This was *definitely* a bad idea
Title: On Amazon Lily
Theme: Set #3 - Sand
Claim: Zoro
Words: 3694
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for the Marineford arc. Contains references to the Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro. Third in a series imagining one way the Strawhat crew might reunite. Probably some OOC-ness on the part of characters I'm less familiar with. May be depressing.
Disclaimers: I don't own One Piece.
Robin had just finished briefing them about Amazon Lily when the actual island came into view, a rocky crag protruding from the Calm Belt topped with a crown of serpents carved into the rock. Apart from the statues and the huge characters "Kuja" chiselled into the mountainside, it looked every inch a deserted island.
"The actual village is nestled in a valley within the mountain range," Robin explained when Chopper commented on the lack of buildings. "Outside of the village, there is only forest."
"But what about over there?" Usopp pointed to a sandy clearing in the midst of the trees, like a gigantic scar through the heart of Amazon Lily.
"That's strange," Robin commented. "My research indicates that the women of Amazon Lily rarely use wood for building. Why would they permit this level of deforestation, and so far away from their village, too?"
"If not wood, then what do they use, Robin?" Chopper asked.
"They quarry for rock directly from the mountains, sometimes carving their buildings into the mountains themselves. In addition, I understand that they take great care to preserve the ecosystem of their island - necessary, since it's so small any sort of blight or natural disaster could wipe out all their sources of food in a trice."
"So where do we drop anchor?" Zoro cut in, a little bit impatient with the academic discussion, not really seeing what a bunch of sand in the middle of the island had anything to do with them. "I don't see any coves."
"I'll take the Sunny around and look for a good landing spot," Nami said, turning the wheel.
It didn't take them long to spot a cove on the southward side of the island, and moreover to discover that it was occupied by a submarine. They weren't at all surprised to find that it bore the emblem of the Heart Pirates, given what Iva had told Sanji on Kamabakka.
"I was wondering when you guys would show up. You took your time," Trafalgar Law hailed them lazily as they docked alongside their rival's vessel.
"Yeah, well, we had a lot to take care of," Zoro responded, a little awkwardly. Not that the Strawhats had anything near a defined chain of command, but normally it would be Luffy talking to Law, Luffy with his disarming grin and his complete ease when talking to anyone and everyone. Zoro was fine making verbal jabs at enemies, and communicating with friends, but friends-who-should-be-enemies were rather less familiar.
"Your captain's in the forest somewhere. Just follow the trail of fallen trees." Law jerked a thumb in a certain direction, then seemed to change his mind. "Oh wait, don't."
"Fallen trees? You mean...that was Luffy?" Nami asked, her eyes widening in horror.
"Why did you say not to follow him?" Zoro frowned.
"Newsflash. Island of Women. We haven't been allowed out of the camp since we landed, with the exception of Jimbei, and that's only because he's a Fishman, and apparently they're okay."
"Well, we're gonna go look for him anyway," Zoro decided.
"Their warriors will kill you!" Bepo warned. "Although it would be nice to be killed by a warrior of Amazon Lily..." he drifted off dreamily.
"We can handle them," Zoro said confidently.
Law shrugged. "It's your funeral. But I don't see why you should ask for trouble when you have two lovely ladies you can send to talk to him instead." He shot Nami and Robin a charming smile.
"Like we'd let them go alone into a dangerous jungle without protection," Sanji flared.
"We won't go alone," Nami said, "but not because we can't protect ourselves. It's because Luffy needs us. All of us." Everyone nodded.
"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you." Law glanced at Chopper. "You're the doctor, right? I'll brief you on his injuries and my treatment."
"Okay," Chopper replied. He looked up at Zoro, who nodded for him to stay.
"And then we're outta here." Law stood up and stretched, then frowned. "I guess we'll have to ask the empress to escort us out again. How did you guys get through the Calm Belt, anyway? Seastone?"
"Yeah."
"What? How'd you get your hands on that stuff?" another of Law's crew asked. They guessed he was probably Law's engineer. "The Marines control the worldwide supply of seastone, and it's super expensive on the black market!"
Zoro and Sanji glanced at each other. "Marineford," they answered, after a moment.
Law arched an eyebrow. "Like captain, like crew. You guys are all crazy."
"We have some left over that you can use if you like," Franky offered. "But we used Sabaody resin to bind it to the hull. You'd have to improvise something else."
"Nah, I'd rather be able to touch my ship without keeling over," Law replied. "Besides, don't think you can get away with trading this favour for something paltry as a crate of seastone."
"Do you really think we value Luffy's life so cheaply?" Zoro said simply. Nami promptly conked him on the head. "Ow! Nami! What was that for?"
