(for hokaidos) Cold Heart, Baby

[kais]

For: hokaidos

Title: Cold Heart, Baby
Genre: romance, very tiny almost inexistent angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: super failed reference to frozen and shinee's amigo
Length: 4,400 words
Summary: Kyungsoo takes a step back but Jongin just keeps stepping forward.
Notes: to my recipient your prompts are all so lovely i would have wrote every single one but i am incapable and unable huhu. thank you so much for the wonderful ideas and i hope i did justice to your prompt! and to my sexiu goddess, thank you for encouraging me when i was first starting this fic and reading the beginning if you were so busy too T_T



"Hurry, the prince couldn't have gone that far."

Jongin hears the yelling and he turns his head, eyes wide, at the kid standing opposite him on the dark alley. It was too narrow and yet they don't touch, just those big eyes staring back at him in fright. Jongin thinks he's too young to die right now. He's only eight years old, too small and skinny and he still wants to taste those things they call ice cream.

He opens his mouth but the other kid beats him to it.

"Please don't tell on me."

Jongin opens and closes his mouth a few more times before he nods, glancing at the light from the opening. He hears voice coming closer and he feels his heart beat pump a little bit faster.

"We need to go." he finally squeaks out, a little too high for his liking but he doesn't dwell on that, his hand shooting out from his side to grasp the kid's hand. But he only snatches thin air and he looks back at the kid, panic clear on his eyes because the voices are just around the corner.

"Come on." he pleads, finally able to grab the kid's hand. He thinks he feels something on his hand for just the briefest of seconds but then the kid's pulling his hand away, a look of pure shock on his face. Jongin looks back, mimicking his expression only because the kid's backing away, holding the hand he touched against his chest. He spares Jongin a few more seconds before running on the opposite direction - away from Jongin and towards the voices.

Jongin stays long enough to hear the relieved tones, a chorus of 'thank goodness he's safe' or 'the king will kill us if he finds out you ran away' followed by a small voice Jongin knows belongs to a boy he just met a few minutes ago. And then he's running away, back to his cousin's house with his hand cradled against his chest as well, much like how the other boy did.

He glances down and frowns when he sees his one palm sweating - just one.

Weird.

"Did you hear about the news?"

Jongin glances at Yixing, arching his brow in a silent question as he proceeds to upset the dagger on his hand. There was too much to do now that the harvest festival is near, tons of request from the palace itself that Jongin feels he's being more than an apprentice to the official blacksmith. He's sure Yixing feels the same way too, though the other male has never shown any type of annoyance at being handed so much work in such a short time.

Yixing flashes him an exasperated smile. "They say the prince's finally showing up at the harvest parade."

Jongin's hand pauses midair, hammer suspended as he gives Yixing his full attention. The King has two sons but Jongin immediately knows who his friend is referring to.

"Are you serious?" he asks, trying to mask the excitement in his voice with indifference. It's useless either way when Yixing knows how interested he is at the topic. "Because I think it'll be another disappointment to add to the growing list of disappointments."

The King has two sons, Seungsoo and Kyungsoo but only one ever shows up to every event. Seungsoo never disappoints, always present on important gathering and especially on all kinds of festivities. After all, the eldest son should be familiar with how everything works if he wants to succeed as the next king.

But the absence of the second son always sparks the interest of the people - Jongin, especially. It's vague, but he knows it was Kyungsoo he had met that fateful night years ago. Seungsoo's eyes doesn't hold as much emotions as what Jongin had saw back then.

And Jongin felt like getting lost on those eyes again. Just one more time.

"Jongin." Yixing breaks through his thoughts. "The steel's melting."

Jongin looks down at the dagger on his hand, or what was left of it. Grimacing, he pours it back down on the furnace before trying to melt what was left on his hand.

Jongin's been different with every kid ever since he could remember, if burning his friend's teddy bear was any indication. He was isolated from everyone once the elders found out, only the old ladies from the orphanage allowed to go near him and even then, they would stay at a cautious distance, afraid that Jongin will set them on fire if they get any closer.

"Are they going to kill me?" four year old Jongin asks one of the old ladies.

She looks down at him, hands him a glass of milk and smiles kindly. "No sweetie. But we have to keep you here until you can control... yourself."

Jongin tilts his head in confusion, confused as to why he should control himself. But he doesn't say anything else and simply nods, drinking his milk and handing it back to the old lady who took it with her hands wrapped with layers of towel..

It took months for Jongin to realize why he's handed a glass of milk and not those plastic cups other kids get.

