[one shot] 30 Days of Monologue
Author 4d_artbitch
Rating: PG-ish
Genre: angst, fluff.
Pairing: onkey, 2min.
Disclaimer: i just owned C on my physics exam.
Summary: in which Jinki is an orphan, Taemin is his stubborn brother, Key loves to nag and Minho just doesn't like strawberry.
thanks to ontaejongminkey for the beta. we kinda talked through twitter and swearing A LOT this week due to LJ's problem... :))
AN: this is my first time writing with this style. pretty much inspired by "live in the refrigerator door" novels. each paragraph have each date, and each date means a piece of paper glued on refrigerator door. the beginning is BORING, but i hope you read this until the end :)
warning: the beginning of this fic is betaed, yet the ending is not bcz i won't be able to bring my laptop for a week, can't email the draft after this -_- so forgive me for loooots of grammatical error here and there *puts Jonghyun's puppy eyes here*
AN.2 : this is so lame. actually i have two endings. sad ending and the happy one (it kinda just 4 pharagraphs or so). but i don't like the ending :|
so, comment if you want the ending, and pick the sad or the happy. i will complete this fic after that.
if no one chooses (i expected this, honestly) xD , i will let this fic without ending because i'm weird like that \o/~~~~
special thanks to:
ninaloveonew
justforyourlove
melalocket
belintuchiha
mazokuwithwings
retna46
before_u_go
ezri_sun
minholic_1005
who picked and believing that OnKey deserves a happy ending :). SO, HAPPY ENDING IS HAPPY.
AN.3 : LOLOLOL sorry. i've messed up the date and the season of the fics because i was too lazy to researching. and now too lazy to editing. D: /slaps self
4 July
Taemin-ah, I need to go to work.
Your breakfast is in the refrigerator. Pre-heat it before you eat. Okay?
-Onew
Hyung you forget my pocket money!
PS. That chicken was delicious.
-xoxo. Taem
-------
5 July
Why haven’t you washed your dishes yesterday?-_-
Omo sorry I forgot. Today’s pocket money is above the cabinet.
-the old man, Onew
-------
11 July
Hyung hyung hyung guess what?!!!
Minho ASKED. ME. ON. A. DATE! Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit! I’m nervous OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDNESSSSS HYUUUNG D’:
-Taem
Minho? Minho who? The tall boy who came last week?
PS. I’ll come late today. Take care and don’t forget to do your homework^^
-O
Wait. What. A DATE?
-Onew
YES HYUNG THAT MINHO. THE coughHANDSOMETALLADORABLEANDCOOLcough MINHO.
I’ve told you to not take too much jobs, hyung. We kinda just meet 3 hours each day-_-
PS. I want to try to find a part time job^^
-the always lonely, Taem
-------
12 July
Hyung, will you go home late again at Wednesday? I think I need new clothes for my date.
PS. Sorry I left without waking you up, you look so tired >_<
-the nervous one, Taem
No, you aren’t old enough to work!
I will be home at 7. We can go to the mall after that^^
But, you will buy jeans instead of skirt, right?
PS. Thanks for the ramen you made me yesterday.
-Onew
Nvm hyung! Kibum will accompany me to the shop. Remember him? The boy with the weird hair style?
PS. I’M NORMAL HYUNG. I don’t like skirt. Geez.
-Taem
-------
13 July
Taem, your breakfast at the common place. Don’t forget WASH YOUR DISHES.
Be careful on your date. I mean take care, okay. Don’t do something inappropriate!
-love, Onew
HYUUUUUUUUNGGGGG HYUUUUUUNG YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS. AAAAARRRGGGGH. >W<
I KNOW WE WILL MEET SOON BUT I JUST WANT TO WRITE THIS ANYWAY. I have so much to tell you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-xoxo, Taemin
-------
14 JULY
Last night was fun~ We need to talk to each other more often. I almost forgot your face.
PS. Kibum left his phone in my room. Would you ask him to take it if you meet him at school?
-O
We will if you aren’t too BUSY working and working, hyung.
PS. WHY IN THE WORLD is Kibum’s phone on your room?
PPS. Kibum said he will come on Friday to teach me math.
HYUNG YOU FORGOT GIMME MY POCKET MONEY AGAIN >_<
-the always being forgotten, Taemin
-------
16 JULY
Taemin-ah, I need to take the documents to the manager’s house. Would you mind to go shopping?
-milk 2 packs
-eggs 2 kgs
-chicken for dinner 6 pieces
-spinach 3
-cigarette 1 pack
-soap 3
-instant ramen 15 packs
PS. The money’s above the cabinet.
-love, Onew
I won’t buy you cigarette, pabo.
-xoxo, Taem
I know it’s you Kibum. How’s Taemin’s math?
-Onew
ah, how could you know this is me? ;>
-diva
............
-onew
............
-taemin.
-------
17 July
Hyung can we once not eat chicken or instant ramen? Minho said I’m too thin. Maybe he doesn’t like thin boys :(
-Taemin
Taem, wow you did wash your own dishes :)
Oh, you like another food? We can cook some other food then. Will be home at 6!
