Passion and Denial (Higurashi Kagome/Hiei (Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho) #24)
Fandom: InuYasha/Yu Yu Hakusho
Title: Passion and Denial
Author/Artist: yume_mori
Theme: 024. My heart is bleeding for you.
Pairing/Characters: Kagome/Hiei
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Sengoku Otogizoushi - InuYasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. InuYasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Viz Media, ShoPro Entertainment, and Shounen; while Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro, Shueisha, Viz Media, and Shounen. No profit or money of any kind is made from this fan-created crossover.
Summary: There was no denying it any longer. She had fallen for him and it was unacceptable in his eyes.
Cross-posted to: fanfiction.net; mediaminer.org
As the days began to grow longer, she found her health returning faster than she would have liked. Being sick allowed her to enjoy certain things that she never got to before. Her favorite thing to do was find reasons and ways to press up against him to feel more of his hard body. To Kagome, he was like a drug. One that she couldn’t get enough of and wanted more from.
However, she also knew that she was only getting away with all those extra touches because she was still feverish a bit. She also had a feeling he was using his higher body temperature to help break her fever faster, but it would be a necessary sacrifice. And she could always get sick again, if the need ever arose.
For now, though, she enjoyed every moment she spent with him. Not just because she could touch him, but also because she was managing to get him to speak more. They had had a few actual conversations about things other than training and her obvious humanity. She took it to mean their relationship was heading in the right direction. Perhaps her wish for something more with the temperamental demon hadn't been asking for too much.
For all intents and purposes, it seemed like they had an actual friendship. All of her poking and prodding and olive branches that she had extended toward him were finally paying off. While she knew so many people would shake their head at her and call her crazy for getting excited over actually talking to him, she knew they had no clue about who he was.
Though he wasn’t using her name, he also wasn’t calling her by any degrading ones either. Human, woman, idiot were all gone when he talked to her. He found other ways to acknowledge her, such as talking and looking at her whenever she spoke.
It was endearing.
And she loved every moment of it.
“Hiei?” she softly asked.
He turned from looking out her bedroom window to look at her. She loved that she somehow managed to earn enough respect in his eyes for him to look at her.
“I’ve wondered… When you look out at the night sky, just what are you looking for?”
The briefest hint of confusion flashed through his eyes before he turned back to the window. “What do you care? I hardly think you’d be able to comprehend the answer to your question.”
Kagome's smile was soft as she walked over to him. While his answer may have sounded cold, he didn’t use any direct insults which meant he was just trying to avoid the question. She learned that about him after so much time; whenever he didn’t want to answer a question, he tried to rile her up into an argument. Yet, she wasn’t falling for it this time.
“I think I might… Whenever I look out at the sky, especially the night sky, it helps me feel closer to all my friends. While there might be five-hundred years separating me from them, I know they’re sleeping under a sky much the same… Though they do have more stars.”
“You still miss them all, including the half-breed? You should stop dwelling in memories and live in your present before you become lost.”
She nodded her head and sighed, “I don’t see why you always have to call Inuyasha a half-breed. It’s not like he had any choice about his parents, that’s why it’s wrong for you to call him such things!”
“Choice doesn’t matter. A half-breed should be called a half-breed.”
“You talk as if you have experience,” she rolled her eyes, and dropped it there. She didn’t know about his past, nor did she want to. If he wanted to talk about it, then she would be willing to listen. “But it doesn’t matter… That word’s demeaning! Though it is better than hanyou.”
He didn’t answer her this time, and there was really nothing more they could say about the matter. A small sigh escaped her as she moved closer to the window, and him. Hiei was a nice change from the demons she was used to being around as he didn’t talk too much. While Inuyasha and Kouga could go on and on, and Shippou as well, Hiei kept his words and conversations brief and to the point. He wasn't one to waste or mince words.
She leaned against the windowsill, looking up at the glimpses of the night sky she could see through the branches of Goshinboku. “When you said earlier that I’ll become lost if I linger in my memories too much… I have to disagree. If I tried to move on as if they didn’t exist, then I would become lost. My time in the feudal era and with my friends is a part of my past and who I am. To move on and pretend like it didn’t exist would cause me to lose a part of myself and who I am.
“A person can only live in their present and plan for their future when they’ve accepted and embraced their past. I’m finally able to come to terms with the fact I may never get to live out another adventure or another moment in the past, but I don’t wallow in my sorrow over it either. I have you to thank for that!”
