(no subject)
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Irvine Kinneas x Zell Dincht
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG-13
#01 - Motion
Zell envied the cool, careful motion of the sharpshooter -- bullet in chamber, gun held steady -- and Irvine admired the quick flowing movements of a martial artist -- punch kick block duck feint -- and both admired the other's art, and watched, always watched.
#02 - Cool
Zell practised all the way to Balamb, that cool summer's evening, on their way to get drunk (but to see Zell's ma first), and Irvine walked with him, grinning at the kicks and flips, amused and smiling and finding a joy in life that he'd never known before.
#03 - Young
They actually first kissed at the Orphanage, an accidental kiss that was shrugged off and oh-so-quickly forgotten, a child's game; but the memories came back to find them and found them together, kissing and laughing and a little uncomfortable at how very young they had been.
#04 - Last
The last most people heard of Irvine Kinneas was when he walked out of their lives (forever) after an argument; however, having found someone like Zell, someone worth hanging on to, fuck his reputation, fuck everything, Irvine was going back to find the impossible idiot just as soon as he stopped wanting to shoot him.
#05 - Wrong
People were wrong about Irvine, and only Zell knew it -- they thought him a playboy with low standards, never likely to settle down; truth was, Irvine had a habit of becoming infatuated before his high standards caught up, and then they just weren't good enough so he had to move on and get infatuated all over again -- he'd been infatuated by Zell, but when high standards kicked in, Zell passed.
#06 - Gentle
Some assumed that because Irvine was the sweet talker he was the gentle one, and Zell was the insensitive one because he was a fighter with a hard head, but really, reverse that, and there you had them; Irvine was soft on the outside, but with something hard and sometimes unpleasant deeper down, and then Zell had a tough outer shell that just hid the sweet, soft stuff.
#07 - One
Zell had had one boyfriend, Irvine had dated most of the people he ever met, but one or one hundred, they were confident and they'd found the one this time.
#08 - Thousand
Irvine knew he could search the whole world, date a thousand people, and never find as good a catch as Zell -- he was hardworking (he did what he had to do), easy going (most of the time), knew how to relax (except on missions; an art that Irvine had yet to teach him), was pretty damn hot (with a really nice ass), and he loved Irvine with all his heart (almost smothering, really) -- the problem was, Irvine didn't and couldn't return that love.
#09 - King
Irvine was the reigning King of love 'em and leave 'em, and he certainly had no problem with loving Zell, he just found that he jammed up a little when it came to leaving him.
#10 - Learn
He was the hero of a war, or one of them, he was a good fighter, he was bisexual, he was attractive, but he'd never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend -- when he started to date Irvine, he suspected he'd learn a lot about all that kind of thing -- he just wasn't sure that Irvine would be as good an influence as he claimed he was.
#11 - Blur
It all became somewhat of a blur after the third bottle or so, but what Zell was sure of was that at least he must have had damn good sex the night before, after all, judging by the soreness of his ass and the cowboy hat on the floor (not to mention the reputation of his chosen drinking partner), he'd been well fucked -- the only thing he could be sure of through fuzzy sleep and the remains of alcohol was that he wished he'd been sober, so he could remember the best fuck of his life.
#12 - Wait
To date Irvine, as Zell learned and many others had before him, you needed a hard head (none harder than a martial artist's, I guess), a thick skin (because you were going to get hurt), a fetish for cowboys and more than human amounts of patience (or at least a willingness to wait around for Irvine to change); somehow, Zell managed it all.
#13 - Change
On being screamed at and kicked out of a fairly astounding number of beds, Irvine still shied away from changing, stubbornly remaining the way he was to spite them -- Zell didn't bother with screaming or kicking him out, the first time Irvine showed signs of being interested in too many other people, Zell beat change into Irvine with his fists and if Irvine smiled a little more crooked now, his smiles were just for Zell.
#14 - Command
Zell wasn't the most commanding person, really, that was for someone like Squall (smooth, cool, detached and at a distance), but there was one command that Irvine would never disobey, breathed into his ear with Zell's most mischievous grin -- "Take me home," he'd whisper, "and fuck me."
