Secret Longings (Yuyu Hakusho, Yusuke/Kurama, #12)

[aoshis_toy]

Title: Secret Longings
Author: Aoshis_toy
Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama
Fandom: Yuyu Hakusho
Theme: #12 what can I do to make you see me
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do NOT own or profit from Yuyu Hakusho or the characters.

Summary: A night of over indulgence leads to something that was there all along.

Kurama placed the book onto the night stand before switching off the lamp. Lean finger lingered on the beaded cord, unsure of their action. As much as he wanted to sleep his mind didn’t wish to rest just yet. It was filled with ideas and plans, all for him. Ways in which to make the man finally see him for more than just a friend. He’d be risking a lot but it would be worth it if it won him Yusuke. The boy was finally back from the Makai but had been seriously dating Keiko. As much as he liked the human female, his heart longed for the man.

The desire hadn’t begun until after they’d come back. It might have been there before but it had been laying dormant. They’d became close fast and the boy had taken up residence in his heart. The love had begun as a friendship and an understanding. Seeing the boy now made him stir sexually and emotionally. He had to watch him almost daily with his girlfriend. That relationship was off, he felt it. If Yusuke were telling the truth then the man was still a virgin. Him and Keiko hadn’t stepped over that boundary. Why? It had always been apparent that Yusuke was very virile. Was it him holding the relationship back or Keiko? It was a question he needed the answer to. His only hope was a few minor details that he’d noticed. Such as the man had been in no rush to get back to the girl. He’d had no problem leaving her for so long. If he was in love with her wouldn’t he miss her with every breath he took? When he’d come back that day on the beach, Keiko had thrown herself in his arms. The boy hadn’t returned the kiss. If your loved one hadn’t been seen in years shouldn’t the reunion have been more passionate?

Rolling over he stared out into the dark room. Tomorrow, Yusuke and Kuwabara were planning to stop by for the evening. Having his own placed helped with his social life and friends. His mother came by every weekend to check up on him but let him have his privacy. The plan was to watch movies and order out for pizza. Kuwabara usually went home first. He was hoping it was the same tomorrow. They’d go shopping first for drinks and beer. Kuwabara would pick up chips and such but the trip would be short.

He wasn’t sure how to go about getting the man’s attention. Nothing he’d done so far had worked. Granted it was only the lightest of flirting and making himself appear more appealing. The boy seemed totally ignorant of the small advances. Yusuke had never been to bright upstairs but that was just one of his many charms. If he wanted someone intelligent he’d go after Keiko. He was sure the girl sensed something but hadn’t commented as of yet.

The wind howled outside, warning of the impeding storm. As long as the weather was gone by tomorrow evening he wouldn’t mind the rain. If luck held out he’d have Yusuke all to himself for the night. The possibilities were limitless. He’d like to be the man’s first lover and last. Smiling he turned into the plush pillow and closed his eyes. He’d need some rest if he wanted to make the most of his company.

"I hope they didn’t kill it with onions this time." Kuwabara lifted the cardboard up. Steam rose from the fresh baked pizza. Just the way he liked it, loaded down with cheese. And his sister wasn’t here to yell him about his cholesterol. Oh yeah, he was going enjoy this dinner. He yelped as the heat seeped into the pads of his fingers. "Dammit, it’s hot."

"Moron, he has utensils for that." Yusuke laughed as the man sucked on his finger. Walking around him, he went to the smallest drawer. He knew where everything was kept in the kitsune’s house, having stayed so many times before. The man was a neat freak and kept everything orderly. It was nice to walk into the kitchen and being able to grab what he needed. Unlike at his house, everything was just tossed somewhere and that was by him. His mother still didn’t believe in cleaning up the house.

Yusuke handed the man the spathula and went to grab some napkins. "Don’t make a mess either." Instead of grabbing plates in which to dirty he went to the cabinet to find paper plates. He wouldn’t leave Kurama with dishes to clean. The man was nice enough to feed them and entertain them for the evening. The least they could do was be considerate and not leave a mess behind. Once he had everything on the table, Kuwabara went to digging in. Wondering where the man had ran off to, he went in search of the man. Maybe he could get a towel also, his hair was still slightly damp from the rain.

His search took him up the stairs and into the bedroom. There was only one bedroom in the large apartment but it was spacious. The door was cracked so he pushed it open. As the wood slammed against the door the redhead jumped inside. Yusuke felt his mouth go dry at the sight. The kitsune was standing near the bed. The man had been in the process of disrobing. The damp shirt was laying across a chair along with the slacks he’d been wearing. Kurama was standing there in nothing but a pair of white boxers.

Kurama smiled gently at him but didn’t move. He noticed the way the man’s eyes roamed over him. After being caught in the storm his first priority had been to get out of his damp clothing. Having Yusuke barge in on him hadn’t been expected. Still, he took advantage of the situation. Acting like it was nothing out of the ordinary, he used the towel in his hands to dry his hair. He felt the eyes on him as he continued. He let the man watch him for several seconds before answering. "Did you need something Yusuke?"

"Yeah, a towel." Yusuke stammered feeling stupid for ogling the man. He’d seen him without a shirt before so what was the big deal? It was Kurama for crying out loud, one of his best friends. It wasn’t like there was a hot chick standing there in her panties. Brown orbs landed on a few drops of water, that had descended from the soaked strands. One trickled down the bare chest, cascading over a rosy nipple. He felt a twitch in his groin.

"There is still a few in the bathroom. Might want to take Kuwabara one also. I don’t have anything he could wear but let him dry some before sitting on the couch." Kurama brought the towel over his chest, noticing his nipples hardened under the man’s appraisal. He had no doubt in his mind that he wanted the man standing in his doorway. Having those beautiful eyes looking at him was making his member stir. Blood rushed to the once flaccid length. Did Yusuke even now what was happening to him? "Yusuke?"

