For the victims

Feb 11, 2009 12:31

For anyone thats ever been a victim of abuse, and have found it hard to explain why its so difficult to just leave... THIS

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imaginarycircus February 11 2009, 19:10:39 UTC
I thought my mother was a weak and a bit stupid for years for not leaving. I was naive. My stepfather never hit her though. I think she would have left if he had. But he was a terror especially the years he was on coke. After growing up and getting therapy I actually began to understand my mother a lot better and see the ways in which she was human and flawed and also see her strength.

I got into an abusive relationship with my first boyfriend. He hit me once. I broke his nose. He never touched me again. And I hate that I resorted to violence, but I don't regret it.

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3starsinmyeyes February 11 2009, 19:47:57 UTC
Thats just the thing, it almost never starts with out and out violence. Its a slow build up. Like that whole thing about, if you put a frog in boiling water, he will hop right out. But put him in tepid water and slowly bring it to a boil and he'll sit there and boil to death.

Women are really good at that.

I'm glad you fought back. It may not be the BEST solution. But i'm still glad you did.

With mental abuse, its even harder than the physical, and can do much more long term damage. *hugs to you and your mom*

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imaginarycircus February 11 2009, 19:57:11 UTC
Yes, I'm still needing therapy for that shit. Your frog metaphor is so apt. And I'm so damn glad I have a pretty healthy relationship with my husband and he has been very cool about respecting me as a person and listening to me when I think he has crossed any sort of line.

p.s. My mom died in 96. But I'll gladly take her hug too.

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3starsinmyeyes February 11 2009, 20:03:01 UTC
yay for being respected as a person, you wouldn't think, but its fairly rare. Rarer than it should be.

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