it's bigger than you or me
Title: Brutal Love [6]
Author: Molly
Pairing: Billie/Mike
Summary: Normally, he didn't mind tagging along on a shopping spree-actually, he quite enjoyed it-but today, his heart just wasn't in it.
Previous Parts: located here
Monday found Billie Joe in the back of a San Francisco clothing boutique, perched on an overstuffed leather armchair placed in the middle of the store's impressive dressing area. Two racks were set on either side of his chair; one filled with try ons and the other with rejects. As he had expected, there wasn't a rack for yeses or even maybes, but it was only noon; Alyssa still had plenty of time to continue her adamant disgust of everything she put on her body, despite Billie's insistence that she looked good in at least half of the articles she'd chosen.
He could see her bare feet underneath the door to her dressing room, painted toes hopping up and down as she struggled into the next thing she was trying on. Billie sighed, crossing his ankle over his knee and picking a piece of lint off his pants. Normally, he didn't mind tagging along on a shopping spree-actually, he quite enjoyed it-but today, his heart just wasn't in it.
“Ugh. No. This one makes me look like a hot mess.”
“C'mon, Al, let's see it.”
“You're gonna laugh.”
“I am not, get your ass out here.”
The door to her dressing room swung open, and Aly shuffled through it. A form-fitting, satin, navy blue dress clung to her curves, with a V-neckline that exposed just enough of her cleavage to make it worth it. Her soft brown hair fell over her shoulders and down her back in waves, complementing the lack of straps to the number, and she chewed on her lip as she spun in circles in front of her best friend.
Billie stood from the chair with a grin slowly stretching across his mouth. He used both of his pointer fingers to gesture to her, nodding all the while. “This. This is the one, Aly.”
“God, you think so?” Her surprise was evident, as she approached the full length mirror built into the wall of the dressing area. She had a hand on her hip, as she turned this way and that, then caught Billie Joe's eyes in the reflection. “It's not too slutty?”
“No, it's the right enough amount of slutty. That dick is going to kill himself just at the sight of you.”
Smirking at the compliment, she said, “He fuckin' better. The best part is, I have the perfect pair of heels to go with this one. And I was gonna toss it. . . what would I do without you, Bill?” She kissed his cheek on the way back to her dressing room, unzipping as she went. “I'm kinda surprised you didn't bring Olivia with you, though. That little girl has good taste, and she's only six.”
“Well, it was bound to happen. Mike and I both have obscenely good taste.” Billie allowed himself an indulgent grin, as he sat back in his chair. He scanned through his phone, though no new messages had come in. “My mom took her to get her own outfit today. She starts kindergarten tomorrow.”
Aly's gasp was audible from behind the door. “Oh, my God, you've gotta be kidding. I can't believe how fast she's grown up.” She unlatched the door to her dressing room and stepped out, back in her ripped jeans and dark green sweatshirt, her selectec dress draped over her arm. “Is that why you seem like you're in a funk today?” When Billie made a face that was meant to question why she believed such a thing, Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, BJ, I know you well enough by now to tell when you're distracted. Well, more distracted than usual. . .”
He sighed, following her out of the dressing area and back into the endless racks of sequined dresses and designer sweaters. “Okay, but that's not what's bothering me, though. I mean, yeah, thinking that my little girl isn't a little girl anymore makes me wanna cry, but watching her grow is one of the best parts of my life. Even if it seems like just yesterday that I was holding her little hands as she took her first steps. . .”
She smiled, sadly for his benefit, as they approached the register. “What is it, then? I mean, how can anyone be sad when they've just come back from a vacation to Hawaii of all places? I still hate you a bit for that, by the way.”
Billie Joe opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated after glancing at the high-heeled, heavily makeup-ed woman behind the counter. “It's hard to explain.”
“Then we'll go to lunch, and you can tell me all about. I'm starving anyway,” she said as she slapped her credit card down on the glass, without bothering to wait for her total. Mostly because she might bail on the purchase if she did. “But you're buying.”
The two friends went to one of their favorite spots in San Francisco; a little cafe with outdoor seating right next door to the farmer's market. This was primarily by Billie's design. He knew Mike would appreciate it if he came home with fresh vegetables, and Olivia would need snacks to pack in her lunch for her first day of school. He'd feel a little less guilty about putting a cookie in her lunch if she had some carrot sticks to go with it.
