Dramatic license ...

[3scoremiles_10]

I actually don't think it went this way, but this is just me messing around with things.

Title: The Promise
Summary: At Ecbatana Hephaistion falls ill. I suppose that could be kind of a warning too, though I don't think it merits one.
Feedback: Certainly. Could be useful.

Comments

[qaddafi]

Very interesting, and very sad, especially the ending. I also doubt that Bagoas has anything to do with Hephaistion's death. He probably wouldn't have been able to deal with the guilt afterward, if he had. But that he often wanted Hephaistion dead is clear in The Persian Boy.

Beautifully done.

[3scoremiles_10]

In actual fact, and for reasons I won't go into here, Bagoas hardly even ranks on my list of suspects when it comes to Hephaistion's death (always assuming there was anything suspicious about it, but I like a good conspiracy). But I was just messing around with this story. I actually didn't say that he DID have anything to do with it, I just put him in the room and let him think about poisoning the water. The rest is left to you. Of course I didn't help by not supplying alternative suspects, unless you count the doctor and the servants ... but it wasn't meant to be a whodunnit. ;)

As for Bagoas ... "The Persian Boy" is Mary Renault's interpretation of who he was and his relationship with Alexander. I don't base my work on Renault, and I don't share her view of Bagoas. There isn't a lot in the sources that tells us much about him, so from a dramatic perspective he's kind of a blank slate, and usefully placed. I put him to use sometimes, that's all.

[florachan]

A very good story, especially the part concerning Hephaistion's nightmares...

You have really been able to take me in his nightmares, in his suffering...
And then that mention to water...the fact he felt he MUST remember something past recall...
Soething of vital importance...
A great touch...

I too believe very unlikely Bagoas could have been involved in Hephaistion's death, but I like the way you leave the story open to different interpterations...

Flora

[3scoremiles_10]

Well, Bagoas is actually a bit of a red herring in this story - it's not Hephaistion who necessarily has to worry about poison in the water. That would probably become clear if I gave this a sequel too, but I'm holding off on that at the moment. Death scenes are never fun.

[florachan]

Now, you really got me curious...^^

I would love to read a sequel, but I perfectly understand what you mean about death scenes...They take the skin off your back...>_

[xzanayu]

That was so sweet and yet sad. Hephaestion and Alexander both felt the signs something bad was about to happen, but they ignored them, like we humans do most of the time when our intincts kick in when it concerns our loved ones or we react too late.

[3scoremiles_10]

I'm not sure there was much they could do, really. Leaving the possibility of poison aside, when a man got sick in the ancient world death was always a possibility. They would not have discussed it - you don't tempt the fates, after all - but the shadow of it would be there. It would only be natural for that to make them feel uneasy, I think.

about Bagoas

[phaedrus_eros]

I don't share Renault's view about Bagoas either. In my eyes, a dancing eunuch in the former Persian court like Bagoas shouldn't have had such a great jealousy toward his lord's lover. Usually people in that position wouldn't have dreamed of true love from a king, since they were trained and brought up as but sexual toys.

Re: about Bagoas

[3scoremiles_10]

Now that is a refreshing view. I've found usually people whine over whether or not Alexander truly loved Bagoas and blahblah, not the other way around ... but as you rightly point out, Bagoas as a servant is hardly in a position to indulge in jealousy and may not really have loved the king that much at all. Though I could understand if he was utterly smitten by him, Alexander was impressive enough. In terms of using Bagoas as a dramatic character though, sometimes his perceived jealousy can be useful to provide perspective on a scene. I'll let him get away with that, so long as he keeps it to himself. ;)