Other people have made this point better than me, but here it is again...
Title: Birthday Gifts
Theme: Set #3 - Hook
Claim: Zoro
Words: 3543
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: I don't own One Piece.
Warnings: Zoro/Nami, a little more pronounced than in the ones before. Also, sort of assumes you know what happened in the Old Nemesis arc (the one with Silvertongue).
Acknowledgments: Thanks to zelda_addict for beta-ing this, and suggesting Nami's negative thought about Zoro.
Things were quiet in the Slogtown Bounty Collection Office, though this hardly constituted news to the residents of Slogtown. Things were always quiet at the bounty collection office, and not for the lack of potential bounties either, for Slogtown often saw pirate ships docking in its harbour, and this far into the Grand Line, the pirates who did survive to reach the island invariably had bounties that went through the roof.
The quiet in the Bounty Collection Office was uncharitably but accurately attributed to Bunion and Carbuncle, the two unfortunates employed by Worldwide Bounties to man the office in what was probably the worst hiring decision in the world, after Blackbeard's appointment as a Royal Shichibukai. Not that the townspeople considered them unfortunate, seeing as they were paid to sit around and wait for bounty hunters to show up at their doorstep, and had been doing so for the past ten years.
The problem was that bounty hunters simply didn't come to Slogtown. This was partly an accident of geography - Log Poses set quickly on this island, and pirates usually set off once they'd restocked their supplies and had their fill of liquor, leaving only a tiny window for bounty hunters to act. The other reason was that once, a very long time ago, Bunion and Carbuncle had bungled the transfer of a 100 million beli prisoner, resulting in a very disgruntled Marine crew, a very disgruntled company, and a very disgruntled and unfortunately very talkative bounty hunter. Miraculously, they hadn't been terminated instantly, but had been allowed to keep their positions.
Until now.
"...You have two weeks to correct the situation before the Slogtown branch of Worldwide Bounties is permanently closed down. Signed, etcetera etcetera," Carbuncle read gloomily.
"What do they expect us to do?" Bunion asked bitterly. "We can't help it if there aren't any bounty hunters to bring in a bounty!"
"Go out and catch a bounty ourselves?" Carbuncle suggested.
"My dear Carbuncle, you know as well as I do that it's not our job to actually go after bounties. Bounty hunters are a touchy lot, they'd be damn annoyed if we trespassed in their province. No, our job is to arrange for the transfer of the bounties to the Marines, and for payment to be made to the bounty hunter - with a healthy cut going to the company, of course."
"But you just said, there aren't any bounty hunters here to get touchy with us anyway," Carbuncle pointed out in his lugubrious voice.
"I suppose that's true," Bunion conceded. "Well, I guess we can give your plan a try. Any bounties in town right now?"
"The Strawhat Pirates sailed in an hour ago," Carbuncle said, nodding towards the open window overlooking the harbour.
Bunion jumped to his feet, wincing at the unaccustomed activity. He slammed his hands on the desk. "The Strawhat Pirates? THE Strawhat Pirates? The ones who took down Enies Lobby?"
"Yes, the Strawhat Pirates. Combined bounty - seven hundred million and fifty beli. Their captain alone is worth 300 million," Carbuncle reported, flipping through a file of bounty posters.
"Let me see that," Bunion snapped, snatching the file. "Strawhat Luffy, 300 million... Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro, 120 million... Demon Child Nico Robin, 80 million... they must be impossibly strong! Not a single one under 10 million!"
"Their pet's worth 50 beli," Carbuncle supplied helpfully.
"Oh, great, and I suppose you think the company will grant us a reprieve if we turn in a 50-beli bounty," Bunion said sarcastically. He slammed the file down on the table and slumped into his chair in a posture of despair. "Let's face it, Carbuncle, we're done for."
His statement was punctuated by a timid knock on the door. "Um, excuse me?" an unfamiliar voice said.
"We're closed! Forever!" Bunion declared dramatically.
"Oh? Er, that's too bad. I guess I'll just look for another bounty office then..."
"Wait! You brought a bounty?" Both men bolted upright, and their jaws dropped in unison as they swung to the imposing figure at the front door, carrying a limp figure under its arm. "That's not..."
"It can't be..."
"Pirate Hunter Zoro?" they chorused, their eyes bulging out.
"Dead or alive?" Carbuncle added.
"Alive, just barely." The bounty hunter tossed his green-haired prey onto the floor of the office. "Um, can we get started on the paperwork? I'm in a hurry. I'll be expecting the usual advance, of course."
"Of-of-of course! I'll just lock him up first!" Carbuncle hurried forward.