So by the time Aly and Billie took their favorite table that offered a nice view of the trolly passing down the street, two paper sacks were at their feet filled with all of Billie Joe's produce. Aly rolled her eyes over the top of her glass of iced tea, smirking faintly at her friend across the table.
“You and Mike and you're healthy heating. . . I can't even remember the last time I cooked.”
“That's because it's just you. Pretty sure my mom would call child services on us if we had pizza and Chinese food every night for dinner.”
“Either that or kidnap her.”
“Yeah. . . you're right, it could go either way.”
Alyssa sighed. She could see the disquiet in her friend's face, as his eyes scanned the shoppers and businessmen hustling up and down the sidewalk. After fourteen years of friendship, she could recall the few times that expression would cover his face; most of those times were before he and Mike had got together, more than ten years ago. In fact, the last time she could remember seeing Billie so uncomfortably pensive, was when he first found out he was pregnant with Olivia. The thought of this made Aly gasp, and she sat upright, grabbing the hand Billie had resting on the table.
“Jesus Christ, Billie Joe-are you pregnant?”
“What?” He yelped, his eyes wide in alarm, and he frantically shook his head, beginning to laugh as he squeezed her hand. “God, no. Why would you think that?”
“The last time I saw you so worried was when you found out you were going to have Olivia and hadn't told Mike yet.”
“Well, I assure you, no baby here. Between the musical earlier in the year, and then traveling this summer, we haven't exactly had a whole lot of opportunity or time. . .”
She exaggerated a huff of breath, to show her annoyance that she was wrong, and folded her arms across her chest. “Damnit, I thought that was it.” After chewing on her lip for a moment, Aly sighed again and murmured softly, “Then what's up, Bill? You're starting to freak me out here.”
“There's nothing to freak out about, Al,” Billie said, echoing her sigh as he sat up in his chair, leaning his elbows on the table so he could ruffle his hands through his wild black curls. “I probably shouldn't be freaking out myself. Not that I'm freaking out, but. . .”
“Did something happen in Hawaii? Which I find hard to believe. You seemed pretty damned happy in all the pictures you sent me from fuckin' paradise.”
“No, we had an amazing time in Hawaii. Actually, it was fucking perfect. We went scuba diving together, took a helicopter ride over the island, saw Pearl Harbor, climbed to the top of a dormant volcano. I mean, it was the first time in years that we had so much time to do things, just the two of us, and it was paradise.” At her mischievous smirk, Billie shook his head with his own dirty smile. “And it was more than just having endless, uninterrupted time to fuck in the hotel room.”
“But that was your favorite part.”
“Naturally.”
It was Alyssa's turn to laugh, but she schooled herself back into a thoughtful expression. “Okay, so if it was all sunshine and sand in tropical paradise, then what gives?”
Billie Joe looked down into his glass of tea, tracing the rim with the tip of his finger as he briefly chewed over in his mind how to answer her question. Indeed, it was a hard one to reply to when he honestly had no idea what the problem was in the first place. Giving a half shrug, he began, “I wish I knew, Al. Towards the end of the two weeks, Mike started getting restless to come back home. We both were, really-staying away from Olivia for that long is tough for us. But ever since we've gotten home, he's been distant with me, and I'm really not sure what to make of it. He tells me he's fine, but I can see that he isn't. I don't wanna push it and end up pushing him further away, but I don't want whatever it is to keep festering either. . . I don't know. It's a weird kind of mess.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but Billie kept going; obviously, he had been aching to get this-whatever it was-off his chest. “And maybe it's nothing altogether. I could just be losing my mind. Swallowed too much salt water or something.”
“Given your history of worrying about matters that don't exist, I would say that theory is valid.” There was a gentle nudge of jest in Aly's voice, and yet they both knew it wasn't necessarily just a joke. She took another sip of her iced tea and ran her fingers through her long, wavy hair. “So I'm assuming you've come out and asked him what was up, right?”
“Of course. We promised a long time ago that we wouldn't keep shit in. That's why the idea that he's hiding something from me is even more terrifying.”
