[Kira Izuru] [blind_nights]
Generic Title: 20 Facts About Kira
Author: blind_nights
Character: Kira Izuru
Rating: PG...? Or something. XD
Disclaimer/Notes: Yes, I do in fact own Bleach - my Canadian residency is all a fake. Also, gratuitous mention of both sex and alcohol. In the same sentence too.
1. The life lesson of respecting one's superiors was beat into his bones. The only time Kira ever disagreed with a captain was the day of his promotion to second seat - ploughing into Captain Hitsugaya and nearly knocking him down the stairs in his rush to meet Hinamori had been an honest mistake.
She always suggested having his hair brushed back from his eye ever since.
2. Kurosaki Ichigo was the first ryoka he ever had a conversation with. (He had been trying to temporarily escape from Matsumoto's booze fest, while Ichigo was fleeing Zaraki's blood fest, and somehow they had met at an intersection with no path to take but one together.) In retrospect, it wasn't much of a conversation. Neither said much beyond the typical diplomatic exchange between enemies of a recent past. As they came to part ways, Kira paused, and after a moment, reluctantly apologized for involving him and his friends in his treachery, body bent in a stiff bow.
The ryoka made it quite clear he didn't know what he was talking about ("The hell, dude?"), and told him his division insignia was like looking up the ass end of a badminton birdie.
Kira watched him run off into the darkness, struck silent.
Then he returned to the tenth division and forced more alcohol down his throat until he couldn't form a single understandable thought.
3. Kira is not a big drinker, and he's quite sure he'll never be able to hold his liquor. When he approached Matsumoto after what came to be dubbed 'the Aizen incident', that ungodly debacle had only been the second time he'd ever so much as touched a bottle of sake.
The vomit all over Captain Hitsugaya's desk was proof of that.
It was also the second time in so many years that he couldn't look the captain in the eyes, after swearing profusely that he would never, ever drink again.
4. Truth be told, the first time he got drunk, it had been entirely against his will. He, Renji, and Hinamori had all just graduated from the academy, and Renji had demanded they all go out for drinks to celebrate. After Renji had convinced - and quite diplomatically, too, given the fact he couldn't walk a straight line to save his life - Hinamori that they were all right to walk home by themselves, he challenged Kira to a chugging contest.
A drunken Kira did not take well to competition, and characteristically, neither did Renji.
They woke up twenty four blocks from where they'd started, with Zabimaru's hilt jabbing Kira in a very inappropriate place, and no memory of how they'd gotten three bags of cotton candy stuffed down their uniforms.
Kira swore profusely he would never drink again, and for a first-time vow, he really believed himself.
5. Trustworthy friends are the most valuable commodity in the world. He thought he knew that, since he didn't have any real friends for much of his life. But he only really learned that lesson when he ended up betraying the friends he had made, and they forgave him for it anyway.
6. The day Renji - loud and cheeky as always - corrected the sword grip he had been using since boyhood was the day Kira cried in front of his parents' grave for the first time.
7. He hasn't cried since, and if Renji tries to tell anyone differently, believe him when he says it's a lie. The only reason he was stumbling up the stairs with tears streaming down his face was because some jerks from the neighbouring division decided to prank him by dousing his clothes in a weird powder, not because Captain Kuchiki turned down his love confession and broke his heart.
8. But it is true he once thought he had a crush on Vice Captain Nanao. That is, until he got an 'anonymous' hell butterfly from the eighth division. All it said was that all was fair in love and war, and surprise castrations were pardonable under the right circumstances.
She never failed to question as to why Kira kept his eyes on his feet whenever they spoke at meetings.
9. Even though he was in all the top classes of the academy - and at the top of those top classes - Jenga is still the hardest game he has ever played in his life, and he'll take that secret to the grave.
10. Playing Jenga Truth or Dare with Captain Ichimaru, however, was possibly the scariest moment he'd ever experienced.
11. The third time he got drunk was the closest he'd ever come to losing his virginity ("Being bent over the bar top and getting fucked halfway to heaven," was how Matsumoto put it.). Of course, he couldn't really remember. He knows there had only been the three of them - himself, Matsumoto, and Hisagi-san (he still had a deep-seated respect for the older man, enough that Kira still kept an honorific even plastered out of his mind) - and that they had stumbled from bar to bar led only by their linked arms and Matsumoto's sixth sense for alcohol.
The only thing he could clearly recall - maybe more of an impression, really - was that he and Matsumoto had kissed. A lot. With hands that got lost in the other's clothing more often than not. He even remembered boldly climbing into her lap and making her moan a little.
Even nursing a hangover the size of two Rukongais combined, Kira nursed a secret pride over that memory. After all, Matsumoto wasn't known to fool around with just anyone.
12. The next day, Matsumoto swore on her zanpakuto she hadn't so much as touched him all night. But she hadn't expected Kira to be so loose with -
13. Kira didn't stay to hear the rest.
14. He's avoided the ninth division like a plague ever since, after swearing profusely that he would never, ever drink again.