"Good thing you knocked him unconscious, sir. I hear he's a real tough cookie," Bunion said, rubbing his hands in glee as he watched their prisoner get locked up in the cage in the corner of the office. He couldn't believe their luck. Roronoa Zoro. The infamous, bloodthirsty Pirate Hunter. 120 million beli, of which five percent would go to Worldwide Bounties as a processing fee. The company certainly couldn't complain about that!
He went over to a very dusty filing cabinet and rummaged about for the appropriate form. "Now, what name should I put down, sir?" he asked, picking up a pen and looking up expectantly at the pink-hatted bounty hunter.
"Um...you can call me Mr. Prince!"
"Where the devil have those two got to? I know the marimo's probably lost, but Chopper usually gets back on time," Sanji fretted. "They're late for Nami-san's birthday party!"
"Maybe there's been some super big trouble in town," Franky speculated, looking towards the sleepy rows of houses.
"You don't have to worry, Sanji. Zoro and Chopper know how to take care of themselves," Luffy grinned, clapping his feet together idly.
"I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about Nami-san's birthday cake! It's going to start melting if they don't get back in the next half-hour."
"Nami doesn't look too happy about the delay either," Usopp said worriedly, looking around furtively at the black-faced navigator.
Sanji began muttering something about inconsiderate green-haired bastards under his breath.
"I'm sure they have a good reason for being late," Brook said soothingly.
"If Cook-san and Nami-chan let them live long enough to explain it to us," Robin said cheerfully.
"Zoro, slow down, I need to treat that wound!" Chopper said for the tenth time as he clung for dear life to Zoro's neck.
"It's fine, Chopper," Zoro insisted. "You can treat it when we're back at the ship. Are we still headed the right way?"
Chopper took a peek around. "Yeah, I think so. But don't forget, I have to stop in that navigation equipment shop."
"Where's that?"
"Next right. No, Zoro, I said RIGHT!"
Zoro made an abrupt about-face and jogged in the correct direction. "This the shop?"
"Yeah." Chopper breathed a sigh of relief as he was let down. "I won't be a minute, Zoro. I know exactly what I want to get Nami."
"Okay, but hurry up."
Chopper raised an eyebrow at the swordsman's unusual behaviour. Zoro could be intense at times, but about anything other than battles and training he was usually pretty laidback. He certainly wasn't the sort to get antsy over being late for a party. Chopper ran into the shop anyway, and completed the transaction as quickly as he could. He came out to find Zoro poking at his wound.
"Argh! What are you doing? You might get that infected!"
"Eh, it's no big deal," Zoro shrugged. "You ready?"
"Whoaaaaaa," Chopper wailed as he got hoisted up again. Usually he enjoyed the piggyback rides he got from Zoro, but not when the ride was this bumpy. "Zoro, you're going to open up that wound if you move around too much!"
"It's just a scratch! Don't make such a fuss, Chopper," the swordsman said impatiently.
"Yeah, but what if it does get infected and you die? I'll feel terrible forever for messing up the plan!" Chopper said plaintively.
Was Chopper taking lessons from Nami about how to guilt-trip him, now? Zoro slowed to a halt and conceded defeat. "Fine, you can treat it. But it wouldn't be your fault even if something did happen. You didn't know that cage was going to be made of seastone."
"I should've been able to do something when that one guy attacked you, though," Chopper said apologetically, as he dabbed some antiseptic ointment from his backpack on Zoro's stomach wound.
"That's okay, you were busy dealing with the other guy," Zoro said dismissively. He decided it was best to remain vague, rather than remind Chopper that that was the one yelling, "50-beli bounty!" Chopper had made it pretty clear back then that he'd considered that a very rude remark.
"It was pretty cool when you just grabbed your guy through the bars and headbutted him, though!" Chopper said. "Although, that was when he managed to stab you..." He frowned at the blood staining his cloth.
"Eh, I've had worse," Zoro said dismissively.
Chopper certainly had to concede that. He got out his gauze and began covering up the wound. "They were pretty scared of you when we finally managed to unlock that cage, though," he giggled. "I don't know why, it's not like you're scary at all."
Zoro smiled fondly at the reindeer. "Yeah, I dunno either."
"But the coolest part was when you inspired them to become pirates!"
"I wouldn't really call that 'inspiring'," Zoro muttered. They'd wailed and pleaded for the chance to turn in at least one of them, asking what else two former bounty hunters were supposed to do with their lives - and they'd seized on the example right in front of them, of the world's most famous bounty hunter-turned-pirate. Personally, Zoro didn't think those two blisters on the landscape of bounty hunters would survive a week as pirates on the Grand Line, but Chopper probably didn't need to know that. He glanced down as Chopper finished taping the gauze to his skin.