“You don't think he's cheating, do you?”
At this, Billie laughed, and it was a true sound. “Are you kidding? We've been attached at the hip since, you know, we got together ten fucking years ago.” Billie Joe shook his head, pushing his drink to the side. “Mike's not a cheater. Not his style. If he was unhappy, he'd tell me. Or at least, I think he would. . .”
“I know you're a man, Billie, but us girls know the way your testosterone-fueled minds work. We always jump to cheating.” But, once she had defended her theory, she shook her own head, saying, “But you're right, Mike isn't the cheating kind. Too honest. Which is why you might be exaggerating his mood. You guys trooped across the world with a six year old last year, spent the first half of this year in New York while you paraded around on Broadway, hopped on a plane to Hawaii recently, and are just getting back home for a good stay after a year, like you said. His brain might not have caught up with his body yet. You know better than anyone that things like this take some kind of adjustment period.”
Through her thought process, Billie nodded along, still staring fixedly at the foggy faux-glass that comprised their tabletop. “Yeah,” he murmured, “you're right, I know. I'm just not used to us not being on the same page. . . you know?”
Smiling gently, Aly reached across the table to tangle their fingers together again and squeezed softly, as their waitress came through the opened door of the restaurant, carrying their dishes on a tray. “It's gonna be fine, Bill. Mikey loves you, that's all that matters.”
“I know,” he sighed, accepting his sandwich with a smile of thanks. They declined the server's offer to bring them anything else they might need, and Billie Joe popped a French fry into his mouth. “Thanks. I guess I needed to say it out loud to hear how fucked up I sounded.”
“You don't sound fucked up. You sound like Billie.” She poured a liberal dose of dressing over her salad bowl with a smirk. “Like the self-conscious, worry wart, basket case you've always been and always will be.”
--
So yeah, obviously men can't get pregnant and this is absolutely fictional, because mommy!Billie is one of my most favorite recreational characters to write about. My first completed full length story was also an mpreg,
Black Holes & Revelations. This is a distorted reality created by my silly little mind, and I can understand if people can't get on board with that. Cheers, though, if you can!
Author: Molly
Pairing: Billie/Mike
Summary: Normally, he didn't mind tagging along on a shopping spree-actually, he quite enjoyed it-but today, his heart just wasn't in it.
Previous Parts: located here
Monday found Billie Joe in the back of a San Francisco clothing boutique, perched on an overstuffed leather armchair placed in the middle of the store's impressive dressing area. Two racks were set on either side of his chair; one filled with try ons and the other with rejects. As he had expected, there wasn't a rack for yeses or even maybes, but it was only noon; Alyssa still had plenty of time to continue her adamant disgust of everything she put on her body, despite Billie's insistence that she looked good in at least half of the articles she'd chosen.
He could see her bare feet underneath the door to her dressing room, painted toes hopping up and down as she struggled into the next thing she was trying on. Billie sighed, crossing his ankle over his knee and picking a piece of lint off his pants. Normally, he didn't mind tagging along on a shopping spree-actually, he quite enjoyed it-but today, his heart just wasn't in it.
“Ugh. No. This one makes me look like a hot mess.”
“C'mon, Al, let's see it.”
“You're gonna laugh.”
“I am not, get your ass out here.”
The door to her dressing room swung open, and Aly shuffled through it. A form-fitting, satin, navy blue dress clung to her curves, with a V-neckline that exposed just enough of her cleavage to make it worth it. Her soft brown hair fell over her shoulders and down her back in waves, complementing the lack of straps to the number, and she chewed on her lip as she spun in circles in front of her best friend.
Billie stood from the chair with a grin slowly stretching across his mouth. He used both of his pointer fingers to gesture to her, nodding all the while. “This. This is the one, Aly.”
“God, you think so?” Her surprise was evident, as she approached the full length mirror built into the wall of the dressing area. She had a hand on her hip, as she turned this way and that, then caught Billie Joe's eyes in the reflection. “It's not too slutty?”
“No, it's the right enough amount of slutty. That dick is going to kill himself just at the sight of you.”