Kagome smiled brightly over at Hiei, catching him off-guard with her sincerity. She truly believed her words. He managed to find her and save her from herself during those first few tough months. And it was as close to revealing how she really felt towards him she would get until he made the next move. To say more would leave her with a bleeding heart because she had no doubt his harsh words about her attachment to him would cut into it.
He turned away again and made a noise of apparent agreement. “It seems you were right for once, and would understand the answer.”
His answer left her wondering. It seemed as if her question had already been answered, and she wasn't sure if he didn’t answer. She had no idea what his answer was, but she still smiled. Though she wanted to ask, she didn’t want to ruin the moment they had together at that moment.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and was, once again, struck by a familiar urge. This might be her last chance to make the move she wanted to and not have to worry about him killing her. She learned fast that he had something against hurting human women while they were sick and out of their right mind. While she knew his senses were heightened, she hoped enough of her cold still lingered so she could blame the action she was about to do completely on it. If she didn’t have the excuse, there was no way she would have the courage to do what she was going to. Absolutely no way.
“Hiei,” she whispered out his name.
Just like always, he turned his head to stare at her with those impossibly deep carmine eyes. While she didn’t know how he felt about her because the walls surrounding him were far too thick for her to slip in, she knew how she was beginning to feel for him. Perhaps in time, she would come to know how he felt for her or that he felt anything for her. But at the moment, she knew she would never forgive herself if she didn’t try making the first big step.
Swallowing back her fear and telling herself that there was no way he would hurt her, or worse, for this, she placed her hand on his shoulder. She watched as his eyes glanced down at her hand before coming back up to her face.
“Saying someone’s name does not give you-…”
She didn’t let him finish his sentence as her lips covered his to keep him from finishing another one of his scathing comments. As much as she was starting to cherish that side of him, she didn’t want to hear it at the moment. She just wanted to feel his lips against hers.
He went shock-still underneath her hands and lips. It was hard for him to believe that she was willingly kissing him after spending so much time together. At the same time, he knew he couldn’t be surprised. It was no secret to either of them how much she was falling for him. That was the only unacceptable thing about their ‘relationship.’ But he couldn’t find it in himself to push her away and keep her at an arm’s length. He loved the feeling of knowing someone cared about him in that way. It was the first time he ever experienced that -- having someone who cared because they wanted to and with no ulterior motive. Unselfish feelings that she held in abudance were emotions he had no experience with and that made him wary.
His teammates and so-called friends didn’t count. That was an entirely different feeling, one that was purely comradely. They counted on each other to watch the other’s back, and to come out of a fight alive. But this… What Kagome felt towards him was completely different. She cared just because. She looked for him because she was worried for him. She went out of her way to make him feel better about things because she wanted to.
He had done nothing in his life to deserve her or her affection, and that made him want it all the more.
But it was a want he would not indulge in. Not now, possibly not ever.
Hiei pushed her away from him, and back onto her bed. Without looking at her, he took up his normal spot on her windowsill. He knew if he looked at her, he would see the hurt in her eyes, and he couldn’t deal with that look. Not after what she just did that sent him off-balance even more than touching her did.
Kagome swallowed the tears she wanted to cry, and crawled into her bed. She knew then that she pushed it too far and felt horrible. Her voice was a whisper as she apologized and said “Goodnight” to him.
He could ignore his own growing feelings, but there was no way she would ignore hers. The incident that took place only minutes ago proved that. Now he had one more thing to desire, the feeling of her lips, and he was sure that desire would be the hardest to ignore. Damn insufferable woman just had to act on her desires.
Hiei wished he had just gone with his first plan and not arrived tonight. But no, he just couldn’t bring himself to disappear on her for a couple of weeks without as much as a goodbye. She was making him far too soft. It was her fault he could no longer be himself and just leave. She made him become attached which put him in the situation he was now in.
That caused anger to fill him. How dare she work her inane eccentricities over him rendering him unable to do away with her and the feelings he didn’t want to feel. He should just leave and never come back!
Yet he couldn’t. Even as he held onto the latch of her half-opened window, he couldn’t bring himself to leave and never look back. Who knew what sort of crazy things she would do in his absence in an attempt to find him. He turned his head to the side, staring at her peaceful sleeping form as much as he could.
Could he really go away for two weeks for the sake of his teammates?
