bars unless they're prefaced by the word 'sports' and hardly ever drinks, but they've been talking for the last twenty minutes over coffee and when House brings up his wife Kyle averts his eyes, obviously unable to keep from thinking of her in that way just a little, which only brings to light the fact that at heart these two dissonant people are both real, honest to God men.
#26 - Lost: "Let me guess," Kyle says sarcastically, thoroughly unimpressed with his friend's conduct throughout the evening and wondering how Brittany takes him anywhere, "you're one of those slightly egotistical, slightly classless supposedly alpha males who leaves the toilet seat up, never puts the cap back on the toothpaste, lets his wife do most of the housework and can't be bothered to ask for directions when you're lost, right?"
#27 - Metal: Kyle and House had an understanding that Kyle was genuinely grateful for; House understood the senseless things, like how Kyle avoided leaning against his locker for too long because the cool metal reminded him of having a gun in his hand, or how he never really spoke to any of his old ATF buddies, people he'd once been very close to like brothers; House could understand all these things because he'd been through life-altering trauma himself, and that knowledge kept Kyle from feeling like a dysfunctional alien.
#28 - New: Greg House, as much as Kyle hates to admit it, is the perfect counterpart to the new version of Brittany he hasn't quite gotten used to seeing -- a little rougher around the edges, a little darker in the corners, a lot of scars and even more issues to tackle, he's the new one she loves and wants to be with and he, with his simple ways and untouched life, is but a memory in the past; what disturbs Kyle more is he has the feeling this is the way it should be.
#29 - Old: Kyle Porter knows he's the old flame -- if he can call it that, considering the love was unrequited by virtue of being unmentioned -- in the new frame, that maybe once upon a time she might have loved him but now her heart belongs to another man, a man he doesn't think is good enough for her, but who he knows loves her and she loves him and they match together, and he knows he's only looking at the new woman through the eyes that saw and loved the old one.
#30 - Peace: Every time Kyle looked at the two of them together, which he did often, lingering in doorways or glancing through windows or walking by, he felt two things: a nagging evisceration at his heartstrings that she was in Greg's arms and not his, and an odd peace that at least she had found the man she wanted, who wanted her, and she was happy -- he understood that 'if you love someone, set them free' wasn't as much bullshit as he'd once believed, because she was happy and that happiness and her smile gave him peace.
#31 - Poison: Kyle knew he had to get certain things out of his head -- the first being that his longtime best friend was still the innocent young woman that he'd watched grow up, and that her husband was the poison corrupting her; she loved him and he loved her, he made her happy, and she was far from innocent not to mention a legal, consenting adult...but he had flashes of that feeling every time she came to him with another story about how Greg had done something callous and chipped away at her heart just a little bit more.
#32 - Pretty: "Hey, Greg, so you must've been up late last night," Kyle Porter calls as he sees the older man coming down the hall, making it a statement, and when House just arches an eyebrow and starts to ask him how he knows Kyle makes a motion toward his neck, watching Greg look down at his own and the bruise just below his Adam's apple, which makes Kyle laugh and say, "Yeah, it's pretty obvious you had to sleep in this morning."
#33 - Rain: It's raining a torrential downpour when they step out of the car in front of the football stadium, and House just stares at Kyle as he mounts the creaking aluminum stairs and seats himself on one of the benches in the stands, saying, "You come up here and give yourself hypothermia often?"
#34 - Regret: After their third beer House asks Kyle if he regrets not telling Brittany that he was in love with her, and because this is the most drunk Kyle Porter has been in his entire life, he just sighs and nods, his head bowing just a little as he mentally considers everything that could have been different all those years ago -- the awkward-but-romantic dates, the whispered words, the longing looks, the gentle kisses, the just listening to what she had to say and nurturing her dreams -- but Kyle can't put any of that into words, can't force himself to voice memories that will never be, and House just puts his hand on his shoulder as if to say that he understands what Kyle lost even though and probably because Greg has what he lost.
#35 - Roses: They're standing on the roof of Princeton-Plainsboro, and Kyle looks down off the edge at a fall that seems like forever, and he finds himself saying to House, "I've learned to lie to myself, I've learned to forget I almost died for a little while, while I stop and smell the roses -- and that's all you can do, 'cause if you live like you should've died, you're going to die and that's going to be a big waste of time and energy."
#36 - Secret: House knows Kyle's secret, the one Kyle thinks he doesn't know -- that Kyle is still in love with his wife -- but the older man lets it lie because he knows Kyle is in love with the woman he used to know five years ago...a woman that is definitely not the one House goes home to at the end of the day; the woman Kyle Porter loves ceased to exist some time ago, leaving Brittany House in her place, and Kyle hasn't gotten around to burying her yet.