"That's just the wrong thing to say!" Nami scolded.
"But it's true!" Zoro protested, rubbing the bump on his head vigorously.
"I know it's true, but you didn't have to say it out loud and put yourself in a bad bargaining position!"
Law watched the altercation with amusement, then added oil to the fire. "I'll hold you to that. I'll expect to be repaid someday, with interest."
"SEE? Anything extra we have to pay him because of what you just said will be added to your debt, Zoro!"
"Okay."
"Okay? You're not supposed to just say 'okay'!"
"He saved Luffy's life, Nami. He's not going to ask for money in return."
Law eyed his fellow swordsman for a moment, then a smile spread across his face. "I see we understand each other. It'd be fun to duel with you one day." He dropped a hand casually to the hilt of his sword.
Zoro grinned, a touch predatorily. "Any time. C'mon," he said to the others. "Let's go. Chopper, come after us once you're ready."
"If you live past your first sight of the lovely ladies of Amazon Lily, let them know we wanna leave," Law said with another lazy wave. They left Law's crew, a lovelorn bear, and the two doctors earnestly discussing Luffy's condition behind them, and set off into the forest.
"What's that supposed to mean, anyway, paying interest if the payback's not in money?" Nami was still berating Zoro minutes later as they threaded their way through the trees. "If it means what I think it means, you are so going to get more belis added to your debt!"
"Nami, just leave it the hell alone!"
"Stupid self-sacrificing marimo idiot," Sanji muttered under his breath.
"What was that, curly-cook?" Zoro swung around threateningly.
"You didn't answer my question!"
"Oi, cook, you sure you can handle this?" Zoro very deliberately changed the subject, ignoring Nami's glare. "We may have to fight these women, y'know."
"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you," Sanji replied, sarcastically polite. "And, of course, I'll protect Nami-swan and Robin-chwan too!" He wriggled enthusiastically.
Now it was Zoro's turn to mutter about people who just didn't learn, even after being specifically sent to an okama island to develop a better attitude.
"What did you just say, marimo?" Sanji glared.
"Oh, now you want me to say it out loud?" Zoro retorted.
It was obvious a squabble was about to break out, when Robin interposed smoothly, "In any case, it's obvious they have played some part in rescuing Luffy, so technically we shouldn't be fighting against them."
"Only if we need to defend ourselves," Zoro agreed.
"So we shouldn't provoke any fights," Usopp said, looking a touch nervous at the prospect of encountering a group of ferocious Amazons.
"That's right," Nami agreed. "We should all be respectful of their customs, and..." She broke off when there was a rustle of leaves, and a group of ferocious Amazons even more terrifying than Usopp's wildest imaginings stepped out from the greenery, surrounding the pirates completely, snake-bows drawn. Zoro, Franky and Usopp immediately took up a defensive stance. Sanji fell in love. Robin and Nami just sighed.
"Heart Pirates! What is the meaning of this intrusion?" a woman with long black hair barked at them. "You were told not to leave your camp upon pain of death!"
"You see, we're not the Heart Pirates," Robin explained smoothly. "We're..."
"Excuse me, miss, may I have the honour of peeking at your panties?" Brook interrupted, lifting his hat.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" every one of the Kuja warriors shrieked. "A skeleton!" "Asking to see our panties!"
Every one of the Strawhat Pirates heaved a sigh. "Brook."
"Shithead! What happened to showing respect?" Sanji lashed out with a kick.
"What an insult to the honour of the Kuja warriors! Prepare to fire!" the dark-haired woman commanded.
"Wait a minute!" one of the warriors, a lithe blond woman, said, making her way to the front of the pack. She faced Brook fearlessly. "Are you, by any chance, a musician?"
"Indeed I am, miss! My name is Brook. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Brook gave her a deep bow.
Her face brightened. "Then you're one of Luffy's nakama! Don't you remember, Aphelandra? Sweetpea? Luffy said that one of his nakama was a skeleton who would ask to see our panties!"
"You're right, Margaret!" a very tall brown-haired girl replied.
Way to make a great first impression, Luffy, the rest of the Strawhats groaned.
"So, may I?" Brook asked hopefully.
"Only if you show us your kintama in return!"
Sanji passed out.
"Oi, Robin. There's only one way these women could know anything about kintama, right?" Zoro asked.
"Indeed, Swordsman-san."
Zoro sighed. Why do I follow such a captain...
"I am deeply sorry, Miss, but I have no kintama because I am just bones," Brook answered regretfully. "Perhaps I can persuade one of my crewmates..."