The sounds of the fireworks startles Jongin and he quickly rushes outside. The people have gathered on the side of the street and Jongin could only stand on his toes to at least catch a glimpse of the parade. He could see the guards riding horses and he grins in excitement because finally, he would be able to see the youngest prince. They would be able to see the youngest prince.

When the royal insignia of the castle drew nearer, Jongin could feel his whole body heat up in excitement. Taking a deep breath, he wills himself to relax, smiling when he feels himself cool down. It will be bad to cause a ruckus. Not now.

"He's not there." a kid squeaks out beside him and he follows his gaze. He sees Seungsoo waving, the usual smile on his face and he feels his heart drop because the prince is alone. No Kyungsoo beside him.

With a dejected sigh, he walks opposite the crowd's flow, back to the workshop to help Yixing clean. Why did he think Kyungsoo would be there when the prince has always skipped.

"Not there?" Yixing asks and he ruffles Jongin's hair when the younger male stays silent. "I'm sure you'll see him soon."

"Jongin!" a gruff voice calls from further inside and the two of them exchange looks. "Come here. Quick!"

Dragging his feet inside, Jongin gets an armful of the finished swords all placed in boxes. He looks up to the blacksmith in confusion, earning himself a grin. "I need you to deliver these to the castle."

He returns the grin immediately and the blacksmith claps him on his back. The force makes him lurch forward and the blacksmith only laughs. Jongin couldn't help but laugh himself.

Finally.

Jongin wets his lips, his legs seemingly trying to move on their own as he's let in inside the castle. It was always the official blacksmith delivering the orders ever since so this is his first time stepping inside the land's most guarded place.

"Are you Jongin?" A man clad in gold and green asks and Jongin quickly nods, nerves too sensitive to everything.

The man nods back once and gestures for Jongin to follow him. It doesn't even occur to Jongin that he's still carrying the boxes, the weight nonexistent compared to the excitement thrumming inside him.

He's asked to wait inside of the rooms before he's left alone. The presence of the boxers on his arms comes back and he sets them as silently as he could on one of the tables. He doesn't have any money to cover anything in here if he even breaks a chip off the wall.

There's two open doors on either side and Jongin resists the temptation to peek. Maybe he could catch a glimpse of Kyungsoo on one of the doors. The thought makes him giddy, his feet already moving on their own.

He enters one of the doors, the smell of flowers assaulting his senses and he looks down on one of the open windows. He's welcomed by the sight of the castle's garden and he smiles, watching two female helpers walking around outside.

He turns around, frowning when he sees another door. As much as he would like to explore the whole castle, he knows he can't and he quietly returns to the previous room. The silence was thick, only broken by the occasional sound of the birds outside. The skin on the back of his neck tingle and he quickly turns his head, wondering if someone's there to pick him up.

He sees movement on the other side of the door he hasn't checked. The familiar heat comes back and Jongin clenches his palms into fists to regulate his temperature.

"Is there anyone there?" he asks, voice tentative and soft. If it was a ghost, better sound harmless then.

Jongin hears the squeaking sound unmistakably made by shoes scraping against tiled floors. It makes him sigh in relief because ghost don't wear shoes.

"Who are you?" A soft voice calls and Jongin is taken aback at how uncertain it sounded. Was Jongin that scary?

Jongin rubs his nape even if no one else can see his awkwardness. "I'm here to deliver the swords the King ordered."

Instead of words, Jongin sees someone peeking from behind the wall opposite him. It was a bit creepy but Jongin smiled gently nonetheless, coaxing whoever it was that he's not there to harm him.

"I'm Jongin." he says slowly, smiling wider when the person blinks beautiful lashes at him. He looks vaguely familiar and it tugs painfully at Jongin's memories.

There's an awkward silence after that and Jongin fidgets on his spot, debating whether to say something more or let the silence continue. Maybe the person didn't want to have a conversation after all.

"Kyungsoo."

It was spoken so softly that Jongin had to strain his ears when he asked if the person could repeat it.

"Kyungsoo." the person says just a little bit louder than the first. "My name."

Jongin feels a chill run down his back because the person hiding from his is the prince he's been longing to see for a long time. He takes a step forward without thinking and he almost misses Kyungsoo flinch. Stopping himself, he takes a few steps back and evens out his breathing before bowing down just like how one must address a royalty.

"I'm sorry for speaking so boldly, your majesty."

"Your majesty's my father." the voice says, a small bout of laughter following it. It makes Jongin want to fight back his own laugh but he's not at all successful when a few manages to escape.