Smirking at the compliment, she said, “He fuckin' better. The best part is, I have the perfect pair of heels to go with this one. And I was gonna toss it. . . what would I do without you, Bill?” She kissed his cheek on the way back to her dressing room, unzipping as she went. “I'm kinda surprised you didn't bring Olivia with you, though. That little girl has good taste, and she's only six.”
“Well, it was bound to happen. Mike and I both have obscenely good taste.” Billie allowed himself an indulgent grin, as he sat back in his chair. He scanned through his phone, though no new messages had come in. “My mom took her to get her own outfit today. She starts kindergarten tomorrow.”
Aly's gasp was audible from behind the door. “Oh, my God, you've gotta be kidding. I can't believe how fast she's grown up.” She unlatched the door to her dressing room and stepped out, back in her ripped jeans and dark green sweatshirt, her selectec dress draped over her arm. “Is that why you seem like you're in a funk today?” When Billie made a face that was meant to question why she believed such a thing, Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, BJ, I know you well enough by now to tell when you're distracted. Well, more distracted than usual. . .”
He sighed, following her out of the dressing area and back into the endless racks of sequined dresses and designer sweaters. “Okay, but that's not what's bothering me, though. I mean, yeah, thinking that my little girl isn't a little girl anymore makes me wanna cry, but watching her grow is one of the best parts of my life. Even if it seems like just yesterday that I was holding her little hands as she took her first steps. . .”
She smiled, sadly for his benefit, as they approached the register. “What is it, then? I mean, how can anyone be sad when they've just come back from a vacation to Hawaii of all places? I still hate you a bit for that, by the way.”
Billie Joe opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated after glancing at the high-heeled, heavily makeup-ed woman behind the counter. “It's hard to explain.”
“Then we'll go to lunch, and you can tell me all about. I'm starving anyway,” she said as she slapped her credit card down on the glass, without bothering to wait for her total. Mostly because she might bail on the purchase if she did. “But you're buying.”
The two friends went to one of their favorite spots in San Francisco; a little cafe with outdoor seating right next door to the farmer's market. This was primarily by Billie's design. He knew Mike would appreciate it if he came home with fresh vegetables, and Olivia would need snacks to pack in her lunch for her first day of school. He'd feel a little less guilty about putting a cookie in her lunch if she had some carrot sticks to go with it.
So by the time Aly and Billie took their favorite table that offered a nice view of the trolly passing down the street, two paper sacks were at their feet filled with all of Billie Joe's produce. Aly rolled her eyes over the top of her glass of iced tea, smirking faintly at her friend across the table.
“You and Mike and you're healthy heating. . . I can't even remember the last time I cooked.”
“That's because it's just you. Pretty sure my mom would call child services on us if we had pizza and Chinese food every night for dinner.”
“Either that or kidnap her.”
“Yeah. . . you're right, it could go either way.”
Alyssa sighed. She could see the disquiet in her friend's face, as his eyes scanned the shoppers and businessmen hustling up and down the sidewalk. After fourteen years of friendship, she could recall the few times that expression would cover his face; most of those times were before he and Mike had got together, more than ten years ago. In fact, the last time she could remember seeing Billie so uncomfortably pensive, was when he first found out he was pregnant with Olivia. The thought of this made Aly gasp, and she sat upright, grabbing the hand Billie had resting on the table.
“Jesus Christ, Billie Joe-are you pregnant?”
“What?” He yelped, his eyes wide in alarm, and he frantically shook his head, beginning to laugh as he squeezed her hand. “God, no. Why would you think that?”
“The last time I saw you so worried was when you found out you were going to have Olivia and hadn't told Mike yet.”
“Well, I assure you, no baby here. Between the musical earlier in the year, and then traveling this summer, we haven't exactly had a whole lot of opportunity or time. . .”
She exaggerated a huff of breath, to show her annoyance that she was wrong, and folded her arms across her chest. “Damnit, I thought that was it.” After chewing on her lip for a moment, Aly sighed again and murmured softly, “Then what's up, Bill? You're starting to freak me out here.”
“There's nothing to freak out about, Al,” Billie said, echoing her sigh as he sat up in his chair, leaning his elbows on the table so he could ruffle his hands through his wild black curls. “I probably shouldn't be freaking out myself. Not that I'm freaking out, but. . .”
