Week 8 - I know I'm late. Blame Batman.
A/N: I’m bending the prompt here - it’s not really lemonade, but lemon-aid. Technically it follows my story Sex Ed, but you don’t have to read that first.
Before the Deed
Wufei knew that he owed Heero one. After all, Heero hadn’t really indulged him when he tried to fight him, but rather fought just enough not to be blown out of the sky while at the same time trying to talk sense into him. It was one of those things they never mentioned, but Wufei had a hard time refusing if Heero asked for a favour after that (not that he asked all that often).
This, however, was stretching it a bit too far.
“Could you repeat that, please?” he asked as calmly as he could, wondering how Heero, who wasn’t a Preventer, had even managed to show up at the door to his office without anyone stopping him.
“How do you know when you’re ready to have sex with someone?”
The question didn’t sound any better the second time he heard it.
“That’s a purely academic question, right?” Wufei asked, mentally pleading for the answer to be ‘yes’.
“No, not really.”
Right. Because that would mean that Wufei was lucky, and Lady Luck seemed to have left the building completely, as well as booked a ticket to Bahamas. In fact, she was probably sipping margaritas right now.
Blast it, he had to ask. “Are you ready to take your relationship with Relena Peacecraft further, then?”
“It’s Darlian, as you well know, and I don’t know yet. That’s why I’m talking to you.”
Maybe the plane to the Bahamas hadn’t taken off yet. Wufei decided to press further: “Why me?” A thought occurred to him: “Did someone mention that I used to be married?”
Heero frowned at him. “Trowa probably doesn’t know the answer, Quatre would get embarrassed, Duo would never let me hear the end of it, Noin would just get very, very protective, Sally would get that ‘oh, how adorable’ look on her face, I’d rather shoot myself than ask Une or Dorothy, Pagan would shoot me, and I refuse to ask Zechs. I had no idea that you used to be married. What happened?”
Wufei shook his head. “Long story. Let’s just get this over with.”
“You have almost the same expression on your face as Doctor J did when he told me about sex,” Heero muttered, and Wufei blanched. He was the only pilot who hadn’t ever seen Doctor J’s face, but Duo had told him about him. At length. Wufei probably knew everything Duo knew about Doctor J, now, which admittedly wasn’t very much, but it was enough to make him understand why Heero might need a few pointers, if the good old mad scientist had been responsible for giving him the Talk.
“What did he tell you?” Wufei asked. It didn’t seem like Heero was going to go away, so he might as well do this. It would be good training for when he had children of his own, he tried to reassure himself. He didn’t find himself very reassuring.
“He said to talk to her about it first,” Heero replied. “But how do I know when to talk to her if I don’t know if I’m ready to do anything yet?”
“Well...Sex, especially if you really care about the other person, has the potential to be the occasion when you’re the most open and vulnerable to another person, physically and emotionally. Do you trust her with not just your body, but your soul?” Wow, that sounded poetic, actually...
“Of course.”
If Wufei envied Heero anything, it was that he was always so certain about things. “Do you trust yourself with her body and soul as well?”
Heero frowned. “I would never intentionally hurt her. Accidentally...I might.”
Wufei nodded. “Remember to tell her that, and then leave it up to her whether or not she’ll take the risk.” He hesitated, then plunged ahead: “Do you imagine her when you pleasure yourself?”
“You mean masturbate?”
Wufei was amazed that he hadn’t started blushing yet. “Yes. That.”
“I...have a few times. It was nice.” Heero seemed to be in his own little world, now. His eyes had grown soft, and an almost dopey grin was spreading over his face.
Wufei would not have that sort of thing happening in his office.
“I’d say you’re ready, then,” he said brusquely. “Talk to her about it, suggest that you begin with kissing and cuddling and let things progress from there. If you’re ready, you’ll be able to keep going. If you’re not, you’ll feel it and stop.”
Heero nodded. “Thank you.”
“You can thank me by never bringing this up again,” Wufei muttered, before frowning at Heero: “I don’t owe you any favours, now.”
Heero blinked. “You never did.”
Wufei could feel a vein starting to throb in his forehead. He looked down at his papers. “Get out. Go get laid. Just leave me out of it.”
Heero stood from his chair. “I was planning to. You’re attractive enough, but not really my type.”