-O
Hyung, damn hyung. I burned my finger. And the food is horrible! I know I shouldn’t cook alone, but you CAME HOME LATE AGAIN.
PS. I searched Mexicana fried chicken’s recipe from the internet. It says we have to put 1 cup salsa. What is that? Do I have to dance salsa while I eat?
-xoxo, Taemin
-------
18 July
Don’t be so mad okay? Hyung bought you strawberry ice cream and some DVD’s. We will watch movies together when I come home :D
And about Minho that doesn’t like thin boys...Why did he asked you on a date if he doesn’t like you?
PS. No, I don’t think so. Don’t dance while cooking. We already have enough burnt finger.
-the rational one, Onew
Okay!
PS. Minho said he likes me what the way i am :)
-xoxo, Taem
-------
20 July
Taem, please tell Kibum to not put strawberry condoms on your pockets again. Those are leached on the washing machine.
PS. I went to jog if you’re wondering. Breakfast already at the desk.
-love, Onew
You don’t like it if I have a safe sex life hyung? Tsk such an ancient brother.
-the hurt brother, Taem
I know that was you again Kibum. Stop using Taemin’s name. Your hand writing is totally different.
PS. Thanks for taking Taemin to school :) I will be home late again tonight. Maybe you can stay overnight to keep an eye on Taemin?
-Onew
No, I will let Minho ‘take care’ of your brother.
PS. It’s ok, from now on Taemin and Minho will go to school with me at my car.
PPS. Your room is so MESSY.
-almighty Key
Ah, mianhae for the trouble.
Uh, I prefer to cancel the meeting.
-Onew
Hyung... -_-" Why did you two write the messages and post them at the refrigerator door when you are standing at the same room????
PS. Can I get 100 dollars extra next week? Please please pretty please?
-Taemin
Hyung, I found our family photo under my old desk. I think it fell last time we were cleaning the house. Your teeth looked like bunny teeth. Kekeke. I’m just as cute as always. And mom’s hairstyle was rather funny. But she’s beautiful. And dad’s shirt was dirty with the sauce you splattered onto him. Lol. It should be red, no? The sauce. But the photo’s so old; it changed to a monochrome photo now.
-Taem
Hyung, I miss mommy.
PS. I think Kibum took a picture of your old photo with his cellphone. I don’t know why he did that. Sometimes he just doesn’t make any sense.
-Taemin
-------
22 July
Hyung, Kibum’s car just arrived! You look pale and struggling on your sleep. You must take a rest. Don’t work today okay? I will be home at 2, and after that I will make you chicken soup.
PS. How about my 100 dollars extra?
-Taemin
Taem, I will be home at 8. I think you need to clean up Choco’s cage…It’s starting to smell. Poor rabbit.
PS. What will you do with the money?
-Onew
Taemin told you to not go to work today. WHY WOULD YOU STILL GO, YOU DUMBASS?
PS. I just noticed. All your clothes that are hanging in your closet are a NO NO. Like, 81 year old styles or something. I can’t sleep before you get some new shirts. We will go to the mall tomorrow. NO BUTS.
-the almighty Key
Hyung you forgot my 100 dollars? :( I will clean up your dishes for a week I PROMISSEEEEEEEEEE!
I need to pay for the class vacation hyung. We will go to the beach!
-Taemin
-------
23 July
Kibum: i will back at 8 tomorrow…I think you should stop sneaking to my room when I’m not home.
Taem: oh, mianhae baby! I forgot^^; Your money is on top of the cabinet again. Sorry okay? Anyway, the result of you cleaning up Choco’s cage was awesome :) Good job.
-love, Onew
Kekeke thanks hyung! Minho helped me with those cleaning up thingy :)
Hyung I heard a strange sound last night...you puked didn’t you?
-Taemin
-------
24 July
I’ve told you, you’re kinda cute with the right outfit.
-Key
Don’t worry Taem, just got a little problem with my stomach. I have to carry the documents to the manager’s again tonight. Don’t forget to warm up your dinner before you eat it, okay?
-Onew
Kibum-ah, thanks for the t-shirt and for the aromatheraphy, too. It really helped. But, I still think the lavender is better than the rose one.
-Onew
-------
26 July
Hyung I will sleep over at Minho’s tonight. Don’t forget to eat your dinner!
PS. Don’t worry I will take care of my self >w<
PPS. We’ve run out of milk again. Can you buy banana milk?
-Taemin
Taem, i have an appointment with the doctor this evening. I think I got magh or something. Don’t worry, okay. Don’t forget to do your homework!
-love, Onew
-------
27 July
Hyung, stop asking me where I am 5 times a day. And don’t tell me about what-to-do and what-not-to-do. Do you think I’m 5 or what?
-TAEMIN
-------
28 July
Hyung, sorry I yelled at you last night. i don’t know why I was being a bitch. I’m just so worried with everything, hyung. I saw Minho yesterday, holding hands with a girl. I won’t you tell this as if I’m the only one that exists in the world. I’m so selfish like that. You have so much work to do and everything and your magh too. It’s too stupid of me to vent my anger on you. I’m really screwed up and I feel like I want to scream and cry and break something. This is unhealthy.
