Saturday, Dec. 23, 1995
And, the next morning! Worksafe this time.
By myself and new_kate, as usual. Thanks to devikun and andmydog for beta services!
The apartment looked kinda messier than usual. Joe'd probably come home piss-drunk again and passed out on his couch fully dressed. Or worse, butt-naked. That happened too.
Riley craned her head to peek into the front room. Yup, there was naked guy-ass hanging off Joe's couch. Riley approached it, not looking more than was strictly tactically necessary, and landed a sound slap with her open palm.
"Ew, Joe! Close your curtains if you can't keep your pants on!"
The owner of the ass jumped and looked at her with sleep-bleary green eyes. It totally wasn't Joe. It was a complete and utter stranger, and he was very naked right in their living room.
"Ouch," he said. "There are curtains? That is, good morning."
Riley stepped back, blinking. The imprint of her hand was glowing red on the man's skin and sure, Joe's ass was never that white, even before he did - whatever that perverted thing was he did to get rid of tan lines…
"Begone, demon child," Joe moaned from underneath the guy, and tried to pull him higher, like a warm blanket. The guy giggled and nodded to Riley:
"Ah, so sorry for disrupting your morning. Would you give us a moment to get decent, please?"
Riley let out a strangled squeak and retreated into the safe, predictable dullness of Donny's bedroom.
"Please, not the morning yet," Donny mumbled, hiding his face in the pillow while she bounced on his bed.
"Guess what," she said in a mysterious whisper. "Joe brought a guy home!"
"I know," Donny sighed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't look well rested at all.
"They’re naked," she announced. She waited for the appropriate reaction, but he just shuddered slightly and repeated:
"I know."
"Ew! Isn't that, like, against the rules? We don't bring people home!"
"Zane…" reminded Donny.
"That's different, he's Zane. You don't bring anyone home!"
"No, I don’t," Donny said, flatly, “So?” He looked a little sad, but she couldn't get distracted, she had a point to make.
"We know nothing about the guy! What if he's an ax murderer or a Jehovah's witness or something?"
"They can hear you, you know. And, well, maybe that's why Joe brought him home - I was here, so…"
"That creep!" she exclaimed, outraged. "I can't believe he'd sleep with an axe murderer just because you were here to save him! What happened to being cool and self-reliant?"
"Riley," Donny sighed. "Get the fuck out of my bedroom and let me get dressed."
"I can't. They’re out there being naked."
"No, we're not," Joe called from the kitchen. “Your virgin eyes are safe, for now.”
He was sitting at the table in his sweatpants, chomping on a huge plateful of eggs, and the slapped guy was at the stove, wearing a wrinkled business suit and making more food.
"Guys, this is Len," said Joe. "Len, these are my insane, embarrassing roomies Donny and Riley. Don't listen to anything they say."
"Pleased to meet you," Len said. He gave Donny a weird look and offered Riley a loaded plate. "Cheese omelet?"
"Thanks!" she said politely. "How's your ass?"
Joe choked on his food and started coughing into his plate. Riley really couldn't see why someone like Len, who actually seemed pretty nice, would want to make out with their gross Joe.
"It's fine, ah, thank you for asking."
The omelet was incredible - thick, fluffy, light, moist, golden and eggy and cheesy and totally delicious.
"This rocks! How'd you do it?" she said between mouthfuls.
"The trick is not to rush, to build the layers up gradually," Len answered readily. "I can teach you, if you like."
"Nah, that sounds boring. But maybe you could come over more often and cook for us!"
Joe kicked her under the table for no reason, and she jabbed his arm with her fork. But instead of screaming and pelting her with food, he remained creepily calm and said: "Stop that. Len will think you're not house-trained."
"So, uh, Len," asked Donny, poking at his omelet like something potentially explosive. "Tell us how you and Joe met."
"I bet he picked him up at the bar," Riley guessed. "Our Joe is trashy like that. Ow, will you quit kicking me? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"We did meet at the bar, actually," Len said happily. "We’ve been seeing each other for over a week and I think it's going rather well. Ah, please leave the dishes, I'll clean up before I go."
"Go where?" enquired Joe. "We have a date, remember? They have to go to work, soon, right, guys?"
"That's not for like an hour," said Riley. "Plenty of time for another round of omelets."
She handed her empty plate back to Len, who took it with a smile and returned to the stove. Joe was glaring at her pointedly, waggling his eyebrows, but she cheerfully ignored him. This was going to be so much fun.