"Done now, Chopper?"
"Yup." Chopper stashed his medical supplies away in his backpack, only to be snatched up by an arm and placed on Zoro's back again. "Waaaaaaaaaah! Zorooooooooo! Too faaaaaaaaast!"
Zoro glanced at the setting sun and put on another spurt of speed. He'd have to run like crazy if they were going to be allowed to live long enough to see Nami's birthday party through to its end.
It was well past midnight when the others wilted from a combination of too much food, too much alcohol, too much singing and too much laughter. Nami surveyed the confetti-littered deck and gave a shiver. "Wow, it's getting pretty cold," she remarked, reaching for another bottle of sake, only to have her hand intercepted by Zoro.
"Drinking contest's over," he said firmly.
"What, too much for you already?" Nami teased.
"Yeah, I'll let you win this time, seeing as it's your birthday," Zoro conceded defeat. Though it was true that any more and he'd be running the risk of actually getting drunk, and he was too good a swordsman - or perhaps simply too proud a man - to lose control in that way.
Nami stuck out her tongue at him. "You're just making excuses. Pass that bottle over - hey!" she protested, as Zoro moved the crate well beyond her reach. "How am I going to keep warm otherwise?"
"There are other sources of warmth besides alcohol, you know." Her eyes widened as Zoro settled down beside her, only to be obscured a moment later when a heavy cloth draped itself over her head. "Here. Brought you a blanket."
Nami made a face, but she accepted the blanket and wrapped it snugly around herself. "All right. Did you put everyone else to bed?"
"Yeah, except Robin - not sure where she disappeared off to."
"Robin never gets drunk, I'm sure." Nami leaned back against the side of the ship and looked up at the stars. "That was a really great birthday," she sighed. "The best since - since -" she frowned as a dark memory returned to her mind.
Zoro glanced at her, wary of the tears he could hear in her voice. "Your birthday's not over yet," he said gruffly. "I haven't given you my present."
"You got me a present?"
"Yeah. I think you'll like it. Here." He dug out a wad of beli from his pocket and pushed it into her hands. "You said I owed you seven hundred thousand beli, didn't you? Though how it got up to that much I really don't know."
Nami stared for a moment at the stack of beli, her fingers automatically flipping through the bills. "How'd you get this? Is this why you were late back?"
"Earned it," Zoro said shortly.
"Yeah, earned it HOW?" Nami asked testily.
"What does it matter?" Zoro shrugged. "Money's money."
"You didn't steal it, did you?"
"What's with that shocked voice? You're a thief!" Zoro shot back. "And for the record, I didn't steal anything."
"Then..." Nami searched her memory for some evidence of entrepreneurial activity on Zoro's part, and found that she had to go way back to before the crew got together. Not that doing a spot of bounty hunting just to get some cash to feed himself when he was on the verge of starvation really counted as being entrepreneurial, in her opinion.
"Did you turn in a bounty or something?"
"Um...close to that," Zoro admitted.
"And the bounty collection office didn't recognise you as a bounty?" she asked in surprise. She'd always thought the green hair would be an instant giveaway.
"They...kinda did...?" Zoro let out through gritted teeth.
"But they still gave you the money anyway?" Nami pressed.
"Not really..."
"So you did steal it!" Nami deduced.
"Aaaaaaaargh! Stop being so damn inquisitive, woman!" Zoro yelled in frustration.
"I'm not accepting this until you tell me how you got it," Nami said, folding her arms, the bills still tightly clutched in a fist.
"Okay then, just give it back." Zoro reached for the stack of notes, only to have his hand swatted away.
"No!"
"Then you've accepted it!" Zoro argued.
"I'm counting this as a contribution to the crew's funds, not as a birthday present."
"NAMI!"
He half-expected her to punch him into submission, but instead she put on a wide-eyed, puppy-dog expression. "Please, Zoro? It is my birthday," she wheedled.
Zoro sighed at her use of Chopper's look-too-cute-to-be-refused gambit. Apparently the whole crew was trading how-to-coerce-a-swordsman strategies now. "Fine. I was the bounty, okay? I got Chopper to turn me in, then help me escape." Nami's jaw dropped, and she suddenly gave him a cuff on the ear. "Ow!" he protested.
"What kind of an idiot are you? You could've been killed!" she scolded.
"What d'you take me for, some kind of weakling?" Zoro barked back, rubbing his ear. "I could handle those sorry excuses for bounty hunters any day. Besides, we had a plan."