And sorry I didn’t keep you company at the doctor’s, hyung. Get well soon...!
-loves you forever, Taemin
Taemin-ah, It’s okay really. But, you have to know how worried I was when I can’t find you at home? Then, your phone was dead? I drove to Kibum’s house and you were not there! I came to Minho’s, too, and you’re still not there. Do you know how much panic I felt?
I know how it is to be 15 years old too. I know you want to belong and be free at the same time.
You have to learn some responsibility. We have to talk about this.
Don’t worry, I won’t be mad.
-loves you, Onew
-------
30 July
Taem why is your cell phone dead? Why didn’t you go home before 6?
If you read this, I just went out to buy pasta. We promised to make spaghetti pasta together you got home, remember?
-Onew
-------
1 August
Minho, if you see this message, me and Taemin are at xxx hospital. Jinki got into an accident.
-Key
-------
2 August
Hyung, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. Please wake up :(
-Taem
-------
3 August
Hyung, I skipped my class today. My eyes are really swollen, and there’s no way I would show this face in front of people. Key and Minho went to school, though. They had been taking care of me and keeping me company last night. But, it’s just different without you around.
Will keep you company after I finished cleaning Choco’s cage.
-Taem
-------
4 August
Hyung, after this, we will do cooking and watch TV together like before. I promise I will be a good boy. Sorry for yelling at you. Sorry for not hearing you. Sorry for being stubborn. I will make delicious Mexicana fried chicken for you, this time without burning finger. Please wake up, okay?
-love, Taemin
-------
5 August
Hyung, I went to school today. But, I felt like I’m in a fog or something. Everything’s a blur. Minho kept me accompanied all the time of course. But, I find it really hard to focus on his words and the teacher’s lecture when my mind’s on your hospital bed.
-Taem
-------
6 August
-
-------
7 August
-
-------
8 August
Hyung, I think Key’s right…You won’t be happy if you wake up and found the miserable me. Ah, I didn’t expect I will get a normal advice from a boy named Key, though. He seemed so normal nowadays, which was so not normal for him. I mean, he even went to school with plain black shoes, not the leopard pattern he wore so often or the pink with purple dots one. And, you should’ve seen his expression when Minho asked him to stay at the hospital tonight. He looked like a happy zombie.
But guess what? I got A on both Math and Physics! Are you proud of me? Our mom and dad must be proud too, right hyung?
-Taem
Hyung, how does it feel when your arm was being constantly stabbed by that hose? And the bandages and lot of large tubes everywhere? I feel weird…like you are near me, but you’re far away at the same time. I can see you, but I can’t hold you long enough to feel your love. Yeah, I’m so cheesy lately.
Anyway, You look like an alien with those hose thingy.
-Taem
-------
9 August
I LOVE YOU BABO. JUST WAKE UP!!
-Key
-------
10 August
Hyung, I miss you. I stood between friends and strangers, just to found out that you were not around.
-Taemin
-------
11 August
Hyung, today i just sat in the kitchen, staring at my homework. Key is being so nice to keep you company, because he knew I’m too nervous to do my homework at the hospital. Minho’s on his way here, I bet. He sounded so concerned in the phone and insisted to come here although I told him to not come. So, I decided to write this note for you while waiting for him.
Hyung, I feel something wrong lately. Like, it’s hard to breath and suddenly the bright green color of my bedroom’s wall seemed to turn a dull green. The red of Minho’s jacket seemed too red. My eyes hurt and my tummy felt weird all the time. Like, I wanted to vomit but I can’t. Like I’m hungry when I’m really not. I don’t like this sick feeling…I can’t help it, because I want to see you. Then, I would visit you and realize, when i saw your figure laying on the bed, that it’s because you’re not here with me-awake and smiling.
I’m afraid I will end up alone. I hate to write this note, knowing that you wouldn’t reply to my message. Does God need you as much as I do? If the answer’s a no, please tell God to make you return and stay with us, please?
-Taemin
-------
12 August
Hyung, today I read something about people with ‘coma’ at the library. The book said that people on a coma can hear other’s voice around him, and see them, and walk and even visit heaven. So…have you met mom and dad?
If that is so, tell them that I love them, okay?
PS. Sorry I kissed Minho infront of your bed. I didn’t know if the soul of the comatose people can walk around and you could be staring at me at that moment. >_<
-Taemin
-------
13 August
HYUNG I’M AFRAID.
-Taem
-------
14 August
Hyung, today Minho and I walked around the park after we visited you. The snow was beautiful and Minho brought me an apple candy. My hands were FREEZING hyung I can barely feel it. I need to buy new gloves. Maybe we can buy it together when you wake up!
Then, we were just spinning around, and the snow kept falling. It reminded me of your pale skin. Honestly, I don’t know what to feel, my emotions are all mixed together and I’m just so confused. I remembered the day when mom and dad went to heaven. That day was snowy too, no?
I asked Minho to just bring me home. He kept asking me if I’m okay. I nodded, but he somehow knew that I’m not fine at all. I feel bad for him, but I can’t help being a crybaby just from thinking about you.