#15 - Hold
Irvine didn't need holding, Zell didn't need holding, but sometimes, sometimes when they got home from missions tired and aching in every cell that could ache, sometimes it was good to snuggle close and be held.
#16 - Need
They didn't need each other, they would both deny that as fiercely as Squall and Seifer would deny that they were friends (or god forbid, more); but they missed each other like missing organs, when they were apart.
#17 - Vision
Sometimes, when Irvine woke, there was a vision printed on the inside of his eyelids, the Sorceress standing there, his Matron and yet not; Zell wasn't good at comforting but he could cling, and squeeze, and sometimes that was exactly what Irvine needed.
#18 - Attention
Zell didn't need Irvine to pay attention to him, wasn't like all those girls who used to hang off his arm and look up at him with those simpering expressions, the ones who wanted to know where he was at all times, but somehow that made it easier to be faithful.
#19 - Soul
If Irvine had a soul, well, he was damn sure that it was tainted and tarnished and all of that and that it wouldn't be going to a better place when he died; Zell was convinced that he would (there's good in you, I know it! he'd say, teasing) and that they'd be in a better place together which is more than Irvine knew.
#20 - Picture
Irvine had just one thing from the Orphanage, and he wondered if he should ever show anyone, because it was silly and sentimental but there it was; Irvine and Zell and Selphie's drawing, the three of them, together, on a beach -- he'd kept it in the hope that like a wish made on a star, one day it would come true.
#21 - Fool
He was pretty sure that falling in love made him a fucking fool, but hey, whatever, that was okay, because he'd been a fool for worse things and Zell was quite a good reason to act (just a little) foolish.
#22 - Mad
He'd never seen Zell so angry as he was when that ex-girlfriend of his hit him, and though Zell would never hit girls he knew that he wanted to and he didn't understand but he smiled anyway because Zell was mad at a girl for him and that was an amusing (and nice) thought.
#23 - Child
Sometimes, Zell seemed hardly more than the child he'd once been and that was pretty weird for Irvine, but in some ways it was great because Zell trusted, oh he trusted so easily, and Irvine found it easier to live when his lovers (mistakenly) trusted him.
#24 - Now
There was the past that didn't matter, full of Selphie and further back, conflict and all the bad things, and then there was the future which was empty until he got there, and there was the present and that was full of Zell, just Zell.
#25 - Shadow
Irvine was laying just so, as he always lay, slumped in the grass, as serene a picture as ever, and Zell's shadow broke the scene, but that didn't spoil it, no, Irvine pulled him down and held him, just held him, tight and tender and perfect.
#26 - Goodbye
People are always saying goodbye, goodnight, farewell and I'll see you soon; Irvine worried that if he said goodbye, see you soon, to Zell, as he had to Selphie when he left the Orphanage, he might not see him soon.
#27 - Hide
Gonna hide so you can't find me, Zell would say, and Selphie would laugh and she and Irvine would find him, always find him, because he would scrunch up in fear when they shouted gonna getcha! and he'd whimper, so they'd find him, wherever he hid, and really, Irvine knew all his hiding places.
#28 - Fortune
Irvine didn't believe in any god, he believed in sheer dumb luck, even if sheer dumb luck did some fucking good things for him, like now, when Zell wanted him and he wanted Zell (dense little idiot as he was sometimes, it had got through somehow) and since they both wanted each other, they were going to try it.
#29 - Safe
It wasn't safe and maybe he was going to get hurt, but that was part of it -- just like the battles full of adrenaline and danger, their kisses were dangerous, Irvine's gunpowder flavoured tongue and Zell's sharp teeth, and fuck, it felt so good.
#30 - Ghost
Sometimes when the rush of adrenaline was gone and he was left with the thought that hey, maybe all this fighting was just pointless, he felt like a ghost, like some insubstantial thing left behind; Zell was solid and warm and grinning and not at all superstitious and you couldn't feel like you were fading with him.
#31 - Book
Should write a book about all the women I've had, Irvine said, lazy, and Zell shook his head, because he knew what Irvine knew, what all of those women had known, that they didn't matter, they had never mattered.
#32 - Eye
Zell had this habit, on a morning, of opening one eye, then the other, so when Irvine lay back, lazy, watching Zell wake up slowly, blue eyes opening first one, then another, it never failed to make Irvine smile.
