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[sundance_icons]

so i kind of got on a roll here. i was just writing then it kinda hit me. this is the first half i need crit and ideas for the second half.

Comments

[dezmid]

Alright, so everyone who asks me for critique knows I am such a serious critic. It's not because I'm trying to be mean, but because I honestly care and if someone wants my opinion to help I will give it! I'll let you know, I am a HARSH critic of Viva's work, and she's my girlfriend, hahaha. So, that said, Chrissy, and I love you, and I think yu've got something good here, and it become something really great. Don't take what I say as someone saying something against finish, just a work in progress. Things are always subject to change

[sundance_icons]

no i love you ! im so happy you took time to disect. because your feelings are some of the same as mine!! It wasnt harsh at all, exactly what i was looking for.
anyhoo i'm thinking a short story, i need a break from novels. I have established that the unnamed villain is going to be a knight of the king.kind of his go to guy (a la Jafar from Aladdin lol) and this knight is actually of noble blood and could have been king but his father stepped down and so this king was established, so he has a vendetta against the royal family (thats the uprising im talking about)

Also I've established its like a village surrounded by many other villages ( kinda like zeldaish) no ideas on what to make of sable yet, but i think im going to start writing the beginning, maybe about the uprising. I have to figure out a name for the town first lol. but thanks, i'll be sure to post revised versions