*
Zane opened the door. Riley was lounging on the porch steps, face tipped toward the sky. He plopped down beside her.
“What’s up?”
She beamed at him, leaned over and licked the tip of his nose.
“Freak,” he said, wiping it on the sleeve of his t-shirt. Grinning.
“Joe has a boyfriend,” she said. “Wanna come over for dinner?”
“What?”
“Spaghetti night.”
“No, the other thing.”
“Joe. Boyfriend. I came home and they were naked.”
“Oh,” he said. “Together? What, in your room?”
“They forgot the curtain.”
“Jeez. Seriously?”
“He makes the most amazing omelets. You should meet him. His name’s Leonard and I think he’s a scientist. He’ll probably be at dinner.”
“So, is he another weirdo?” he asked, on the way to the shed for his 10-speed.
“Probably, but he seems nice. He spanked Joe with a spatula when he thought I wasn’t looking. Yup,” she sighed, stretching her arms over her head, “Joe's soooo whipped. Already.”
“Huh,” he said. Coming from Riley, he guessed he had to believe it.
Joe and his new boyfriend were making out when he and Riley walked in to the apartment. And it's not like Joe didn't walk around half-naked all the time, but- well, it was different when he had some guy's hands in his sweats, pushing the elastic down, fingers digging into his round ass-cheek and thank god they couldn't see much more from this angle because Riley would have - he didn't even know.
"Told you," she whispered, elbowing him.
"He doesn't look much like a spatula-wielding uberdom," Zane observed.
She snickered, and Joe finally retrieved his tongue from the other dude's throat and noticed them.
"Yo, monkeys," he said, shifting suggestively in his guy's lap, "There's burritos in the kitchen. Len made 'em."
Riley whooped and dashed off toward food. Zane watched Joe's friend - Leonard, Riley had said - straighten his glasses. Some background part of his brain was telling him just how to frame the little look they exchanged, to catch the words hidden in it: Joe's thumb resting against Leonard's throat, the brush of light reflected on Len's glasses, the negative space between their mouths.
"Riley's boyfriend," Joe told him, tilting his head in Zane's direction. "Zane, man, this is Len. Make nice."
"Hi," Zane said.
"It's good to meet you." Leonard nodded at him politely before his eyes wandered inevitably back to Joe. His smile was too - well, something. Too private to frame his whole face for. The curve of Len's lips and jaw alone would be enough. Zane grinned at them, deciding he liked this one, and turned toward the kitchen.
"Oh my God, Len, this is fucking great," Riley called, talking with her mouth full. "If Joe doesn't want you I'm totally keeping you. Zane get in here, or I'm not saving you any!"
"Girl's always like this about food," Zane heard Joe murmur, "'Course…"
His voiced lowered until Zane couldn't make it out over Riley pulling the tinfoil off a set of bowls on the table. Since when had there been bowls that nice in this house?
"Oh, awesome!" she said, gleefully dunking her half-eaten burrito into some newly-discovered salsa. "Hey, Joe!" she called, around another mouthful, "Donny said to say he'd be right up!"
"Maybe I should..." he heard, before Riley was banging something or other again. He slid into the chair across from her, putting a finger to his lips for silence. She winked at him, took another huge bite of burrito and slung her feet into his lap. Her leg hair was silky in one direction, rough in the other.
"Seriously," Joe was saying softly, "It's fine. Really. They're just-"
"Joe, it's not ..." Len told him, and then the hall door banged open and Donny clumped in in his heavy work boots.
By the time Riley was concocting her third burrito, Len had escaped the apartment. She was pouting into her tortilla and Zane was vaguely disappointed, but at least now they wouldn't have to be all nice to Joe or anything. Donny was slumped at the table, eyeing the guacamole suspiciously. Joe wandered in from the hall wearing the goofiest smile ever. He settled into his chair more carefully than usual, wincing a little.
Zane sniggered:
"Hey Joe, y'need me to get you a pillow?"
"Mind your own business, kid. You know I'll have my laugh later, when Riley discovers strap-ons."
Zane turned to Riley to watch her make that hilarious gross-out face, but she just smiled sweetly and piled more meat on her tortilla.
"So Jooooe," she drawled. "Did you and your boyfriend pick the rings yet?"
"Yes," Joe said. "Matching cockrings in black leather. Wanna see?"