"Don't ask me, I've had enough abuse of my kintama while on this crew," Franky said, glaring at Robin, who gave him a friendly smile back.
Zoro decided that was enough talk about their nether regions and cleared his throat significantly. "We mean you no harm. We're only here to get our captain back. So if you'll just take us to him..."
Their women's faces fell and they exchanged sad glances. "Perhaps you should come talk to our empress Hebihime-sama first," Margaret said. "Kikyou, since they're Luffy's nakama they should be okay, right?"
"Yes," the black-haired woman responded, with obvious reluctance. "Hebihime-sama would wish to see them. Escort them to Kuja Castle!"
After a short trek up the mountainside they entered the village of Amazon Lily. Robin looked around with obvious fascination, pointing out various points of interest in the country's architecture. They, in turn, were viewed with the same degree of fascination. They were gawked at, all unusual aspects of their appearance pointed out, such as Zoro's green hair, Sanji's curly eyebrow, and Usopp's long nose. One woman even darted up to Franky to pinch at his skin and was very obviously disappointed when it didn't stretch.
"Oi, girlie, what's up with that?" Franky frowned, staring as she melted back into the crowd.
Margaret was the one who answered. "Luffy-san's skin stretches like that, so we thought all men must be stretchy as well!" Which, they supposed, made sense in a weird way.
They were told to wait in the main hall of the castle as their arrival was announced to the empress. They waited. And waited. Finally, they were told that the most senior among them would be admitted into the empress's presence.
"Why can't all of us go?" Sanji asked.
"It is Hebihime-sama's command," was all her attendants would say.
"So what exactly does that mean, 'senior'?" Usopp asked. "Brook?"
"I think she means the first mate," Nami said. "So, Zoro, I guess that's you."
"I'm not first mate. Luffy's never said so," Zoro argued.
"But you are the closest person we have to a first mate," Robin pointed out.
Zoro couldn't help but feel that when it came to diplomacy, Robin or Sanji would do a better job. But with all the others unanimously agreeing that it should be him, he nodded to the attendant. She bade him enter a smaller chamber, where he came face to face with Hancock, Royal Shichibukai and Empress of Amazon Lily. To the side stood two other women, both of a huge size, one with bright orange and the other, to Zoro's surprise, a bright green not unlike his own.
But it was Hancock who automatically drew the eye. Robin had said she was reputed to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Zoro wasn't much of a critic, but he had to admit she bore herself regally. But there was a haggard look to her face and a flush in her cheeks, that seemed to tell of some great strain.
He gave a brief bow, trying to remember all the audiences he'd attended as a child - which was not many, for he'd seized on every opportunity he could to skip out on them.
Hancock looked down at him disdainfully. "So, you are Luffy's nakama, then."
"Yeah. That's right," Zoro replied.
"And you are here to take him back."
He nodded.
"And why should I allow that?"
"He's our captain," he growled, hand naturally finding its way to the hilts of his katana.
"Then where were you, his crew, when he went into Impel Down to rescue his beloved brother? Where were you when he went into the lions' den and almost got himself killed? Where were you when he came back here, so devastated with grief that he hasn't allowed himself a moment of rest since he first woke up?" she asked coldly.
Zoro tensed a little at the last of her questions. "If we could have been there, we would have," he replied. But yes, I should have been there, he added mentally.
His answer did not seem to impress the woman. "What do you know of what happened at Marineford?" she asked.
"We know what the escapees from Impel Down told us."
"And since then?"
"Our doctor is getting briefed by Trafalgar Law, but I know he got well enough to knock down a whole bunch of your trees. And you just said he was taking Ace's death pretty badly."
A pained look crossed Hancock's face, and she put her hand over her eyes. "I went to him myself. I brought food. Lots of meat." Zoro found himself nodding unconsciously. He had to admit, she knew Luffy. Then her voice turned strained, almost brittle. "But he barely looked at me. He looked...far away. He kept saying he was weak." Zoro's heart lurched at the familiar complaint, from such an unfamiliar source. "He couldn't protect anyone. He couldn't protect his brother. He couldn't protect his crew."
Zoro frowned, inwardly cursing himself for his failure to fight back, which had been the start of everything. He pulled himself together, reminding himself what he was there for "Then he'll be better when he sees we're all okay," he reasoned.
He wasn't prepared for what happened next.
"I wish...I wish I could take all his pain away from him." The formerly-icy empress dissolved into a flood of tears.
Zoro was never much good at interpreting other people's emotions, but even he wasn't so dense he couldn't see that she had feelings for Luffy, and she had it bad. He really wished it was Robin or Sanji in here right now...
