[one shot] The Rescue Team Of SHINee Special Issues.
~3813-ish w.c, Jinki centric, slight!Tofuho, CRACK, fail!angst.
disclaimer : NO.
summary : in which Jinki hates chicken, Minho is a fanboy, Jonghyun is useless, Key is being Key and who said Taemin is the innocent one?
'… and SM’s psychiatrist also said hi to us.'>
AN: first, my sincere apology to my beta ontaejongminkey. i'll be surely understand if she just sent my draft back but NO, she's sick and still did beta to me..
thankyou so much bb <33 and plis don't hate me okay? ;A;
AN 2: blame this picture (credits to whoever made this):
Today was an ordinary morning at SHINee’s dorm. Well, not so ordinary though, because after a week of extra chaotic schedules and tremendous amount of lack of sleep, finally-for once of, like, 2 months-they had a day off. At last they were free from all those crazy schedules and fangirl screams. Today, they could just curl up on their bed, do nothing, sleep until they were tired of it and just fool around like any other ordinary teenagers. Today, they could be their own natural self, without heavy mascara on their eyelashes and powder sticks on their face.
The clock’s steady tap accompanied by Jonghyun’s low hum-his sleep-singing habit-was the only sound inside the peaceful room. Taemin, who was curled up under his sheets, had been sleeping with Minho’s PSP tightly clutched on both of his hands. He had been playing the soccer game until 3 in the morning, in the name of being teenager and stubborn, before Key forcibly removed the batery of the machine. The maknae could do nothing, but to sleep with a spectacular pout in his face.
Minho, in all his tall glory, rolled on his bed, and wrapped his blanket tighter around his body. He felt a movement from the bed beside him, informing him that umma Key was starting to wake up.
And as Jonghyun continued to hum Replay (Korean version), maybe that was really a peaceful morning in the lives of the 5 idols of SHINee. Minho smiled slightly in his semi-sleep. He was starting to snort lightly, and slowly drift back to sleep when he heard something…someone shriek.
“AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Then a crash sounded, then another yelp, a loud thump, and that was the chaos that woke Jonghyun up. He rolled over his bed, subsequently knocking his dino head on the corner of bed. He groaned in pain. Taemin’s eyes snapped open, he threw anything in his grip as a reflex-action-that anything being Minho’s PSP. It flew far from his view and landed on something hard; Minho’s head. And Minho, who was blinking in confusion when the hit happened, didn’t know if he had to shout in pain or to shout because of the shock on the mysterious sound. In the end, he settled for kicking his comforter to the ground, and just sent a deathly glare on the maknae’s direction.
The trio lumbered from their bed and ran over to the source of the scream-the kitchen-just to witness the weirdest morning scene they’ve ever seen.
The umma of the band, Kibum, had his butt on the floor at the corner of the sink. His legs were propped up in a weird fashion--half-standing up, and half bent. His arms were bent back to support his weight. He looked all shocked as he panted heavily, and his cat-like eyes were staring at someone in front of him.
Lee Jinki.
If it was a surprise that Key wore a shocked expression, Jinki was even more. That was their smiling dubu leader, yes, yet at the moment he wasn’t smiling. Actually, he looked horrified. His soft skin was paler than usual, and he was sweating. Taemin blinked, swearing to himself that he saw a bit of tears in the corner of his leader’s eyes.
Jonghyun was the one who managed to speak first.
“.....wha-what happened?”
Kibum tore his gaze from Jinki’s crumbling face, and to the floor. The trio by the doorway followed automatically.
“...Jinki-hyung, why did you throw those chickens to the floor?”
Jinki’s response was priceless.
“THEY ARE EVIL!” he shrieked, pointing dramatically towards the chicken, which were laying innocently on their kitchen floor. Four pair of eyes widened, because Jinki and chickens are one and the same. They were their leader’s best friend, yet here he was really looking like he was about to cry, proclaiming the poultry…evil.
“What?” was the only word that Minho said.
“Those chickens…THEY ARE EVIL! I DON’T WANNA SEE THEM, GET THEM OUT OF HERE! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH DON’T TOUCH IT-KIBUM!” he yelled to the figure who suddenly got up from his place, and was starting to pick up the scattered chicken. Kibum was too shocked that he forgot to be angry.
Today was SHINee’s first day off for 2 months, and they spent the morning dragging Jinki out of the kitchen after finally managing to calm him down. Tucking him on the couch at the living room, they assured him that kibum will be okay, and that Taemin, Jonghyun and Minho would immediately help Kibum against the monster. Taemin even offered to be a human shield against the vile creatures, only if Jinki stopped yelling that the chickens would murder him and chew him into freakin pieces. And yes, for the rest of the day, they won’t eat those evil chickens again.
--------------------------
Two days after that, the non-sensical moment with chicken had been forgotten.
They would be starting their debut on Japan soon, so they were recording after recording, and practicing after practicing for that particular debut. Their schedules were so packed that they only have just three hours to sleep, reduce to that the time they needed to take a bath and eat something. Their schedules had been haunting them like a creditor (and girl scouts who sell cookies).
Taemin was the one who at least can keep his eyes open in the sideline of SHINee’s photoshoot, because he had fallen asleep on his class the whole morning. The other members seemed half dead, collapsing at the couch backstage. Jinki was an exception, though, because he had something to discuss with their manager-hyung. They were tired like hell, but everything was worth it as they thought of their endless love from the fans.
