I'm slacking
I'm really slacking man. Lately it's this 'IDGAF' mode but then outta no where I get all paranoid and like 'OMG I'M GONNA FAIL BIO!!!!' and I know I should go to the workshops and tutoring and supplemental instruction and I know it will make my grade go up one letter grade [According to the syllabus, and it's a D currently -_- oh correction D-] but I just don't know when and how to and I just feel like crap! >_<
I feel my writing is getting worse as the days pass and it's just so ...I don't even know how to describe it...I have prompts and I design an entire plot in my head then I sit down and 'blank.' O_O Dafuq happened there? It's not only with original fiction writing but even with class writings. I totally failed my World Civilization midterm because the essay that is worth fifty percent of the exam was crap. Bull. Shit. I know it was. I'm not even gonna be delusional and just be honest: my essay was crap. I'm mad cuz I love the lectures and I actually know what the terms and the topics are but I hate having to write them down. Why couldn't it just be multiple choice? I would have gotten a damn A! No...all of it was writing... -_-
Math was the one class I was doing well in and I understood the concept and shizz but now this new shit is just so...so...stupid. Like WTF?!
Then I miss my friends :( They're all away at Ann Arbor and here I am at Detroit. Not that I mind being here or staying here...but I feel like I'm left behind. They all went away and live on campus so they meet more people and I feel as if they're forgetting me and they all live together and have all these inside jokes and stories. When we're supposed to have a 'skype' date they're busy and I wait online for hours and they don't get on. But when I'm not online they're able to get on the shit...Idk. And they had all these stories and went through all this crap in the summer and I couldn't be there for them[I didn't even know about anything] because I wasn't even in the same damn country! I still don't know half the shit bothering them and can't be there for them and I feel like shit.
It wouldn't really matter if they were someone else but those were my sisters. People may say they're my 'clique' or whatever but no! They were more than that! I could be weird and random and stupid and crazy and they accepted me and wouldn't be afraid of me[lol i guess]. It was more than just sitting at the same spot during a pep rally or going to prom together or hanging out at the same spot with them or having our lockers next to each other...we were sisters....I guess I just really miss them.
Maybe I'm just real bitter.
All I know is I gotta jump back and start writing soon and go open that biology book and attempt! to go to that SI meeting, starting this week! On Tuesday since I can't make it tomorrow! and reviewreviewreviewreviewreview until I know I can pass that damn Biology exam! But then again I studied like crazy for the last one and I did worse than the first one >_<
See that? I have these random outbursts of 'I'm gonna do this! You know what, I got this!" and make out a plan in my head but as always...I fail to avail ...
I really need more DooWoon...I try to makeup for it by writing more but no, my brain wants to go 'Nope. You're on lockdown, haha' -_-
On a less serious note[or more serious O_O] I have no clue what these proposal are on and as a first time voter, I would really like to learn what they are so I don't just throw away my vote.