Step 001

[candycrabapple]

[Once waking up, the young troll wasted no time in yelling and flailing angrily at the nurses, effectively scaring them out of his room with a stream of overly elaborate threats that involved bits of them they were not entirely sure they had. his eyes as grey as his skin as he glares at them as they leave

Comments

[audio]

[hasstandards]

If you wanted to address just one person, ya might try callin' just that person. Bloody idiot.

[candycrabapple]

[Audio]

[The troll sneered at the voice for his comment and insult]

Oh, yes. Fantastic idea. No that would be fucking great. There's only one problem with your oh so sage advice. And you know what that is?

I have no fucking clue if they are here in this while world of pointlessness or if they have gotten themselves fucking culled. This shit human device doesn't even have anything similar to Trollian or Egbert's stupid Pesterchum. Which makes finding them even fucking harder.

If I have to broadcast to every piece of shit on this planet then I'll fucking do it, because those nook sniffing fucks couldn't dig in their own olfactory cavities without me telling them how to fucking do it.

[audio]

[hasstandards]

... Right. I didn't understand a word of that.

[candycrabapple]

[Audio]

[The young troll sighs loudly with a slight growl to it]

Fine, I'll condense it down for your simple and restlessly pink think pan for you.

I have no fucking idea where they are if they are even here. So I'm doing a broadcasting message to find this shit out.

Does this make things easier for simple squishy innards?

[hasstandards]

Ya know what would make it easier? If you spoke the Queen's English.

[candycrabapple]

[Karkat looks at the 3step incredulously efore resuming his conversation, rubbing his face with his hand with great irritation]

I don't know any queens who speak English. So I'm going to ignore that request. And instead I'm going to ask you how is it you have trouble with that simple fucking collection of sentences.

[hasstandards]

S'not the sentences so much as the terms. Ganderbulb? Think pan? And what the bloody hell is a pesterchum?

[candycrabapple]

Oh, great. Not that I expected that I would be talking to some annoymus troll. I love how small things like that are always too much to fucking hope for.

["Especially when you're looking for the last 5 trolls left in exsitance" he thought to himself, but had no intention of sharing that]

To elaborate to you I'm assuming basic human mind. Ganderbulb's are eyes, think pan is a brain. And pesterchum is a chat program, How the hell could you not know that one? Every human knows that one.

[As far as he knows]

[hasstandards]

A program... to chat at people. I'm pretty sure they've got those here. They're called phones.

[candycrabapple]

Wow, Congratulations on that stirring piece of mental acuity. I don't know how I'll ever fucking recover from it! If I meant a phone I would have fucking said phone, you fucking waste of mental fluid! It's a TYPING chat program on husk-.... Computers and smart phones like this fucking thing I'm talking to you on.

[hasstandards]

You can do that with these, too. I've seen people send letters through 'em.

[candycrabapple]

Okay.
So, while I'm not doubting this. That chat program had all their contacts in it. This piece of shit doesn't.
Am I starting to penetrate that obviously thick and non absorbent skull of yours, yet?

[hasstandards]

These things have listings of people here. Use that to find your friends, or your enemies, or whoever the bloody hell you're tryin' to call at this hour.

[candycrabapple]

Well, thanks for that late information. It would have been so much more helpful for someone to have just told me that in the first fucking place. Well it's too late now and I've broadcasted this shit. It's not like I asked you to fucking answer.

[hasstandards]

And it's not like I have to keep talkin' to you, either. Now do us all a courtesy and shut your cake-hole before someone shuts it for you.

[Aaaaand cue hanging up. Click.]