(May 14th) (Bleach / Phoenix Wright) Order In The Court: Part XIV
Title: Order In The Court: Part XIV
Day/Theme: 14. A head case, but his record was clean
Series: Bleach / Phoenix Wright
Character/Pairing: Defense Team, Renji
Rating: G
The defense team surrounded Abarai Renji.
"Would you like some tea?" Maya asked. "And where did you get those cool tattoos? You look so stylish with them!"
"No, Maya," Phoenix said sternly. "You can't."
"Can't give him tea?"
"Can't have tattoos."
"Thank you, Phoenix," Mia said, patting him on the shoulder, "for saying it before I could. And don't sulk, Maya. Now. Your name is Abarai Renji, and you are vice-captain of the Sixth Division?"
"You got it." Renji glowered. "And I don't know why you lot are all asking me questions. It's not like I've done anything wrong."
"Ah . . . you did head off to secretly do bankai training with a known intruder under suspicious circumstances," Apollo said.
"Nothing about that in regulations," Renji said quickly. "Just check."
"And you did previously go off-duty without permission --"
"Taking accumulated flexitime, page seventy-nine, subsection six."
"-- and get into a fight with the intruders rather than giving the alarm --"
"Pre-emptive offensive stance, page one hundred and fifty-nine, footnote eight."
"-- and, according to your captain, 'looked at him funny'."
Renji twitched. "Who, me?" he said unconvincingly.
Phoenix fondled his Magatama. (He hoped Maya never asked for it back. It was far too useful.) Yes, he could see the unmistakeable dark chains of Psyche-Locks firmly meshed around Renji's body in a spiritual sort of way.
"I think there's something that makes you nervous about your captain," he hazarded.
Renji twitched again. "Nope," he said. "Not a thing. Absolutely nothing. Me and the captain, we've got this perfect understanding thing going on. Total empathy. Absolute loyalty and admiration. Really."
"I don't think so," Phoenix said. "In fact, I think it's quite the opposite."
"Let's see you prove it," Renji challenged. "Show me one point on which the Captain and I might have disagreed."
Phoenix hunted through the pile of evidence on the table. "Here!" he said, brandishing . . . "Oh, wait, that's one of Godot's coffee mugs. Just a moment. Here! Look at this set of photographs of Captain Kuchiki's sister in a bikini that we found in your desk drawers!"
"Give me those!" Renji screamed. One of the Psyche-Locks cracked.
"I don't think so," Phoenix said, tossing them across the room to Apollo. "And I think there's more than that."
"So we had a few issues about his sister," Renji snarled. "That's no reason to assume anything more than that."
"And this?" Phoenix enquired, producing the Arrest Order for Kuchiki Rukia, signed by Kuchiki Byakuya.
Another lock snapped. Renji flinched. "A Captain's gotta do what a Captain's gotta do," he said feebly.
"And the fact that you're constantly saying that you're going to challenge Captain Kuchiki as soon as you're strong enough?"
"Who says that?" Renji demanded.
"Pretty much everyone," Maya chimed in. "In fact, whenever we mentioned you, they all said, oh yes, he keeps on swearing he's going to challenge Captain Kuchiki as soon as he's strong enough, and then he has another drink, and then he falls over."
"Oh." Another lock went ker-ping. "But -- but -- all of this is just hearsay and rumours and circumstantial evidence! Show me one thing that proves I actually have really conflicted feelings about my Captain and not the normal wanting to kick his ass! Everyone wants to kick his ass! Just ask them!"
Phoenix gravely pulled out a folder. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to use this."
"Bah!" Renji tossed his hair. "Nothing you have in there can possibly affect me!"
"Oh?" Phoenix slid the folder open slowly. "Not even . . ." He dramatically flashed the pictures. "A set of nude drawings of Captain Kuchiki found under your pillow?"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Renji wailed, collapsing as the last Psyche-Lock splintered.
"Damn," Phoenix muttered. "I didn't even get to use his personal diary with all the poetry in it."
"Pass me those drawings, Nick," Maya said distractedly. "I want to check the evidence some more."