“Try to keep out of trouble for a couple of weeks,” he told her almost-sleeping form before leaving. His friends did need him more than she did at the moment.
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Title: Passion and Denial
Author/Artist: yume_mori
Theme: 024. My heart is bleeding for you.
Pairing/Characters: Kagome/Hiei
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Sengoku Otogizoushi - InuYasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. InuYasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Viz Media, ShoPro Entertainment, and Shounen; while Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro, Shueisha, Viz Media, and Shounen. No profit or money of any kind is made from this fan-created crossover.
Summary: There was no denying it any longer. She had fallen for him and it was unacceptable in his eyes.
Cross-posted to: fanfiction.net; mediaminer.org
As the days began to grow longer, she found her health returning faster than she would have liked. Being sick allowed her to enjoy certain things that she never got to before. Her favorite thing to do was find reasons and ways to press up against him to feel more of his hard body. To Kagome, he was like a drug. One that she couldn’t get enough of and wanted more from.
However, she also knew that she was only getting away with all those extra touches because she was still feverish a bit. She also had a feeling he was using his higher body temperature to help break her fever faster, but it would be a necessary sacrifice. And she could always get sick again, if the need ever arose.
For now, though, she enjoyed every moment she spent with him. Not just because she could touch him, but also because she was managing to get him to speak more. They had had a few actual conversations about things other than training and her obvious humanity. She took it to mean their relationship was heading in the right direction. Perhaps her wish for something more with the temperamental demon hadn't been asking for too much.
For all intents and purposes, it seemed like they had an actual friendship. All of her poking and prodding and olive branches that she had extended toward him were finally paying off. While she knew so many people would shake their head at her and call her crazy for getting excited over actually talking to him, she knew they had no clue about who he was.
Though he wasn’t using her name, he also wasn’t calling her by any degrading ones either. Human, woman, idiot were all gone when he talked to her. He found other ways to acknowledge her, such as talking and looking at her whenever she spoke.
It was endearing.
And she loved every moment of it.
“Hiei?” she softly asked.
He turned from looking out her bedroom window to look at her. She loved that she somehow managed to earn enough respect in his eyes for him to look at her.
“I’ve wondered… When you look out at the night sky, just what are you looking for?”
The briefest hint of confusion flashed through his eyes before he turned back to the window. “What do you care? I hardly think you’d be able to comprehend the answer to your question.”
Kagome's smile was soft as she walked over to him. While his answer may have sounded cold, he didn’t use any direct insults which meant he was just trying to avoid the question. She learned that about him after so much time; whenever he didn’t want to answer a question, he tried to rile her up into an argument. Yet, she wasn’t falling for it this time.
“I think I might… Whenever I look out at the sky, especially the night sky, it helps me feel closer to all my friends. While there might be five-hundred years separating me from them, I know they’re sleeping under a sky much the same… Though they do have more stars.”
“You still miss them all, including the half-breed? You should stop dwelling in memories and live in your present before you become lost.”
She nodded her head and sighed, “I don’t see why you always have to call Inuyasha a half-breed. It’s not like he had any choice about his parents, that’s why it’s wrong for you to call him such things!”
“Choice doesn’t matter. A half-breed should be called a half-breed.”
“You talk as if you have experience,” she rolled her eyes, and dropped it there. She didn’t know about his past, nor did she want to. If he wanted to talk about it, then she would be willing to listen. “But it doesn’t matter… That word’s demeaning! Though it is better than hanyou.”
He didn’t answer her this time, and there was really nothing more they could say about the matter. A small sigh escaped her as she moved closer to the window, and him. Hiei was a nice change from the demons she was used to being around as he didn’t talk too much. While Inuyasha and Kouga could go on and on, and Shippou as well, Hiei kept his words and conversations brief and to the point. He wasn't one to waste or mince words.
She leaned against the windowsill, looking up at the glimpses of the night sky she could see through the branches of Goshinboku. “When you said earlier that I’ll become lost if I linger in my memories too much… I have to disagree. If I tried to move on as if they didn’t exist, then I would become lost. My time in the feudal era and with my friends is a part of my past and who I am. To move on and pretend like it didn’t exist would cause me to lose a part of myself and who I am.
“A person can only live in their present and plan for their future when they’ve accepted and embraced their past. I’m finally able to come to terms with the fact I may never get to live out another adventure or another moment in the past, but I don’t wallow in my sorrow over it either. I have you to thank for that!”
