Any Addictions?
I have an Addiction...
I'm hyper I just drank lots of coffee but I am not addicted to it, I love drinking it.
I am happy at the moment is anyone else happy?
I think I am addicted to feeling sorry for myself and at this moment I am not feeling any of it and it feels great! I've been pissing people off lately, and get mad easily get cranky and shit. WHat's wrong with me? I've been gettign mad at Charbel a lot lately for nothing, for stuppid little things.
So I quit my job as a hostess cuz they were treating me liek crap and now I am feeling worse, it has been almost three months since I did so. I was lucky to actually find a job where they did not require my social till the third month, they understood my situation but I am stupid for leaving. What am I gonna do, When will I get a job again? That is what question myself with everyday and end up feeling like shit. Another thing was that the other day a representative for Westwood College Called my house(not that I want to attend there but I just wanted to give it a try to see what advice I would get from them) and the guy told me that he would liek to set an appointment with me and my parents at my house to see if I was the type of student that would apply herselff to be a good student for the college, and they have financial aid too! Then he said when would be a good time to set the appointment blah blah and then I said " I don't think I will be able to apply for finantial aid till 2 or 3 years from now because of my status in this country" and then he says " Sorry about that, well talk then. bye" I felt shitty and useless. I mean its not impossible to get a job and its not impossible to get money. But that was shitty to hear somebody say" well talk then" its like damn.
As for my future plans. I will get a well paid job where they wont require that (with luck) save money, then in maybe two years start college and I will move on with my depression about the miserable future.
I think I am so used to feeling like shit and sometimes I am afraid I wont make through another moment of suicidal thoughts. But hey I am still here after so many times of it, I am gonna go back to being the little "Happy Ana" =) I don't need no therapist for my useless negative motions. I can heal all by myself. I can deal with all the economic issues going on, I'm gonna deal with my emotions. I'm gonna deal with my rudeness, I am gonna deal with school do evrything I need to do to avoid feeling like shit again, to avoid all the negativity going in my brain. =) I guess that wraps it up! Until My next long entry ! see ya!
Oh yeah? Do you guys have any Addictions? If they are really crazy addictions and you guys don't want people to know about them put them anonymous. If you are feeling down comment and ill try to Help if I can he he peace out guys! Don't let those addictions affect you physically and emotionally, mentally etc. Please. =) gosh i have really bad grammar, any body want to revise and help my writing?
Goodbye!