Comments | 20weeks: Challenge # 5: Kaylee-Hands

underhand_glory in 20weeks

Challenge # 5: Kaylee-Hands

Sep 23, 2005 20:49

I am so so behind and with less than two weeks left until the BDM *squee*, I'm not sure I'll get all my fics done. Just clearing out whichever are done right now ( Read more... )

Comments 4

alixtii September 24 2005, 03:44:40 UTC

A comma would be fine where you have the semi-colon in the last sentence. Also, the dashes in that last sentence don't quite work, because everything within the dsashes reads as if it is together, and it's not; perhaps you should consider using parentheses to set off the phrases, or rephrasing.

I like the fic itself, though. True to life, true to the show, poignant.

underhand_glory September 25 2005, 12:05:40 UTC

Yeah, I was kind of overcompensating for not knowing quite what to put there by using as much punctuation as physically possible. Thank you, though!

lenija December 26 2005, 03:18:52 UTC

I love it, especially the way you describe the characters, appearance and thoughts. You are very close to them, I think, very "in character" and you don't exaggerate. This is the first Firefly-Fic I read, and it is exactly what I wanted to read. Thanks.

(Sorry, I'm bad at constructive criticism. Maybe next time? ;))

naive_nostalgia January 7 2006, 22:45:00 UTC

Great fic. I think you did a great job at staying true to everything.