"What the hell are you doing man?" Kuwabara yelled at him from the hallway. Running a hand through his damp hair he growled. Dammit, he’d need to get dry before eating and he’d already fixed his plate. What the hell were the two talking about? Urameshi looked like a deer caught in headlights. What was Kurama doing in there? Was the man spanking his monkey or something? "Grab me a towel while you’re at it."

"Yeah, alright." Yusuke snapped out of it. What the hell was his problem? Kurama didn’t want him staring at him. The image was engraved into his mind, the man’s lean form. Was it just his imagination or had he been slightly erect? Even so, if that was slightly erect, he’d hate to be the woman the man was dating. Walking past the kitsune without turning in his general direction he searched the bathroom for the drying cloth. Once it was found he went on his way out the door and back into the kitchen.

Kurama let him go feeling disappointed. He was sure Yusuke had been stirred by the sight of him. Yet, he’d just walked past and back out without speaking to him. Maybe he was mistaken about the man’s interest. No, Yusuke had definitely liked what he saw. Shame Kuwabara had broken the mood, he’d like to see Yusuke’s full reaction to him.

Kurama ate a few pieces of the pizza as the movie played. Kuwabara and Yusuke were getting into the fight scenes. He just sat back and watched the emotions crossing the detective’s face. Gods, the man was stunning. Down to the way his hair fell into the boyish face, every chiseled line of his jaw. His lips were lush and perfectly shaped, meant for kissing. What would it be like to taste the inner sanctum? Suddenly, he wished his name was Keiko so he could lean forward and capture that mouth in a long probing duel.

Yusuke felt the man’s eyes on him. It made him blush knowing Kurama was staring at him. His mind scolded his raging hormones. He shouldn’t even consider the possibility that Kurama was actually paying close attention to him. Knowing the man as well as he did, there was a good chance his mind was completely elsewhere. His eyes might be locked on him but that complex mind of his was somewhere else, nowhere focused on him. He just happened to be sitting in the direction his head was turned. He commented as Kuwabara swore seeing the main character in the movie take a bullet to the chest. Figures, the good guy always got screwed over by some hot chick.

Kurama didn’t speak as Yusuke got up to fetch another beer. Was the man trying to get plastered? As long as he didn’t puke upon the furniture. At least he wasn’t like Kuwabara and was throwing his empty cans into the trash. Not that it really bothered him, he’d just clean up in the morning before work. Disappointment was making him weary as Yusuke stood in the doorway to the kitchen gazing into the room. He noticed the way the man wasn’t bothering to taste the beverage. The can was almost pasted to the lips as he chugged it down. Yes, Yusuke was trying to get drunk.

Yusuke suppressed the burp that threatened as he finished off the can. How many was that? Two empty twelve packs were sitting near the trash. Had he drunk all that himself or had Kurama taken a few? His vision was hazy as he popped another top and looked out into the room. Kuwabara was still watching the television as Kurama had decided to lay down across the couch. The man’s lean form looked delicate and tempting as he stretched. Yusuke groaned, he knew the man was anything but delicate. The kitsune could be a deadly adversary. Yet as he watched the lean form snuggle deeper into the soft furniture he wanted to crawl up behind him.

"Well, I’m heading home now. Don’t let Urameshi walk home, he’s had too many." Kuwabara grabbed his trash, to take it to the kitchen. Yusuke snapped at him as he passed. The man was drunk and the speech slurred. What the hell had possessed him to get wasted? Then again he’d been informed earlier that Keiko had started an argument with the man. Which confused him, Keiko never had a problem with the three hanging out before so why now? Maybe the girl was getting leechy for some reason. Hell, he wished Yukina would act that way towards him.

Yusuke watched the redhead get up to lock the door. He’d be staying the night it seemed. There was no problem with him taking the couch. He walked over to take a seat on the spot Kurama had just vacated. It was warm and smelled sweetly of roses. The man always smelt good, it was one of the things he’d grown to like. What the hell was he thinking? Okay, so Kurama smelt like roses, that was to expected since he could pull them out his ass. Well, not out his ass but yeah. His eyes landed on the ass in question. The man was taking out the tape, placing it in the proper case. Was it possible for a man to have a sweet looking ass? His mouth went dry as the hips moved, moving the round bottom.

Kurama grabbed the remote off the television. He wasn’t in the mood to watch another flick. It was already after ten and getting late. Soon, he’d have to head to bed so he could get up for work at five. He hadn’t expected Kuwabara to stay so late. Or for Yusuke to get inebriated either. Giving up his plans on making his feelings known he went to sit next to his friend. Leaning back against the back of the couch he sighed. He’d stay up a while longer to make sure the boy didn’t hurl and drown in his own puke.

Yusuke felt light headed as he stared at the man’s face. The eyes were closed as the beautiful man relaxed. He had to be drunk, he chuckled feeling his body respond to the image the man presented. What would it be like to kiss him? When had he gotten such a pouty mouth? He groaned seeing the tiny pink tongue rush forward to lick the bottom petal. No sound was made as he leaned forward.

Kurama snapped his eyes open and gasped. The hard mouth crashed over his in a branding kiss. Confusion filled him momentarily, wondering what the hell had come over the man. A hot tongue swiped across his lips. It sent blood crashing to his lower region. His cock was rock hard in a matter of seconds. Opening up, he allowed Yusuke to brush across his own tongue. The mouth tasted strongly of beer but that didn’t phase him. The kiss was stirring him, making him long for more.

Yusuke moaned into the hot mouth. He tasted so sweet, the lips incredibly soft and plaint. His mind screamed that he was kissing another male. He didn’t care at the moment, it felt too nice. The world spun as the kiss was returned. The tongues dueled, his blood flared as the man gave in to his dominance. It thrilled him feeling the other man give in. His fingers went for the shirt, ripping the buttons. He took no care exposing the succulent chest to his gaze. The tiny nipples were taunt as his thumbs over each. The gasps escaping the parted lips drove him wild.