We ended the day with 2 cups of hot chocolate that I made for him. We watched titanic until I started sniffling again and he turned the TV off.
PS. I think now I don’t like the snow.
-Taemin
-------
15 August
-
-------
16 August
Babo, wake up or I will let Minho do something kinky with Taemin.
Seriously.
-Key
-------
19 August
I’m tired of writing on this stupid paper without you answering me, hyung.
-Taemin
-------
20 August
-eggs 6 packs
-toothpaste 2
-chicken 3 boxes
-towel 2
-rinse 5 boxes
-ice cream 10
-paprika
-spinach
Taem, I don’t think we need those ice cream. AND WHY DID YOU STRIKE THE SPINACH?
-Key
--
I’m not going to put this night as something memorable. 1 AM and i’m struggling to close my eyes, knowing how tired my body is at the moment, yet not being able to sleep. I want to blame it to everything. I ended up blaming myself.
I tried to close my eyes, then some memories of things recalled. About how my days could have been something better. About so many small things i’ve missed for being an ignorant. About the food. About you. And you know i will talk about the last thing i mentioned.
The feeling i have on my chest, something like it wants to get out - it’s always like this when i’m having you in mind. How i feel it’s just plain hard for me to breathe. How every tip of my body is aching for your presence. How i suddenly just can think about you.
I could have laughed at myself for being like those girls on those romantic novels i have read. But it can’t be helped anyway, i bet people will do the same thing when they have felt the love so strong like what you’ve been giving to me. The difference is only that i express it exaggeratedly.
I could only wish God ain’t fooling us around.
… Well, not only that. I wish you were here, so i can lay a kiss on your forehead, wish you good night, hug you tightly, or maybe i’ll just give you blowjobs and we’ll have some great orgasms..
I could only wish.
You could save another day of my life, just by talking to me and being a good listener, like you always did.
staring at each other. Finding some comfort from the presence of each other.
sometimes we go silent and let the universe do the rest. Then you’ll start making me smile with your jokes.
Memories are things that people usually keep for protecting and also, hurting their own hearts. It’s like a double-sided sword.
They’re missing. I’m lost.
.. and you’re not even here.*
-Key.
-------
23 August
Taem, if you read this I’m in the hospital. Doctor called me.
-Key
Taem, your lunch is on the desk. Jinki’s second surgery have to be done asap, but they run out of blood type O. I will try to serch some donors. Can you ask your friends or WHOEVER who has O blood type?
Call me once you get it.
-key
How’s the surgery?
-minho
My heart is pessimistic, but i gotta prove it wrong.
-key
Minho, I will go to home, just to pick some stuffs. Get taemin off from his room and ask him to eat his dinner, we will visit jinki if he EAT his dinner.
-key
---------
24 August
OH THANKS GOD >_________________________< taem so happyyyyyyyyy
-------
28 August
Key hyung, I think you should go home and get a proper sleep. Look at the mirror and see the black circle under your eyes! Doctor said hyung’d be allowed to home the day after tomorrow. LALALALALALALALALA SYUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU
Taem
GOSH. DAMN TAEMIN. Why’re you being so “hyperactive” lately.
ps: Key, you really should STOP tucking those strawberry condoms into Taemin's pocket. i don't even like strawberry, fyi.
Minho
MINHO, TAEMIN, YOU’RE SO DAMN LOUD. URGH. KEEP THAT MOAN ON YOUR ROOM, FOR MY BEAUTY’S SAKE.
Key
i'm smelling something fishy here. someone was jealouuuuuuusssss
-taem
-------
30 August
Hallo, refrigerator notes :)
-onew
-------
1 September
Hyung, I need to go to school. I’ve made chicken soup, don’t forget to take your medicine after breakfast!
Will be home around 1 so we could go to your therapy together
-taem
You went so early, Taemin ah.
I’m sitting down at the kitchen now. Thinking about you, about key, about our parents. Seems like after the accident, you’ve grown up be a mature boy much more than I’ve ever thought. You cleaned up the house, take care of me, washed our clothes, although your homework was waiting to be touched. And key, even the words I love you can’t pay everything you’ve done to me, to us, I’m so thankful we met. And now I’m wondering. Am I good enough as a brother. And lover?
It was kind of question I always want to ask you. But then, I have no chance to ask. Or I just not dare enough to hear the answer.
-onew
I don’t know what to say, you’re the only brother I have and I just want you to be happy, hyung.
Ps: no, I’m not as mature as you, tbh.
-taem
I like the word “us”, babo. We should use it more often.
-key
-------
3 September
I’m a train wreck in the morning
I’m a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I’m a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren’t even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day
I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that’s why I love you
I neglect you when I’m working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I’m a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I’m a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I’m a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that’s exactly what I mean.
I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
and that’s why I love you**
-K.
--------
5 September
Thanks for accompanying me at my therapy :D
The drugs tasted horrible bleh :x
Tehehe. anyway, I made this yesterday while you were all at d school.