"Well, obviously, not everything went to plan, since you managed to get yourself injured," she said, jabbing a finger into the bandage to prove her point, and he sucked in his breath hastily to keep from crying out.
"Oi! Stop that!" he hissed.
"And why Chopper, of all people? What about Sanji-kun?"
"Are you kidding me? The shit cook looks just like his bounty poster, he'd have been recognised immediately."
"And Chopper looks completely different in Heavy Point," Nami conceded. "But still, how could you force poor Chopper to do a thing like that!"
"Ow! Stop poking that! I didn't force him to do anything. He wanted to get the money to buy you that book anyway, so he was more than willing. Besides, Chopper's stronger than you think."
"It doesn't matter how strong he is, he shouldn't have had to take so many risks just to get me a birthday present, and neither should you!"
"Oh, now money suddenly isn't so important? Look, I owed you money, so I got you money," Zoro said stubbornly. "I had a debt, and I repaid it."
"The debt wasn't there so you would repay it!"
Zoro stopped short in his retort, confused. "A debt's a debt. What else are you supposed to do with it?"
"The debt is there, so you'll have something tying you back to us, so you don't go getting yourself killed!" Nami snapped.
There was a tense silence, before Nami realised what she'd just blurted out.
"I didn't just say that out loud, did I?" she groaned.
"Er, yeah. Unless it was the alcohol talking."
"Argh." Nami buried her face in her arms, while Zoro's brow furrowed in thought.
"When you say 'tying you back to us', d'you mean..."
"I don't want to hear it!" Nami sang, covering her ears as her cheeks flushed pink.
"What? It's not a big deal that you said it," Zoro shrugged. "It's not the first unexpected revelation you've made recently."
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Nami trawled through her memories again. "Wait, you don't mean - when Silvertongue had us under his spell?"
"Your most negative thought about me was kinda...surprising," Zoro said, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, I figured it would be about how much money I owed you, or how you always need to threaten me with that damned debt to get me to do stuff, unlike the ero-cook, but..."
"Oh no, what did I say?" Nami asked, scrunching her face up like she really didn't want to hear the answer.
"That it was really annoying that I never, um, paid any attention to your, um, feminine charms." Zoro turned a brilliant shade of scarlet, very deliberately averting his eyes from the more obvious manifestations of Nami's femininity.
"Nooooo! I can't believe I actually said that," Nami moaned, collapsing onto the deck. "Stupid Silvertongue and his Devil's Fruit! I almost want to get him back here so I can kick his ass all over again!"
Zoro's jaw dropped. "What, you mean it's true? That's what you really think?"
"Well, I..." Nami suddenly paused, then sat herself upright and looked squarely at Zoro. "Wait a minute. If I'd really said that back then, then you would know it was true, wouldn't you?"
"Oops..." Zoro desperately wished he was anywhere but facing the wrath of a navigator who was too clever by half.
"Which means that you just made that up? And I fell for it?"
"I...um..."
It didn't take too many of Nami's trademark punches to reduce the swordsman to a state of abject apology - or as close to abject apology as Zoro ever got.
"Geez woman, enough already! I'm sorry, okay?"
"I can't believe you thought you could get away with that! Talk about ruining a birthday!" she huffed.
"But you did like the present, right?" Zoro asked hopefully.
Nami relented a little. "Yeah, it was pretty good as presents go. Bellemere-san always used to give me a bit of pocket money on my birthday, it kinda reminds me of that."
"Good," Zoro sighed in relief. "So, that's settles it for the debt, right?"
"What d'you mean by that?" Nami's eyes narrowed.
"I mean, I paid it off, right? It's done?"
"Done? What made you think that? You happen to owe me 10 million beli." Nami poked a finger into Zoro's bandage.
"Ten million beli?" Zoro squawked. "What for?"
"A fine. For trying to fool me with that lame negative thought."
"Oh, great," Zoro grumbled. Thanks a lot, Robin! But he knew that if it hadn't been that, it would've been something else. He was a fish on a hook, unable to wriggle off - but oddly enough, Zoro didn't mind as much as he should have, if that line kept him tethered to her and the crew.
"And, you're not allowed to turn yourself in for a bounty ever again. Got it?" she said sternly.
Zoro sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I got it." There was a pause, before he ventured, "Can I turn in the shit cook then?"
"NO!"
"How am I supposed to ever pay you back, then?" Zoro pouted, jutting out his lower lip like a little boy.
Nami smiled, and leaned in closer to him, so close that his earrings tinkled as her lips brushed up against them, noting with satisfaction the reddening of his cheeks. "Let me give you a clue."