Kurama couldn’t believe that Yusuke was being the aggressor. Was it because of how much alcohol he’d consumed? Or did the man really want him? The rough hands were playing with the string of his sweats. It wasn’t the romantic scenario he’d been hoping for but he’d take what he could. He’d imagined himself slowly introducing him into the realms of pleasure. It wasn’t turning out that way, as the hands yanked the sweats down along with the boxers. "Wait, you’ll need something."

"Hurry," Yusuke allowed the now naked man to get up. As he disappeared, he went about stripping off his own clothing. Clumsy fingers undid the jeans. Kurama was back as he tossed the pants to the side. He didn’t have any idea what he wanted but his cock was throbbing. He knew how a male went with a female but this was completely ignorant to him. Uncertainty filled him until Kurama came to sit in front of him. The angelic face was eye level with his erect member.

Smiling Kurama placed the small tube next to him on the couch. It was one he’d bought months ago when he and Hiei had been lovers. That relationship had been one merely one of convenience. This was more to him, he loved Yusuke. He was more than prepared for what was to come. His fingers came out to wrap around the dripping shaft. Pre-cum coated his thumb and forefinger. The man’s tip was smooth and warm. Leaning forward he wrapped his lips around the head. The salty taste seeped into his tastebud as another helping of fluid leaked out the tiny slit.

Yusuke grabbed a handful of the glorious hair. His ball tightened as the man lowered the pretty mouth further down the shaft of his cock. Wet heat was running along the thick vein as the tip touched the back of Kurama’s throat. His hips jerked as the kitsune began to deep throat the entire shaft. Damn the man was talented with his mouth. Saliva coated him as a hand enclosed around his sac. "Fuck, I’m going to cum."

Kurama was thankful for the warning. It only took another minute before the hot seed began pouring out of his lover’s member. As Yusuke trembled he continued to suck on the shaft, wanting to feel the man inside him. His own cock was hard and throbbing but he’d wanted to experience the man taking him. He had no false ideas of Yusuke knowing how to be gentle or loving. The man would fuck him hard and fast. The thickness began to grow in his mouth as he prepared the man for another round. "Get on your knees, Yusuke."

He complied, feeling his lusts renewed by the talented man. As he got to his knees, Kurama began rubbing something cold but thick along his shaft. An ample amount was placed on the tip. He found himself between the man’s parted thighs. Taking a deep breath he knew exactly what the man wanted. His member jerked as it neared the man’s slit. Seeing the lust shining in those green eyes made his tip weep.

Kurama leaned back against the couch and wasn’t surprised when the man pushed his legs back exposing his entrance. He was about the same size as Hiei so it wouldn’t be too painful. Very slowly, the tip was rubbed across the puckered ring. Reaching between them he found his swollen shaft and began stroke it gently. The detective began to push into the tight opening. He hissed in pain at the initial entry, the head pushing quickly past the muscle.

Yusuke moaned filling the tight walls wrapping around the head of his cock. Gods, Kurama had a tight ass. The need to bury himself made him move. The going was easier as he forced himself deeper into the man’s body. Right as he fully imbedded himself, the fox jumped. Repeating the action, he found the spot that made him gasp in pleasure. The thrusts came at a fast but steady pace as he let himself get lost in the feeling of the walls gripping his cock like a vise.

Kurama felt his world spinning as Yusuke made sure to brush against his sweet spot with every thrust. He doubted the man knew what he was hitting but seemed to know it made him scream in pleasure. As the man pumped within him, he stroked his own cock. As suspected the man was fucking him without any care. "Faster, go faster."

Yusuke complied, his eyes roaming over the delicate hands stroking the man’s member. It was thick and long, the man was beautifully made. Kurama’s moan of release made his own claim him. The hot seed began to fill the man’s ass as sticky fluid oozed out of the kitsune’s tip. It sprayed across the slick chest, ending near the thin collarbone.

Kurama frowned when Yusuke moved to the side of him and collapsed on the couch. Deciding to clean them both up he walked into his bathroom. His footsteps were soft along the emerald green carpet. It wasn’t his idea of starting a relationship but at least he knew that Yusuke could find him attractive enough to sleep with. How the boy would feel in the morning was another thing he had to think about. He was still planning on marrying Keiko. How would he react in the morning?

Walking back out to the living room he heard the soft snoring before he neared the couch. Yusuke had fallen asleep while hanging over the edge. Giving in to his more softer side, he went about cleaning the boy. Wiping away any evidence of the activities. It was hard but he managed to get the boxers back on and the heavy form situated on the couch. Yusuke didn’t move the whole time, having passed out. The last thing he did was place a thin blanket to keep him from getting a chill.

Yusuke groaned feeling his temples throbbing harshly. What the fuck? Had Yomi managed to sneak in last night and beat him senseless? His stomach pitched as he sat up. The first thing he noticed was the silence that greeted him. When had Kuwabara left? Images flashed through his mind and he gasped. No! He hadn’t been that drunk had he? Looking around there was no evidence of it. He wasn’t dressed but he was wearing his boxers.

Swearing he stood up and blinked from the strong sun. The light was blinding and made tears mist. A small note was on the coffee table. Not sure if he wanted to read it, he grabbed the little paper. Flipping it open he sighed and read out loud, "Yusuke, there will be something in the fridge for your hangover. I made you some tea."

Well if the man was still considerate enough to concern himself over a hangover then he must have dreamed everything. Kurama wasn’t one for forgiveness. An image of him fucking the man hard as he screamed made him cringe. That had to be one vivid dream. The kitsune would never let himself be taken in such a manner. Guilt filled him remembering how his mouth had captured the man’s. Gods, had he seduced his friend, thrown himself at the man like a bitch in heat? No, it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. Kurama was nice looking but wasn’t gay and neither was he. Hell neither of them was even bi-sexual. It was just an intoxicated dream, best to forget it.

