so I owe you guys an explanation - please read this if you have the time and energy to do so <3

[314159]

”When I was young... rather than thinking ‘I want to be a celebrity’, I thought more along the lines of ‘I want people to be cheerful because of me.’” -- Seungri
Hi friends ♥ I spent most of this morning crying over the lovely comments some of you left me on the meme I posted last entry. I just. I put an extraordinary amount of effort into

Comments

[314159]

yeah i really do :( sorry you have to see me like this so frequently :( you'd think i'd have learned by now... anyway, thank you thank you thank you for always being so supportive, hun ♥♥♥

[thegreycoin]

your life goal isn't working out because all of us - you included - are human beings: conscious, thinking, feeling, and most importantly, born free, with natural and unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of our own happiness

[314159]

cat, this comment is legit amazing, thank you ;____; ♥ you are so wise and your advice always helps me out. i will try my best to break away from this way of thinking. i love you ♥♥

[hakuen]

Well, this sounds like some really good stuff to work with a therapist on. We are all capable of evolution in our thinking patterns, even though they may take years and years of tiny steps and some setbacks and false starts. Never give up on yourself, is the biggest thing, because you can and will move forward and learn healthier and more rational ways to view yourself. It's a whole huge pile of reflexes that are trained in and mostly unconscious/out of control... it really is eventually possible to view and retrain them with some good help and the time and energy to work on it. Which you probably won't have for a while, huh. ;o

[314159]

thank you so much for this comment ♥♥ it sucks because this is how i've been thinking for my entire life, but hopefully it's never too late to change~ i will work on this over the summer, definitely. thanks so much for your advice, it really helped ♥

[314159]

;_____; thank you bb ♥♥ ilu!

[aescapes]

i haven't known you for very long, but this is the point where i can say i identify with you implicitly about so many of these issues. everyone has "issues", but when it comes to how incredibly difficult and life-impeding this has become for you/me/anyone, it's time to talk to someone professional about how to train yourself to be more constructive. not to be a blindly ~happy peppy positive~ person, but to be a healthily functioning human being.

it's brave to admit this to yourself, and to everyone on your list. i believe you have the courage to take the next step and talk to someone about it who can help you.

love yourself, sweet one. you deserve it. ♥

[314159]

;______; margot, you are so unbelievably sweet ide ♥♥♥ thank you so much. also, thanks for the lj message, i will respond to it soon! i love you ;; ♥