"The King is ready to see you." the same man from before says as he enters the room from the other side. He quirks an eyebrow when Jongin quickly straightens up, eyes a little brighter than before. "Follow me."

Jongin nods, watching the man walk back outside and gathering the boxes as slowly as he could.

"Will you be coming back?" Kyungsoo asks from his place still behind the wall. Jongin looks back and smiles, seeing the prince staring at him with those wide eyes he dreamt of so much.

"I'll try to, my prince."

It's not much, but the slight pink on the prince's cheek visible to Jongin was more than enough of a reward as he bids goodbye. A pale hand shots out from behind the wall and returns the gesture.

"See you soon."

"Yixing hyung!" Jongin calls out loudly when he returns, cheeks still flushed from the excitement of meeting his dear prince. "Hyung!"

"What is it, Jongin?" Yixing peeks his head from his room, eyes wide in panic at Jongin's yelling. Jongin quickly runs to him, throwing his arms over the older male and laughing. Yixing startles, more by the heat enveloping him and he had to pat Jongin hard to let go of him.

"Hot, hot, hot." Jongin looks apologetically at Yixing, calming himself down but the grin doesn't lessen and Yixing finds himself grinning as well even without knowing why.

"So?" the elder starts, squinting his eyes at Jongin in a curious manner. "What got you all hot? Literally.

If possible, Jongin's grin grows wider. "I saw Kyungsoo today?"

"Kyungsoo? Who's Kyung- Oh." Yixing pauses. "Prince Kyungsoo?"

"Yes!" Jongin nods repeatedly, too excited to contain himself. His heart is buzzing with all kinds of pleasant things and it's making him burn with different emotions. "I didn't just see him! I talked to him!"

Yixing could only stare at Jongin, his lips forming into a smile because Jongin's happiness is contagious. He raises his hand, quirking his brow and silently asking if it was okay to touch him. Jongin nods and then Yixing's clapping him on his shoulder, grinning like a proud brother.

"I'm so happy for you, Jongin."

Jongin has been in charge with the deliveries for the royal family. He's not sure why but he gets the feeling that Yixing has got something to do with this, after all, Yixing has been working under the blacksmith far longer than Jongin has. Yixing doesn't tell him a thing but Jongin thanks him anways, buying him his favorite drink and mumbling silly thank yous every chance he gets.

He's back at the castle today but not for deliveries. The King wanted a dagger repaired and the blacksmith had entrusted Jongin to fetch it for him. In the times he's been inside, he only caught sight of the youngest prince twice since his first encounter with him. It was not much but Jongin's going to take what he can get.

"Jongin?" a voice startles him and he doesn't need to ask who it was because his heart starts beating faster than before, skin getting warmer by the minute because it's Kyungsoo.

"My prince." he bows properly, lifting his head and smiling slightly because the prince is hiding behind the wall again.

He hears the prince's soft laughter as he stands up, rubbing at his cheek consciously in case he looks dirty.

"Did you deliver something again?" the prince asks, brows furrowing when all he sees is Jongin and nothing else.

"No, my prince. I came here to get something from the King."

Kyungsoo hums and Jongin feels his heart stutter when the prince slowly walked out from behind the wall. It was one thing to catch a glimpse of the young prince, but it was a whole different thing to be graced with the entirety of his prince.

Kyungsoo must have sensed the change in atmosphere because his fingers are suddenly fidgeting with one another. "You should call me Kyungsoo."

Jongin tilts his head, confused at the prince's words.

"I like it when they call me by my name. I would like it better if you call me by it, too." Kyungsoo explains, smiling bashfully at Jongin and Jongin feels his heart melt and pool by the soles of his shoes.

Kyungsoo glances behind him and gestures for Jongin to follow him. Jongin bites his lower lip knowing this could get him into trouble but Kyungsoo's looking at him expectantly and he follows without a doubt anymore.

The prince leads him to the window overlooking the garden. It's empty and devoid of workers and the scene itself is quite breathtaking but not as much as the prince standing a little bit away from him. He wants to stand by him closer but he knows it'll be him pushing boundaries too far. For him to be with the prince right now and seeing this is more than he could actually hope for.

"They're beautiful, right?" Kyungsoo voices and Jongin nods even when his eyes are solely trained on the prince.

"Indeed. So beautiful, my prince."

Jongin brings a rose the next time he goes back to the castle. It's only a piece, his money not enough to buy a whole bouquet of it but he thinks Kyungsoo would like it. He can still remember the light on Kyungsoo's eyes when they were staring at the garden full of flowers. Kyungsoo already taken to sitting by the window, staring at the garden while he waits for Jongin.