Come evening at the dorms, they were all huddled at the living room couch, for a brief announcement by their manager-hyung. They were still sweaty and stinky, but this particular discussion was pretty important, and cannot be put off until tomorrow.
“You will all be shooting another chicken CF, boys,” manager-hyung said, pointedly stressing the word chicken-probably for Jinki.
Minho cautiously glanced towards his leader, readying himself for a terrified outburst. Strangely enough, Jinki was calmly writing ‘chicken CF, tommorow, 9 am’, with tiny heart shapes around it, at his notebook.
--------------------------
“aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!”
Everyone at the indoor studio of the Chicken CF stopped their activity after they heard the horrified scream. The director looked like he nearly got a heart attack. He had been calmly explaining the concept of today’s cf shoot to all of the SHINee members, before one of the coordi-noona’s brought them one of the props-five boxes of delicious fried chicken. She handed it to the artists, oblivious to the inevitable. Inevitably, when Jinki saw the chicken, he started screaming girlishly. Everyone’s eyes (and jaws) widened (and dropped) in shock.
Minho immediately grabbed the box of fried chicken from Jinki’s hand and closed it. Jinki stopped screaming.
Kibum slowly touched the corner of the chicken box on Minho’s hand, lifting the cover open.
“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!”
Kibum closed the box.
Jinki’s scream immediately stopped.
Taemin shifted beside Kibum and opened his own chicken box.
“aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrhgggggghhhh! No! no! Don’t eat meeeeee!” Jinki cried and covered his face with his hands.
Everyone’s chin now fell to the floor.
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM?” the director shrieked.
--------------------------
“So, he just woke up as usual in the morning. 7 am. His day off. And was suddenly afraid of...chicken?” the manager tried not to looked so dumbfounded.
“Yup,” Kibum nodded.
The schedule of the CF shoot was delayed, as well as SHINee’s other performance schedule, because of Jinki’s condition. And now, the four of them-Kibum, Jonghyun, Taemin, and their manager-now gathered in the hallway, whispered on the air while the subject of their disscussion was sitting in front of the television with Minho, hand clumsily pushing buttons at his game controller. They needed to discuss this without Jinki, for he would definitely deny everything and say he was fine, when he was clearly not.
In the end of their brief meeting, nothing was deduced. SHINee’s manager sighed. Jonghyun frowned. Kibum clicked his tongue, for at least fifteen times. Taemin pouted.
Back at the living room, where the air was happy and not confused, Minho and Jinki were still playing Supermario. And Minho, who was known for his desire to always win at anything, tried his best to lose. Quite frankly, Jinki’s video game skills were not that good (and Minho was kind enough not to say ‘lame’). But, he was given the task to distract their leader for a while, until the rest of them finished the discussion with the manager. After a few failed attempts at trying to lose, Minho chose not to pay anymore attention to the game. Instead, he just stared at Jinki’s serious expression, cheeks puffed out, and little brown eyes narrowed slightly. Jinki looked cute, and Minho had to held the strong urge to pinch his cheeks and coo.
--------------------------
“It’s like a mental disease,” Kibum confidently explained.
“Yah! You think Jinki-hyung’s crazy?” Jonghyun snapped.
“No, you idiot. It means that I think he’s sick. Like, maybe he has amnesia, or he has some hurtful childhood memories inside his heart that was connected with chicken. They were revealed just now, and he’s trying hard to cope with them. Or, he could be traumatized by something…”
“Don’t pick the lines of those cheesy novels you read, hyung,” Minho groaned.
They had to find what’s wrong with their leader before Lee So Man-sshi decided to drag Jinki to SM’s psychiatrist, and force their hyung to talk. The rest of SHINee members, who knew Jinki with all their heart, immediately dropped that idea and tried to come up with their own. They knew that the psychiatrist might possibly just make Jinki more frightened.
Taemin, who had been eavesdropping at the whole conversation appeared from the kitchen, bringing a jar of chocolates cookies with him.
“Why can we not just ask him?” he innocently suggested.
Before Kibum can anwer with another snarky remark, they heard the clicking sound of the front door being opened. They need not go and look to know that the person who entered was Jinki, who had to repeat the recording of his part because one of the recording studio staff cluelessly brought them yummy mexicana fried chicken. The staff was shocked beyond words, not ready for Jinki’s reaction. They had to practically cover his mouth to stop him from apologizing while Jinki didn’t stop crying for an hour.
Jinki, exhausted with pale lips and dark circle around his eyes, sulked on his way to the couch where the rest of SHINee’s member gathered. He threw his bag and curled up on Jonghyun’s feet.
“Hyung,” Taemin cooed, shifting beside Jinki before placing his hand on Jinki’s back and massaging it slowly.
“eumblmm…” Jinki mumbled.
“Why are you afraid of chickens?”
“They-they would bite me into pieces…” Jinki murmured, eyes still closed. Minho threw his glance over Jonghyun’s head to Kibum, who stared back at him with eyes full of curiousity and anticipation.
“So, why do the chicken would want to bite you?” Kibum asked with something that Jonghyun liked to call ‘umma’s lullaby voice’. Jinki rolled on his back to face him.
“I don’t know Kibum-ah…They just keep coming when I sleep. They said they hate me so much for genociding their species and they need revenge…” he whined.