Time to test Zoro's newfound awareness of her feminine charms.
Theme: Set #3 - Hook
Claim: Zoro
Words: 3543
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: I don't own One Piece.
Warnings: Zoro/Nami, a little more pronounced than in the ones before. Also, sort of assumes you know what happened in the Old Nemesis arc (the one with Silvertongue).
Acknowledgments: Thanks to zelda_addict for beta-ing this, and suggesting Nami's negative thought about Zoro.
Things were quiet in the Slogtown Bounty Collection Office, though this hardly constituted news to the residents of Slogtown. Things were always quiet at the bounty collection office, and not for the lack of potential bounties either, for Slogtown often saw pirate ships docking in its harbour, and this far into the Grand Line, the pirates who did survive to reach the island invariably had bounties that went through the roof.
The quiet in the Bounty Collection Office was uncharitably but accurately attributed to Bunion and Carbuncle, the two unfortunates employed by Worldwide Bounties to man the office in what was probably the worst hiring decision in the world, after Blackbeard's appointment as a Royal Shichibukai. Not that the townspeople considered them unfortunate, seeing as they were paid to sit around and wait for bounty hunters to show up at their doorstep, and had been doing so for the past ten years.
The problem was that bounty hunters simply didn't come to Slogtown. This was partly an accident of geography - Log Poses set quickly on this island, and pirates usually set off once they'd restocked their supplies and had their fill of liquor, leaving only a tiny window for bounty hunters to act. The other reason was that once, a very long time ago, Bunion and Carbuncle had bungled the transfer of a 100 million beli prisoner, resulting in a very disgruntled Marine crew, a very disgruntled company, and a very disgruntled and unfortunately very talkative bounty hunter. Miraculously, they hadn't been terminated instantly, but had been allowed to keep their positions.
Until now.
"...You have two weeks to correct the situation before the Slogtown branch of Worldwide Bounties is permanently closed down. Signed, etcetera etcetera," Carbuncle read gloomily.
"What do they expect us to do?" Bunion asked bitterly. "We can't help it if there aren't any bounty hunters to bring in a bounty!"
"Go out and catch a bounty ourselves?" Carbuncle suggested.
"My dear Carbuncle, you know as well as I do that it's not our job to actually go after bounties. Bounty hunters are a touchy lot, they'd be damn annoyed if we trespassed in their province. No, our job is to arrange for the transfer of the bounties to the Marines, and for payment to be made to the bounty hunter - with a healthy cut going to the company, of course."
"But you just said, there aren't any bounty hunters here to get touchy with us anyway," Carbuncle pointed out in his lugubrious voice.
"I suppose that's true," Bunion conceded. "Well, I guess we can give your plan a try. Any bounties in town right now?"
"The Strawhat Pirates sailed in an hour ago," Carbuncle said, nodding towards the open window overlooking the harbour.
Bunion jumped to his feet, wincing at the unaccustomed activity. He slammed his hands on the desk. "The Strawhat Pirates? THE Strawhat Pirates? The ones who took down Enies Lobby?"
"Yes, the Strawhat Pirates. Combined bounty - seven hundred million and fifty beli. Their captain alone is worth 300 million," Carbuncle reported, flipping through a file of bounty posters.
"Let me see that," Bunion snapped, snatching the file. "Strawhat Luffy, 300 million... Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro, 120 million... Demon Child Nico Robin, 80 million... they must be impossibly strong! Not a single one under 10 million!"
"Their pet's worth 50 beli," Carbuncle supplied helpfully.
"Oh, great, and I suppose you think the company will grant us a reprieve if we turn in a 50-beli bounty," Bunion said sarcastically. He slammed the file down on the table and slumped into his chair in a posture of despair. "Let's face it, Carbuncle, we're done for."
His statement was punctuated by a timid knock on the door. "Um, excuse me?" an unfamiliar voice said.
"We're closed! Forever!" Bunion declared dramatically.
"Oh? Er, that's too bad. I guess I'll just look for another bounty office then..."
"Wait! You brought a bounty?" Both men bolted upright, and their jaws dropped in unison as they swung to the imposing figure at the front door, carrying a limp figure under its arm. "That's not..."
"It can't be..."
"Pirate Hunter Zoro?" they chorused, their eyes bulging out.
"Dead or alive?" Carbuncle added.
"Alive, just barely." The bounty hunter tossed his green-haired prey onto the floor of the office. "Um, can we get started on the paperwork? I'm in a hurry. I'll be expecting the usual advance, of course."
"Of-of-of course! I'll just lock him up first!" Carbuncle hurried forward.