Carefully walking inside, Jongin stops a few feet away from the prince and holds his hand out with the rose for the prince to take. A few beats of silence and Jongin looks at Kyungsoo.

"This is for you, my-"

"Kyungsoo."

My Kyungsoo sounded very nice.

Jongin grins and nods. Kyungsoo smiles as well when he lays his eyes on the road firmly held between Jongin's fingers. But he makes no move to stand up or get it.

"Please leave it by the table. I'll ask someone to put it on a vase for me."

Jongin purses his lips, nodding and setting the red rose on the table. He wants to stay longer with the prince but he's sure the blacksmith won't be pleased if he finds out that Jongin made the King wait.

"I'll see you soon... Kyungsoo."

All sadness vanishes when Kyungsoo smiles at him extra brighter this time and Jongin makes sure to remember to call him that everytime.

Months had passed and it has become a routine for Kyungsoo to wait by the window whenever he hears Jongin is coming. The servants have taken a liking to the blacksmith's apprentice as well and welcomes him whenever he drops by to visit. Of course, Jongin goes with the pretense that he's fascinated with the room full of weaponries opposite where Kyungsoo is. He's not about to reveal that he solely visits to see the prince. What harsh rumors would that be and Jongin doesn't want the prince hurt in any way.

"Do you want to catch it?" Jongin asks when Kyungsoo looks in awe at the butterfly that flew inside the room. It was small and white and Kyungsoo looks very much in love with it.

"I'm contented with watching it, Jongin." the prince murmurs and they watch as the butterfly flies around until it goes out by the open window.

Jongin's not dumb. He notice how Kyungsoo would always keep a distance with him. At first he thought it was just him; that his presence is still somewhat uncomfortable to the prince but when he sees the same treatment from Kyungsoo while interacting with some servants, he begins to doubt.

Was Kyungsoo afraid of contact?

He didn't touch the flower Jongin gave him before and neither would he dare to touch the butterfly he looks so fascinated with.

Wanting to find out anything, anything that would take him a step closer to the prince, Jongin reaches out a hand only for Kyungsoo to flinch when fingers are almost touching his skin. Kyungsoo's eyes are wide and full of fear as he looks up at Jongin.

"J-Jongin?"

Jongin's hand falls to his side, a pained look on his face and Kyungsoo reaches out his hand to touch Jongin only to stop midway, his eyes mirroring the pain on Jongin's irises.

"I should go." Jongin says lowly, smiling weakly at Kyungsoo and bowing before quickly walking out the door.

Jongin purposely avoids Kyungsoo every time he goes to the castle. It's not that he wanted to, he just feels he should for being so bold the last time and daring to touch the prince. He's so engrossed at the comfortable friendship he's developed with Kyungsoo he had completely forgotten the difference on their ranks.

Kyungsoo's a prince, after all.

"Jongin."

He freezes, hand on the doorknob when he hears Kyungsoo's soft voice calling him. It sounds as beautiful as before but the longing on it makes all the air in him disappear. The air around him grows hot as he tries putting up a lid on his emotions.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Jongin grimaces, turning around and bowing even as he avoids the prince's gaze. "Of course not, my prince. Work has just been keeping me."

Kyungsoo's fists tightens, his heart constricting because Jongin didn't call him by his name. He's the one puting a distance between everyone but seeing the result with Jongin is making him feel sick with guilt and want.

He misses Jongin.

Jongin's still not looking at him so Kyungsoo takes a step forward. And then another. Until he's standing just in front of the male, a few inches of space in between them. It's the closest they've ever been and Jongin feels the air is suddenly too thick to breathe.

Kyungsoo's hand reaches out from his side and Jongin waits with bated breath. But Kyungsoo doesn't touch him, his fingers making contact on the door just behind Jongin. Then something cold trickles down his back and he hesitantly looks back.

Ice decorated the door in a such a beautiful and sad manner, intricate patterns smoothing over and over until it ends on the edges of the wooden surface. Amidst all of it, Kyungsoo's fingers hover just at the center and Jongin swallows before looking back at the prince.

Kyungsoo looks so heart broken.

"This," Kyungsoo starts, voice choked up with emotions. "T-This is why I don't want anyone else coming close."

Jongin just continues staring at Kyungsoo, the gears on his head turning.

"Are you disgusted by me now, Jongin ah?"

Jongin breaks, his hand shooting out from his side to grasp the prince's hand. Kyungsoo is quick to swat his hand away, backing step after step with a panicked look on his face.