"Every one of us wishes we could take away his pain, and there's not one person in the crew who would hesitate to lay down their lives for Luffy if the occasion demanded," Zoro stated. He knew that much, from Thriller Bark. Like when the idiot cook had...he shook his head to clear the memory. He had to stay alert. When he looked up at Hancock again, she had blinked away her tears and was looking down at him imperiously, almost contemptuously.
"Prove it."
This was becoming an almost regular pattern. Meet Shichibukai, fight Shichibukai, feel pain at the hands of said Shichibukai. But it was nothing Zoro wasn't prepared to do.
"How?" he asked simply.
"If you truly deserve him, then your request to take him away will be made with a pure heart," she replied. "If you have a single wicked desire in your heart, I will turn you into stone, and smash you into pieces. If you fear judgment, then say so and I will spare you. But then you and your crew must leave immediately, without Luffy."
Turn into stone. Get Luffy back. Turn into stone. Get Luffy back.
It wasn't even a choice Zoro had to consciously make.
"I will not leave without Luffy."
"Very well. On your own head be it. Mero Mero Mellow!"
Zoro looked down at himself. No stone he could see. "Er, was something supposed to happen?"
"What is with Luffy's crew? Are they all so pure-hearted?" The green-haired woman was staring at him as if he was some kind of freak, and he knew it wasn't because of the colour of his hair.
"Mero Mero Mellow!" Hancock tried again.
"It's true, then! They really are a crew of saints!" This time it was the orange-haired woman voicing her amazement.
Being called a "saint" made a change from being called a demon, but it was going just a little bit far, Zoro reflected.
"Mero Mero Mellow!"
Zoro finally figured out what was going on. Hers was a Devil's Fruit power, and he still had bits of seastone embedded in his skin. Well, at least there was one positive outcome to having that seastone crate crash about him...he'd have to thank the shit cook later.
But if there was one thing he was good at, it was keeping a secret. "Y'know, I don't think this is working," he shrugged.
Hancock put down her hands, chewing on her lip as she examined him again, this time with a touch more respect. "Very well. I will allow you to take Luffy away if - and only if - you help him recover."
"We will," Zoro said, projecting more confidence than he felt. Luffy grieving. Luffy in true emotional pain. Luffy thinking himself weak. It was nothing they had ever had to deal with before.
"Mari, Sonia, have an escort arranged to bring them to where Luffy is," Hancock directed. She looked at Zoro, her eyes almost pleading. "Good luck, swordsman."
"I'll do my best," was all Zoro could promise.
They returned to their original path, making their way through the jungle to where Luffy was. They stopped at the edge of the sandy expanse, surveying the damage around them, a physical embodiment of Luffy's grief and pain. And then they heard a heart-rending wail, in a voice that they had never thought was capable of making such a sound.
Zoro looked around at the crew's horrified faces. "Let's go," he signalled grimly.
Before they could go much further in the direction of that tormented sound, a blue-skinned man appeared from amidst the trees. "Jimbei, a Fishman, and former Shichibukai," Robin reminded them quietly. Nami stiffened a little at the mention of his race.
"Don't worry, Nami-san," Sanji said softly, remembering the reports from the Impel Down escapees. "He's a friend." She relaxed.
The Fishman seemed to have no trouble identifying them either. "You must be Luffy-kun's crew. I cannot allow you all to see him."
"Why not?" Zoro demanded. He was getting tired of all the hurdles everyone was putting in their way. Luffy needed them, dammit!
"He cannot take the shock of meeting so many of you at once. I will not stop you from seeing him, only ask that you send one person to prepare him first. I am concerned only for Luffy-kun's own well-being."
"Maybe Luffy's stronger than you think," Zoro pointed out.
"I have stayed by his side for all these terrible days. I think I know what he is psychologically ready for or not," Jimbei replied, seriously but without accusation.
Zoro blinked. "Okay. Now who do we send?" He was all for sending Usopp, as the one crew member who not only spent the most time with Luffy but also had a proven track record in comforting people who were sick and grieving. But once again, the consensus swung around to him.
"I think Luffy-bro would listen to you, Zoro-bro," Franky said.
"I second the motion," Brook said solemnly, and Usopp voiced his approval as well.
"Much as I hate to impose on you, Swordsman-san, I believe you are the best choice," Robin said, and Nami nodded.
He looked at Sanji, who shrugged. "Go on, Zoro. Bring Luffy back. And don't forget this." He handed Zoro the box he'd carried all the way from the ship. Zoro had almost forgotten.
He nodded and accepted it, along with the hopes of all the crew, then squared his shoulders and took a step towards what would surely be the hardest conversation of his life.