-----------------------------------
*writen by exotrisc at Tumblr! credits of that pharagraph belongs to her. she is wonderful <3
**Lyrics by Beyonce Knowles.
***the messy comic credits to me.
Rating: PG-ish
Genre: angst, fluff.
Pairing: onkey, 2min.
Disclaimer: i just owned C on my physics exam.
Summary: in which Jinki is an orphan, Taemin is his stubborn brother, Key loves to nag and Minho just doesn't like strawberry.
thanks to ontaejongminkey for the beta. we kinda talked through twitter and swearing A LOT this week due to LJ's problem... :))
AN: this is my first time writing with this style. pretty much inspired by "live in the refrigerator door" novels. each paragraph have each date, and each date means a piece of paper glued on refrigerator door. the beginning is BORING, but i hope you read this until the end :)
warning: the beginning of this fic is betaed, yet the ending is not bcz i won't be able to bring my laptop for a week, can't email the draft after this -_- so forgive me for loooots of grammatical error here and there *puts Jonghyun's puppy eyes here*
AN.2 : this is so lame. actually i have two endings. sad ending and the happy one (it kinda just 4 pharagraphs or so). but i don't like the ending :|
so, comment if you want the ending, and pick the sad or the happy. i will complete this fic after that.
if no one chooses (i expected this, honestly) xD , i will let this fic without ending because i'm weird like that \o/~~~~
special thanks to:
ninaloveonew
justforyourlove
melalocket
belintuchiha
mazokuwithwings
retna46
before_u_go
ezri_sun
minholic_1005
who picked and believing that OnKey deserves a happy ending :). SO, HAPPY ENDING IS HAPPY.
AN.3 : LOLOLOL sorry. i've messed up the date and the season of the fics because i was too lazy to researching. and now too lazy to editing. D: /slaps self
4 July
Taemin-ah, I need to go to work.
Your breakfast is in the refrigerator. Pre-heat it before you eat. Okay?
-Onew
Hyung you forget my pocket money!
PS. That chicken was delicious.
-xoxo. Taem
-------
5 July
Why haven’t you washed your dishes yesterday?-_-
Omo sorry I forgot. Today’s pocket money is above the cabinet.
-the old man, Onew
-------
11 July
Hyung hyung hyung guess what?!!!
Minho ASKED. ME. ON. A. DATE! Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit! I’m nervous OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDNESSSSS HYUUUNG D’:
-Taem
Minho? Minho who? The tall boy who came last week?
PS. I’ll come late today. Take care and don’t forget to do your homework^^
-O
Wait. What. A DATE?
-Onew
YES HYUNG THAT MINHO. THE coughHANDSOMETALLADORABLEANDCOOLcough MINHO.
I’ve told you to not take too much jobs, hyung. We kinda just meet 3 hours each day-_-
PS. I want to try to find a part time job^^
-the always lonely, Taem
-------
12 July
Hyung, will you go home late again at Wednesday? I think I need new clothes for my date.
PS. Sorry I left without waking you up, you look so tired >_<
-the nervous one, Taem
No, you aren’t old enough to work!
I will be home at 7. We can go to the mall after that^^
But, you will buy jeans instead of skirt, right?
PS. Thanks for the ramen you made me yesterday.
-Onew
Nvm hyung! Kibum will accompany me to the shop. Remember him? The boy with the weird hair style?
PS. I’M NORMAL HYUNG. I don’t like skirt. Geez.
-Taem
-------
13 July
Taem, your breakfast at the common place. Don’t forget WASH YOUR DISHES.
Be careful on your date. I mean take care, okay. Don’t do something inappropriate!
-love, Onew
HYUUUUUUUUNGGGGG HYUUUUUUNG YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS. AAAAARRRGGGGH. >W<
I KNOW WE WILL MEET SOON BUT I JUST WANT TO WRITE THIS ANYWAY. I have so much to tell you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-xoxo, Taemin
-------
14 JULY
Last night was fun~ We need to talk to each other more often. I almost forgot your face.
PS. Kibum left his phone in my room. Would you ask him to take it if you meet him at school?
-O
We will if you aren’t too BUSY working and working, hyung.
PS. WHY IN THE WORLD is Kibum’s phone on your room?
PPS. Kibum said he will come on Friday to teach me math.
HYUNG YOU FORGOT GIMME MY POCKET MONEY AGAIN >_<
-the always being forgotten, Taemin
-------
16 JULY
Taemin-ah, I need to take the documents to the manager’s house. Would you mind to go shopping?
-milk 2 packs
-eggs 2 kgs
-chicken for dinner 6 pieces
-spinach 3
-cigarette 1 pack
-soap 3
-instant ramen 15 packs
PS. The money’s above the cabinet.
-love, Onew
I won’t buy you cigarette, pabo.
-xoxo, Taem
I know it’s you Kibum. How’s Taemin’s math?
-Onew
ah, how could you know this is me? ;>
-diva
............
-onew
............
-taemin.
-------
17 July
Hyung can we once not eat chicken or instant ramen? Minho said I’m too thin. Maybe he doesn’t like thin boys :(
-Taemin
Taem, wow you did wash your own dishes :)
Oh, you like another food? We can cook some other food then. Will be home at 6!
