(no subject)
When you know you have had too much to drink
14 Ways for A Girl to Tell That They've had A Little Much to Drink:
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
3. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
4. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
5. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
6. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
7. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
8. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
9. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
10. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
11. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
12. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
13. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
14. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.