#33 - Never
He'd loved and lost so many, and so many had loved and lost him, charmer, charmer with honeysweet forked tongue, but he'd found in time that there was one person that he loved, and wouldn't leave, one person who loved him and to whom the idea of parting was kind of ridiculous.
#34 - Sing
Zell could sing, perhaps surprisingly, so when Selphie had her guitar and Zell was singing at the Garden festival, Irvine's eyes were on him and, oh, he just couldn't look away.
#35 - Sudden
See, he'd never really noticed anything in Zell, but he looked up at him across the table in the cafeteria and his blue eyes were just captivating, and all of a sudden just like that, Irvine was in love.
#36 - Stop
Oh, they couldn't stop, it would hurt in the morning but the morning wasn't yet, and maybe, maybe they could salvage something good from stupid mistakes -- and Zell didn't have anyone else, and Irvine had too many other people, so maybe, maybe it would be alright.
#37 - Time
Takes time to stop hurting, doesn't it? Irvine asked, so casual, so cool and so smooth and suave, and Zell nodded, swallowed past the blockade in his throat, and just nodded, because he hadn't had enough time yet.
#38 - Wash
Grass stains and dirt stains and stains of something else better not thought about, the proof and results of their play outside, and god, it made Zell smile, but it'd all come out in the wash, fade to nothing but a handful of memories.
#39 - Torn
The cowboy hat came off worse, of course, but Zell's ma could sew and so they went there, to see if she could fix it, and Zell thought that Irvine looked really fucking perfect without that hat, as good as he looked with it.
#40 - History
History would record their births, deaths and marriages, their children, too, but not their love affairs; in years to come, Irvine and Zell's brief spark could be forgotten, but it wasn't history yet and there was time.
#41 - Power
Irvine knew there were so many kinds of power, and Cid had some kinds and Squall had quite another and then there was Rinoa and that was quite different, but he had just one power and he used it, oh, mercilessly, the power to make Zell squirm and beg and whimper.
#42 - Bother
Some mornings, Irvine just didn't feel like getting out of bed when Zell did -- whoever thought pairing a morning person with a night owl oughta be shot -- couldn't be bothered but hey, the reason for staying in bed was getting out of bed, so he might as well follow.
#43 - God
Irvine wasn't a god, no, but he had a hard job convincing Zell of that when they had sex because all Zell would (could) say, that litany, that sounded so good and came to his lips so easily -- oh god, oh Irvine, fuck, oh god...
#44 - Wall
Up against a wall, and it wasn't them, it belonged to rivals and sexual tension and all of that, so raw and so passionate and fuck, it was new and different and, Zell thought and Irvine agreed, so perfect.
#45 - Naked
When Zell found him naked in bed with Selphie, oh, apologies could never be enough and even though he loved Zell, only Zell, he just couldn't keep his hands off everyone else and maybe, maybe, maybe Irvine should stay away from Zell and just let him heal.
#46 - Drive
There was the drive to fight -- Seifer and Squall -- and the drive to annoy -- Squall and Rinoa -- and then there was the drive to just be two guys and have fun together, and that was what drove Zell and Irvine; from friends to fuck buddies to lovers, all over a few pints.
#47 - Harm
Irvine wasn't a fighter, really, he'd've preferred to stay out of the action, but he couldn't have stood it if Zell got hurt and so he was there, to keep Zell from any harm, with his bullet from far away to complement Zell's fists at close range.
#48 - Precious
That grin was precious, something straight from childhood brought forward to light sparks and put butterflies in Irvine's stomach and oh, Zell was so precious and oh, he didn't know it.
#49 - Hunger
Zell was always hungry, and there were never enough hot dogs, something which Irvine tried to help him with -- he got up early (too early), bought a load of hot dogs and waited for Zell, watched him eat them with a smile on his face, a hungry smile, a smile that wanted Zell never to go hungry.
#50 - Believe
Irvine never believed in himself any more (how could he have failed to just shoot like he was supposed to?) but Zell believed, believed enough for everyone, believed enough that faced with almost certain death, with Squall exhausted at his side and Rinoa stretched out on the floor, he just stood there and fought and waited for Irvine, waited in all good faith for Irvine to save them.
