(no subject)
Title: Leaving
Author:
slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: PG-13 for a lot of swearing
Pairing: Danny/Ryan
Disclaimer: As fake as..as me saying Danny is still a Sabre *loud sob*
Never fear, this isn't the actual end of me writing Ryan/Danny slash...it will only get more interesting from here, but first I wanna write a couple to express what I'd say to Danny if I were Ryan.
A nervous hand dialed a number so familiar, as the other nervous hand put the phone to his ear.
"H-hello?" The sound of sobs wrenched at his heart; he'd obviously already heard the news. Well, fuck, all you had to do to know the news was pick up a goddamn newspaper or log on to one of many sports sites. Knowing that this man checked the status of the situation regularly, it really wasn't a surprise he knew.
"Are you gonna speak or what? 'Cause I'm a bit fucking busy right now..." The sound of louder, more heartfelt sobs as the receiver of the call dissolved into helpless tears.
"Yeah, I'll speak," Danny said in a small voice. He heard the moment Ryan recognized his voice, the short intake of breath, the angry grit to his teeth, the fact that the sobs quieted a little.
"You have some nerve calling right now," said the goalie angrily, and Danny could hear the sound of him walking into another room so they could be alone.
"I'm sorry, love." And he was, oh how he was. He wished he could change his mind more than anything, for Ryan.
An angry and shocked gasp at his term of endearment. "I'm not your fucking love anymore, Danny. You gave that up when you decided to leave our team."
It hurt, he couldn't deny it, but he also deserved it. "Isn't there some way we could work this out?"
Ryan scoffed through another loud sob. "I don't fucking want to 'work this out'. I want you and all of you, well...as much as I can get without you leaving her." His tone was bitter; they'd had this argument many times before.
"Please, baby, I want to be with you, you must know that."
"Then stay, stay with me, stay here in Buffalo. You know they'll eventually offer you something bigger, just right now they'd rather keep the status quo with payroll and shit. Don't leave me to be without you."
The desperate, pleading tone in Ryan's voice tore at Danny. "I..I.."
"It shouldn't even be that much of a choice. You can get by with 5 mil, anybody could, same as you have for the past couple years. But, could you really get by without me?"
Danny was silent for too long, and Ryan started to cry again, more softly now. "I know I couldn't get by without you..."
"I-I guess I have to." It hurt him so badly to even say the words, as they both knew what they meant. It was over, no more stolen moments in the locker room after everyone was gone, no more midnight visits in hotel rooms on the road, no more comforting arms to dive into after a loss, no more of any of it.
Ryan's words were drowned out by his loud, from the gut sobs. "I guess you made your choice then. Now live with it."
He was ready to hang up. NO, he couldn't yet! He had to know. Tears ran down Danny's face but he was silent, biting his lip to hold the choking noises back. "I love you, Ryan. Whether you believe it or not, I'll always feel that way."
Ryan was nearly incomprehensible in his misery now. "Agh! Why'd-you-'ave-*sob- to - say- that! Now-I can't-fuckin'-*whimper*-'ate-you-you-bastard!"
Danny couldn't do it, he couldn't hide it. He let go of his swollen lip and let the sobs come, letting Ryan know how much this hurt him. "Just-just say it back and I'll hang up. You'll never have to hear from me again..."
Ryan stopped; he was silent for a long moment, and Danny started to panic, thinking he really had hung up on him. "Ryan? Are you there? Talk to me!"
Ryan gave a long, sad sigh, that made Danny wish he was there so he could hold him and make all this shit go away."I don't have to tell you for you to know I'll always love you, Danny. I've tried for fucking weeks since all this crap started happening, since this decision became so difficult for you, to stop, but I can't. I just can't. So despite the fact that it'll break my heart every single fucking time I see you after this, every time our teams play each other, every time I have to see you at the All Star Game or whatever, I'll love you, you can be sure that won't change."
Danny swallowed." I'm sorry, Ryan, I really am."
"I know, Danny, I know. But, like I said, you made your choice, now I'm the one, and you're the one who has to live with it. Goodbye."
Danny sniffed, wiping his face. "Bye, Ryan." He heard the dialtone and curled up in a ball on his bed, sobbing into his knees.
But as masochistic and moronic as it was, he needed to say goodbye, for real, in person. The next phone call was to arrange to go back to Buffalo for a final farewell.
