Notes
Okay, where to begin this one. I know more about you than you think, yet MUCH less about you than I know is there. Yes, men are just as bad gossips as women, though I can’t say for sure we’re worse. I know about that LT in Bahrain. When I first kissed you it was a decision based upon the knowledge of your free spirit. I realize that there are many things about your life that you omit from our dialogue. As it stands, your mysteries are still mysterious, and I’m more than reluctant to delve too far into them because I can see no useful end to it. I don’t consider you vile or mendacious, but simply Spartan with your expression of feelings. Very few are completely honest with ANYBODY much less forthright with those they have few bonds to. Believe it or not though, you can talk to me and I’ll understand, and still love you. I’m more concerned about not being here for you than hearing something disquieting.
I don’t know how many skeletons are in your closet M, but I do know that you need more friends than lovers. I’m moderately confident that I possess the strength of will and character to pull back and allow you to deal with what you’re dealing with without counting me as a hindrance. My feelings exacerbate your situation, and for that I apologize. You wondered if I could really feel what I’ve written you, and frankly I find that insulting if only because I think I’ve shown through action and words just how I feel. It’s more than words, when I’m writing to you I’m expressing myself, laying myself bare to your eyes and mind. When I write to you I’m exposing parts of me I don’t show to anybody else. I don’t do it just because I’m attracted to you, because that’s just silly, I do it because I think you can fully appreciate the depth of what I’m communicating. You’d be lying to yourself to think that I’m being less than honest when I express myself to you.
If you truly want me out of your life M, then of course I’ll oblige and acquiesce to your desires. You’re my friend above anything else, and I don’t want your concern about my shredded feelings or eviscerated soul to impact your judgment. J Okay, that was low, but honestly, I really AM here for you and if you need a break from the deluge of compliments and innuendo, then what kind of friend would I be to say no? I’m not real good at quitting something I care about, and I do care about you. You cast a wide net luv, and because of it you have a lot of fish to deal with. Every man that loves you thinks that they are the most important or love you the greatest. They think that your feelings for them must be different, because it feels different when you’re with them. As for me, you’ve already told me that you don’t think of me with a romantic love so maybe I’m fortunate. Then again, I’m in the same lot as the rest in believing that there must be something different in this because it feels special to me. If it weren’t for this environment you would have never had the inclination to speak to me. I may have not spoken to you either in all honesty, but the fact of the matter is we did speak to one another and found something worthy of a connection. I feel it still.
My feelings are obstinate, and for myself are impossible to simply disregard. You know what they are, and it’s to you as to what’s required for your own peace of mind. If my feelings are a burden, then please tell me because I can carry my own cross. If you do feel anything for me, or would enjoy a future with me somewhere in it, complicated or no, tell me that too. This man will continue to love you regardless. Though I am not stone, I am patient. For you.
I have no answer. I know what it should be. I should ask him to step away completely. Then I could go on to the business of cutting everyone else out as well, but I don't know if I can live like that--cut off.
I don’t know how many skeletons are in your closet M, but I do know that you need more friends than lovers. I’m moderately confident that I possess the strength of will and character to pull back and allow you to deal with what you’re dealing with without counting me as a hindrance. My feelings exacerbate your situation, and for that I apologize. You wondered if I could really feel what I’ve written you, and frankly I find that insulting if only because I think I’ve shown through action and words just how I feel. It’s more than words, when I’m writing to you I’m expressing myself, laying myself bare to your eyes and mind. When I write to you I’m exposing parts of me I don’t show to anybody else. I don’t do it just because I’m attracted to you, because that’s just silly, I do it because I think you can fully appreciate the depth of what I’m communicating. You’d be lying to yourself to think that I’m being less than honest when I express myself to you.
If you truly want me out of your life M, then of course I’ll oblige and acquiesce to your desires. You’re my friend above anything else, and I don’t want your concern about my shredded feelings or eviscerated soul to impact your judgment. J Okay, that was low, but honestly, I really AM here for you and if you need a break from the deluge of compliments and innuendo, then what kind of friend would I be to say no? I’m not real good at quitting something I care about, and I do care about you. You cast a wide net luv, and because of it you have a lot of fish to deal with. Every man that loves you thinks that they are the most important or love you the greatest. They think that your feelings for them must be different, because it feels different when you’re with them. As for me, you’ve already told me that you don’t think of me with a romantic love so maybe I’m fortunate. Then again, I’m in the same lot as the rest in believing that there must be something different in this because it feels special to me. If it weren’t for this environment you would have never had the inclination to speak to me. I may have not spoken to you either in all honesty, but the fact of the matter is we did speak to one another and found something worthy of a connection. I feel it still.
My feelings are obstinate, and for myself are impossible to simply disregard. You know what they are, and it’s to you as to what’s required for your own peace of mind. If my feelings are a burden, then please tell me because I can carry my own cross. If you do feel anything for me, or would enjoy a future with me somewhere in it, complicated or no, tell me that too. This man will continue to love you regardless. Though I am not stone, I am patient. For you.
I have no answer. I know what it should be. I should ask him to step away completely. Then I could go on to the business of cutting everyone else out as well, but I don't know if I can live like that--cut off.