Theme: Set #3 - Sand
Claim: Zoro
Words: 3694
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for the Marineford arc. Contains references to the Adventures of Young Roronoa Zoro. Third in a series imagining one way the Strawhat crew might reunite. Probably some OOC-ness on the part of characters I'm less familiar with. May be depressing.
Disclaimers: I don't own One Piece.
Robin had just finished briefing them about Amazon Lily when the actual island came into view, a rocky crag protruding from the Calm Belt topped with a crown of serpents carved into the rock. Apart from the statues and the huge characters "Kuja" chiselled into the mountainside, it looked every inch a deserted island.
"The actual village is nestled in a valley within the mountain range," Robin explained when Chopper commented on the lack of buildings. "Outside of the village, there is only forest."
"But what about over there?" Usopp pointed to a sandy clearing in the midst of the trees, like a gigantic scar through the heart of Amazon Lily.
"That's strange," Robin commented. "My research indicates that the women of Amazon Lily rarely use wood for building. Why would they permit this level of deforestation, and so far away from their village, too?"
"If not wood, then what do they use, Robin?" Chopper asked.
"They quarry for rock directly from the mountains, sometimes carving their buildings into the mountains themselves. In addition, I understand that they take great care to preserve the ecosystem of their island - necessary, since it's so small any sort of blight or natural disaster could wipe out all their sources of food in a trice."
"So where do we drop anchor?" Zoro cut in, a little bit impatient with the academic discussion, not really seeing what a bunch of sand in the middle of the island had anything to do with them. "I don't see any coves."
"I'll take the Sunny around and look for a good landing spot," Nami said, turning the wheel.
It didn't take them long to spot a cove on the southward side of the island, and moreover to discover that it was occupied by a submarine. They weren't at all surprised to find that it bore the emblem of the Heart Pirates, given what Iva had told Sanji on Kamabakka.
"I was wondering when you guys would show up. You took your time," Trafalgar Law hailed them lazily as they docked alongside their rival's vessel.
"Yeah, well, we had a lot to take care of," Zoro responded, a little awkwardly. Not that the Strawhats had anything near a defined chain of command, but normally it would be Luffy talking to Law, Luffy with his disarming grin and his complete ease when talking to anyone and everyone. Zoro was fine making verbal jabs at enemies, and communicating with friends, but friends-who-should-be-enemies were rather less familiar.
"Your captain's in the forest somewhere. Just follow the trail of fallen trees." Law jerked a thumb in a certain direction, then seemed to change his mind. "Oh wait, don't."
"Fallen trees? You mean...that was Luffy?" Nami asked, her eyes widening in horror.
"Why did you say not to follow him?" Zoro frowned.
"Newsflash. Island of Women. We haven't been allowed out of the camp since we landed, with the exception of Jimbei, and that's only because he's a Fishman, and apparently they're okay."
"Well, we're gonna go look for him anyway," Zoro decided.
"Their warriors will kill you!" Bepo warned. "Although it would be nice to be killed by a warrior of Amazon Lily..." he drifted off dreamily.
"We can handle them," Zoro said confidently.
Law shrugged. "It's your funeral. But I don't see why you should ask for trouble when you have two lovely ladies you can send to talk to him instead." He shot Nami and Robin a charming smile.
"Like we'd let them go alone into a dangerous jungle without protection," Sanji flared.
"We won't go alone," Nami said, "but not because we can't protect ourselves. It's because Luffy needs us. All of us." Everyone nodded.
"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you." Law glanced at Chopper. "You're the doctor, right? I'll brief you on his injuries and my treatment."
"Okay," Chopper replied. He looked up at Zoro, who nodded for him to stay.
"And then we're outta here." Law stood up and stretched, then frowned. "I guess we'll have to ask the empress to escort us out again. How did you guys get through the Calm Belt, anyway? Seastone?"
"Yeah."
"What? How'd you get your hands on that stuff?" another of Law's crew asked. They guessed he was probably Law's engineer. "The Marines control the worldwide supply of seastone, and it's super expensive on the black market!"
Zoro and Sanji glanced at each other. "Marineford," they answered, after a moment.
Law arched an eyebrow. "Like captain, like crew. You guys are all crazy."
"We have some left over that you can use if you like," Franky offered. "But we used Sabaody resin to bind it to the hull. You'd have to improvise something else."
"Nah, I'd rather be able to touch my ship without keeling over," Law replied. "Besides, don't think you can get away with trading this favour for something paltry as a crate of seastone."
"Do you really think we value Luffy's life so cheaply?" Zoro said simply. Nami promptly conked him on the head. "Ow! Nami! What was that for?"