-O
Hyung, damn hyung. I burned my finger. And the food is horrible! I know I shouldn’t cook alone, but you CAME HOME LATE AGAIN.
PS. I searched Mexicana fried chicken’s recipe from the internet. It says we have to put 1 cup salsa. What is that? Do I have to dance salsa while I eat?
-xoxo, Taemin
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18 July
Don’t be so mad okay? Hyung bought you strawberry ice cream and some DVD’s. We will watch movies together when I come home :D
And about Minho that doesn’t like thin boys...Why did he asked you on a date if he doesn’t like you?
PS. No, I don’t think so. Don’t dance while cooking. We already have enough burnt finger.
-the rational one, Onew
Okay!
PS. Minho said he likes me what the way i am :)
-xoxo, Taem
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20 July
Taem, please tell Kibum to not put strawberry condoms on your pockets again. Those are leached on the washing machine.
PS. I went to jog if you’re wondering. Breakfast already at the desk.
-love, Onew
You don’t like it if I have a safe sex life hyung? Tsk such an ancient brother.
-the hurt brother, Taem
I know that was you again Kibum. Stop using Taemin’s name. Your hand writing is totally different.
PS. Thanks for taking Taemin to school :) I will be home late again tonight. Maybe you can stay overnight to keep an eye on Taemin?
-Onew
No, I will let Minho ‘take care’ of your brother.
PS. It’s ok, from now on Taemin and Minho will go to school with me at my car.
PPS. Your room is so MESSY.
-almighty Key
Ah, mianhae for the trouble.
Uh, I prefer to cancel the meeting.
-Onew
Hyung... -_-" Why did you two write the messages and post them at the refrigerator door when you are standing at the same room????
PS. Can I get 100 dollars extra next week? Please please pretty please?
-Taemin
Hyung, I found our family photo under my old desk. I think it fell last time we were cleaning the house. Your teeth looked like bunny teeth. Kekeke. I’m just as cute as always. And mom’s hairstyle was rather funny. But she’s beautiful. And dad’s shirt was dirty with the sauce you splattered onto him. Lol. It should be red, no? The sauce. But the photo’s so old; it changed to a monochrome photo now.
-Taem
Hyung, I miss mommy.
PS. I think Kibum took a picture of your old photo with his cellphone. I don’t know why he did that. Sometimes he just doesn’t make any sense.
-Taemin
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22 July
Hyung, Kibum’s car just arrived! You look pale and struggling on your sleep. You must take a rest. Don’t work today okay? I will be home at 2, and after that I will make you chicken soup.
PS. How about my 100 dollars extra?
-Taemin
Taem, I will be home at 8. I think you need to clean up Choco’s cage…It’s starting to smell. Poor rabbit.
PS. What will you do with the money?
-Onew
Taemin told you to not go to work today. WHY WOULD YOU STILL GO, YOU DUMBASS?
PS. I just noticed. All your clothes that are hanging in your closet are a NO NO. Like, 81 year old styles or something. I can’t sleep before you get some new shirts. We will go to the mall tomorrow. NO BUTS.
-the almighty Key
Hyung you forgot my 100 dollars? :( I will clean up your dishes for a week I PROMISSEEEEEEEEEE!
I need to pay for the class vacation hyung. We will go to the beach!
-Taemin
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23 July
Kibum: i will back at 8 tomorrow…I think you should stop sneaking to my room when I’m not home.
Taem: oh, mianhae baby! I forgot^^; Your money is on top of the cabinet again. Sorry okay? Anyway, the result of you cleaning up Choco’s cage was awesome :) Good job.
-love, Onew
Kekeke thanks hyung! Minho helped me with those cleaning up thingy :)
Hyung I heard a strange sound last night...you puked didn’t you?
-Taemin
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24 July
I’ve told you, you’re kinda cute with the right outfit.
-Key
Don’t worry Taem, just got a little problem with my stomach. I have to carry the documents to the manager’s again tonight. Don’t forget to warm up your dinner before you eat it, okay?
-Onew
Kibum-ah, thanks for the t-shirt and for the aromatheraphy, too. It really helped. But, I still think the lavender is better than the rose one.
-Onew
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26 July
Hyung I will sleep over at Minho’s tonight. Don’t forget to eat your dinner!
PS. Don’t worry I will take care of my self >w<
PPS. We’ve run out of milk again. Can you buy banana milk?
-Taemin
Taem, i have an appointment with the doctor this evening. I think I got magh or something. Don’t worry, okay. Don’t forget to do your homework!
-love, Onew
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27 July
Hyung, stop asking me where I am 5 times a day. And don’t tell me about what-to-do and what-not-to-do. Do you think I’m 5 or what?
-TAEMIN
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28 July
Hyung, sorry I yelled at you last night. i don’t know why I was being a bitch. I’m just so worried with everything, hyung. I saw Minho yesterday, holding hands with a girl. I won’t you tell this as if I’m the only one that exists in the world. I’m so selfish like that. You have so much work to do and everything and your magh too. It’s too stupid of me to vent my anger on you. I’m really screwed up and I feel like I want to scream and cry and break something. This is unhealthy.