Jonghyun choked, and Taemin bit his lower lip to hide his chuckle. Minho, on other hand, took all of his self-control to not pinch Jinki’s cheek and hug him. Because, hell, the older man looked so damn cute.
“Ah, right…So, what can we do to make you not afraid of them?”
“…just don’t give me chicken?” Jinki answered lamely.
“It’s not the case,” Minho snorted. “The problem is why you have those weird dreams and why you even believe those nightmares. Because, geez hyung! They’re not even alive. The thing is cooked in boiling oil for minutes, they can’t bite you. I guarantee that.”
Kibum and Jonghyun stared at Minho with that ‘wow-i-never-knew-you-can-be-so-freakin-cheesy’ stare. Jinki just pouted. Taemin stopped massaging Jinki’s back and gladly ate all of chocolates cookies alone when the other’s attentions were not directed at him.
--------------------------
They think they’ve tried all of the methods they ever knew. So, now they will use their special and never before seen team: The Rescue Team Of SHINee Special Issues a.k.a TRTOSSI (“What’s with you and the stupid name?!” Kibum’s yell was pointedly ignored by the founder of the briliant name called Kim Jonghyun.)
They’re very first mission: Bring Jinki-Hyung Back To Normal And Being Lovey Dovey With Chicken For The Sake Of World Peace or BJHBTNABLDWCFTSOWP (“I swear Kim Jonghyun! You are an idiot. IDIOT.” Minho snapped right after Jonghyun wrote those words on a piece of Key’s pink paper. And much like Kim Kibum, Choi Minho was ignored.)
“Look, look! this article says…We can start with accustoming the patient with the picture of the something they are afraid of. Says here that we should give hyung positive suggestions that the thing is really not scary at all,” Taemin said, reciting the words that he saw on his laptop.
2 hours later, Kibum finally managed to pry Jinki’s body from its iron grip of Minho’s leg, and guided him into his room. Jonghyun rolled the picture of mexicana fried chicken, and tucked it under the sofa. Taemin, the mastermind of the first plan, sulked on his seat. God, he spent 45 minutes just to pick the best photo of chicken from thousands pictures google offered to him and it was rewarded with this. Minho, though, wondered if Key could be a nice person for once, and let Jinki cling to him much longer. The feeling of Jinki pressing his face to Minho’s leg was heavenly, to say the least.
Taemin’s idea was a complete fail, and now it was Jonghyun’s turn. He brought something silver that looked like a medal with a chain hanging on its side after their performance with Super Junior sunbaes.
--------------------------
“This thing,” Jonghyun proudly said. “Was Heechul-hyung’s brilliant idea called hypnotizing.”
He stretched out the medal in front of Jinki’s face at the living room. Minho, who was sitting beside Jinki at that time, looked more attracted to stare at Jinki’s confused expression rather than listening to Jonghyun’s long explanation, though.
Jonghyun then slowly swung the medal several times in front of Jinki, telling him that he had to follow the medal’s movement with his eyes and to not blink. Minho raised an eyebrow when Jonghyun whispered “Go and sleeeep.....”, “Go to your deepest dreams and do everything I tell you to do…”. The lead vocalist was saying this with some kind of unnecesary weird tone in his voice. Jinki’s eyes followed the medal perfectly, expression solemn and serious. Jonghyun whispered again and again with Jinki’s eyes still focused on the medal; he seemed even more awake than before, though.
30 minutes later, Jinki made his way to the kitchen to take some aspirin, because his head hurt. Jonghyun looked like a kicked puppy after Key said that his idea was even more useless than Taemin’s.
“Hypnotism was the way that Heechul-hyung seduced Hangeng-hyung to fall in love with him! There is absolutely no way that this method failed,” Jonghyun insisted, stubbornly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Key hit the dino head with Taemin’s biology book, exasperated. “Fyi, Heechul-hyung knew that Hangeng-hyung obviously just pretended to be hypnotized. Duh! Everybody can see that the man was absolutely glad to fuck Heechul-hyung willingly without the stupid medal swinging in front of his face first.” The diva explained.
Jinki choked on his water at Kibum’s choice of words. Minho rubbed his hyung’s neck affectionately. Taemin facepalmed at the background.
--------------------------
The next day, they woke up at 8 as usual. The four other members stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing their yes tiredly. Kibum was already there. Although like the others, he had only a few hours of sleep; Kibum’s expresssion was way too bright, and he was practically bouncing. Jonghyun questioned him if he won the lottery or what, but the umma just ignored him. Kibum just ushered all of them to eat the meal he made. The food was delicious, everyone aggred, happy and full after the breakfast. Jinki’s eyes disappeared into crescent moons when he smiled and threw his compliment into the other side of dining table. Kibum smiled back, his eyes flashing with something.
“The nugget,” Kibum started. “Those nuggets you’ve eaten were made from chicken, hyung.” He batted his eyelashes and smiled again. It was his way of telling the leader that ‘look hyung! The chicken was delicious! Not dangerous at all and you’ve eaten it happily.’
Jinki, ignoring the fact that he was perfectly fine and was not murdered by the thing he just ate, immediately ran and threw his entrails into the sink.
“Manager-hyung called,” Taemin announced after the puking spree. He was holding Jinki’s phone and was wearing a distraught expression. “He said our chicken CF’s shoot will be held the day after tomorrow. No buts. Whatever SHINee’s problem would have to be solved-“ Taemin paused.
“…SM’s psychiatrist also said hi to us.”
