Notes on Buffy 3.02: Dead Man's Party

[2maggie2]

Standard disclaimer: I'll often speak of foreshadowing, but that doesn't mean I'm at all committing to the idea that there was some fixed design from the word go -- it's a short hand for talking about the resonances that end up in the text as it unspools.

Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS.

Comments

[vamp_mogs]

Amazing guys! This actually might be one of my favourite notes ever!

I think a lot of the tension between Buffy/Willow in this episode has to do with “kick his ass” and that’s what Buffy means when she says Willow “wouldn’t understand.” Maybe it’s just me, but when Buffy says that to her there almost seems to be a bit of anger behind those words. In S2 Buffy shared everything with Willow about Angel and I think it must have devastated her when she thought Willow would be so insensitive and so clueless to say something like that. Of course, the tragedy is that Willow never said any such thing and now there’s going to be this wedge between them for years. We’ll see in Selfless that the lie sticks with Buffy for a very long time

Strudel here

[vamp_mogs]

That's a great point about how the "kick his ass" lie is likely affecting Buffy's distrust of Willow. That's the nasty side effect of Xander bringing Willow into the lie. That effect lingers because Willow doesn't know it's there and Buffy -- in full grovel mode -- doesn't call her on it.

[bluemage55]

Thanks to all three of you for sharing your thoughts

Strudel here

[bluemage55]

I think I agree in the main that Xander's attack here is deliberately hurtful. The one thing I don't think he sees is just how thoroughly isolated Buffy is, and thus how especially vulnerable she is to his tactics.

1

[angearia]

Y'all did a wonderful job digging into all the different POVs here! It's such a dense scene from a character standpoint and you did it justice

2

[angearia]

But they remain at cross-purposes: Buffy want the Scoobies for emotional support, but where they want to support her/help her is in the fight. Buffy can save them, but they really want her to validate them as important.

And sometimes she does need help fighting (Graduation Day shows they reach that understanding), but yeah she really needs the emotional support. Their helping her fight is also compounded by her fear that they'll die in the fight. She already knows she's gonna die (again). She's trying to keep them from dying while allowing them to help. That gets monumentally harder if they're on the front lines. (I've always found it a bit unbelievable that the Core Four managed to survive all the way through, but hey fantasy show.)

If the mask is a metaphor for anger, then Pat is the sacrifice for their collective failure to manage their anger towards Buffy.

That's interesting.

Giles should have his own buried issues with Buffy. And we’ll want to track them going forward. This is kinda what I was getting at in comments

Re: 2

[local_max]

And sometimes she does need help fighting (Graduation Day shows they reach that understanding), but yeah she really needs the emotional support. Their helping her fight is also compounded by her fear that they'll die in the fight. She already knows she's gonna die (again). She's trying to keep them from dying while allowing them to help. That gets monumentally harder if they're on the front lines.

Yeah, it's true. I think it's hard for Buffy and Xander and Willow to all figure out what they most want and need from each other, which is what leads to a lot of problems. It's pretty good when they all feel important, like in the Graduation Day battle. But emotional support is what she needs from them most, a lot of the time, and they don't always pull through. Which, to be fair, is not always their fault; it's not just that Buffy doesn't always tell them what's happening, but they're also teenage kids who grew up with tiny, tiny social support structures that wouldn't teach them too many skills transferable to vampire slayers.

(I

Re: 1

[local_max]

I think there's real anger when she's talking with Xander--she really steps up the violent language with him. Not that he doesn't deserve the anger, or anything, but I read her as being vicious when she lingers on "Nighthawk," simultaneously reminding him that he's a loser, that his relationship with Cordelia is a joke, and that his attempts at slaying were pathetic. Bam. She doesn't lash out at Joyce or Willow in the same way, partly, I think, because they don't go at her. But there is some specific anger there, I think.

Did Buffy give up the right to be angry? The Scoobies certainly think so. I mean, I think in general people always have a "right" to feel what they feel. In terms of the right to express it...hm. I think running away and then coming back to express anger wouldn't be cool. I think expressing anger at the gang for deliberately shutting her out would be more fair.

Right, and on top of this is the reality that Buffy's life is not fully her own. The weight of the world rests on her shoulders. And Joyce can't

[local_max]

I like the fight episodes too!

I've seen a lot of comparisons between Xander and Willow with Harry Potter's friends, and how Harry Potter's friends are the "real friends". I haven't watched Harry Potter, so I can't judge. But Xander and Willow are real friends. They represent real life friends who have their own issues and flaws, they're written as real people and not just Buffy's friends. They're capable of being selfless and selfish, supportive and unsupportive, tender and harsh, and so on. Xander lashes out on Buffy like the jerk he is but once trouble crashes inside Buffy's house he's fighting by her side, complementing Buffy's moves in the end. Willow avoids Buffy all episode, but then notices she's missing and searches for her in her room to talk. They're not perfect, but that doesn't mean they're evil.

Word.

I loved the Xander and Willow sections in this review. I agree with a commenter above about Xander knowing that Buffy's problems are bigger than boyfriend troubles, but he acts this way to hurt Buffy. He'll do it

[angearia]

Anger is often a reaction to fear. You attack in anger that which you're afraid will attack you.

"This is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?"