Wufei looked up sharply, but Heero had already disappeared from view.
Before the Deed
Wufei knew that he owed Heero one. After all, Heero hadn’t really indulged him when he tried to fight him, but rather fought just enough not to be blown out of the sky while at the same time trying to talk sense into him. It was one of those things they never mentioned, but Wufei had a hard time refusing if Heero asked for a favour after that (not that he asked all that often).
This, however, was stretching it a bit too far.
“Could you repeat that, please?” he asked as calmly as he could, wondering how Heero, who wasn’t a Preventer, had even managed to show up at the door to his office without anyone stopping him.
“How do you know when you’re ready to have sex with someone?”
The question didn’t sound any better the second time he heard it.
“That’s a purely academic question, right?” Wufei asked, mentally pleading for the answer to be ‘yes’.
“No, not really.”
Right. Because that would mean that Wufei was lucky, and Lady Luck seemed to have left the building completely, as well as booked a ticket to Bahamas. In fact, she was probably sipping margaritas right now.
Blast it, he had to ask. “Are you ready to take your relationship with Relena Peacecraft further, then?”
“It’s Darlian, as you well know, and I don’t know yet. That’s why I’m talking to you.”
Maybe the plane to the Bahamas hadn’t taken off yet. Wufei decided to press further: “Why me?” A thought occurred to him: “Did someone mention that I used to be married?”
Heero frowned at him. “Trowa probably doesn’t know the answer, Quatre would get embarrassed, Duo would never let me hear the end of it, Noin would just get very, very protective, Sally would get that ‘oh, how adorable’ look on her face, I’d rather shoot myself than ask Une or Dorothy, Pagan would shoot me, and I refuse to ask Zechs. I had no idea that you used to be married. What happened?”
Wufei shook his head. “Long story. Let’s just get this over with.”
“You have almost the same expression on your face as Doctor J did when he told me about sex,” Heero muttered, and Wufei blanched. He was the only pilot who hadn’t ever seen Doctor J’s face, but Duo had told him about him. At length. Wufei probably knew everything Duo knew about Doctor J, now, which admittedly wasn’t very much, but it was enough to make him understand why Heero might need a few pointers, if the good old mad scientist had been responsible for giving him the Talk.
“What did he tell you?” Wufei asked. It didn’t seem like Heero was going to go away, so he might as well do this. It would be good training for when he had children of his own, he tried to reassure himself. He didn’t find himself very reassuring.
“He said to talk to her about it first,” Heero replied. “But how do I know when to talk to her if I don’t know if I’m ready to do anything yet?”
“Well...Sex, especially if you really care about the other person, has the potential to be the occasion when you’re the most open and vulnerable to another person, physically and emotionally. Do you trust her with not just your body, but your soul?” Wow, that sounded poetic, actually...
“Of course.”
If Wufei envied Heero anything, it was that he was always so certain about things. “Do you trust yourself with her body and soul as well?”
Heero frowned. “I would never intentionally hurt her. Accidentally...I might.”
Wufei nodded. “Remember to tell her that, and then leave it up to her whether or not she’ll take the risk.” He hesitated, then plunged ahead: “Do you imagine her when you pleasure yourself?”
“You mean masturbate?”
Wufei was amazed that he hadn’t started blushing yet. “Yes. That.”
“I...have a few times. It was nice.” Heero seemed to be in his own little world, now. His eyes had grown soft, and an almost dopey grin was spreading over his face.
Wufei would not have that sort of thing happening in his office.
“I’d say you’re ready, then,” he said brusquely. “Talk to her about it, suggest that you begin with kissing and cuddling and let things progress from there. If you’re ready, you’ll be able to keep going. If you’re not, you’ll feel it and stop.”
Heero nodded. “Thank you.”
“You can thank me by never bringing this up again,” Wufei muttered, before frowning at Heero: “I don’t owe you any favours, now.”
Heero blinked. “You never did.”
Wufei could feel a vein starting to throb in his forehead. He looked down at his papers. “Get out. Go get laid. Just leave me out of it.”
Heero stood from his chair. “I was planning to. You’re attractive enough, but not really my type.”
Wufei looked up sharply, but Heero had already disappeared from view.