15. Prolonged exposure to the human world ruined him, he's sure. Having Iba steal Wabisuke and replace him with a fake sword on the day he was to give his first zanjutsu demonstration to academy students was one thing, but if someone ever tried to take his Crunky Kids, he'd probably kill them.
16. "Between Day" is his favorite holiday, his favorite color is blue, and he does, in fact, side with Matsumoto over Orihime in the great debate of whose breasts are larger.
17. Every year he goes to his parents' graves to talk aloud about the changes in his life, and in his head he'll confess about all the mistakes he's made and ask for forgiveness. He talks about Renji, his first friend, the one who belted him upside the head with a bokken before finally claiming he was an all right guy. Hinamori, his first female friend who helped him through his 'how do I talk to girls?' stage. Captain Ichimaru, who he could never get up the courage to refer to as 'ex-Captain' or even 'traitor', although Kira knew it to be true.
"And I've made sure to respect my superiors and comrades," Kira said, imagining the stern line in his father's brow. Then he paused for a moment before continuing in a whisper, "Except for those I've tried to harm or made out with..."
He felt shamefaced and amused at the same time.
18. The identity of just who took his well-gossiped virginity is also a secret that will go with him to the grave. Although technically it's a two-way secret - and every time Kira meets his eyes by accident, he can't help but blush like a flustered teenager.
19. The fourth time Kira got drunk, it was in the quiet of Kurosaki Ichigo's family clinic, surrounded by all the friends who had also been assigned to the human world against Aizen. After Renji tripped on a bedpan and sent Ikkaku tumbling to the floor, he giggled so loud Ichigo finally caught wind of where they were hiding and started pounding on the barricaded door, screaming, "I thought I told you bastards to stop sneaking booze in there, goddamn it!"
Matsumoto promptly jumped on Renji's back, snorting.
Kira decided now was the time to repent to Captain Hitsugaya and tried to tug him, the only sober one, out of the dog pile - but Hisagi screamed something about the Shinigami Women's Association and yanked back on Hitsugaya's leg, sending Kira flying into Yumichika, whom he kissed rather sloppily on their freefall onto the nearest bed. They slipped off, bumped Hanatarou, and somehow ended up trapped in a squirming, squealing, belching pile of drunken shinigami.
"It's good to be drunk, with your friends, on a pile, with Ran-chan's boobs and a bottle a' booze~" Ikkaku sang, slapping Renji's cheek with every pause in the ditty.
Someone grabbed Kira around the neck and carried on the song while he made the unilateral decision to pass out.
20. He woke up surrounded on all sides by his friends, and he thinks it's close to being the best feeling in the world.
Author: blind_nights
Character: Kira Izuru
Rating: PG...? Or something. XD
Disclaimer/Notes: Yes, I do in fact own Bleach - my Canadian residency is all a fake. Also, gratuitous mention of both sex and alcohol. In the same sentence too.
1. The life lesson of respecting one's superiors was beat into his bones. The only time Kira ever disagreed with a captain was the day of his promotion to second seat - ploughing into Captain Hitsugaya and nearly knocking him down the stairs in his rush to meet Hinamori had been an honest mistake.
She always suggested having his hair brushed back from his eye ever since.
2. Kurosaki Ichigo was the first ryoka he ever had a conversation with. (He had been trying to temporarily escape from Matsumoto's booze fest, while Ichigo was fleeing Zaraki's blood fest, and somehow they had met at an intersection with no path to take but one together.) In retrospect, it wasn't much of a conversation. Neither said much beyond the typical diplomatic exchange between enemies of a recent past. As they came to part ways, Kira paused, and after a moment, reluctantly apologized for involving him and his friends in his treachery, body bent in a stiff bow.
The ryoka made it quite clear he didn't know what he was talking about ("The hell, dude?"), and told him his division insignia was like looking up the ass end of a badminton birdie.
Kira watched him run off into the darkness, struck silent.
Then he returned to the tenth division and forced more alcohol down his throat until he couldn't form a single understandable thought.
3. Kira is not a big drinker, and he's quite sure he'll never be able to hold his liquor. When he approached Matsumoto after what came to be dubbed 'the Aizen incident', that ungodly debacle had only been the second time he'd ever so much as touched a bottle of sake.
The vomit all over Captain Hitsugaya's desk was proof of that.
It was also the second time in so many years that he couldn't look the captain in the eyes, after swearing profusely that he would never, ever drink again.
4. Truth be told, the first time he got drunk, it had been entirely against his will. He, Renji, and Hinamori had all just graduated from the academy, and Renji had demanded they all go out for drinks to celebrate. After Renji had convinced - and quite diplomatically, too, given the fact he couldn't walk a straight line to save his life - Hinamori that they were all right to walk home by themselves, he challenged Kira to a chugging contest.
A drunken Kira did not take well to competition, and characteristically, neither did Renji.
They woke up twenty four blocks from where they'd started, with Zabimaru's hilt jabbing Kira in a very inappropriate place, and no memory of how they'd gotten three bags of cotton candy stuffed down their uniforms.