"That's just the wrong thing to say!" Nami scolded.
"But it's true!" Zoro protested, rubbing the bump on his head vigorously.
"I know it's true, but you didn't have to say it out loud and put yourself in a bad bargaining position!"
Law watched the altercation with amusement, then added oil to the fire. "I'll hold you to that. I'll expect to be repaid someday, with interest."
"SEE? Anything extra we have to pay him because of what you just said will be added to your debt, Zoro!"
"Okay."
"Okay? You're not supposed to just say 'okay'!"
"He saved Luffy's life, Nami. He's not going to ask for money in return."
Law eyed his fellow swordsman for a moment, then a smile spread across his face. "I see we understand each other. It'd be fun to duel with you one day." He dropped a hand casually to the hilt of his sword.
Zoro grinned, a touch predatorily. "Any time. C'mon," he said to the others. "Let's go. Chopper, come after us once you're ready."
"If you live past your first sight of the lovely ladies of Amazon Lily, let them know we wanna leave," Law said with another lazy wave. They left Law's crew, a lovelorn bear, and the two doctors earnestly discussing Luffy's condition behind them, and set off into the forest.
"What's that supposed to mean, anyway, paying interest if the payback's not in money?" Nami was still berating Zoro minutes later as they threaded their way through the trees. "If it means what I think it means, you are so going to get more belis added to your debt!"
"Nami, just leave it the hell alone!"
"Stupid self-sacrificing marimo idiot," Sanji muttered under his breath.
"What was that, curly-cook?" Zoro swung around threateningly.
"You didn't answer my question!"
"Oi, cook, you sure you can handle this?" Zoro very deliberately changed the subject, ignoring Nami's glare. "We may have to fight these women, y'know."
"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you," Sanji replied, sarcastically polite. "And, of course, I'll protect Nami-swan and Robin-chwan too!" He wriggled enthusiastically.
Now it was Zoro's turn to mutter about people who just didn't learn, even after being specifically sent to an okama island to develop a better attitude.
"What did you just say, marimo?" Sanji glared.
"Oh, now you want me to say it out loud?" Zoro retorted.
It was obvious a squabble was about to break out, when Robin interposed smoothly, "In any case, it's obvious they have played some part in rescuing Luffy, so technically we shouldn't be fighting against them."
"Only if we need to defend ourselves," Zoro agreed.
"So we shouldn't provoke any fights," Usopp said, looking a touch nervous at the prospect of encountering a group of ferocious Amazons.
"That's right," Nami agreed. "We should all be respectful of their customs, and..." She broke off when there was a rustle of leaves, and a group of ferocious Amazons even more terrifying than Usopp's wildest imaginings stepped out from the greenery, surrounding the pirates completely, snake-bows drawn. Zoro, Franky and Usopp immediately took up a defensive stance. Sanji fell in love. Robin and Nami just sighed.
"Heart Pirates! What is the meaning of this intrusion?" a woman with long black hair barked at them. "You were told not to leave your camp upon pain of death!"
"You see, we're not the Heart Pirates," Robin explained smoothly. "We're..."
"Excuse me, miss, may I have the honour of peeking at your panties?" Brook interrupted, lifting his hat.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" every one of the Kuja warriors shrieked. "A skeleton!" "Asking to see our panties!"
Every one of the Strawhat Pirates heaved a sigh. "Brook."
"Shithead! What happened to showing respect?" Sanji lashed out with a kick.
"What an insult to the honour of the Kuja warriors! Prepare to fire!" the dark-haired woman commanded.
"Wait a minute!" one of the warriors, a lithe blond woman, said, making her way to the front of the pack. She faced Brook fearlessly. "Are you, by any chance, a musician?"
"Indeed I am, miss! My name is Brook. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Brook gave her a deep bow.
Her face brightened. "Then you're one of Luffy's nakama! Don't you remember, Aphelandra? Sweetpea? Luffy said that one of his nakama was a skeleton who would ask to see our panties!"
"You're right, Margaret!" a very tall brown-haired girl replied.
Way to make a great first impression, Luffy, the rest of the Strawhats groaned.
"So, may I?" Brook asked hopefully.
"Only if you show us your kintama in return!"
Sanji passed out.
"Oi, Robin. There's only one way these women could know anything about kintama, right?" Zoro asked.
"Indeed, Swordsman-san."
Zoro sighed. Why do I follow such a captain...
"I am deeply sorry, Miss, but I have no kintama because I am just bones," Brook answered regretfully. "Perhaps I can persuade one of my crewmates..."