And sorry I didn’t keep you company at the doctor’s, hyung. Get well soon...!
-loves you forever, Taemin
Taemin-ah, It’s okay really. But, you have to know how worried I was when I can’t find you at home? Then, your phone was dead? I drove to Kibum’s house and you were not there! I came to Minho’s, too, and you’re still not there. Do you know how much panic I felt?
I know how it is to be 15 years old too. I know you want to belong and be free at the same time.
You have to learn some responsibility. We have to talk about this.
Don’t worry, I won’t be mad.
-loves you, Onew
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30 July
Taem why is your cell phone dead? Why didn’t you go home before 6?
If you read this, I just went out to buy pasta. We promised to make spaghetti pasta together you got home, remember?
-Onew
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1 August
Minho, if you see this message, me and Taemin are at xxx hospital. Jinki got into an accident.
-Key
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2 August
Hyung, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. Please wake up :(
-Taem
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3 August
Hyung, I skipped my class today. My eyes are really swollen, and there’s no way I would show this face in front of people. Key and Minho went to school, though. They had been taking care of me and keeping me company last night. But, it’s just different without you around.
Will keep you company after I finished cleaning Choco’s cage.
-Taem
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4 August
Hyung, after this, we will do cooking and watch TV together like before. I promise I will be a good boy. Sorry for yelling at you. Sorry for not hearing you. Sorry for being stubborn. I will make delicious Mexicana fried chicken for you, this time without burning finger. Please wake up, okay?
-love, Taemin
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5 August
Hyung, I went to school today. But, I felt like I’m in a fog or something. Everything’s a blur. Minho kept me accompanied all the time of course. But, I find it really hard to focus on his words and the teacher’s lecture when my mind’s on your hospital bed.
-Taem
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6 August
-
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7 August
-
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8 August
Hyung, I think Key’s right…You won’t be happy if you wake up and found the miserable me. Ah, I didn’t expect I will get a normal advice from a boy named Key, though. He seemed so normal nowadays, which was so not normal for him. I mean, he even went to school with plain black shoes, not the leopard pattern he wore so often or the pink with purple dots one. And, you should’ve seen his expression when Minho asked him to stay at the hospital tonight. He looked like a happy zombie.
But guess what? I got A on both Math and Physics! Are you proud of me? Our mom and dad must be proud too, right hyung?
-Taem
Hyung, how does it feel when your arm was being constantly stabbed by that hose? And the bandages and lot of large tubes everywhere? I feel weird…like you are near me, but you’re far away at the same time. I can see you, but I can’t hold you long enough to feel your love. Yeah, I’m so cheesy lately.
Anyway, You look like an alien with those hose thingy.
-Taem
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9 August
I LOVE YOU BABO. JUST WAKE UP!!
-Key
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10 August
Hyung, I miss you. I stood between friends and strangers, just to found out that you were not around.
-Taemin
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11 August
Hyung, today i just sat in the kitchen, staring at my homework. Key is being so nice to keep you company, because he knew I’m too nervous to do my homework at the hospital. Minho’s on his way here, I bet. He sounded so concerned in the phone and insisted to come here although I told him to not come. So, I decided to write this note for you while waiting for him.
Hyung, I feel something wrong lately. Like, it’s hard to breath and suddenly the bright green color of my bedroom’s wall seemed to turn a dull green. The red of Minho’s jacket seemed too red. My eyes hurt and my tummy felt weird all the time. Like, I wanted to vomit but I can’t. Like I’m hungry when I’m really not. I don’t like this sick feeling…I can’t help it, because I want to see you. Then, I would visit you and realize, when i saw your figure laying on the bed, that it’s because you’re not here with me-awake and smiling.
I’m afraid I will end up alone. I hate to write this note, knowing that you wouldn’t reply to my message. Does God need you as much as I do? If the answer’s a no, please tell God to make you return and stay with us, please?
-Taemin
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12 August
Hyung, today I read something about people with ‘coma’ at the library. The book said that people on a coma can hear other’s voice around him, and see them, and walk and even visit heaven. So…have you met mom and dad?
If that is so, tell them that I love them, okay?
PS. Sorry I kissed Minho infront of your bed. I didn’t know if the soul of the comatose people can walk around and you could be staring at me at that moment. >_<
-Taemin
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13 August
HYUNG I’M AFRAID.
-Taem
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14 August
Hyung, today Minho and I walked around the park after we visited you. The snow was beautiful and Minho brought me an apple candy. My hands were FREEZING hyung I can barely feel it. I need to buy new gloves. Maybe we can buy it together when you wake up!
Then, we were just spinning around, and the snow kept falling. It reminded me of your pale skin. Honestly, I don’t know what to feel, my emotions are all mixed together and I’m just so confused. I remembered the day when mom and dad went to heaven. That day was snowy too, no?
I asked Minho to just bring me home. He kept asking me if I’m okay. I nodded, but he somehow knew that I’m not fine at all. I feel bad for him, but I can’t help being a crybaby just from thinking about you.
