Comments | 4aces: need some advice

4aces

need some advice

Jul 21, 2005 17:40

today started out alright then my sister called and asked me when am i gonna pick up the kids on friday. now here is the problem. i told my ex that i would start picking up the kids last year on friday and keep them til sunday. then when karen got pregnant she asked me if i would get the kids every other friday. so i said ok. only because she said ( Read more... )

Comments 37

tonguexuntied July 21 2005, 22:33:43 UTC

She needs to understand that your kids are your kids and will always be that. Are you supposed to stop paying attention to them because a new baby is on the way? NO. Are you supposed to not pay attention to the new baby because of them? NO. Both the kids and the new baby will need attention and love, which I am sure they will both get.

4aces July 23 2005, 12:44:15 UTC

i told her that i will be there for the baby and her and my kids with everything i have.

nandayconure July 21 2005, 22:47:10 UTC

from reaqding karen's journal and comments to yours, and insite from being a woman with kids and a husband, i gather that karen has abandonment issues from what you said about staying somewhere else with the other kids, so she can adjust to having a new baby without a bunch of other kids running around. i know that you meant well, but she feels that you care about your other kids more because of that. the fact that she seems to want you to forget about your other kids is undeniable. that comes with her young age people under 21 are still under the illusion that they can make life exactly the way they want it, even at the expense of other people's happiness, instead of making the best of what they have. she will outgrow that. also she sees your kids as a reminder that there was another woman in your life, and that in a way she will always be in your life, because as long as you have dealings with the kids you have to deal with their mother. karen thinks that when you put your kids before her (which is anytime you do anything with ( ... )

dollduffer July 21 2005, 22:50:41 UTC

Uh Oh... I'm new here and I was browsing through Lj's tha were actually from people in the area who are over 28. I am not on your friends list, but I hope you don't mind if I comment. I have never been pregnant myself so I can't give you any insight from personal experience but I did have a friend who went through some similar emotions during her pregnancy. Do you think that maybe she is experiencing some overwhelming emotions and fears about having a new baby? Maybe it's hormones- and I'm not saying that to be flippant about it but I am sure she may be feeling distressed too. Although, I do think it was pretty shitty of her to give you an ultimatum (the carolina thing). Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope everything works out :).

4aces July 22 2005, 16:01:10 UTC

dont mind you commenting at all. glad to hear from someone new. it could be the hormones cuz one second she is happy and the next its leave me alone.

dollduffer July 22 2005, 16:03:38 UTC

i added you if thats cool.

dollduffer July 22 2005, 22:39:04 UTC

That's cool. And thanks :)

Thread 5

nandayconure July 22 2005, 00:58:39 UTC

oh, yeah, and you should give her some freedom/mobility. go get her license so she can use your car when your sleeping. the less trapped she feels the more she will want to stay. i know it sounds crazy, but i used to want to leave so bad, and felt so trapped and helpless. now that i am going to go to school and are pretty established in a steady job and will hopefully be getting a decent house, i don't want to go no where. she wants to leave you so bad because she can't. if she could it would be like "I can go anytime, whats the hurry. i want to stay and see how this situation plays out." sometimes i stay for the same reasons i finish a bad novel! lol.

4aces July 22 2005, 15:55:32 UTC

she does need to get out and do things that is right. i know it sucks to be couped up in a house.

norelevance July 22 2005, 01:12:12 UTC

i can't really add much since I've never been in a situation like that. I don't really know where she's coming from and I don't know any of your background as far as your relationship goes and whatnot. I think it's time to sit down and vow to have a calm discussion about it where you each get your turn. She can voice her concerns, and you can voice yours.

4aces July 22 2005, 15:53:43 UTC

we tried that but it works sometimes and then their are times its useless.