Kira swore profusely he would never drink again, and for a first-time vow, he really believed himself.
5. Trustworthy friends are the most valuable commodity in the world. He thought he knew that, since he didn't have any real friends for much of his life. But he only really learned that lesson when he ended up betraying the friends he had made, and they forgave him for it anyway.
6. The day Renji - loud and cheeky as always - corrected the sword grip he had been using since boyhood was the day Kira cried in front of his parents' grave for the first time.
7. He hasn't cried since, and if Renji tries to tell anyone differently, believe him when he says it's a lie. The only reason he was stumbling up the stairs with tears streaming down his face was because some jerks from the neighbouring division decided to prank him by dousing his clothes in a weird powder, not because Captain Kuchiki turned down his love confession and broke his heart.
8. But it is true he once thought he had a crush on Vice Captain Nanao. That is, until he got an 'anonymous' hell butterfly from the eighth division. All it said was that all was fair in love and war, and surprise castrations were pardonable under the right circumstances.
She never failed to question as to why Kira kept his eyes on his feet whenever they spoke at meetings.
9. Even though he was in all the top classes of the academy - and at the top of those top classes - Jenga is still the hardest game he has ever played in his life, and he'll take that secret to the grave.
10. Playing Jenga Truth or Dare with Captain Ichimaru, however, was possibly the scariest moment he'd ever experienced.
11. The third time he got drunk was the closest he'd ever come to losing his virginity ("Being bent over the bar top and getting fucked halfway to heaven," was how Matsumoto put it.). Of course, he couldn't really remember. He knows there had only been the three of them - himself, Matsumoto, and Hisagi-san (he still had a deep-seated respect for the older man, enough that Kira still kept an honorific even plastered out of his mind) - and that they had stumbled from bar to bar led only by their linked arms and Matsumoto's sixth sense for alcohol.
The only thing he could clearly recall - maybe more of an impression, really - was that he and Matsumoto had kissed. A lot. With hands that got lost in the other's clothing more often than not. He even remembered boldly climbing into her lap and making her moan a little.
Even nursing a hangover the size of two Rukongais combined, Kira nursed a secret pride over that memory. After all, Matsumoto wasn't known to fool around with just anyone.
12. The next day, Matsumoto swore on her zanpakuto she hadn't so much as touched him all night. But she hadn't expected Kira to be so loose with -
13. Kira didn't stay to hear the rest.
14. He's avoided the ninth division like a plague ever since, after swearing profusely that he would never, ever drink again.
15. Prolonged exposure to the human world ruined him, he's sure. Having Iba steal Wabisuke and replace him with a fake sword on the day he was to give his first zanjutsu demonstration to academy students was one thing, but if someone ever tried to take his Crunky Kids, he'd probably kill them.
16. "Between Day" is his favorite holiday, his favorite color is blue, and he does, in fact, side with Matsumoto over Orihime in the great debate of whose breasts are larger.
17. Every year he goes to his parents' graves to talk aloud about the changes in his life, and in his head he'll confess about all the mistakes he's made and ask for forgiveness. He talks about Renji, his first friend, the one who belted him upside the head with a bokken before finally claiming he was an all right guy. Hinamori, his first female friend who helped him through his 'how do I talk to girls?' stage. Captain Ichimaru, who he could never get up the courage to refer to as 'ex-Captain' or even 'traitor', although Kira knew it to be true.
"And I've made sure to respect my superiors and comrades," Kira said, imagining the stern line in his father's brow. Then he paused for a moment before continuing in a whisper, "Except for those I've tried to harm or made out with..."
He felt shamefaced and amused at the same time.
18. The identity of just who took his well-gossiped virginity is also a secret that will go with him to the grave. Although technically it's a two-way secret - and every time Kira meets his eyes by accident, he can't help but blush like a flustered teenager.
19. The fourth time Kira got drunk, it was in the quiet of Kurosaki Ichigo's family clinic, surrounded by all the friends who had also been assigned to the human world against Aizen. After Renji tripped on a bedpan and sent Ikkaku tumbling to the floor, he giggled so loud Ichigo finally caught wind of where they were hiding and started pounding on the barricaded door, screaming, "I thought I told you bastards to stop sneaking booze in there, goddamn it!"
Matsumoto promptly jumped on Renji's back, snorting.
Kira decided now was the time to repent to Captain Hitsugaya and tried to tug him, the only sober one, out of the dog pile - but Hisagi screamed something about the Shinigami Women's Association and yanked back on Hitsugaya's leg, sending Kira flying into Yumichika, whom he kissed rather sloppily on their freefall onto the nearest bed. They slipped off, bumped Hanatarou, and somehow ended up trapped in a squirming, squealing, belching pile of drunken shinigami.
"It's good to be drunk, with your friends, on a pile, with Ran-chan's boobs and a bottle a' booze~" Ikkaku sang, slapping Renji's cheek with every pause in the ditty.
Someone grabbed Kira around the neck and carried on the song while he made the unilateral decision to pass out.
20. He woke up surrounded on all sides by his friends, and he thinks it's close to being the best feeling in the world.