Jinki paled at the last statement.
--------------------------
“Hi hyung,” Minho greeted, opening the door. The person he called was sitting on his bed with blank expression.
“Hello, Minho,” he answered.
“You wanna talk?”
“No.”
“Oh…Okay,” Minho held his words back, even he was as curious as the others about Jinki’s chicken problem. But, he knew that forcing Jinki was not the best way to solve the problem. Well, maybe sometimes forcing worked, like when he forced Kyuhyun to treat him to cakes after he won the game. Or that time when he forced Eunhyuk to call him high master Choi Minho for a week, if he can steal Heechul’s underwear (which he can’t).
But that was not the point now. So, he just smiled and nodded lightly, making his way back to the living room. Jinki’s smooth voice caught his ears, and stopped him.
“Minho-ah, wanna watch some movies with me?”
Maybe with Jinki, forcing was never an option, Minho thought with a happy smile.
Both of them fell asleep at 4 am in front of the television. Jinki’s head was pillowed on Minho’s lap as the rapper’s head was on the couch cushion behind him. Jinki curled up even more and Minho unconciously moved.
The next morning, Taemin giggled and bounced around the sleeping December babies with a camera in his hand. He was studiously capturing the two’s sleeping position when Kibum showed up.
“Why are you snapping photo’s of them?” Kibum asked.
“Blackmail,” Taemin answered happily.
That same day, Minho woke up with numb arm and body-obviously annoyed of all the noise of the maknae’s giggle. He yawned, not aware of his and Jinki’s position. Taemin giggled even more. He felt something soft and warm on his arm, and his neck almost cracked when he snapped it on a sudden movement. He blushed when he saw Jinki’s sleeping face. Yes, Choi Minho blushed, thank you very much. Taemin’s camera snapped again while the still unaware Minho carefully shifted his arm, and placed a proper pillow under Jinki’s head.
--------------------------
“He isn’t awake yet?”
Kibum asked from the hallway, removing his shoes and placing them into the shelf. Jonghyun knelt beside the sleeping leader, and just stared. The JongKey pair have gone all day for an appointment at the salon. They have decided to split the appointment to two days, because hell, Jinki had refused to wake up even after their manager yelled to his ear. He could really be as stubborn as a mule, when he wanted. He had been sleeping for 9 hours!
“Errr…It looks like he’s dead! Wait, Minho! Check his pulse. Is he still alive?” Jonghyun panicked.
“Of course, pabo,” Minho facepalmed. He squeezed Jinki’s arm, and rubbed his side with gentle circles. Taemin got up from his seat, probably to take his camera again.
“Jinki-hyung...” Minho’s husky voice echoed in the leader’s head.
“Ummmm...” Jinki rubbed his eyes cutely (Minho mentally groaned at that), and slowly opened his eyes. He immediatey got up after he realized that two of his members were propped as if they have just gotten off a TV show.
“It’s okay hyung…They went to the salon for the appointment. Us three-Taemin, You and I-would go their tomorrow. Okay? Wanna eat something?” Minho took Jinki’s hand and guided him into the kitchen.
“I want chicken…” Jinki declared.
Everyone gaped.
--------------------------
“So-you just had those nightmares and hallucinations, because of fatigue? The lack of sleep?” Kibum stared at his leader with dumbfounded expression-his first ever dumbfounded expression. Taemin took his camera from his pocket.
“Don’t dare you, Lee Taemin,” Kibum hissed.
“Hah-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Jonghyun laughed, relieved. “Oh my Goodness hyung! You are so lucky that the psychiatric noona haven’t had the chance to get a hold of you first!”
Jinki smiled, staring at the chickens in front of him courtesy of their manager-hyung. The older man almost burst into tears when Kibum told him that Jinki was healed from his weird trauma or something like that. And, the middle-aged man immediately ran to SHINee’s dorm, and brought them 3 boxes of fried chicken. Jinki sighed happily.
“You know what,” He tore the sauce’s cover. “Chickens are not evil. They are friends. They feel honoured when we, people, eat them.”
Taemin snorted at Jinki’s childish explanation while Jonghyun nodded solemnly. Minho rubbed his sore neck, remembering the weird dreams he also had.
“Minho-yah…” Jinki called shyly.
“Yeah hyung?” Minho raised an eyebrow, and smiled.
“Ummm, thank you…”
“For what?”
“Umm, for...never mind. I just want to say thanks,” Jinki grinned. A pink shade appearing on his cheeks. Minho almost fainted over the cuteness. Or, maybe it was because Minho was too tired. He felt that he was about to faint.
“Minhoooo-yaahhhh!” the front door opened. Eunhyuk, with Donghae dragged behind him, entered the dorm and ran to their direction. “Oh, hi everyone!” he rephrased.
“Hi hyung!” everyone waved back.
“What’s going on?” Minho asked.
“Geez, so gloomy aren’t you,” Eunhyuk said, shaking his head in mock sadness.
“Look, I got the new soccer ball you ordered. I got it yesterday...” he handed the ball to the frozen Minho.
“AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO THEY ARE EVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL NOOO FUUUUCCKKKKK!” Minho shrieked, throwing the ball and running to their bedroom.
“ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!”
Jinki heard something was being ripped; a poster. Jonghyun pretended to not hear anything. Key rubbed his chest, looking like he was about to faint. Donghae and Eunhyuk just stood there with shocked expression.