He folded the blanket back up and went into the fridge. Sure enough there was a cup with tea sitting in there with his name on it. Trusting the man completely, he swigged it down. His stomach began to settle as he got dressed. Keiko would be expecting him to head over today. Could he face her with the images so fresh in his mind? Yes, it wasn’t real. Nothing had changed between him and Kurama, nothing.

Kurama pushed the meat around on his plate not wanting to believe what Kuwabara was saying. The man had come over thirty minutes after he’d arrived home. Probably for a free meal, since Shizuru worked late. He didn’t mind the company and he had plenty of food. "Is that what he said?"

"Yeah, damn idiot. Doesn’t even remember as far as me leaving. I told him not to drink that much, he isn’t his mother. Not sure what he was trying to prove. He’s lucky you let him stay or he would have done something stupid. Bastard can’t remember shit he says and thinks it’s funny." Kuwabara noticed the color draining from the man’s face. Just like Kurama to worry about one of his friends. "Well, don’t worry yourself over it. This is Yusuke we are talking about."

"You’re right," Kurama placed the fork down, his appetite was gone now. So, Yusuke didn’t remember what had happened between them. It saddened him to know it but there was nothing he could do. He wasn’t stupid enough to go up to the man and say, ‘Hey, remember fucking me?’ Had he been that drunk? He had passed out right afterwards. There was one way to find out for sure and that go talk to the man. See if he mentioned it. Maybe it was a lie so he wouldn’t have to tell Kuwabara what had happened between them. It was worth a shot.

Yusuke almost froze when he spotted the redhead walking his way. It’d been over two months since he’d seen the man. Not since that night, he’d been avoiding him like the plague. He just wasn’t sure how he’d react around him now. It was hard being around Keiko as it was, he didn’t need the added pressure. The more he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t into the same sex he knew he was kidding himself. Every male that came within distance he found himself comparing them to Kurama.

What was it about the man that had affected him so deeply? He still loved Keiko but something was missing. He no longer had the desire to be by her side or try to sleep with her. A week after that night, he’d made a move on her. Finally, they’d gotten past the dating scene. Yet as he found himself buried deep within her body, he hadn’t been able to finish. Her being naive believed that he had. How could he tell her that he’d suddenly lost his erection in the middle of their first sexual encounter?

He wasn’t sure if it was a dream or had been real. All he knew was that if it wasn’t a dream then he wanted it to become a reality. Yet how could he without hurting Keiko. Hell he wasn’t even sure how Kurama felt about him besides considering him a good friend and he hadn’t been that recently. One didn’t alienate his friends. Besides if Kurama did care why hadn’t he picked up the phone in the last two months? It might have made him feel better knowing the man cared enough to give him a ring.

As the man turned in his direction his heart plummeted towards the grassy earth. Running up to redhead was a very well-shaped blonde. The girl didn’t bother to hide the smile as she threw herself into the kitsune’s arms. He leaned forward to place a soft kiss upon the girl’s waiting mouth. Yusuke felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. He hadn’t heard of the man dating anyone, who was she?

Kurama gently pushed the girl away feeling somewhat overwhelmed of the whole situation. The girl was the daughter of a friend of his mother’s. They’d been introduced two weeks ago and the girl was already clinging to him like a pair of wet jeans. Not that he minded the attention, it just he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. Not after the failure of Yusuke. He wasn’t sure if he could give his heart to another. Hell, he knew he couldn’t because the boy still had a firm grip on it. No matter how much he wished it wasn’t so.

He smiled seeing Keiko’s change of attitude as she came rushing forward to greet them. If what Kuwabara said was true then the news was that Keiko and Yusuke were now intimate. The man didn’t remember being intimate with him nor would it ever happen again. The girl was pushing up the date on their wedding, Yusuke was forever lost to him. It was best not to let him see how effected he really was.

Perhaps this way, it would appear as if he was okay with the way things were. He didn’t want to alienate the man any more than necessary. If he couldn’t have Yusuke for his lover than he wished to remain his friend. The girl would be gone by the end of the month but she’d be good for appearance sake at this get together. He didn’t want to feel out of place having to watch the couple together. "Evening Keiko."

"Hey, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend." Keiko beamed at the pretty girl. She looked a little on the tart side but as long as the kitsune was happy. It also eased her fear that the man was interested in Yusuke. She’d scolded herself many a time that Kurama wasn’t swinging on that side of the fence. It wasn’t so much him bothering her now but Yusuke. She didn’t want to lose him now but each now they were on borrowed time. That much she was certain of. Each morning she tried to find a way to make things work. She hadn’t wasted all this time just to give up a month before the wedding. They’d slept together once and that had been disappointing for her. It didn’t hurt much considering it was her first time. Yusuke had been attentive and considerate, making sure she was ready. When he’d pulled out the look on his face still haunted her. He’d looked at her like he was seeing a stranger, as if the wrong person was in the bed. He stayed at her house on the weekends but all they did was sleep in the same bed. She didn’t push the issue, fear of pushing him away. It wasn’t until last week when he’d been having a nightmare when she felt true remorse. He’d been calling a name in his sleep, it wasn’t her’s.

"This is my friend Aheko, this is Keiko." He ignored the looks he was receiving from Yusuke and Kuwabara. Let them stare and think what they wanted. The smile remained on his face as they spoke. The girl was really nice to look upon, she just wasn’t a loudmouth, feisty, hot-tempered, irresistible detective. He let her wrap the scrawny arm around his waist in a tight embrace. It did nothing for him but wasn’t offensive either. "How about I introduce you to the others?"

Yusuke didn’t bother even saying hello, just nodded that he realized she was there. The tart had her arms wrapped around the man’s middle like a leech. Did he really like that attention? Something closely resembling jealousy reared it’s ugly head as the girl began looking up at the kitsune with adoring eyes. He wanted to snap at her and tell her to fuck off. No, Kurama didn’t want to go see a movie later.