"Good thing you knocked him unconscious, sir. I hear he's a real tough cookie," Bunion said, rubbing his hands in glee as he watched their prisoner get locked up in the cage in the corner of the office. He couldn't believe their luck. Roronoa Zoro. The infamous, bloodthirsty Pirate Hunter. 120 million beli, of which five percent would go to Worldwide Bounties as a processing fee. The company certainly couldn't complain about that!
He went over to a very dusty filing cabinet and rummaged about for the appropriate form. "Now, what name should I put down, sir?" he asked, picking up a pen and looking up expectantly at the pink-hatted bounty hunter.
"Um...you can call me Mr. Prince!"
"Where the devil have those two got to? I know the marimo's probably lost, but Chopper usually gets back on time," Sanji fretted. "They're late for Nami-san's birthday party!"
"Maybe there's been some super big trouble in town," Franky speculated, looking towards the sleepy rows of houses.
"You don't have to worry, Sanji. Zoro and Chopper know how to take care of themselves," Luffy grinned, clapping his feet together idly.
"I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about Nami-san's birthday cake! It's going to start melting if they don't get back in the next half-hour."
"Nami doesn't look too happy about the delay either," Usopp said worriedly, looking around furtively at the black-faced navigator.
Sanji began muttering something about inconsiderate green-haired bastards under his breath.
"I'm sure they have a good reason for being late," Brook said soothingly.
"If Cook-san and Nami-chan let them live long enough to explain it to us," Robin said cheerfully.
"Zoro, slow down, I need to treat that wound!" Chopper said for the tenth time as he clung for dear life to Zoro's neck.
"It's fine, Chopper," Zoro insisted. "You can treat it when we're back at the ship. Are we still headed the right way?"
Chopper took a peek around. "Yeah, I think so. But don't forget, I have to stop in that navigation equipment shop."
"Where's that?"
"Next right. No, Zoro, I said RIGHT!"
Zoro made an abrupt about-face and jogged in the correct direction. "This the shop?"
"Yeah." Chopper breathed a sigh of relief as he was let down. "I won't be a minute, Zoro. I know exactly what I want to get Nami."
"Okay, but hurry up."
Chopper raised an eyebrow at the swordsman's unusual behaviour. Zoro could be intense at times, but about anything other than battles and training he was usually pretty laidback. He certainly wasn't the sort to get antsy over being late for a party. Chopper ran into the shop anyway, and completed the transaction as quickly as he could. He came out to find Zoro poking at his wound.
"Argh! What are you doing? You might get that infected!"
"Eh, it's no big deal," Zoro shrugged. "You ready?"
"Whoaaaaaa," Chopper wailed as he got hoisted up again. Usually he enjoyed the piggyback rides he got from Zoro, but not when the ride was this bumpy. "Zoro, you're going to open up that wound if you move around too much!"
"It's just a scratch! Don't make such a fuss, Chopper," the swordsman said impatiently.
"Yeah, but what if it does get infected and you die? I'll feel terrible forever for messing up the plan!" Chopper said plaintively.
Was Chopper taking lessons from Nami about how to guilt-trip him, now? Zoro slowed to a halt and conceded defeat. "Fine, you can treat it. But it wouldn't be your fault even if something did happen. You didn't know that cage was going to be made of seastone."
"I should've been able to do something when that one guy attacked you, though," Chopper said apologetically, as he dabbed some antiseptic ointment from his backpack on Zoro's stomach wound.
"That's okay, you were busy dealing with the other guy," Zoro said dismissively. He decided it was best to remain vague, rather than remind Chopper that that was the one yelling, "50-beli bounty!" Chopper had made it pretty clear back then that he'd considered that a very rude remark.
"It was pretty cool when you just grabbed your guy through the bars and headbutted him, though!" Chopper said. "Although, that was when he managed to stab you..." He frowned at the blood staining his cloth.
"Eh, I've had worse," Zoro said dismissively.
Chopper certainly had to concede that. He got out his gauze and began covering up the wound. "They were pretty scared of you when we finally managed to unlock that cage, though," he giggled. "I don't know why, it's not like you're scary at all."
Zoro smiled fondly at the reindeer. "Yeah, I dunno either."
"But the coolest part was when you inspired them to become pirates!"
"I wouldn't really call that 'inspiring'," Zoro muttered. They'd wailed and pleaded for the chance to turn in at least one of them, asking what else two former bounty hunters were supposed to do with their lives - and they'd seized on the example right in front of them, of the world's most famous bounty hunter-turned-pirate. Personally, Zoro didn't think those two blisters on the landscape of bounty hunters would survive a week as pirates on the Grand Line, but Chopper probably didn't need to know that. He glanced down as Chopper finished taping the gauze to his skin.
