Notes on Buffy 3.16: Doppelgangland

[2maggie2]

Standard disclaimer: I'll often speak of foreshadowing, but that doesn't mean I'm at all committing to the idea that there was some fixed design from the word go -- it's a short hand for talking about the resonances that end up in the text as it unspools.

Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS.

Comments

[ceciliaj]

And in Grave, once both her “better” (her connection to the world’s pain) and “worse” (her feeling her own pain) selves are again in agreement that the world is no fun, she’ll try to end it.

Ooooh, I love the way you put that. It's interesting -- Buffy is "one girl in all the world" who has to fight evil, but Willow, because she establishes her connection with the world intentionally and from scratch, ends up being the one who actually thinks on those terms. Suddenly, I'm thinking about that sunlight spell she was always "working on" in S5 -- when Willow thinks about the evil in the world, she believes that every element is subject to alteration according to a better model. And Willow repeatedly thinks that she's the one with that better model -- which leaves her less susceptible to the kind of exploitation Faith ends up undergoing with the mayor, but it leaves her more susceptible to a kind of constant loneliness in Willowsexuality. I should not be commenting so late at night, but there you have it. More tomorrow!

[local_max]

Hm, I think I see what you're getting at. I think one of the things this episode sets up is that Willow needs to reject "the rules" as they are, and she will end up doing so in almost every category, thinking she has a better model in each one. I actually think computer hacking is a great metaphor for all of this, too, which is (in part) about taking the code as is and then violating the spirit but not the letter of the code. So why not create sunlight and use that to fight vampires, if it's permissible by the universe's set up to do so? And, well, why not raise the dead in mthere is a way to do it. Buffy is a chronic rule-breaker in many respects, but she doesn't have to start from scratch the way Willow does and so there are some rules (both good and bad ones) that Buffy accepts. (There's probably a great essay to be written about the way Buffy and Willow's rulebreaking and resourcefulnesses contrast; my inkling is that you need both of them to get to the Chosen spell

[gabrielleabelle]

That’s what makes Willow become particularly resentful of her friends. Because they love the Willow they see, they see Willow’s desire to act out as being about her proving something, and something she doesn’t have to do. There is real pressure on her to stay the good Willow they see as being her true self - and a failure to understand why this self is so unsatisfying to Willow. Their love and approval for her, then, can only penetrate so deep.

*nods*

With even her computer hacking having been co-opted by Giles as another duty for her to perform, Willow’s only remaining outlet is magic. When Anya requests that Willow do a spell with her, a hint of Willow’s desire to be “bad” and to express her id comes out as she asks if the spell is dangerous. And so, in a rather tidy metaphor for her series’ arc, Willow’s doing a dangerous spell brings forth her suppressed evil side.

I think it's also interesting to note that Willow gets seriously freaked after actually doing the dangerous spell. She even lectures Anya about responsible

[local_max]

She's definitely freaked by the spell and what it opens up. And she's freaked by her dark side later on. I didn't draw the link explicitly, but I think that Willow's "Ooh, is it dangerous?" "Well, can we pretend it is?" is some in-episode setup for her playing at being Vamp!Willow later in the episode. They're for very different reasons, and Willow's attitude about both is different, but when she wants to do the dangerous spell, (this time) Willow is still basically good-girl Willow pretending to do dangerous, and not actually doing so. But as you point out -- eventually she will start really doing dangerous spells, and start getting more and more comfortable with them.

In the next season, we'll have Willow engaging in dangerous magic and getting lectures from Giles about responsible magic use, much like the lecture she gave to Anya.Definitely. Incidentally, one of the things I want to track is exactly how hard Giles tries with Willow. My feeling is that he makes some noise about her doing dangerous magic, but doesn't really

[pocochina]

before she loses her temper is to go get sugared up on mochas (just about the least objectionable form of mood-altering substance imaginable)

snerk. she probably gets decaf.

She hates her own meekness, which has always made her the subject of bullying

wow, you're right, there's a real element of self-blame here. Because she does blame herself, but, you know, the cause of bullying is bullies being d-bags. She certainly doesn't hold other people to that standard, even people she doesn't much care for - maybe she's in shock - but she does for herself. Whether that's a control issue (if she thinks she did something, she thinks she had the power to do it) or erring on the side of responsibility, I don't know, though those things certainly aren't mutually exclusive.

She is excited to see a friendly face in Xander, but crushed when she finds that he’s alive.

I hadn't thought about that; it is weird that she didn't just vamp him. She really takes no interest in solving her problems.