#37 - Snakes: In one respect they're going after each other like snakes in the grass: whenever House screws up, or is anything less than what Kyle expects him to be, the younger man is right there to bite him and tear him into little tiny pieces with a surprising lack of apology, and House isn't one to take it but he has to admit that Kyle has a fierce kind of venom in his veins -- if only Kyle would admit that to himself.
#38 - Snow: The snow is falling steadily, and Kyle is nursing his coffee for a long minute, watching it, when House comes to stand beside him, the two men exchanging a glance because they're both thinking about how the whiteness of it is like a fresh purity and yet how it hides the scars and blemishes and sins of everything else underneath.
#39 - Solid: When House is looking for words to describe Kyle Porter, the man who has somehow become his close friend, partner in crime, and hall monitor all at once, the one that sticks in his mind is how solid Kyle is -- stable, committed, unwavering, true to his guns and his morals, sure of what he believes in and what he wants, staying calm in the face of things that would make grown men cry, always there, the pillar and the foundation...these are all things he envies the younger man.
#40 - Spring: "You know what I like about spring," Kyle says, shoving his hands in his pockets when House asks him how he's managed to not completely lose his mind over the last couple of years, "everything is in bloom again, everything starts over -- I mean, sure we remember what happened in the winter and all, but we don't think about that, we just lay that aside and we go, look at the new year, and that's really all I do, is look ahead and not behind...I force myself to look ahead because looking behind would scare the hell out of me."
#41 - Stable: "Look," House told Kyle, meeting his eyes firmly, "you have every right to hate me; I know you're more stable than I am, you're more normal--" his voice hated every syllable in that word, "--but no matter what you think of me as a man, I'm going to do my best by my wife as her husband, and don't you ever doubt that's not always the case."
#42 - Strange: "Isn't it strange," was what Melissa Davidson said to Kyle when she first saw Brittany with her significantly older husband, and Kyle had just rolled his eyes and said it wasn't that strange for his friend to be dating a guy twenty-four years older, but it was strange for his friend and her husband to be doing insane things like randomly go off to private islands and cause mayhem everywhere they went...yet strange seemed to be normal to House and Brittany, and just made Kyle shake his head and laugh to himself.
#43 - Summer: Watching House and Brittany head off after one more day of work, Kyle thinks back in his brain to the summer nights when she used to be on his arm and they drove their way through Southern and Central California, staying out all night like a pair of fun-loving teenagers -- and he realizes as fond as those memories are to him, if she's going to go out and fly, she needs a partner a little more reckless and risky, and Greg definitely fits that bill perfectly.
#44 - Taboo: There are certain things that are just off limits in the friendship that exists between Kyle and House, and at this moment, as there's some rather aggressive flirting going on between House and Brittany, Kyle's wishing that any mention of his friends' sex life was one of them, because he has no desire to think about what they're doing behind closed doors and he's not in the mood to drink to get the images to go away.
#45 - Ugly: The day after she tells Kyle that she's furious with Greg for acting like a child sometimes, Brittany walks into Division to find her boss and friend invading her husband's personal space, both of them circling each other like predators -- and she sprints the remaining distance, shoving both alpha males apart before things can get ugly.
#46 - War: "Greg, this is ridiculous!" Kyle shouted, throwing up his hands, his eyes wide in a look of incredulity at the words the other man was saying to him, "there isn't some sort of game between us, some sort of war, and your wife is not some thing one of us can win, she's not property...she's yours, but I swear on my mother's grave, God bless her, that if you ever harm her, you're not going to have a second chance to get her back because I will protect her from harm with my dying breath."
#47 - Water: Given that everyone else at the table is drinking, Kyle considers ordering himself a scotch on the rocks, but then he thinks suddenly on how Brittany tells him she always worries about Greg drinking even though he doesn't get blasted, and how she admits she started to drink and had to stop herself, and he decides it's a wise move to stick to the water.
#48 - Welcome: Though one could argue they've caused the craziest few months of a life that once was peaceful, Kyle is grateful for his friendship with Brittany and Greg House -- grateful because he knows no matter how crazy it gets, no matter what happens to him, he will always be welcome in their home, in their lives, and he won't be facing everything so alone anymore.
#49 - Winter: Kyle and Brittany are engaged in a spirited discussion of 'real' winter, as expected between a man who grew up on the East Coast and a woman raised on the West, when House walks over and interrupts, "Kyle, whatever you're going to say, you can't win, she'll protest until she dies," the words really only cover for him to stick an ice cube down his wife's shirt and listen to her squeal in abject horror.
#50 - Wood: Kyle and House exchange a look, because they know the same basic fact -- the woman they love might be happy domesticated, but when trouble breaks loose, she's like a caged animal raring to be let at the problem, addicted to the adrenaline, unwilling to not sink her claws in, and they just have to hope, knock on wood, that when she tears loose they can keep a hold on her to make sure she comes back in one piece.