---
Compilation Order in the Court post.
Day/Theme: 14. A head case, but his record was clean
Series: Bleach / Phoenix Wright
Character/Pairing: Defense Team, Renji
Rating: G
The defense team surrounded Abarai Renji.
"Would you like some tea?" Maya asked. "And where did you get those cool tattoos? You look so stylish with them!"
"No, Maya," Phoenix said sternly. "You can't."
"Can't give him tea?"
"Can't have tattoos."
"Thank you, Phoenix," Mia said, patting him on the shoulder, "for saying it before I could. And don't sulk, Maya. Now. Your name is Abarai Renji, and you are vice-captain of the Sixth Division?"
"You got it." Renji glowered. "And I don't know why you lot are all asking me questions. It's not like I've done anything wrong."
"Ah . . . you did head off to secretly do bankai training with a known intruder under suspicious circumstances," Apollo said.
"Nothing about that in regulations," Renji said quickly. "Just check."
"And you did previously go off-duty without permission --"
"Taking accumulated flexitime, page seventy-nine, subsection six."
"-- and get into a fight with the intruders rather than giving the alarm --"
"Pre-emptive offensive stance, page one hundred and fifty-nine, footnote eight."
"-- and, according to your captain, 'looked at him funny'."
Renji twitched. "Who, me?" he said unconvincingly.
Phoenix fondled his Magatama. (He hoped Maya never asked for it back. It was far too useful.) Yes, he could see the unmistakeable dark chains of Psyche-Locks firmly meshed around Renji's body in a spiritual sort of way.
"I think there's something that makes you nervous about your captain," he hazarded.
Renji twitched again. "Nope," he said. "Not a thing. Absolutely nothing. Me and the captain, we've got this perfect understanding thing going on. Total empathy. Absolute loyalty and admiration. Really."
"I don't think so," Phoenix said. "In fact, I think it's quite the opposite."
"Let's see you prove it," Renji challenged. "Show me one point on which the Captain and I might have disagreed."
Phoenix hunted through the pile of evidence on the table. "Here!" he said, brandishing . . . "Oh, wait, that's one of Godot's coffee mugs. Just a moment. Here! Look at this set of photographs of Captain Kuchiki's sister in a bikini that we found in your desk drawers!"
"Give me those!" Renji screamed. One of the Psyche-Locks cracked.
"I don't think so," Phoenix said, tossing them across the room to Apollo. "And I think there's more than that."
"So we had a few issues about his sister," Renji snarled. "That's no reason to assume anything more than that."
"And this?" Phoenix enquired, producing the Arrest Order for Kuchiki Rukia, signed by Kuchiki Byakuya.
Another lock snapped. Renji flinched. "A Captain's gotta do what a Captain's gotta do," he said feebly.
"And the fact that you're constantly saying that you're going to challenge Captain Kuchiki as soon as you're strong enough?"
"Who says that?" Renji demanded.
"Pretty much everyone," Maya chimed in. "In fact, whenever we mentioned you, they all said, oh yes, he keeps on swearing he's going to challenge Captain Kuchiki as soon as he's strong enough, and then he has another drink, and then he falls over."
"Oh." Another lock went ker-ping. "But -- but -- all of this is just hearsay and rumours and circumstantial evidence! Show me one thing that proves I actually have really conflicted feelings about my Captain and not the normal wanting to kick his ass! Everyone wants to kick his ass! Just ask them!"
Phoenix gravely pulled out a folder. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to use this."
"Bah!" Renji tossed his hair. "Nothing you have in there can possibly affect me!"
"Oh?" Phoenix slid the folder open slowly. "Not even . . ." He dramatically flashed the pictures. "A set of nude drawings of Captain Kuchiki found under your pillow?"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Renji wailed, collapsing as the last Psyche-Lock splintered.
"Damn," Phoenix muttered. "I didn't even get to use his personal diary with all the poetry in it."
"Pass me those drawings, Nick," Maya said distractedly. "I want to check the evidence some more."
---
Compilation Order in the Court post.