(no subject)
i just woke up, kind of. well, just got out of bed. for the past 30 minutes or so, i've been talking with someone about some things i never thought i'd hear/say again. as is the usual case in these situations, i got the "are you happy?" bit.
no, i'm not, thank you. but i'm working on it. it's finally become apparent to me that i need to start with me and the rest will follow. to be honest, i've very much been considering adopting an ascetic lifestyle for a year or so so that i can learn to enjoy the world as it is, clear my mind, and hopefully have some kind of spiritual revelation. i'm not sure how practical that would be, however, and i'm not sure if the type of temple i'd like to join is anywhere near here.
i thought of something else as well.
my friends and i, and perhaps my generation, or maybe our entire culture...when a friend has a problem in a relationship, be it love life or friendship or whatever, your closest friends almost always try to cheer you up by breaking the other person down. i've heard some vicious shit come out of a lot of mouths regarding people who have hurt me, including my own. this is confusing the hell out of me, and i certainly hope that it's a unique viewpoint - thinking that one can rise up by taking another down is a vicious and depressing method of thinking. i've defended the people who hurt me a number of times because, frankly, i still have faith in them in some form or another. i don't really know of many who have maliciously attempted to fuck my day up, and the one i do know...well, he's not around anymore, so i don't care. so why bother talking shit about the rest? it serves no purpose, really. yes, remember the things that made you hurt, and yes, avoid contact with that person as long as it's going to continue to be that way, but there's no reason to destroy someones reputation for mistakes.
i dunno. i'm tired. maybe i'm not making any sense.