"Done now, Chopper?"
"Yup." Chopper stashed his medical supplies away in his backpack, only to be snatched up by an arm and placed on Zoro's back again. "Waaaaaaaaaah! Zorooooooooo! Too faaaaaaaaast!"
Zoro glanced at the setting sun and put on another spurt of speed. He'd have to run like crazy if they were going to be allowed to live long enough to see Nami's birthday party through to its end.
It was well past midnight when the others wilted from a combination of too much food, too much alcohol, too much singing and too much laughter. Nami surveyed the confetti-littered deck and gave a shiver. "Wow, it's getting pretty cold," she remarked, reaching for another bottle of sake, only to have her hand intercepted by Zoro.
"Drinking contest's over," he said firmly.
"What, too much for you already?" Nami teased.
"Yeah, I'll let you win this time, seeing as it's your birthday," Zoro conceded defeat. Though it was true that any more and he'd be running the risk of actually getting drunk, and he was too good a swordsman - or perhaps simply too proud a man - to lose control in that way.
Nami stuck out her tongue at him. "You're just making excuses. Pass that bottle over - hey!" she protested, as Zoro moved the crate well beyond her reach. "How am I going to keep warm otherwise?"
"There are other sources of warmth besides alcohol, you know." Her eyes widened as Zoro settled down beside her, only to be obscured a moment later when a heavy cloth draped itself over her head. "Here. Brought you a blanket."
Nami made a face, but she accepted the blanket and wrapped it snugly around herself. "All right. Did you put everyone else to bed?"
"Yeah, except Robin - not sure where she disappeared off to."
"Robin never gets drunk, I'm sure." Nami leaned back against the side of the ship and looked up at the stars. "That was a really great birthday," she sighed. "The best since - since -" she frowned as a dark memory returned to her mind.
Zoro glanced at her, wary of the tears he could hear in her voice. "Your birthday's not over yet," he said gruffly. "I haven't given you my present."
"You got me a present?"
"Yeah. I think you'll like it. Here." He dug out a wad of beli from his pocket and pushed it into her hands. "You said I owed you seven hundred thousand beli, didn't you? Though how it got up to that much I really don't know."
Nami stared for a moment at the stack of beli, her fingers automatically flipping through the bills. "How'd you get this? Is this why you were late back?"
"Earned it," Zoro said shortly.
"Yeah, earned it HOW?" Nami asked testily.
"What does it matter?" Zoro shrugged. "Money's money."
"You didn't steal it, did you?"
"What's with that shocked voice? You're a thief!" Zoro shot back. "And for the record, I didn't steal anything."
"Then..." Nami searched her memory for some evidence of entrepreneurial activity on Zoro's part, and found that she had to go way back to before the crew got together. Not that doing a spot of bounty hunting just to get some cash to feed himself when he was on the verge of starvation really counted as being entrepreneurial, in her opinion.
"Did you turn in a bounty or something?"
"Um...close to that," Zoro admitted.
"And the bounty collection office didn't recognise you as a bounty?" she asked in surprise. She'd always thought the green hair would be an instant giveaway.
"They...kinda did...?" Zoro let out through gritted teeth.
"But they still gave you the money anyway?" Nami pressed.
"Not really..."
"So you did steal it!" Nami deduced.
"Aaaaaaaargh! Stop being so damn inquisitive, woman!" Zoro yelled in frustration.
"I'm not accepting this until you tell me how you got it," Nami said, folding her arms, the bills still tightly clutched in a fist.
"Okay then, just give it back." Zoro reached for the stack of notes, only to have his hand swatted away.
"No!"
"Then you've accepted it!" Zoro argued.
"I'm counting this as a contribution to the crew's funds, not as a birthday present."
"NAMI!"
He half-expected her to punch him into submission, but instead she put on a wide-eyed, puppy-dog expression. "Please, Zoro? It is my birthday," she wheedled.
Zoro sighed at her use of Chopper's look-too-cute-to-be-refused gambit. Apparently the whole crew was trading how-to-coerce-a-swordsman strategies now. "Fine. I was the bounty, okay? I got Chopper to turn me in, then help me escape." Nami's jaw dropped, and she suddenly gave him a cuff on the ear. "Ow!" he protested.
"What kind of an idiot are you? You could've been killed!" she scolded.
"What d'you take me for, some kind of weakling?" Zoro barked back, rubbing his ear. "I could handle those sorry excuses for bounty hunters any day. Besides, we had a plan."