We ended the day with 2 cups of hot chocolate that I made for him. We watched titanic until I started sniffling again and he turned the TV off.
PS. I think now I don’t like the snow.
-Taemin
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15 August
-
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16 August
Babo, wake up or I will let Minho do something kinky with Taemin.
Seriously.
-Key
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19 August
I’m tired of writing on this stupid paper without you answering me, hyung.
-Taemin
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20 August
-eggs 6 packs
-toothpaste 2
-chicken 3 boxes
-towel 2
-rinse 5 boxes
-ice cream 10
-paprika
-spinach
Taem, I don’t think we need those ice cream. AND WHY DID YOU STRIKE THE SPINACH?
-Key
--
I’m not going to put this night as something memorable. 1 AM and i’m struggling to close my eyes, knowing how tired my body is at the moment, yet not being able to sleep. I want to blame it to everything. I ended up blaming myself.
I tried to close my eyes, then some memories of things recalled. About how my days could have been something better. About so many small things i’ve missed for being an ignorant. About the food. About you. And you know i will talk about the last thing i mentioned.
The feeling i have on my chest, something like it wants to get out - it’s always like this when i’m having you in mind. How i feel it’s just plain hard for me to breathe. How every tip of my body is aching for your presence. How i suddenly just can think about you.
I could have laughed at myself for being like those girls on those romantic novels i have read. But it can’t be helped anyway, i bet people will do the same thing when they have felt the love so strong like what you’ve been giving to me. The difference is only that i express it exaggeratedly.
I could only wish God ain’t fooling us around.
… Well, not only that. I wish you were here, so i can lay a kiss on your forehead, wish you good night, hug you tightly, or maybe i’ll just give you blowjobs and we’ll have some great orgasms..
I could only wish.
You could save another day of my life, just by talking to me and being a good listener, like you always did.
staring at each other. Finding some comfort from the presence of each other.
sometimes we go silent and let the universe do the rest. Then you’ll start making me smile with your jokes.
Memories are things that people usually keep for protecting and also, hurting their own hearts. It’s like a double-sided sword.
They’re missing. I’m lost.
.. and you’re not even here.*
-Key.
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23 August
Taem, if you read this I’m in the hospital. Doctor called me.
-Key
Taem, your lunch is on the desk. Jinki’s second surgery have to be done asap, but they run out of blood type O. I will try to serch some donors. Can you ask your friends or WHOEVER who has O blood type?
Call me once you get it.
-key
How’s the surgery?
-minho
My heart is pessimistic, but i gotta prove it wrong.
-key
Minho, I will go to home, just to pick some stuffs. Get taemin off from his room and ask him to eat his dinner, we will visit jinki if he EAT his dinner.
-key
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24 August
OH THANKS GOD >_________________________< taem so happyyyyyyyyy
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28 August
Key hyung, I think you should go home and get a proper sleep. Look at the mirror and see the black circle under your eyes! Doctor said hyung’d be allowed to home the day after tomorrow. LALALALALALALALALA SYUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU
Taem
GOSH. DAMN TAEMIN. Why’re you being so “hyperactive” lately.
ps: Key, you really should STOP tucking those strawberry condoms into Taemin's pocket. i don't even like strawberry, fyi.
Minho
MINHO, TAEMIN, YOU’RE SO DAMN LOUD. URGH. KEEP THAT MOAN ON YOUR ROOM, FOR MY BEAUTY’S SAKE.
Key
i'm smelling something fishy here. someone was jealouuuuuuusssss
-taem
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30 August
Hallo, refrigerator notes :)
-onew
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1 September
Hyung, I need to go to school. I’ve made chicken soup, don’t forget to take your medicine after breakfast!
Will be home around 1 so we could go to your therapy together
-taem
You went so early, Taemin ah.
I’m sitting down at the kitchen now. Thinking about you, about key, about our parents. Seems like after the accident, you’ve grown up be a mature boy much more than I’ve ever thought. You cleaned up the house, take care of me, washed our clothes, although your homework was waiting to be touched. And key, even the words I love you can’t pay everything you’ve done to me, to us, I’m so thankful we met. And now I’m wondering. Am I good enough as a brother. And lover?
It was kind of question I always want to ask you. But then, I have no chance to ask. Or I just not dare enough to hear the answer.
-onew
I don’t know what to say, you’re the only brother I have and I just want you to be happy, hyung.
Ps: no, I’m not as mature as you, tbh.
-taem
I like the word “us”, babo. We should use it more often.
-key
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3 September
I’m a train wreck in the morning
I’m a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I’m a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren’t even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day
I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that’s why I love you
I neglect you when I’m working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I’m a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I’m a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I’m a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that’s exactly what I mean.
I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
and that’s why I love you**
-K.
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5 September
Thanks for accompanying me at my therapy :D
The drugs tasted horrible bleh :x
Tehehe. anyway, I made this yesterday while you were all at d school.
-----------------------------------
*writen by exotrisc at Tumblr! credits of that pharagraph belongs to her. she is wonderful <3
**Lyrics by Beyonce Knowles.
***the messy comic credits to me.