Kurama didn’t get that involved into the conversation as everyone crowded around in order to get their say in. So the wedding was in little over a month. He should be happy for Yusuke but he couldn’t muster the joy. He doubted he’d attend which made him feel like shit when Kuwabara brought up the fact that the man would need groomsmen. He didn’t want to watch Yusuke swear himself to the girl, much less help it happen. He politely said he’d see about it but knew the answer. Seeing the man repeat vows and undying love was not an option for his heart.

Yusuke sighed as they talked about the wedding. He wasn’t so sure he’d be able to go along with it. Not when he had doubts about him and Keiko. Doubts about his own preferences in life. What if he was indeed bi-sexual and had a thing for Kurama? It was more than clear the man didn’t want anything to do with him. Why else would he bring the tart here? Why did he even fucking care? His eyes lingered over the man. He was still beautiful, still perfect. He felt his body respond as his eyes roamed over the parted lips. Had he really kissed the man? Was it possible that earth shattering kiss had been real? Anger filled him when the girl kissed the lips in question. He’d prove to himself and the other man that Keiko was the one for him.

Kurama felt his blood run cold as the other man walked up behind Keiko and draped a hand over the girl’s shoulder. She squeaked when her backside bumped into his front. He could only assume that she’d backed into the man’s arousal. With his sensitive smell it was easy to pick up the scent while being downwind of the two. Yusuke was extremely turned on and Keiko was feeling the benefits of it. It caused pain to be reminded of what he’d never have. Not wanting to appear effected, he finally placed his arm around his date’s shoulders. The girl tightened her hold, letting her fingers roam along his chest.

Yusuke almost growled seeing the girl’s fingers run over the nipples he was sure he himself had once caressed. The image of the man standing in the bedroom wearing nothing but boxers flashed in his mind. That he did remember without any doubt. It made his body ache, his member twitched against Keiko’s ass and she gasped. Dammit, he couldn’t help it. Thinking about the man was making him hard and needy. At least the girl was in front of him and the man couldn’t see it.

Kurama groaned as the scent got thicker. His eyes narrowed as Yusuke leaned forward to place a kiss on Keiko’s neck. The girl shivered at the touch. He frowned smelling her arousal soon joining in with the man’s. Keiko’s hands went into the thick mess of Yusuke’s hair. Kuwabara’s mutter of ‘Get a room,’ was ignored as Yusuke pulled the girl back closer and rubbed his cock against her ass. Watching them two make out was hard enough but when Keiko opened her mouth he felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. Her admission of love made a foreign sting form beneath his lids.

"I love you too." Yusuke kept his eyes on the ground unable to look up at the other man. The words felt hollow as they left his mouth. He cared about her but it wasn’t the same as being in love. He couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with her, not and be truly happy.

Kurama couldn’t take it anymore and pried the girl off him. If he had to watch them another minute he was going to do something so unlike himself. There was only one other time he could remember shedding a tear and that had been accepting the death of his partner. Yusuke wasn’t his partner but what he felt was stronger. His love of another was being rubbed into his face. He knew it wasn’t the man’s fault, he wasn’t doing it on purpose unlike himself. He’d allowed the girl to get close to prove a point, maybe hoping Yusuke would notice him. It hadn’t turned out that way, why would it? He had the woman he loved in his arms. "Excuse me for a moment please."

"So polite, he’s adorable." Aheko clasped her hands together in glee. The man was simply a doll and hers. It wasn’t everyday a guy like that became available. He was sweet, kind and damn was he hot. She let her eyes roam over his back as he walked towards the house. Probably going for the restroom, "Not to mention he’s wonderful in other areas."

"You mean you two have?" Keiko was almost shocked that they’d done it so soon but she didn’t know Kurama that well. As long as he wasn’t sniffing after Yusuke then she didn’t care what he did. The girl was blushing with a huge smile on her face. So they had done something, "How serious are you?"

Yusuke wanted to smack the bitch. She looked too pleased with herself. He didn’t care to hear it dammit. The idea of Kurama between the girl’s legs was offending. The man needed someone better, someone that could know him for who he really was. Love him for all that he was. Not some tramp that wouldn’t ever look past her own needs. Where had the man gone anyways?

Kurama closed the bathroom door and sat down on the floor. The tile was cold but not uncomfortable. The burning sensation of tears blurred his vision. Dammit he wasn’t going to cry, not here. A single tear slid down his cheek, the most emotion he’d shown in centuries. He wasn’t one to let them show but his chest felt tight. A thick knot was threatening to choke him as the man’s words rang in his ears. He’d know it, hearing him express the feelings made it more real. That night had done nothing but show him what he’d never have. It stung knowing Yusuke didn’t remember it and would most likely be pissed if he did. It meant everything to him and absolutely nothing to the other participant. The boy had been drunk, not in control of himself. Hell, he could have been seeing a female under him for all Kurama knew. Or he’d been so wasted it had been Keiko fucking him in the boy’s mind.

He’d waited for the man to call him or even stop by. Instead his relationship with Keiko had hit a new high so he didn’t have time in his life for the kitsune. It was just as well, being around him would have only caused more pain. Another hot tear trailed down his face, only to drip upon his shirt. He didn’t bother wiping it away. Mourning would help him get over the loss. The knock at the door brought his attention to the present, "Just a minute."

"Are you okay man?" Kuwabara asked as the man opened the door. The man’s eyes were cloudy as if something were in them or he was about to cry. Knowing Kurama it had to be the first because the man was incapable of shedding tears. "Keiko and that girl are having a blast out there with my sister. I swear women, all they know how to do is gossip."

"Yeah, I’m heading out can you give her a ride home?" When Kuwabara nodded he went out the front door not wanting to see anyone. He was on the verge of breaking down but he was at a loss. He had no idea how to let Yusuke know how he felt except coming out and saying it. How could he do that after hearing the man pronounce his love for the girl before everyone? As he stepped out of the front door, he heard fate laughing at him. Yusuke was at Keiko’s car getting something. What kind of timing was that? He wouldn’t run though, he wasn’t a coward. If the man didn’t want him then he didn’t. Taking a deep breath, he let his feet carry him towards the man. What harm could talking to him do?