Pairing: Irvine Kinneas x Zell Dincht
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG-13
#01 - Motion
Zell envied the cool, careful motion of the sharpshooter -- bullet in chamber, gun held steady -- and Irvine admired the quick flowing movements of a martial artist -- punch kick block duck feint -- and both admired the other's art, and watched, always watched.
#02 - Cool
Zell practised all the way to Balamb, that cool summer's evening, on their way to get drunk (but to see Zell's ma first), and Irvine walked with him, grinning at the kicks and flips, amused and smiling and finding a joy in life that he'd never known before.
#03 - Young
They actually first kissed at the Orphanage, an accidental kiss that was shrugged off and oh-so-quickly forgotten, a child's game; but the memories came back to find them and found them together, kissing and laughing and a little uncomfortable at how very young they had been.
#04 - Last
The last most people heard of Irvine Kinneas was when he walked out of their lives (forever) after an argument; however, having found someone like Zell, someone worth hanging on to, fuck his reputation, fuck everything, Irvine was going back to find the impossible idiot just as soon as he stopped wanting to shoot him.
#05 - Wrong
People were wrong about Irvine, and only Zell knew it -- they thought him a playboy with low standards, never likely to settle down; truth was, Irvine had a habit of becoming infatuated before his high standards caught up, and then they just weren't good enough so he had to move on and get infatuated all over again -- he'd been infatuated by Zell, but when high standards kicked in, Zell passed.
#06 - Gentle
Some assumed that because Irvine was the sweet talker he was the gentle one, and Zell was the insensitive one because he was a fighter with a hard head, but really, reverse that, and there you had them; Irvine was soft on the outside, but with something hard and sometimes unpleasant deeper down, and then Zell had a tough outer shell that just hid the sweet, soft stuff.
#07 - One
Zell had had one boyfriend, Irvine had dated most of the people he ever met, but one or one hundred, they were confident and they'd found the one this time.
#08 - Thousand
Irvine knew he could search the whole world, date a thousand people, and never find as good a catch as Zell -- he was hardworking (he did what he had to do), easy going (most of the time), knew how to relax (except on missions; an art that Irvine had yet to teach him), was pretty damn hot (with a really nice ass), and he loved Irvine with all his heart (almost smothering, really) -- the problem was, Irvine didn't and couldn't return that love.
#09 - King
Irvine was the reigning King of love 'em and leave 'em, and he certainly had no problem with loving Zell, he just found that he jammed up a little when it came to leaving him.
#10 - Learn
He was the hero of a war, or one of them, he was a good fighter, he was bisexual, he was attractive, but he'd never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend -- when he started to date Irvine, he suspected he'd learn a lot about all that kind of thing -- he just wasn't sure that Irvine would be as good an influence as he claimed he was.
#11 - Blur
It all became somewhat of a blur after the third bottle or so, but what Zell was sure of was that at least he must have had damn good sex the night before, after all, judging by the soreness of his ass and the cowboy hat on the floor (not to mention the reputation of his chosen drinking partner), he'd been well fucked -- the only thing he could be sure of through fuzzy sleep and the remains of alcohol was that he wished he'd been sober, so he could remember the best fuck of his life.
#12 - Wait
To date Irvine, as Zell learned and many others had before him, you needed a hard head (none harder than a martial artist's, I guess), a thick skin (because you were going to get hurt), a fetish for cowboys and more than human amounts of patience (or at least a willingness to wait around for Irvine to change); somehow, Zell managed it all.
#13 - Change
On being screamed at and kicked out of a fairly astounding number of beds, Irvine still shied away from changing, stubbornly remaining the way he was to spite them -- Zell didn't bother with screaming or kicking him out, the first time Irvine showed signs of being interested in too many other people, Zell beat change into Irvine with his fists and if Irvine smiled a little more crooked now, his smiles were just for Zell.
#14 - Command
Zell wasn't the most commanding person, really, that was for someone like Squall (smooth, cool, detached and at a distance), but there was one command that Irvine would never disobey, breathed into his ear with Zell's most mischievous grin -- "Take me home," he'd whisper, "and fuck me."