Taemin grinned and ran towards the room, bringing his camera with him.
--------------------------
AN: this is pretty much inspired by Spongebob Square Pants too... guess which episode? xD
disclaimer : NO.
summary : in which Jinki hates chicken, Minho is a fanboy, Jonghyun is useless, Key is being Key and who said Taemin is the innocent one?
'… and SM’s psychiatrist also said hi to us.'>
AN: first, my sincere apology to my beta ontaejongminkey. i'll be surely understand if she just sent my draft back but NO, she's sick and still did beta to me..
thankyou so much bb <33 and plis don't hate me okay? ;A;
AN 2: blame this picture (credits to whoever made this):
Today was an ordinary morning at SHINee’s dorm. Well, not so ordinary though, because after a week of extra chaotic schedules and tremendous amount of lack of sleep, finally-for once of, like, 2 months-they had a day off. At last they were free from all those crazy schedules and fangirl screams. Today, they could just curl up on their bed, do nothing, sleep until they were tired of it and just fool around like any other ordinary teenagers. Today, they could be their own natural self, without heavy mascara on their eyelashes and powder sticks on their face.
The clock’s steady tap accompanied by Jonghyun’s low hum-his sleep-singing habit-was the only sound inside the peaceful room. Taemin, who was curled up under his sheets, had been sleeping with Minho’s PSP tightly clutched on both of his hands. He had been playing the soccer game until 3 in the morning, in the name of being teenager and stubborn, before Key forcibly removed the batery of the machine. The maknae could do nothing, but to sleep with a spectacular pout in his face.
Minho, in all his tall glory, rolled on his bed, and wrapped his blanket tighter around his body. He felt a movement from the bed beside him, informing him that umma Key was starting to wake up.
And as Jonghyun continued to hum Replay (Korean version), maybe that was really a peaceful morning in the lives of the 5 idols of SHINee. Minho smiled slightly in his semi-sleep. He was starting to snort lightly, and slowly drift back to sleep when he heard something…someone shriek.
“AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Then a crash sounded, then another yelp, a loud thump, and that was the chaos that woke Jonghyun up. He rolled over his bed, subsequently knocking his dino head on the corner of bed. He groaned in pain. Taemin’s eyes snapped open, he threw anything in his grip as a reflex-action-that anything being Minho’s PSP. It flew far from his view and landed on something hard; Minho’s head. And Minho, who was blinking in confusion when the hit happened, didn’t know if he had to shout in pain or to shout because of the shock on the mysterious sound. In the end, he settled for kicking his comforter to the ground, and just sent a deathly glare on the maknae’s direction.
The trio lumbered from their bed and ran over to the source of the scream-the kitchen-just to witness the weirdest morning scene they’ve ever seen.
The umma of the band, Kibum, had his butt on the floor at the corner of the sink. His legs were propped up in a weird fashion--half-standing up, and half bent. His arms were bent back to support his weight. He looked all shocked as he panted heavily, and his cat-like eyes were staring at someone in front of him.
Lee Jinki.
If it was a surprise that Key wore a shocked expression, Jinki was even more. That was their smiling dubu leader, yes, yet at the moment he wasn’t smiling. Actually, he looked horrified. His soft skin was paler than usual, and he was sweating. Taemin blinked, swearing to himself that he saw a bit of tears in the corner of his leader’s eyes.
Jonghyun was the one who managed to speak first.
“.....wha-what happened?”
Kibum tore his gaze from Jinki’s crumbling face, and to the floor. The trio by the doorway followed automatically.
“...Jinki-hyung, why did you throw those chickens to the floor?”
Jinki’s response was priceless.
“THEY ARE EVIL!” he shrieked, pointing dramatically towards the chicken, which were laying innocently on their kitchen floor. Four pair of eyes widened, because Jinki and chickens are one and the same. They were their leader’s best friend, yet here he was really looking like he was about to cry, proclaiming the poultry…evil.
“What?” was the only word that Minho said.
“Those chickens…THEY ARE EVIL! I DON’T WANNA SEE THEM, GET THEM OUT OF HERE! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH DON’T TOUCH IT-KIBUM!” he yelled to the figure who suddenly got up from his place, and was starting to pick up the scattered chicken. Kibum was too shocked that he forgot to be angry.
Today was SHINee’s first day off for 2 months, and they spent the morning dragging Jinki out of the kitchen after finally managing to calm him down. Tucking him on the couch at the living room, they assured him that kibum will be okay, and that Taemin, Jonghyun and Minho would immediately help Kibum against the monster. Taemin even offered to be a human shield against the vile creatures, only if Jinki stopped yelling that the chickens would murder him and chew him into freakin pieces. And yes, for the rest of the day, they won’t eat those evil chickens again.
--------------------------
Two days after that, the non-sensical moment with chicken had been forgotten.
They would be starting their debut on Japan soon, so they were recording after recording, and practicing after practicing for that particular debut. Their schedules were so packed that they only have just three hours to sleep, reduce to that the time they needed to take a bath and eat something. Their schedules had been haunting them like a creditor (and girl scouts who sell cookies).
Taemin was the one who at least can keep his eyes open in the sideline of SHINee’s photoshoot, because he had fallen asleep on his class the whole morning. The other members seemed half dead, collapsing at the couch backstage. Jinki was an exception, though, because he had something to discuss with their manager-hyung. They were tired like hell, but everything was worth it as they thought of their endless love from the fans.