"Leaving already?" Yusuke heard the quiver in his voice and almost swore. This was fucking Kurama, there was no reason to be nervous. Except he had a major hard on for him. Well, if the man didn’t look so damn girly then this wouldn’t be a problem. Anger filled his eyes as he felt heat rush in his veins, not now. Instantly he thought about the tart still in the house. Kurama had his bitch, so he had no reason to bother with the strange desires.

"Yes, I promised my mother I’d stop by before heading home." He was almost beside the man now. Arousal still cloaked him even now. A month and the man would be wed to the girl. Any chance he had would have been permanently railroaded. As much as he was hurting he didn’t want to alienate the man. Taking a deep breath, he smiled. He lifted his face in order to look into those deep brown eyes, bedroom eyes. Why bother hiding his fucking emotions? He loved the man, there was no shame in that. Perhaps if he got him alone then they could talk about what happened. It might not be the wisest course but what else was there to do? Maybe being back in the house and in a romantic atmosphere would jog the man’s memory. "While I have you out here, I was wanting to ask if you wanted to stop by for the weekend. It’s been some time since I’ve had one off."

"Yeah, I’ll see what I can do. I’ll be busy this coming up weekend but I’ll see after that and give you a call." Yusuke was shocked that he was able to force the lie out. There was no way he was spending the night with the man again. If that night was just a dream, he didn’t know what would happen if he did go over. He’d be too tempted to make it reality. The man was offering him to hang out not have himself molested by a horny friend. Spending time around him wouldn’t help. "I’ll ask Kuwabara later and see what day he has free."

"I’m not inviting Kuwabara, I’m just asking you Yusuke." Kurama looked him straight in the eyes, not hiding what he wanted. If the man turned him away then it would just be the end of things. Would he make up an excuse now? Was the man too blockheaded to realize that he was asking him to spend the weekend as more than just friends? His eyes roamed over the boy’s parted lips. He longed to kiss him again, to explore that mouth. He just admitted to wanting him alone, what would the man say now?

Yusuke felt his breath catch at the look in the man’s eyes. Was that lust or something stronger? No, he was wishful thinking again. He was saying just him because Kuwabara tended to be annoying most nights. It wasn’t for what he was thinking. Which was the reason why he couldn’t. Kurama didn’t want him like that, he had to let it go. "I’ll see what I can do. I’ll call you okay."

Kurama looked at the invitation. It was extremely beautiful and elegantly made. Someone had put a lot of thought into the preparations. Explaining why Keiko was so hyped up over the event. He hadn’t seen any of them in weeks. He didn’t want to hear about the wedding or anything to do with them. It hurt to much to know that he had failed. Today the man he loved would be offering himself to another. He’d waited for Yusuke to call but it never happened.

He’d seen the look in the man’s eyes that day. It was a finality that made his heart break and shatter. The man was marrying Keiko, he would never belong to him. As his car pulled up to the church, he eyed his belongings in the back. This was it, he had to get it done. The wedding wasn’t for another forty minutes but it was usual for those in it to arrive early. Yusuke should be in there with Kuwabara.

What belongings he was taking with him were in the backseat. It wasn’t much just some clothes, personal belongings and some valuables. He wasn’t sure what kind of life he was going to return to upon heading back into the Makai for awhile but he would need to survive. He’d told his mother that he was going on an extended trip to think some things through. He wasn’t sure if he would ever come back. His apartment was paid up for a year but he didn’t see himself returning that soon. As soon as he spoke to Yusuke one final time he was leaving the Ningenkai. Knowing he’d be staying to watch Yusuke start a family was too painful for him.

Only a few cars were in the parking lot but he recognized Keiko’s. Going inside the church he saw the man he was seeking. Yusuke looked adorable in the rented tuxedo. Kuwabara was standing next to him, speaking in hushed tones. Taking a deep breath he had to get this over with. Then he’d feel free to go on with his plans of leaving. He knew he looked out of place wearing jeans and a sweater. Kuwabara stated as much as he joined them. "I’m afraid I won’t be able to make the wedding. Mind if I speak to Yusuke alone for a few minutes?"

Yusuke couldn’t speak as the man looked him over. He was having a hard enough time doing this. Somehow he’d known Kurama wouldn’t show up for the event. He’d told himself as long as the man didn’t show then he could go through with it. Seeing him was making it hard to even breath. Did he feel angry that he’d been neglecting their friendship? It would be understandable if he did. But Yusuke couldn’t see himself being around the man without giving into temptation.

"I’ll only take a few minutes of your time. Look, I’ve done everything I could think of to make my feelings known. After months of flirting, trying to get your attention, I’ve gotten nothing. Even after sharing a night with you, you still manage to look past me. I’m at a loss as to what to do because I know no matter what I try you will never really see me as anything more than a friend. I just came to tell you goodbye and I wish you the best." Kurama felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He’d say what he had to and be done with it. "I love you, Yusuke."

Yusuke couldn’t move as the man spun on his heels. This couldn’t be happening, not today. His heart screamed at him that it had indeed happened. The man he’d been wanted to be with had just admitted to loving him and wanting to be with him. But he hadn’t seen it? ‘Even after sharing a night with you,’ that’s what Kurama had said. That night hadn’t been a dream or self delusion but fact. He’d been with the man, his first. Why hadn’t he said anything? ‘Because he was waiting on you dammit.’ His mother came into the church briefly greeting the departing redhead. "Kurama."

The next thirty minutes were a blur to him. His mind recalling all the times the man had indeed made a pass at him but he’d been to stubborn and stupid to see it for what it was. That day out by the cars, the man had been asking him to come spend time with him. There had been lust and a stronger emotion there but he’d been too scared to accept it. The love he’d been wanting had been there before his eyes and he had been too blind to see it.