#15 - Hold
Irvine didn't need holding, Zell didn't need holding, but sometimes, sometimes when they got home from missions tired and aching in every cell that could ache, sometimes it was good to snuggle close and be held.
#16 - Need
They didn't need each other, they would both deny that as fiercely as Squall and Seifer would deny that they were friends (or god forbid, more); but they missed each other like missing organs, when they were apart.
#17 - Vision
Sometimes, when Irvine woke, there was a vision printed on the inside of his eyelids, the Sorceress standing there, his Matron and yet not; Zell wasn't good at comforting but he could cling, and squeeze, and sometimes that was exactly what Irvine needed.
#18 - Attention
Zell didn't need Irvine to pay attention to him, wasn't like all those girls who used to hang off his arm and look up at him with those simpering expressions, the ones who wanted to know where he was at all times, but somehow that made it easier to be faithful.
#19 - Soul
If Irvine had a soul, well, he was damn sure that it was tainted and tarnished and all of that and that it wouldn't be going to a better place when he died; Zell was convinced that he would (there's good in you, I know it! he'd say, teasing) and that they'd be in a better place together which is more than Irvine knew.
#20 - Picture
Irvine had just one thing from the Orphanage, and he wondered if he should ever show anyone, because it was silly and sentimental but there it was; Irvine and Zell and Selphie's drawing, the three of them, together, on a beach -- he'd kept it in the hope that like a wish made on a star, one day it would come true.
#21 - Fool
He was pretty sure that falling in love made him a fucking fool, but hey, whatever, that was okay, because he'd been a fool for worse things and Zell was quite a good reason to act (just a little) foolish.
#22 - Mad
He'd never seen Zell so angry as he was when that ex-girlfriend of his hit him, and though Zell would never hit girls he knew that he wanted to and he didn't understand but he smiled anyway because Zell was mad at a girl for him and that was an amusing (and nice) thought.
#23 - Child
Sometimes, Zell seemed hardly more than the child he'd once been and that was pretty weird for Irvine, but in some ways it was great because Zell trusted, oh he trusted so easily, and Irvine found it easier to live when his lovers (mistakenly) trusted him.
#24 - Now
There was the past that didn't matter, full of Selphie and further back, conflict and all the bad things, and then there was the future which was empty until he got there, and there was the present and that was full of Zell, just Zell.
#25 - Shadow
Irvine was laying just so, as he always lay, slumped in the grass, as serene a picture as ever, and Zell's shadow broke the scene, but that didn't spoil it, no, Irvine pulled him down and held him, just held him, tight and tender and perfect.
#26 - Goodbye
People are always saying goodbye, goodnight, farewell and I'll see you soon; Irvine worried that if he said goodbye, see you soon, to Zell, as he had to Selphie when he left the Orphanage, he might not see him soon.
#27 - Hide
Gonna hide so you can't find me, Zell would say, and Selphie would laugh and she and Irvine would find him, always find him, because he would scrunch up in fear when they shouted gonna getcha! and he'd whimper, so they'd find him, wherever he hid, and really, Irvine knew all his hiding places.
#28 - Fortune
Irvine didn't believe in any god, he believed in sheer dumb luck, even if sheer dumb luck did some fucking good things for him, like now, when Zell wanted him and he wanted Zell (dense little idiot as he was sometimes, it had got through somehow) and since they both wanted each other, they were going to try it.
#29 - Safe
It wasn't safe and maybe he was going to get hurt, but that was part of it -- just like the battles full of adrenaline and danger, their kisses were dangerous, Irvine's gunpowder flavoured tongue and Zell's sharp teeth, and fuck, it felt so good.
#30 - Ghost
Sometimes when the rush of adrenaline was gone and he was left with the thought that hey, maybe all this fighting was just pointless, he felt like a ghost, like some insubstantial thing left behind; Zell was solid and warm and grinning and not at all superstitious and you couldn't feel like you were fading with him.
#31 - Book
Should write a book about all the women I've had, Irvine said, lazy, and Zell shook his head, because he knew what Irvine knew, what all of those women had known, that they didn't matter, they had never mattered.
#32 - Eye
Zell had this habit, on a morning, of opening one eye, then the other, so when Irvine lay back, lazy, watching Zell wake up slowly, blue eyes opening first one, then another, it never failed to make Irvine smile.