"No, Jongin. No, I don't want to- Please, Jongin."

But Jongin doesn't listen and follows every step Kyungsoo makes until the prince is trapped with the wall behind him and Jongin in front. There are tears welling on the prince's eyes and Jongin's feeling bad but he needs to prove something to Kyungsoo.

So he does, touching his fingers to Kyungsoo's cheek who flinches in an instant. Kyungsoo's eyes are closed in fear but Jongin doesn't mind, trailing his fingers down to his neck then to his arms and finally sliding his hand until their fingers are laced loosely. He squeezes once, coaxing Kyungsoo to open his eyes.

And Jongin smiles brightly when Kyungsoo does, eyes wide and full of disbelief as he slowly trails his eyes down to where their hands are still clasped together.

Jongin's palm feels so warm against his cold one and Kyungsoo chokes on a sob before he's laughing, tears spilling down his cheeks. Jongin makes to move his hand away in worry but Kyungsoo doesn't let go, reaching his other hand out and taking Jongin's other one.

"You should have told me earlier into this." Jongin whispers fondly, leaning forward until his breath is making Kyungsoo's cheeks warm as well.

"How would I know you were... well, that you can control fire." Kyungsoo answers, his voice carrying that childishness he's probably been robbed off long ago.

"And that you can freeze everything, my prince."

Kyungsoo just smiles, feeling pleasantly free and liberated with Jongin like this.

"Except my heart, that is."

Jongin sneaks into Kyungsoo's bedroom for the first time that night.

Kyungsoo startles when his bed dips, his natural reaction to run away but Jongin firmly holds his wrist down, his eyes calming Kyungsoo down before it widens again.

"I remember you." he suddenly says, those same eyes staring at him in the dark a few years ago. Jongin stares back at him before knocking his forehead down on his.

"And I never did forget you, my prince."

Kyungsoo smiles fondly, tracing Jongin's face with the tips of his fingers as if it's his first time to touch another human being like this. Jongin relishes on the sensation but something nags at the back of his head as he looks down on Kyungsoo again.

"Do you like me, Kyungsoo?"

He could hear the prince swallow, lips parting as if he wants to say something but he's stopping himself. Jongin's face contorts, his heart threatening to break among themselves.

"I've had my eyes on you ever since that night years ago. Only you." Jongin confesses, closing his eyes. He doesn't want to see the prince's rejection even though there's practically no space in between them on the prince's bed. It's a very bold move, to sneak into his room like this and to break every single rule about touching the prince. But he's so in love he doesn't mind silver cuffs decorating his wrists if he gets to be with Kyungsoo like this.

"Jongin." Kyungsoo starts with that beautiful voice of his. "My sweet, sweet Jongin."

Jongin's heart flutters, letting his lashes open up to be graced by Kyungsoo's smiling face.

"You're the only one able to melt my heart, my prince."

Heart beating erratically, Jongin leans down and finally presses his lips against the prince's.

Everything grows warmer as clothes littered the night. Kyungsoo's never felt this warm before and it just keeps geting hotter and hotter as Jongin traces every part of his body with his hands. His fingers paints a hot trail against Kyungsoo's cold skin and the prince could only stutter out his moans.

Jongin feels so hot around him - inside him when he pushes in - and Kyungsoo cries out because he's drowning but for the first time, he's with someone else. And he spills hot tears on his cheeks when Jongin peppers him with kisses, too elated to be able to hold someone so dear to him like this. He cries out Jongin's name over and over again, his whole body feeling like it's melting because of Jongin's touches.

Jongin hugs him tight, pushing as far and deep as he could and as his love spills out for the prince in torrents. Kyungsoo stains Jongin's warm palm and flushes in embarrassment as he pants out an apology. Jongin only laughs and holds him close, kissing him deeply. Kyungsoo's lost count of how many.

Jongin doesn't leave the whole night and for once, Kyungsoo sleeps with warmth surrounding him instead.

Kyungsoo wakes up with a start, panic flooding him when he realizes he's alone. The sheets are still messed up, the thin fabric covering his modesty. Something painful pricks at his heart but it doesn't dig in deep because the door's opening and Jongin's coming in with a tray on his hands.

"Breakfast? I stole some from the kitchen." Jongin laughs shyly as he sets down the tray

Kyungsoo sucks in a breath and then he's standing up, quick strides towards Jongin as he flings his arms around the taller male's neck.

Jongin's taken aback for a second before he relaxes, his temperature warming up Kyungsoo and even more his heart.

"Good morning, my Kyungsoo."