"Don't ask me, I've had enough abuse of my kintama while on this crew," Franky said, glaring at Robin, who gave him a friendly smile back.
Zoro decided that was enough talk about their nether regions and cleared his throat significantly. "We mean you no harm. We're only here to get our captain back. So if you'll just take us to him..."
Their women's faces fell and they exchanged sad glances. "Perhaps you should come talk to our empress Hebihime-sama first," Margaret said. "Kikyou, since they're Luffy's nakama they should be okay, right?"
"Yes," the black-haired woman responded, with obvious reluctance. "Hebihime-sama would wish to see them. Escort them to Kuja Castle!"
After a short trek up the mountainside they entered the village of Amazon Lily. Robin looked around with obvious fascination, pointing out various points of interest in the country's architecture. They, in turn, were viewed with the same degree of fascination. They were gawked at, all unusual aspects of their appearance pointed out, such as Zoro's green hair, Sanji's curly eyebrow, and Usopp's long nose. One woman even darted up to Franky to pinch at his skin and was very obviously disappointed when it didn't stretch.
"Oi, girlie, what's up with that?" Franky frowned, staring as she melted back into the crowd.
Margaret was the one who answered. "Luffy-san's skin stretches like that, so we thought all men must be stretchy as well!" Which, they supposed, made sense in a weird way.
They were told to wait in the main hall of the castle as their arrival was announced to the empress. They waited. And waited. Finally, they were told that the most senior among them would be admitted into the empress's presence.
"Why can't all of us go?" Sanji asked.
"It is Hebihime-sama's command," was all her attendants would say.
"So what exactly does that mean, 'senior'?" Usopp asked. "Brook?"
"I think she means the first mate," Nami said. "So, Zoro, I guess that's you."
"I'm not first mate. Luffy's never said so," Zoro argued.
"But you are the closest person we have to a first mate," Robin pointed out.
Zoro couldn't help but feel that when it came to diplomacy, Robin or Sanji would do a better job. But with all the others unanimously agreeing that it should be him, he nodded to the attendant. She bade him enter a smaller chamber, where he came face to face with Hancock, Royal Shichibukai and Empress of Amazon Lily. To the side stood two other women, both of a huge size, one with bright orange and the other, to Zoro's surprise, a bright green not unlike his own.
But it was Hancock who automatically drew the eye. Robin had said she was reputed to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Zoro wasn't much of a critic, but he had to admit she bore herself regally. But there was a haggard look to her face and a flush in her cheeks, that seemed to tell of some great strain.
He gave a brief bow, trying to remember all the audiences he'd attended as a child - which was not many, for he'd seized on every opportunity he could to skip out on them.
Hancock looked down at him disdainfully. "So, you are Luffy's nakama, then."
"Yeah. That's right," Zoro replied.
"And you are here to take him back."
He nodded.
"And why should I allow that?"
"He's our captain," he growled, hand naturally finding its way to the hilts of his katana.
"Then where were you, his crew, when he went into Impel Down to rescue his beloved brother? Where were you when he went into the lions' den and almost got himself killed? Where were you when he came back here, so devastated with grief that he hasn't allowed himself a moment of rest since he first woke up?" she asked coldly.
Zoro tensed a little at the last of her questions. "If we could have been there, we would have," he replied. But yes, I should have been there, he added mentally.
His answer did not seem to impress the woman. "What do you know of what happened at Marineford?" she asked.
"We know what the escapees from Impel Down told us."
"And since then?"
"Our doctor is getting briefed by Trafalgar Law, but I know he got well enough to knock down a whole bunch of your trees. And you just said he was taking Ace's death pretty badly."
A pained look crossed Hancock's face, and she put her hand over her eyes. "I went to him myself. I brought food. Lots of meat." Zoro found himself nodding unconsciously. He had to admit, she knew Luffy. Then her voice turned strained, almost brittle. "But he barely looked at me. He looked...far away. He kept saying he was weak." Zoro's heart lurched at the familiar complaint, from such an unfamiliar source. "He couldn't protect anyone. He couldn't protect his brother. He couldn't protect his crew."
Zoro frowned, inwardly cursing himself for his failure to fight back, which had been the start of everything. He pulled himself together, reminding himself what he was there for "Then he'll be better when he sees we're all okay," he reasoned.
He wasn't prepared for what happened next.
"I wish...I wish I could take all his pain away from him." The formerly-icy empress dissolved into a flood of tears.
Zoro was never much good at interpreting other people's emotions, but even he wasn't so dense he couldn't see that she had feelings for Luffy, and she had it bad. He really wished it was Robin or Sanji in here right now...