"Well, obviously, not everything went to plan, since you managed to get yourself injured," she said, jabbing a finger into the bandage to prove her point, and he sucked in his breath hastily to keep from crying out.
"Oi! Stop that!" he hissed.
"And why Chopper, of all people? What about Sanji-kun?"
"Are you kidding me? The shit cook looks just like his bounty poster, he'd have been recognised immediately."
"And Chopper looks completely different in Heavy Point," Nami conceded. "But still, how could you force poor Chopper to do a thing like that!"
"Ow! Stop poking that! I didn't force him to do anything. He wanted to get the money to buy you that book anyway, so he was more than willing. Besides, Chopper's stronger than you think."
"It doesn't matter how strong he is, he shouldn't have had to take so many risks just to get me a birthday present, and neither should you!"
"Oh, now money suddenly isn't so important? Look, I owed you money, so I got you money," Zoro said stubbornly. "I had a debt, and I repaid it."
"The debt wasn't there so you would repay it!"
Zoro stopped short in his retort, confused. "A debt's a debt. What else are you supposed to do with it?"
"The debt is there, so you'll have something tying you back to us, so you don't go getting yourself killed!" Nami snapped.
There was a tense silence, before Nami realised what she'd just blurted out.
"I didn't just say that out loud, did I?" she groaned.
"Er, yeah. Unless it was the alcohol talking."
"Argh." Nami buried her face in her arms, while Zoro's brow furrowed in thought.
"When you say 'tying you back to us', d'you mean..."
"I don't want to hear it!" Nami sang, covering her ears as her cheeks flushed pink.
"What? It's not a big deal that you said it," Zoro shrugged. "It's not the first unexpected revelation you've made recently."
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Nami trawled through her memories again. "Wait, you don't mean - when Silvertongue had us under his spell?"
"Your most negative thought about me was kinda...surprising," Zoro said, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, I figured it would be about how much money I owed you, or how you always need to threaten me with that damned debt to get me to do stuff, unlike the ero-cook, but..."
"Oh no, what did I say?" Nami asked, scrunching her face up like she really didn't want to hear the answer.
"That it was really annoying that I never, um, paid any attention to your, um, feminine charms." Zoro turned a brilliant shade of scarlet, very deliberately averting his eyes from the more obvious manifestations of Nami's femininity.
"Nooooo! I can't believe I actually said that," Nami moaned, collapsing onto the deck. "Stupid Silvertongue and his Devil's Fruit! I almost want to get him back here so I can kick his ass all over again!"
Zoro's jaw dropped. "What, you mean it's true? That's what you really think?"
"Well, I..." Nami suddenly paused, then sat herself upright and looked squarely at Zoro. "Wait a minute. If I'd really said that back then, then you would know it was true, wouldn't you?"
"Oops..." Zoro desperately wished he was anywhere but facing the wrath of a navigator who was too clever by half.
"Which means that you just made that up? And I fell for it?"
"I...um..."
It didn't take too many of Nami's trademark punches to reduce the swordsman to a state of abject apology - or as close to abject apology as Zoro ever got.
"Geez woman, enough already! I'm sorry, okay?"
"I can't believe you thought you could get away with that! Talk about ruining a birthday!" she huffed.
"But you did like the present, right?" Zoro asked hopefully.
Nami relented a little. "Yeah, it was pretty good as presents go. Bellemere-san always used to give me a bit of pocket money on my birthday, it kinda reminds me of that."
"Good," Zoro sighed in relief. "So, that's settles it for the debt, right?"
"What d'you mean by that?" Nami's eyes narrowed.
"I mean, I paid it off, right? It's done?"
"Done? What made you think that? You happen to owe me 10 million beli." Nami poked a finger into Zoro's bandage.
"Ten million beli?" Zoro squawked. "What for?"
"A fine. For trying to fool me with that lame negative thought."
"Oh, great," Zoro grumbled. Thanks a lot, Robin! But he knew that if it hadn't been that, it would've been something else. He was a fish on a hook, unable to wriggle off - but oddly enough, Zoro didn't mind as much as he should have, if that line kept him tethered to her and the crew.
"And, you're not allowed to turn yourself in for a bounty ever again. Got it?" she said sternly.
Zoro sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I got it." There was a pause, before he ventured, "Can I turn in the shit cook then?"
"NO!"
"How am I supposed to ever pay you back, then?" Zoro pouted, jutting out his lower lip like a little boy.
Nami smiled, and leaned in closer to him, so close that his earrings tinkled as her lips brushed up against them, noting with satisfaction the reddening of his cheeks. "Let me give you a clue."
Time to test Zoro's newfound awareness of her feminine charms.