Kagome smiled brightly over at Hiei, catching him off-guard with her sincerity. She truly believed her words. He managed to find her and save her from herself during those first few tough months. And it was as close to revealing how she really felt towards him she would get until he made the next move. To say more would leave her with a bleeding heart because she had no doubt his harsh words about her attachment to him would cut into it.
He turned away again and made a noise of apparent agreement. “It seems you were right for once, and would understand the answer.”
His answer left her wondering. It seemed as if her question had already been answered, and she wasn't sure if he didn’t answer. She had no idea what his answer was, but she still smiled. Though she wanted to ask, she didn’t want to ruin the moment they had together at that moment.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and was, once again, struck by a familiar urge. This might be her last chance to make the move she wanted to and not have to worry about him killing her. She learned fast that he had something against hurting human women while they were sick and out of their right mind. While she knew his senses were heightened, she hoped enough of her cold still lingered so she could blame the action she was about to do completely on it. If she didn’t have the excuse, there was no way she would have the courage to do what she was going to. Absolutely no way.
“Hiei,” she whispered out his name.
Just like always, he turned his head to stare at her with those impossibly deep carmine eyes. While she didn’t know how he felt about her because the walls surrounding him were far too thick for her to slip in, she knew how she was beginning to feel for him. Perhaps in time, she would come to know how he felt for her or that he felt anything for her. But at the moment, she knew she would never forgive herself if she didn’t try making the first big step.
Swallowing back her fear and telling herself that there was no way he would hurt her, or worse, for this, she placed her hand on his shoulder. She watched as his eyes glanced down at her hand before coming back up to her face.
“Saying someone’s name does not give you-…”
She didn’t let him finish his sentence as her lips covered his to keep him from finishing another one of his scathing comments. As much as she was starting to cherish that side of him, she didn’t want to hear it at the moment. She just wanted to feel his lips against hers.
He went shock-still underneath her hands and lips. It was hard for him to believe that she was willingly kissing him after spending so much time together. At the same time, he knew he couldn’t be surprised. It was no secret to either of them how much she was falling for him. That was the only unacceptable thing about their ‘relationship.’ But he couldn’t find it in himself to push her away and keep her at an arm’s length. He loved the feeling of knowing someone cared about him in that way. It was the first time he ever experienced that -- having someone who cared because they wanted to and with no ulterior motive. Unselfish feelings that she held in abudance were emotions he had no experience with and that made him wary.
His teammates and so-called friends didn’t count. That was an entirely different feeling, one that was purely comradely. They counted on each other to watch the other’s back, and to come out of a fight alive. But this… What Kagome felt towards him was completely different. She cared just because. She looked for him because she was worried for him. She went out of her way to make him feel better about things because she wanted to.
He had done nothing in his life to deserve her or her affection, and that made him want it all the more.
But it was a want he would not indulge in. Not now, possibly not ever.
Hiei pushed her away from him, and back onto her bed. Without looking at her, he took up his normal spot on her windowsill. He knew if he looked at her, he would see the hurt in her eyes, and he couldn’t deal with that look. Not after what she just did that sent him off-balance even more than touching her did.
Kagome swallowed the tears she wanted to cry, and crawled into her bed. She knew then that she pushed it too far and felt horrible. Her voice was a whisper as she apologized and said “Goodnight” to him.
He could ignore his own growing feelings, but there was no way she would ignore hers. The incident that took place only minutes ago proved that. Now he had one more thing to desire, the feeling of her lips, and he was sure that desire would be the hardest to ignore. Damn insufferable woman just had to act on her desires.
Hiei wished he had just gone with his first plan and not arrived tonight. But no, he just couldn’t bring himself to disappear on her for a couple of weeks without as much as a goodbye. She was making him far too soft. It was her fault he could no longer be himself and just leave. She made him become attached which put him in the situation he was now in.
That caused anger to fill him. How dare she work her inane eccentricities over him rendering him unable to do away with her and the feelings he didn’t want to feel. He should just leave and never come back!
Yet he couldn’t. Even as he held onto the latch of her half-opened window, he couldn’t bring himself to leave and never look back. Who knew what sort of crazy things she would do in his absence in an attempt to find him. He turned his head to the side, staring at her peaceful sleeping form as much as he could.
Could he really go away for two weeks for the sake of his teammates?
“Try to keep out of trouble for a couple of weeks,” he told her almost-sleeping form before leaving. His friends did need him more than she did at the moment.
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