"Every one of us wishes we could take away his pain, and there's not one person in the crew who would hesitate to lay down their lives for Luffy if the occasion demanded," Zoro stated. He knew that much, from Thriller Bark. Like when the idiot cook had...he shook his head to clear the memory. He had to stay alert. When he looked up at Hancock again, she had blinked away her tears and was looking down at him imperiously, almost contemptuously.
"Prove it."
This was becoming an almost regular pattern. Meet Shichibukai, fight Shichibukai, feel pain at the hands of said Shichibukai. But it was nothing Zoro wasn't prepared to do.
"How?" he asked simply.
"If you truly deserve him, then your request to take him away will be made with a pure heart," she replied. "If you have a single wicked desire in your heart, I will turn you into stone, and smash you into pieces. If you fear judgment, then say so and I will spare you. But then you and your crew must leave immediately, without Luffy."
Turn into stone. Get Luffy back. Turn into stone. Get Luffy back.
It wasn't even a choice Zoro had to consciously make.
"I will not leave without Luffy."
"Very well. On your own head be it. Mero Mero Mellow!"
Zoro looked down at himself. No stone he could see. "Er, was something supposed to happen?"
"What is with Luffy's crew? Are they all so pure-hearted?" The green-haired woman was staring at him as if he was some kind of freak, and he knew it wasn't because of the colour of his hair.
"Mero Mero Mellow!" Hancock tried again.
"It's true, then! They really are a crew of saints!" This time it was the orange-haired woman voicing her amazement.
Being called a "saint" made a change from being called a demon, but it was going just a little bit far, Zoro reflected.
"Mero Mero Mellow!"
Zoro finally figured out what was going on. Hers was a Devil's Fruit power, and he still had bits of seastone embedded in his skin. Well, at least there was one positive outcome to having that seastone crate crash about him...he'd have to thank the shit cook later.
But if there was one thing he was good at, it was keeping a secret. "Y'know, I don't think this is working," he shrugged.
Hancock put down her hands, chewing on her lip as she examined him again, this time with a touch more respect. "Very well. I will allow you to take Luffy away if - and only if - you help him recover."
"We will," Zoro said, projecting more confidence than he felt. Luffy grieving. Luffy in true emotional pain. Luffy thinking himself weak. It was nothing they had ever had to deal with before.
"Mari, Sonia, have an escort arranged to bring them to where Luffy is," Hancock directed. She looked at Zoro, her eyes almost pleading. "Good luck, swordsman."
"I'll do my best," was all Zoro could promise.
They returned to their original path, making their way through the jungle to where Luffy was. They stopped at the edge of the sandy expanse, surveying the damage around them, a physical embodiment of Luffy's grief and pain. And then they heard a heart-rending wail, in a voice that they had never thought was capable of making such a sound.
Zoro looked around at the crew's horrified faces. "Let's go," he signalled grimly.
Before they could go much further in the direction of that tormented sound, a blue-skinned man appeared from amidst the trees. "Jimbei, a Fishman, and former Shichibukai," Robin reminded them quietly. Nami stiffened a little at the mention of his race.
"Don't worry, Nami-san," Sanji said softly, remembering the reports from the Impel Down escapees. "He's a friend." She relaxed.
The Fishman seemed to have no trouble identifying them either. "You must be Luffy-kun's crew. I cannot allow you all to see him."
"Why not?" Zoro demanded. He was getting tired of all the hurdles everyone was putting in their way. Luffy needed them, dammit!
"He cannot take the shock of meeting so many of you at once. I will not stop you from seeing him, only ask that you send one person to prepare him first. I am concerned only for Luffy-kun's own well-being."
"Maybe Luffy's stronger than you think," Zoro pointed out.
"I have stayed by his side for all these terrible days. I think I know what he is psychologically ready for or not," Jimbei replied, seriously but without accusation.
Zoro blinked. "Okay. Now who do we send?" He was all for sending Usopp, as the one crew member who not only spent the most time with Luffy but also had a proven track record in comforting people who were sick and grieving. But once again, the consensus swung around to him.
"I think Luffy-bro would listen to you, Zoro-bro," Franky said.
"I second the motion," Brook said solemnly, and Usopp voiced his approval as well.
"Much as I hate to impose on you, Swordsman-san, I believe you are the best choice," Robin said, and Nami nodded.
He looked at Sanji, who shrugged. "Go on, Zoro. Bring Luffy back. And don't forget this." He handed Zoro the box he'd carried all the way from the ship. Zoro had almost forgotten.
He nodded and accepted it, along with the hopes of all the crew, then squared his shoulders and took a step towards what would surely be the hardest conversation of his life.