It was interesting because in my first reading of this passage, I completely skipped over the one mention of the narrator in the beginning, so it was an absolute shock when Sally appeared....perhaps it would be more effective to add in another mention of the narrator in the beginning, just to emphasize her 'invisibility'.
As always, your writing is full of amazing detail and imagery, with the bar "smeared with neon lights and barflies" & the "reflection on the dingy metal of the paper towel dispenser" you really showed us the kind of place they were in...
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It was interesting because in my first reading of this passage, I completely skipped over the one mention of the narrator in the beginning, so it was an absolute shock when Sally appeared....perhaps it would be more effective to add in another mention of the narrator in the beginning, just to emphasize her 'invisibility'.
As always, your writing is full of amazing detail and imagery, with the bar "smeared with neon lights and barflies" & the "reflection on the dingy metal of the paper towel dispenser" you really showed us the kind of place they were in...
Nice job, Ann.
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