******************************************************************************************
More coming soon as I stop bawling...comment? :)
Author:
slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: PG-13 for a lot of swearing
Pairing: Danny/Ryan
Disclaimer: As fake as..as me saying Danny is still a Sabre *loud sob*
Never fear, this isn't the actual end of me writing Ryan/Danny slash...it will only get more interesting from here, but first I wanna write a couple to express what I'd say to Danny if I were Ryan.
A nervous hand dialed a number so familiar, as the other nervous hand put the phone to his ear.
"H-hello?" The sound of sobs wrenched at his heart; he'd obviously already heard the news. Well, fuck, all you had to do to know the news was pick up a goddamn newspaper or log on to one of many sports sites. Knowing that this man checked the status of the situation regularly, it really wasn't a surprise he knew.
"Are you gonna speak or what? 'Cause I'm a bit fucking busy right now..." The sound of louder, more heartfelt sobs as the receiver of the call dissolved into helpless tears.
"Yeah, I'll speak," Danny said in a small voice. He heard the moment Ryan recognized his voice, the short intake of breath, the angry grit to his teeth, the fact that the sobs quieted a little.
"You have some nerve calling right now," said the goalie angrily, and Danny could hear the sound of him walking into another room so they could be alone.
"I'm sorry, love." And he was, oh how he was. He wished he could change his mind more than anything, for Ryan.
An angry and shocked gasp at his term of endearment. "I'm not your fucking love anymore, Danny. You gave that up when you decided to leave our team."
It hurt, he couldn't deny it, but he also deserved it. "Isn't there some way we could work this out?"
Ryan scoffed through another loud sob. "I don't fucking want to 'work this out'. I want you and all of you, well...as much as I can get without you leaving her." His tone was bitter; they'd had this argument many times before.
"Please, baby, I want to be with you, you must know that."
"Then stay, stay with me, stay here in Buffalo. You know they'll eventually offer you something bigger, just right now they'd rather keep the status quo with payroll and shit. Don't leave me to be without you."
The desperate, pleading tone in Ryan's voice tore at Danny. "I..I.."
"It shouldn't even be that much of a choice. You can get by with 5 mil, anybody could, same as you have for the past couple years. But, could you really get by without me?"
Danny was silent for too long, and Ryan started to cry again, more softly now. "I know I couldn't get by without you..."
"I-I guess I have to." It hurt him so badly to even say the words, as they both knew what they meant. It was over, no more stolen moments in the locker room after everyone was gone, no more midnight visits in hotel rooms on the road, no more comforting arms to dive into after a loss, no more of any of it.
Ryan's words were drowned out by his loud, from the gut sobs. "I guess you made your choice then. Now live with it."
He was ready to hang up. NO, he couldn't yet! He had to know. Tears ran down Danny's face but he was silent, biting his lip to hold the choking noises back. "I love you, Ryan. Whether you believe it or not, I'll always feel that way."
Ryan was nearly incomprehensible in his misery now. "Agh! Why'd-you-'ave-*sob- to - say- that! Now-I can't-fuckin'-*whimper*-'ate-you-you-bastard!"
Danny couldn't do it, he couldn't hide it. He let go of his swollen lip and let the sobs come, letting Ryan know how much this hurt him. "Just-just say it back and I'll hang up. You'll never have to hear from me again..."
Ryan stopped; he was silent for a long moment, and Danny started to panic, thinking he really had hung up on him. "Ryan? Are you there? Talk to me!"
Ryan gave a long, sad sigh, that made Danny wish he was there so he could hold him and make all this shit go away."I don't have to tell you for you to know I'll always love you, Danny. I've tried for fucking weeks since all this crap started happening, since this decision became so difficult for you, to stop, but I can't. I just can't. So despite the fact that it'll break my heart every single fucking time I see you after this, every time our teams play each other, every time I have to see you at the All Star Game or whatever, I'll love you, you can be sure that won't change."
Danny swallowed." I'm sorry, Ryan, I really am."
"I know, Danny, I know. But, like I said, you made your choice, now I'm the one, and you're the one who has to live with it. Goodbye."
Danny sniffed, wiping his face. "Bye, Ryan." He heard the dialtone and curled up in a ball on his bed, sobbing into his knees.
But as masochistic and moronic as it was, he needed to say goodbye, for real, in person. The next phone call was to arrange to go back to Buffalo for a final farewell.
******************************************************************************************
More coming soon as I stop bawling...comment? :)