Come evening at the dorms, they were all huddled at the living room couch, for a brief announcement by their manager-hyung. They were still sweaty and stinky, but this particular discussion was pretty important, and cannot be put off until tomorrow.
“You will all be shooting another chicken CF, boys,” manager-hyung said, pointedly stressing the word chicken-probably for Jinki.
Minho cautiously glanced towards his leader, readying himself for a terrified outburst. Strangely enough, Jinki was calmly writing ‘chicken CF, tommorow, 9 am’, with tiny heart shapes around it, at his notebook.
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“aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!”
Everyone at the indoor studio of the Chicken CF stopped their activity after they heard the horrified scream. The director looked like he nearly got a heart attack. He had been calmly explaining the concept of today’s cf shoot to all of the SHINee members, before one of the coordi-noona’s brought them one of the props-five boxes of delicious fried chicken. She handed it to the artists, oblivious to the inevitable. Inevitably, when Jinki saw the chicken, he started screaming girlishly. Everyone’s eyes (and jaws) widened (and dropped) in shock.
Minho immediately grabbed the box of fried chicken from Jinki’s hand and closed it. Jinki stopped screaming.
Kibum slowly touched the corner of the chicken box on Minho’s hand, lifting the cover open.
“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!”
Kibum closed the box.
Jinki’s scream immediately stopped.
Taemin shifted beside Kibum and opened his own chicken box.
“aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrhgggggghhhh! No! no! Don’t eat meeeeee!” Jinki cried and covered his face with his hands.
Everyone’s chin now fell to the floor.
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM?” the director shrieked.
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“So, he just woke up as usual in the morning. 7 am. His day off. And was suddenly afraid of...chicken?” the manager tried not to looked so dumbfounded.
“Yup,” Kibum nodded.
The schedule of the CF shoot was delayed, as well as SHINee’s other performance schedule, because of Jinki’s condition. And now, the four of them-Kibum, Jonghyun, Taemin, and their manager-now gathered in the hallway, whispered on the air while the subject of their disscussion was sitting in front of the television with Minho, hand clumsily pushing buttons at his game controller. They needed to discuss this without Jinki, for he would definitely deny everything and say he was fine, when he was clearly not.
In the end of their brief meeting, nothing was deduced. SHINee’s manager sighed. Jonghyun frowned. Kibum clicked his tongue, for at least fifteen times. Taemin pouted.
Back at the living room, where the air was happy and not confused, Minho and Jinki were still playing Supermario. And Minho, who was known for his desire to always win at anything, tried his best to lose. Quite frankly, Jinki’s video game skills were not that good (and Minho was kind enough not to say ‘lame’). But, he was given the task to distract their leader for a while, until the rest of them finished the discussion with the manager. After a few failed attempts at trying to lose, Minho chose not to pay anymore attention to the game. Instead, he just stared at Jinki’s serious expression, cheeks puffed out, and little brown eyes narrowed slightly. Jinki looked cute, and Minho had to held the strong urge to pinch his cheeks and coo.
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“It’s like a mental disease,” Kibum confidently explained.
“Yah! You think Jinki-hyung’s crazy?” Jonghyun snapped.
“No, you idiot. It means that I think he’s sick. Like, maybe he has amnesia, or he has some hurtful childhood memories inside his heart that was connected with chicken. They were revealed just now, and he’s trying hard to cope with them. Or, he could be traumatized by something…”
“Don’t pick the lines of those cheesy novels you read, hyung,” Minho groaned.
They had to find what’s wrong with their leader before Lee So Man-sshi decided to drag Jinki to SM’s psychiatrist, and force their hyung to talk. The rest of SHINee members, who knew Jinki with all their heart, immediately dropped that idea and tried to come up with their own. They knew that the psychiatrist might possibly just make Jinki more frightened.
Taemin, who had been eavesdropping at the whole conversation appeared from the kitchen, bringing a jar of chocolates cookies with him.
“Why can we not just ask him?” he innocently suggested.
Before Kibum can anwer with another snarky remark, they heard the clicking sound of the front door being opened. They need not go and look to know that the person who entered was Jinki, who had to repeat the recording of his part because one of the recording studio staff cluelessly brought them yummy mexicana fried chicken. The staff was shocked beyond words, not ready for Jinki’s reaction. They had to practically cover his mouth to stop him from apologizing while Jinki didn’t stop crying for an hour.
Jinki, exhausted with pale lips and dark circle around his eyes, sulked on his way to the couch where the rest of SHINee’s member gathered. He threw his bag and curled up on Jonghyun’s feet.
“Hyung,” Taemin cooed, shifting beside Jinki before placing his hand on Jinki’s back and massaging it slowly.
“eumblmm…” Jinki mumbled.
“Why are you afraid of chickens?”
“They-they would bite me into pieces…” Jinki murmured, eyes still closed. Minho threw his glance over Jonghyun’s head to Kibum, who stared back at him with eyes full of curiousity and anticipation.
“So, why do the chicken would want to bite you?” Kibum asked with something that Jonghyun liked to call ‘umma’s lullaby voice’. Jinki rolled on his back to face him.
“I don’t know Kibum-ah…They just keep coming when I sleep. They said they hate me so much for genociding their species and they need revenge…” he whined.
Jonghyun choked, and Taemin bit his lower lip to hide his chuckle. Minho, on other hand, took all of his self-control to not pinch Jinki’s cheek and hug him. Because, hell, the older man looked so damn cute.