#33 - Never
He'd loved and lost so many, and so many had loved and lost him, charmer, charmer with honeysweet forked tongue, but he'd found in time that there was one person that he loved, and wouldn't leave, one person who loved him and to whom the idea of parting was kind of ridiculous.
#34 - Sing
Zell could sing, perhaps surprisingly, so when Selphie had her guitar and Zell was singing at the Garden festival, Irvine's eyes were on him and, oh, he just couldn't look away.
#35 - Sudden
See, he'd never really noticed anything in Zell, but he looked up at him across the table in the cafeteria and his blue eyes were just captivating, and all of a sudden just like that, Irvine was in love.
#36 - Stop
Oh, they couldn't stop, it would hurt in the morning but the morning wasn't yet, and maybe, maybe they could salvage something good from stupid mistakes -- and Zell didn't have anyone else, and Irvine had too many other people, so maybe, maybe it would be alright.
#37 - Time
Takes time to stop hurting, doesn't it? Irvine asked, so casual, so cool and so smooth and suave, and Zell nodded, swallowed past the blockade in his throat, and just nodded, because he hadn't had enough time yet.
#38 - Wash
Grass stains and dirt stains and stains of something else better not thought about, the proof and results of their play outside, and god, it made Zell smile, but it'd all come out in the wash, fade to nothing but a handful of memories.
#39 - Torn
The cowboy hat came off worse, of course, but Zell's ma could sew and so they went there, to see if she could fix it, and Zell thought that Irvine looked really fucking perfect without that hat, as good as he looked with it.
#40 - History
History would record their births, deaths and marriages, their children, too, but not their love affairs; in years to come, Irvine and Zell's brief spark could be forgotten, but it wasn't history yet and there was time.
#41 - Power
Irvine knew there were so many kinds of power, and Cid had some kinds and Squall had quite another and then there was Rinoa and that was quite different, but he had just one power and he used it, oh, mercilessly, the power to make Zell squirm and beg and whimper.
#42 - Bother
Some mornings, Irvine just didn't feel like getting out of bed when Zell did -- whoever thought pairing a morning person with a night owl oughta be shot -- couldn't be bothered but hey, the reason for staying in bed was getting out of bed, so he might as well follow.
#43 - God
Irvine wasn't a god, no, but he had a hard job convincing Zell of that when they had sex because all Zell would (could) say, that litany, that sounded so good and came to his lips so easily -- oh god, oh Irvine, fuck, oh god...
#44 - Wall
Up against a wall, and it wasn't them, it belonged to rivals and sexual tension and all of that, so raw and so passionate and fuck, it was new and different and, Zell thought and Irvine agreed, so perfect.
#45 - Naked
When Zell found him naked in bed with Selphie, oh, apologies could never be enough and even though he loved Zell, only Zell, he just couldn't keep his hands off everyone else and maybe, maybe, maybe Irvine should stay away from Zell and just let him heal.
#46 - Drive
There was the drive to fight -- Seifer and Squall -- and the drive to annoy -- Squall and Rinoa -- and then there was the drive to just be two guys and have fun together, and that was what drove Zell and Irvine; from friends to fuck buddies to lovers, all over a few pints.
#47 - Harm
Irvine wasn't a fighter, really, he'd've preferred to stay out of the action, but he couldn't have stood it if Zell got hurt and so he was there, to keep Zell from any harm, with his bullet from far away to complement Zell's fists at close range.
#48 - Precious
That grin was precious, something straight from childhood brought forward to light sparks and put butterflies in Irvine's stomach and oh, Zell was so precious and oh, he didn't know it.
#49 - Hunger
Zell was always hungry, and there were never enough hot dogs, something which Irvine tried to help him with -- he got up early (too early), bought a load of hot dogs and waited for Zell, watched him eat them with a smile on his face, a hungry smile, a smile that wanted Zell never to go hungry.
#50 - Believe
Irvine never believed in himself any more (how could he have failed to just shoot like he was supposed to?) but Zell believed, believed enough for everyone, believed enough that faced with almost certain death, with Squall exhausted at his side and Rinoa stretched out on the floor, he just stood there and fought and waited for Irvine, waited in all good faith for Irvine to save them.