Buffy mentions that a vampire’s personality has

[local_max]

wow, you're right, there's a real element of self-blame here. Because she does blame herself, but, you know, the cause of bullying is bullies being d-bags. She certainly doesn't hold other people to that standard, even people she doesn't much care for - maybe she's in shock - but she does for herself. Whether that's a control issue (if she thinks she did something, she thinks she had the power to do it) or erring on the side of responsibility, I don't know, though those things certainly aren't mutually exclusive.Yeah. I mean, I think part of what we see is that people bullying her really is in great part about the way she is and not about the way other people are -- there's the joke early on where she is complaining about Snyder mistreating her, and then Giles does exactly the same thing. I didn't mention it, but I think there's a parallel too between Percy getting Willow to do his biography and, in a more minor sense, Xander asking her to tape Biography. Bullies are d-bags and that's a problem, but even people who aren't otherwise

[angearia]

re: vamp!Willow, desires, and boredom

[local_max]

Isn't that interesting? Willow herself will work incredibly hard, reading books for research hours on end, studying till her eyes droop and she can't study anymore, learning spells and experimenting again and again until she gets it right.

And it's not just about seeking power or defending herself -- yes, knowledge is power and that's a huge motivation for her in terms of acquiring status and ensuring her survival -- but there's also a quirky appreciation of factoids which she no doubt recognizes as useless, that wouldn't help save her life, that no one else cares about, yet she still finds pleasure in them. It's about the thrill of abstract discovery, I think (that rush of brilliance, that clarity); something she lacks as Vamp!Willow because it's all about sensation as id.

I think that's a wonderful way to put it. To a degree, knowledge is a kind of sensation -- I'm flashing forward to the amount of glee she has in The Freshman, including in the "spurty knowledge" monologue where her excitement actually crosses over into sexual

[ever_neutral]

Okay, first of all, apologies for how long it's taken me to get to this and comment.

Second of all:

[local_max]

CITIZEN KANE CLAP WHAT UP

... AND AGAIN. Wow. I did not even remember that. Dude. That is enormously sad.

And I think she's channeling her mother's style of discourse there too. :/

lol, when I read this, it struck me that Willow is like, the female version of a Nice Guy (TM) here. IDK. Thoughts?

Oh totally. Hm. I think part of the Nice Guy (TM) phenomenon is a sense of entitlement, which...I'm not sure Willow has, exactly. I don't think Willow actually thinks she deserves the guys, even Xander. What I *do* think is that Willow believes that entitlement based on niceness exists. If Buffy or Ampata catch Xander's eye, she hates it but they are good people and she can therefore conclude better than her. (I mean, it's not all the way; she resents Buffy's rulebreaking too, but it doesn't get conscious expression.) If Cordy or Anya or (lolololol) Faith do, she goes off the handle and does the ugh guys like bad girls slut-shaming thing. Because there are very few people she will actually genuinely decide she's being better than,

[ceciliaj]

If Cordy or Anya or (lolololol) Faith do, she goes off the handle and does the ugh guys like bad girls slut-shaming thing. Because there are very few people she will actually genuinely decide she's being better than, and the people who bully her and break all the rules are them (well, Cordy actually isn't a rulebreaker -- which is probably why it only takes an episode for Willow to turn around on Cordy between Innocence and Phases). Tho' Willow's rant to Xander about Cordelia is similar to Xander's to Anya about Spike in Entropy, without the, you know, attempting to kill anyone, so.

For real. I know some people have made some interesting arguments about Willow being "coded masculine" (despite being Not Large With The Butch), and I love that in the 'verse this comes with all the yuck of that.

[local_max]

For real. I know some people have made some interesting arguments about Willow being "coded masculine" (despite being Not Large With The Butch), and I love that in the 'verse this comes with all the yuck of that.Hm, I agree that Willow is coded masculine in some ways (especially later on in the series), but I'm not sure if I see her that way in the Innocence scene -- despite the comparison to Xander. Hm...how do I put this. I think the actual sentiment, that "people I'm attracted to go out with people worse than I am," is not all that gendered. The male coding is more, "they go out with jerks who treat them badly," and the female coding is more, "they go out with skanky hos" or sometimes bitches. (Personal anecdote: I had an ex girlfriend who maintained that guys always preferred going out with bitches who mistreated them, but was also critical of the Nice Guy phenomenon of guys claiming that girls like to go out with guys who mistreated them. Then again, I guess I could see my ex being described as male-coded if she were a

[zooeys_bridge]

This is two years late, but I was only just directed to this wonderful thread courtesy of local_max on another thread but I'm so glad he did because wow! Awesome meta and discussion.

"And indeed, as the series goes on Willow will become increasingly selfish while still painting a picture of herself (especially to herself) as helpless and good and stuttery.  She thinks she has her “bad” self locked deep down inside her, but that bad self can be allowed to steer her actions with the proper rationalizations."
Nail, meet hammer head. This is as nutshelly as it gets for Willow. So perfect, yes.

"Part of the reason they are all so blind to Willow’s dark side -- and also so blind to the fact that Willow’s face isn’t her sole/true face -- is that Willow being the dutiful one, bottom line, benefits them. -Boom, there it is. That difficult dichotomy has existed in the show and comics (I'm slowly catching up, having just finished 'Retreat' in S8) between needing what Willow can do and not wanting Willow to do what she can do. When their