“Ah, right…So, what can we do to make you not afraid of them?”
“…just don’t give me chicken?” Jinki answered lamely.
“It’s not the case,” Minho snorted. “The problem is why you have those weird dreams and why you even believe those nightmares. Because, geez hyung! They’re not even alive. The thing is cooked in boiling oil for minutes, they can’t bite you. I guarantee that.”
Kibum and Jonghyun stared at Minho with that ‘wow-i-never-knew-you-can-be-so-freakin-cheesy’ stare. Jinki just pouted. Taemin stopped massaging Jinki’s back and gladly ate all of chocolates cookies alone when the other’s attentions were not directed at him.
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They think they’ve tried all of the methods they ever knew. So, now they will use their special and never before seen team: The Rescue Team Of SHINee Special Issues a.k.a TRTOSSI (“What’s with you and the stupid name?!” Kibum’s yell was pointedly ignored by the founder of the briliant name called Kim Jonghyun.)
They’re very first mission: Bring Jinki-Hyung Back To Normal And Being Lovey Dovey With Chicken For The Sake Of World Peace or BJHBTNABLDWCFTSOWP (“I swear Kim Jonghyun! You are an idiot. IDIOT.” Minho snapped right after Jonghyun wrote those words on a piece of Key’s pink paper. And much like Kim Kibum, Choi Minho was ignored.)
“Look, look! this article says…We can start with accustoming the patient with the picture of the something they are afraid of. Says here that we should give hyung positive suggestions that the thing is really not scary at all,” Taemin said, reciting the words that he saw on his laptop.
2 hours later, Kibum finally managed to pry Jinki’s body from its iron grip of Minho’s leg, and guided him into his room. Jonghyun rolled the picture of mexicana fried chicken, and tucked it under the sofa. Taemin, the mastermind of the first plan, sulked on his seat. God, he spent 45 minutes just to pick the best photo of chicken from thousands pictures google offered to him and it was rewarded with this. Minho, though, wondered if Key could be a nice person for once, and let Jinki cling to him much longer. The feeling of Jinki pressing his face to Minho’s leg was heavenly, to say the least.
Taemin’s idea was a complete fail, and now it was Jonghyun’s turn. He brought something silver that looked like a medal with a chain hanging on its side after their performance with Super Junior sunbaes.
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“This thing,” Jonghyun proudly said. “Was Heechul-hyung’s brilliant idea called hypnotizing.”
He stretched out the medal in front of Jinki’s face at the living room. Minho, who was sitting beside Jinki at that time, looked more attracted to stare at Jinki’s confused expression rather than listening to Jonghyun’s long explanation, though.
Jonghyun then slowly swung the medal several times in front of Jinki, telling him that he had to follow the medal’s movement with his eyes and to not blink. Minho raised an eyebrow when Jonghyun whispered “Go and sleeeep.....”, “Go to your deepest dreams and do everything I tell you to do…”. The lead vocalist was saying this with some kind of unnecesary weird tone in his voice. Jinki’s eyes followed the medal perfectly, expression solemn and serious. Jonghyun whispered again and again with Jinki’s eyes still focused on the medal; he seemed even more awake than before, though.
30 minutes later, Jinki made his way to the kitchen to take some aspirin, because his head hurt. Jonghyun looked like a kicked puppy after Key said that his idea was even more useless than Taemin’s.
“Hypnotism was the way that Heechul-hyung seduced Hangeng-hyung to fall in love with him! There is absolutely no way that this method failed,” Jonghyun insisted, stubbornly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Key hit the dino head with Taemin’s biology book, exasperated. “Fyi, Heechul-hyung knew that Hangeng-hyung obviously just pretended to be hypnotized. Duh! Everybody can see that the man was absolutely glad to fuck Heechul-hyung willingly without the stupid medal swinging in front of his face first.” The diva explained.
Jinki choked on his water at Kibum’s choice of words. Minho rubbed his hyung’s neck affectionately. Taemin facepalmed at the background.
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The next day, they woke up at 8 as usual. The four other members stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing their yes tiredly. Kibum was already there. Although like the others, he had only a few hours of sleep; Kibum’s expresssion was way too bright, and he was practically bouncing. Jonghyun questioned him if he won the lottery or what, but the umma just ignored him. Kibum just ushered all of them to eat the meal he made. The food was delicious, everyone aggred, happy and full after the breakfast. Jinki’s eyes disappeared into crescent moons when he smiled and threw his compliment into the other side of dining table. Kibum smiled back, his eyes flashing with something.
“The nugget,” Kibum started. “Those nuggets you’ve eaten were made from chicken, hyung.” He batted his eyelashes and smiled again. It was his way of telling the leader that ‘look hyung! The chicken was delicious! Not dangerous at all and you’ve eaten it happily.’
Jinki, ignoring the fact that he was perfectly fine and was not murdered by the thing he just ate, immediately ran and threw his entrails into the sink.
“Manager-hyung called,” Taemin announced after the puking spree. He was holding Jinki’s phone and was wearing a distraught expression. “He said our chicken CF’s shoot will be held the day after tomorrow. No buts. Whatever SHINee’s problem would have to be solved-“ Taemin paused.
“…SM’s psychiatrist also said hi to us.”
Jinki paled at the last statement.
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“Hi hyung,” Minho greeted, opening the door. The person he called was sitting on his bed with blank expression.