The music started and he snapped back to the present. The wedding was now starting, he was about to make a grave mistake. As Keiko continued to walk towards him, he wasn’t sure what to do. The blood rushed from his face as she stopped before him all smiles. He couldn’t marry her not when he didn’t love her that way. This was wrong, it would piss her off and those that had come to witness it but he wouldn’t hurt the one man that he loved even more. These people would get over it and so would Keiko. Yet, he’d be living a lie by remaining with her.

"I’m sorry Keiko. I can’t do this, I thought I could. If we got married I’d make you miserable within a year." He felt like weeping when the tears piled high in her eyes. He wouldn’t tell her exactly why she was being dumped at the alter. She would have to live with it as it was. To have everyone here know she was being ditched because he preferred a man was too much for her to endure. Instead he treaded around the truth, "I should have told you before but I’m in love with someone else."

"I....I know, I didn’t want to accept it but I guess it’s better this way. I saw him leaving in his car. Better go before he gets too far." Keiko smiled through her tears. Well, this sucked. Gasps were heard around the church as he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before running down the isle. People screamed for him to return but she watched him go. She’d had a feeling this would happen when Kurama had shown up. Well, she’d tried at least. She just wasn’t the person to make him happy. Anger just wouldn’t surface as she saw him frantically searching the area, no doubt trying to sense where the man had gone. How could she be angry when it was apparent how much Yusuke loved the man?

Kurama walked up the steps and felt elated. Soon he’d be in the Makai, having taken the portal closest to Genkai’s. He knew the temple was empty, that both females would be at the wedding. He’d taken the time to go say goodbye to his mother again. His car was parked close but he was going to walk the rest of the way. The urge to say goodbye to Puu was strong. The spirit animal would be up there, a piece of Yusuke. The echo of his steps were hollow and deafening as he cleared the top.

Sure enough only Puu’s aura greeted him in the large place. The over grown canary lifted it’s head and made a noise. Before he could do anything it moved towards him. The long neck wrapped around his body, in a tight hold. What the hell was wrong with the thing? Reaching out he stroked the neck, "Release me, Puu."

Kurama became aggravated as it refused to let go. Short of hurting the thing, he had no way to get free. Hurting it meant, hurting Yusuke and he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Looking for other options, he eyed the beams above his head. Frowning he withdrew his whip, minus the thorns. The animal screeched as he yanked himself up and free. Not wanting to be caught again he leapt for the door. As he stepped out, he had to jump to stop himself from being scooped up by a beak. The damn thing was being annoying now.

He swore as it landed in front of him wings outstretched. The bloody menace was getting in his way every direction he tried. It was huge but fast, he wouldn’t be able to get past without stopping him. What was wrong with the thing? Just as he was debating on what to do the bird, landed in front of him. Wings wrapped around his body. He found himself pulled roughly up against a feathery chest as it squawked in triumph. "Dammit, this could have gone better."

"Thanks Puu, just what I’ve always wanted." Yusuke came into view as both heads turned to him. He’d have to thank Puu later for holding the man. There was no telling how long it would have taken him to catch up if the man had made it to the portal. Had he really been leaving for good? The idea caused pain, he didn’t want to lose the man. "I think you can let him go now."

"Why didn’t you just ask for a ribbon while you were at it?" Kurama brushed off the jacket noticing that Yusuke was still in his tuxedo. A sheen of perspiration covered his brow, and he seemed out of breath. Had he run here? "What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your reception?"

"Hell no, hard to have a reception without a wedding. I didn’t do it," Yusuke closed the distance between them as Puu went to go lay near the steps. The kitsune didn’t move but had his head held down. He had a lot of apologizing to do and didn’t know where to begin. Had the man been hurting this whole time? "I couldn’t go through with it. I care about Keiko, I always will but she’s not the one I want. I’m sorry, I’ve been an idiot. I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea if what I remembered was nothing more than a drunken fantasy. You never said anything, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. I spoke to you today not to put any pressure on you but I wanted you to know how I felt before leaving. Don’t ruin your chance at a future with Keiko because you are worried about me. I will not have that on my conscious." Kurama clenched his fist, he wouldn’t have the man out of pity. If he came to him it had to be because of love. "I don’t want to get in between you two."

"Don’t be stupid." Yusuke yelled at him, his anger raw. "Stop talking like that. I know I do things without thinking. For the first time in my life I stopped to think about something and it almost cost me the person I love. I responded without thinking that one night, I wanted you. I don’t regret it and haven’t since. I just didn’t know what to believe. If you didn’t want to come between us then you shouldn’t have returned my kiss nor let me have you. How the hell do you think it made me feel? I wasn’t sure if it was real but I was too scared to ask. I even tried to be with Keiko but she wasn’t you. I knew then that I wanted only you but didn’t think it was returned. You come up to me and tell me you love me. Dammit, I left her standing there with all my family and friends screaming at my departing back. I’ve just pissed off everyone because I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you. If you are going to open your mouth at least do it for something appropriate instead of talking crap."

Yusuke saw the man just standing there, fists clenched. He reached out to cup the smooth cheek. Something warm and wet brushed along the digits. Was Kurama crying? Could he believe it of the man? There was no resistance as he brought the face up to look at him. The emerald green eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Pain that he had caused, "What do I have to do to make you understand that I love you. Don’t tell me to be with someone else, when the very person I want is right here."

Kurama let the mouth capture his in a hot kiss. He could taste his own tears as he opened his mouth. His arms went around the chest that was so close. Moaning into the wet recess, he probed with his tongue. He could feel the other man’s emotions being delivered with each caress of his tongue. His member twitched with the idea of claiming the man for his own. This time for real, both of them wanting it. "Yusuke, I want you."

