AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
so i needed to vent a little bit about college. i don't know what to do anymore. i thought i did, but now i'm confused again. I made it a cut because it's long and annoying and probably not everyone wants to read that.. just a warning: you probably don't want to read that.
I don't know what to do about anything. Life is nice, but right now it's too confusing to actually be worth it. Brown and Cornell are off my list, i guess, even though they didn't technically refuse me. And i thought i'd go to penn state, because they're cheaper than bucknell, and schreyer is a better school than bucknell. But now i don't know what to do.. because bucknell named me a dean's scholar or whatever, and they are willing to give me a touch over $20,000 a year. That makes the price very similar..
soooo i have to think about the experience. i couldn't possibly get a more different couple of schools. a public school of over 35,000 kids or a private school of under 3,500. a school where i could get lost walking down a street i've never seen before even though it's on the way to my dorm or a school where one couldn't possibly get lost on the one street that's there.
Penn state is huge, there is so much going on. every weekend, i could be doing something. My brother goes there, so transportation would be easier.. we'd have a car because he'll be a jr next year and living in an apartment. I got into schreyer, only 300 kids admitted in my class. so i'd still feel "special." But penn state is large, there are a lot of people there who just don't care. it's a big party school, a big jock school.. two things i'm not into- parties and jocks.
Bucknell is really small, almost restrictive, but everyone there is nice. You get to know your teachers and everyone in all of your classes. the food there is the best i've ever eaten at any university. They aren't a big party or jock school, even though they're pretty passionate about their men's basketball team. there is a comfort/safety zone around bucknell, with the size and the social aspect. It wouldn't be hard to find people there. if you join one club, you've got a group.
at penn state, you join a club, and there are 400 other kids in that group. hardly narrowing. but at penn state, i'd have a dorm with all honors students, and i could hang out there and make friends. I've lived at penn state, my brother goes there, krista, ian went there, both of my parents.. there are no surprises about penn state. i don't understand everything about schreyer yet, but that will come.
I had a pretty nice weekend. It was fun, spent with meine muttie and Katie and Cheryl, two people i haven't seen in a long time but who are fun and have great senses of humor.
But now I know Matt will be in Pittsburgh tomorrow.. we wanted to get together for coffee, but it's not gonna work out this time. He has to leave too soon to go home. I think only Cheryl will understand why that is so sad.
and this whole college thing.. I thought i knew what to do..
and life is just confusing in general.
and my calculator died. so that's sad, too. RIP TI-86
on the flip side, i just walked outside, and it's absolutely gorgeous out.
I don't know what to do about anything. Life is nice, but right now it's too confusing to actually be worth it. Brown and Cornell are off my list, i guess, even though they didn't technically refuse me. And i thought i'd go to penn state, because they're cheaper than bucknell, and schreyer is a better school than bucknell. But now i don't know what to do.. because bucknell named me a dean's scholar or whatever, and they are willing to give me a touch over $20,000 a year. That makes the price very similar..
soooo i have to think about the experience. i couldn't possibly get a more different couple of schools. a public school of over 35,000 kids or a private school of under 3,500. a school where i could get lost walking down a street i've never seen before even though it's on the way to my dorm or a school where one couldn't possibly get lost on the one street that's there.
Penn state is huge, there is so much going on. every weekend, i could be doing something. My brother goes there, so transportation would be easier.. we'd have a car because he'll be a jr next year and living in an apartment. I got into schreyer, only 300 kids admitted in my class. so i'd still feel "special." But penn state is large, there are a lot of people there who just don't care. it's a big party school, a big jock school.. two things i'm not into- parties and jocks.
Bucknell is really small, almost restrictive, but everyone there is nice. You get to know your teachers and everyone in all of your classes. the food there is the best i've ever eaten at any university. They aren't a big party or jock school, even though they're pretty passionate about their men's basketball team. there is a comfort/safety zone around bucknell, with the size and the social aspect. It wouldn't be hard to find people there. if you join one club, you've got a group.
at penn state, you join a club, and there are 400 other kids in that group. hardly narrowing. but at penn state, i'd have a dorm with all honors students, and i could hang out there and make friends. I've lived at penn state, my brother goes there, krista, ian went there, both of my parents.. there are no surprises about penn state. i don't understand everything about schreyer yet, but that will come.
I had a pretty nice weekend. It was fun, spent with meine muttie and Katie and Cheryl, two people i haven't seen in a long time but who are fun and have great senses of humor.
But now I know Matt will be in Pittsburgh tomorrow.. we wanted to get together for coffee, but it's not gonna work out this time. He has to leave too soon to go home. I think only Cheryl will understand why that is so sad.
and this whole college thing.. I thought i knew what to do..
and life is just confusing in general.
and my calculator died. so that's sad, too. RIP TI-86
on the flip side, i just walked outside, and it's absolutely gorgeous out.