“Hello, Minho,” he answered.
“You wanna talk?”
“No.”
“Oh…Okay,” Minho held his words back, even he was as curious as the others about Jinki’s chicken problem. But, he knew that forcing Jinki was not the best way to solve the problem. Well, maybe sometimes forcing worked, like when he forced Kyuhyun to treat him to cakes after he won the game. Or that time when he forced Eunhyuk to call him high master Choi Minho for a week, if he can steal Heechul’s underwear (which he can’t).
But that was not the point now. So, he just smiled and nodded lightly, making his way back to the living room. Jinki’s smooth voice caught his ears, and stopped him.
“Minho-ah, wanna watch some movies with me?”
Maybe with Jinki, forcing was never an option, Minho thought with a happy smile.
Both of them fell asleep at 4 am in front of the television. Jinki’s head was pillowed on Minho’s lap as the rapper’s head was on the couch cushion behind him. Jinki curled up even more and Minho unconciously moved.
The next morning, Taemin giggled and bounced around the sleeping December babies with a camera in his hand. He was studiously capturing the two’s sleeping position when Kibum showed up.
“Why are you snapping photo’s of them?” Kibum asked.
“Blackmail,” Taemin answered happily.
That same day, Minho woke up with numb arm and body-obviously annoyed of all the noise of the maknae’s giggle. He yawned, not aware of his and Jinki’s position. Taemin giggled even more. He felt something soft and warm on his arm, and his neck almost cracked when he snapped it on a sudden movement. He blushed when he saw Jinki’s sleeping face. Yes, Choi Minho blushed, thank you very much. Taemin’s camera snapped again while the still unaware Minho carefully shifted his arm, and placed a proper pillow under Jinki’s head.
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“He isn’t awake yet?”
Kibum asked from the hallway, removing his shoes and placing them into the shelf. Jonghyun knelt beside the sleeping leader, and just stared. The JongKey pair have gone all day for an appointment at the salon. They have decided to split the appointment to two days, because hell, Jinki had refused to wake up even after their manager yelled to his ear. He could really be as stubborn as a mule, when he wanted. He had been sleeping for 9 hours!
“Errr…It looks like he’s dead! Wait, Minho! Check his pulse. Is he still alive?” Jonghyun panicked.
“Of course, pabo,” Minho facepalmed. He squeezed Jinki’s arm, and rubbed his side with gentle circles. Taemin got up from his seat, probably to take his camera again.
“Jinki-hyung...” Minho’s husky voice echoed in the leader’s head.
“Ummmm...” Jinki rubbed his eyes cutely (Minho mentally groaned at that), and slowly opened his eyes. He immediatey got up after he realized that two of his members were propped as if they have just gotten off a TV show.
“It’s okay hyung…They went to the salon for the appointment. Us three-Taemin, You and I-would go their tomorrow. Okay? Wanna eat something?” Minho took Jinki’s hand and guided him into the kitchen.
“I want chicken…” Jinki declared.
Everyone gaped.
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“So-you just had those nightmares and hallucinations, because of fatigue? The lack of sleep?” Kibum stared at his leader with dumbfounded expression-his first ever dumbfounded expression. Taemin took his camera from his pocket.
“Don’t dare you, Lee Taemin,” Kibum hissed.
“Hah-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Jonghyun laughed, relieved. “Oh my Goodness hyung! You are so lucky that the psychiatric noona haven’t had the chance to get a hold of you first!”
Jinki smiled, staring at the chickens in front of him courtesy of their manager-hyung. The older man almost burst into tears when Kibum told him that Jinki was healed from his weird trauma or something like that. And, the middle-aged man immediately ran to SHINee’s dorm, and brought them 3 boxes of fried chicken. Jinki sighed happily.
“You know what,” He tore the sauce’s cover. “Chickens are not evil. They are friends. They feel honoured when we, people, eat them.”
Taemin snorted at Jinki’s childish explanation while Jonghyun nodded solemnly. Minho rubbed his sore neck, remembering the weird dreams he also had.
“Minho-yah…” Jinki called shyly.
“Yeah hyung?” Minho raised an eyebrow, and smiled.
“Ummm, thank you…”
“For what?”
“Umm, for...never mind. I just want to say thanks,” Jinki grinned. A pink shade appearing on his cheeks. Minho almost fainted over the cuteness. Or, maybe it was because Minho was too tired. He felt that he was about to faint.
“Minhoooo-yaahhhh!” the front door opened. Eunhyuk, with Donghae dragged behind him, entered the dorm and ran to their direction. “Oh, hi everyone!” he rephrased.
“Hi hyung!” everyone waved back.
“What’s going on?” Minho asked.
“Geez, so gloomy aren’t you,” Eunhyuk said, shaking his head in mock sadness.
“Look, I got the new soccer ball you ordered. I got it yesterday...” he handed the ball to the frozen Minho.
“AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO THEY ARE EVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL NOOO FUUUUCCKKKKK!” Minho shrieked, throwing the ball and running to their bedroom.
“ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!”
Jinki heard something was being ripped; a poster. Jonghyun pretended to not hear anything. Key rubbed his chest, looking like he was about to faint. Donghae and Eunhyuk just stood there with shocked expression.
Taemin grinned and ran towards the room, bringing his camera with him.
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AN: this is pretty much inspired by Spongebob Square Pants too... guess which episode? xD