"Where’s your car? I say we head back to your apartment. I don’t think Genkai would be too pleased coming back to find us together in her home." Yusuke smiled as the man agreed. More needed to be said but Kurama wouldn’t be going anywhere without him now. Taking his hand they began walking down the steps towards the road. Puu looked up briefly as they left. "You might want to take your phone off the hook though. I’m sure Kuwabara might be stopping by."

"That is fine, I wasn’t planning on being home. My mother won’t be calling anytime soon, not until I get in touch with her. I’ll make sure to lock the door." Kurama squeezed the hand in his, they couldn’t be at the apartment soon enough. He took the keys out of his pocket as they climbed in.

The harsh sound of someone pounding on the door was heard. It was relentless as Kurama leaned over his soon to be lover. They’d only managed some kissing and strip before someone was trying to interrupt them. Ignoring the hoarse cries of Kuwabara, his tongue flicked over the tiny nipple. The brown peak hardened as Yusuke moaned. Hands went in his hair, pushing him further into the touch.

"Kurama, don’t tease me." Yusuke rasped as the soft palm wrapped around his cock. The moments of kissing had gotten him to the point of wanting to explode. As much as he wanted to feel himself buried inside his fox, he was content to let the man have his way, if only for tonight. The fingers were stroking his cock as the tongue worked it’s way down. When it finally ran along his tip, it was seeping fluid. Giving in to the need he pushed himself up and ignored the protests. The one time they’d been together, Kurama had made sure he’d enjoyed it twice.

Kurama didn’t protest as he found himself on his back. Yusuke climbed over him but scooted back at his urging. The man’s member was pointing towards his mouth as the knees were placed beside his head. Reaching up he gripped the shaft, loving the soft feel of the rod. His own moan echoed Yusuke’s as a mouth kissed the tip of his cock. The exploration was timid and inexperienced but drove his passion to a new height. Yusuke seemed content to lick the base while running a hand over the upper half.

Yusuke moved his hips as Kurama engulfed his member into his warm cavern. As much as he wanted to return the favor he didn’t think he could get the man down his throat without gagging. He pushed the tip deeper into his mouth as his own cock was being devoured. He almost panicked when he felt Kurama backing up, instead he moaned in disappointment. The feel of something hot and wet ran along his puckered entrance. His eyes closed, as he caught his breath. The feeling was foreign but made his gut twist in pleasure. The tongue brushed across the ring again, teasing it. "Oh, don’t stop."

Kurama swirled his tongue around the untried entrance while massaging the twin sacs in one hand and stroking the throbbing cock in the other. He gripped the shaft tight as he plunged his tongue inside the tight passage. The muscles gripped him, as Yusuke pushed back seeking more of the torment. Pulling out, he coated the puckered hole with saliva. The hand freed the sac, a finger ran over the ring. He encouraged the boy to relax.

Yusuke slumped forward, completely forgetting about the member he’d just been pleasuring. He hissed in pain as a digit was pushed into his untried passage. He groaned when Kurama stopped to reach for the tube he’d grabbed earlier. Knowing what it was he wasn’t surprised when the feeling of the cold gel was placed along the outer ring. It made the entrance of the finger easier this time around. He felt Kurama’s tongue licking his ball as the finger began to move within him. Another was added just as he felt adjusted to the intrusion. Guild plagued him knowing that Kurama was preparing him, unlike what he’d done before. He’d just shoved his cock straight up the man’s ass.

Kurama widened his fingers, stretching the boy’s walls to accommodate his larger girth. As he pulled the fingers out, he moved out from under him. Yusuke let him do as he pleased and position him on his side. Crawling up behind the boy he brushed his chest against the detective’s back while kissing his neck. The boy pushed against him wanting more. His hand ran down the length of the tense thigh. Feeling he’d teased enough, he pushed the knee towards Yusuke’s chest.

Yusuke felt the tip of Kurama brushing against his lower opening. At the kitsune’s urging he held the leg up, feeling the man inserting fingers into him. He wanted to cum already but let the man do as he pleased. A extremely slick cock found the tiny ring. As the man nibbled on his neck, the thick shaft pushed past the outer ring and he had to force himself to relax. The feeling was intense as Kurama began to fill him. Just when he was about to speak the man hit something. It made him moan into the pillow, "Do that again."

Kurama complied, brushing across the man’s spot. The boy was tight around him, he wasn’t sure how long he’d last before finding his release. Wanting to make sure Yusuke did as well, he reached around him. As he thrust up, he stroked the dripping shaft. The lubricant on his hand made it easier, as he moved within the man. Each time making sure to hit the man’s prostate. Desire heightened hearing the lusty moans of pleasure. Yusuke made no try to soften or lower his voice as he ravaged his sweet spot.

Yusuke saw white as Kurama thrust into him. It felt too damn good, he felt his orgasm begin. His cock pulsed as the kitsune shoved harder forcing the seed to gush out in heavy streaks. The man’s grip tightened around the shaft as he felt the thick cock begin to pulse. As it was pulled out he couldn’t help but wince. Even somewhat sore he felt elated as he panted. "Is that asshole still knocking?"

"Yes, I’m afraid he heard us." Kurama snuggled against the man’s back. Would their other friend come and disturb their moment? Kuwabara could be persistent if anything. He frowned when Yusuke got up and went in search of his robe.

"I’m going to go tell him to leave. He knows we are in here, I don’t want him hanging around. I know I’ll have a lot of people to answer to but that’s something I’ll work out later. I just want to spend tonight with you without people pissing me off. Don’t worry I swear if anyone says anything out the way to you I’ll kick their ass." Yusuke leaned down to give him a quick kiss across the mouth. "I’ll be back in a few minutes."

Kurama smiled as he pulled the sheet over his nude form. He heard Yusuke’s voice as it rose in anger but didn’t get up. He’d want to handle it on his own. His arms wrapped around the pillow as he yawned. Soon his toushin would return minus a now shocked Kuwabara. Whatever happened he would stand beside the man, as he’d always done. With that thought in mind he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.