“Did something happen in Hawaii? Which I find hard to believe. You seemed pretty damned happy in all the pictures you sent me from fuckin' paradise.”
“No, we had an amazing time in Hawaii. Actually, it was fucking perfect. We went scuba diving together, took a helicopter ride over the island, saw Pearl Harbor, climbed to the top of a dormant volcano. I mean, it was the first time in years that we had so much time to do things, just the two of us, and it was paradise.” At her mischievous smirk, Billie shook his head with his own dirty smile. “And it was more than just having endless, uninterrupted time to fuck in the hotel room.”
“But that was your favorite part.”
“Naturally.”
It was Alyssa's turn to laugh, but she schooled herself back into a thoughtful expression. “Okay, so if it was all sunshine and sand in tropical paradise, then what gives?”
Billie Joe looked down into his glass of tea, tracing the rim with the tip of his finger as he briefly chewed over in his mind how to answer her question. Indeed, it was a hard one to reply to when he honestly had no idea what the problem was in the first place. Giving a half shrug, he began, “I wish I knew, Al. Towards the end of the two weeks, Mike started getting restless to come back home. We both were, really-staying away from Olivia for that long is tough for us. But ever since we've gotten home, he's been distant with me, and I'm really not sure what to make of it. He tells me he's fine, but I can see that he isn't. I don't wanna push it and end up pushing him further away, but I don't want whatever it is to keep festering either. . . I don't know. It's a weird kind of mess.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but Billie kept going; obviously, he had been aching to get this-whatever it was-off his chest. “And maybe it's nothing altogether. I could just be losing my mind. Swallowed too much salt water or something.”
“Given your history of worrying about matters that don't exist, I would say that theory is valid.” There was a gentle nudge of jest in Aly's voice, and yet they both knew it wasn't necessarily just a joke. She took another sip of her iced tea and ran her fingers through her long, wavy hair. “So I'm assuming you've come out and asked him what was up, right?”
“Of course. We promised a long time ago that we wouldn't keep shit in. That's why the idea that he's hiding something from me is even more terrifying.”
“You don't think he's cheating, do you?”
At this, Billie laughed, and it was a true sound. “Are you kidding? We've been attached at the hip since, you know, we got together ten fucking years ago.” Billie Joe shook his head, pushing his drink to the side. “Mike's not a cheater. Not his style. If he was unhappy, he'd tell me. Or at least, I think he would. . .”
“I know you're a man, Billie, but us girls know the way your testosterone-fueled minds work. We always jump to cheating.” But, once she had defended her theory, she shook her own head, saying, “But you're right, Mike isn't the cheating kind. Too honest. Which is why you might be exaggerating his mood. You guys trooped across the world with a six year old last year, spent the first half of this year in New York while you paraded around on Broadway, hopped on a plane to Hawaii recently, and are just getting back home for a good stay after a year, like you said. His brain might not have caught up with his body yet. You know better than anyone that things like this take some kind of adjustment period.”
Through her thought process, Billie nodded along, still staring fixedly at the foggy faux-glass that comprised their tabletop. “Yeah,” he murmured, “you're right, I know. I'm just not used to us not being on the same page. . . you know?”
Smiling gently, Aly reached across the table to tangle their fingers together again and squeezed softly, as their waitress came through the opened door of the restaurant, carrying their dishes on a tray. “It's gonna be fine, Bill. Mikey loves you, that's all that matters.”
“I know,” he sighed, accepting his sandwich with a smile of thanks. They declined the server's offer to bring them anything else they might need, and Billie Joe popped a French fry into his mouth. “Thanks. I guess I needed to say it out loud to hear how fucked up I sounded.”
“You don't sound fucked up. You sound like Billie.” She poured a liberal dose of dressing over her salad bowl with a smirk. “Like the self-conscious, worry wart, basket case you've always been and always will be.”
--
So yeah, obviously men can't get pregnant and this is absolutely fictional, because mommy!Billie is one of my most favorite recreational characters to write about. My first completed full length story was also an mpreg,
Black Holes & Revelations. This is a distorted reality created by my silly little mind, and I can understand if people can't get on board with that. Cheers, though, if you can!