That made her gag over her mouthful so bad Zane was worried for a moment, but finally she swallowed, grabbed the hot sauce bottle from the table and hurled it at Joe. He ducked, awkwardly squirming on the chair and doing his terrible version of an archvillain laugh.
"You know, Joe, I've been thinking," Donny said, drawing wavy lines in his refried beans. "Len... I don't really like him all that much."
"You don't like anybody I like," Joe pouted.
"That's not true. Buzz is all right. Now that you're legal and he's not technically molesting a minor, I can see he's actually a nice guy. Have you heard from him lately? Oh, and I liked that girl, what was her name..."
"Lora," said Riley, "Or Lana? Joe, you know who I mean, the yoga girl."
"No, no, the other one," said Donny. "The redhead. She was sweet. But Len is... he's a little weird. And he’s obviously from a wealthy family; you know how that can be. Besides, isn't he graduating soon? He'll probably have to leave Austin. Have you discussed that?"
There was a long pause. Joe was staring at Donny with his mouth open, loaded fork frozen in mid-air.
"Donny," he said quietly. "What the hell are you talking about? He's just some guy I fuck. He cruised me at the bar last week. End of a goddamn story."
"Oh suuuure, if you want to play it that way," Riley started with a broad grin, but something in Joe's level, blank stare made her trail off without finishing.
"You guys," he said, "Are so ridiculous. Newsflash - not everybody is a love-sick puppy. Adults meet and fuck and go on with their lives. That's how it works in the real world."
He kept eating, and they all sat around in awkward silence, watching him chew and swallow. He finished his helping and reached for more with a little content sigh.
"But you brought him home," Donny said dumbly.
"Mm, this is good. The man can really cook," Joe artfully arranged some rice on his plate and smirked up at Donny. "Yeah, Marie busted my chops for doing him in the men's, and I didn't have any better ideas at the time. You mind?"
Donny shook his head, not saying a word.
"You skank!" Riley threw her fork down and got up. There was still plenty of food on the table; she had to be seriously pissed to leave now. "Damn it, Joe, you are so gross.”
She stormed out and slammed the door so hard that the glass in the kitchen window rattled. Zane quickly crammed as much burrito as he could into his mouth, shot Joe a cold, venomous look - which was completely wasted since Joe didn't even look up from his plate - and went after her.
She was sitting at the bottom of the concrete steps, peeling old stickers from her skateboard. He perched next to her and nudged her with a knee, and she leaned sideways into him and hooked her chin over his shoulder.
He slid a hand comfortingly down her spine. She sighed and started picking at a loose thread on his shorts.
“I don’t know why I’m so pissed,” she said, tiredly.
There was something amazing about the way she fit against him, her face tucked against his shoulder, all the raw power she hid in her tiny little frame curled warm against his side. She smelled of hair gel and sweat, and he wanted her.
“What does Joe know about anything anyway,” he murmured.
“I wish he’d just grow up already,” she said. Her fingers tightened in the waist of his t-shirt for a moment, and he could feel her gather herself to leap into motion. “Agh, fuck this. I sound old,” she said, bouncing to her feet and smiling at him. “Was your mom making dinner tonight?”
“Dad was baking something when I left.”
“Ooooh. Then, what are we sitting around here for?” she asked, kicking her skateboard into her hands. “C’mon!”
By myself and new_kate, as usual. Thanks to devikun and andmydog for beta services!
The apartment looked kinda messier than usual. Joe'd probably come home piss-drunk again and passed out on his couch fully dressed. Or worse, butt-naked. That happened too.
Riley craned her head to peek into the front room. Yup, there was naked guy-ass hanging off Joe's couch. Riley approached it, not looking more than was strictly tactically necessary, and landed a sound slap with her open palm.
"Ew, Joe! Close your curtains if you can't keep your pants on!"
The owner of the ass jumped and looked at her with sleep-bleary green eyes. It totally wasn't Joe. It was a complete and utter stranger, and he was very naked right in their living room.
"Ouch," he said. "There are curtains? That is, good morning."
Riley stepped back, blinking. The imprint of her hand was glowing red on the man's skin and sure, Joe's ass was never that white, even before he did - whatever that perverted thing was he did to get rid of tan lines…
"Begone, demon child," Joe moaned from underneath the guy, and tried to pull him higher, like a warm blanket. The guy giggled and nodded to Riley:
"Ah, so sorry for disrupting your morning. Would you give us a moment to get decent, please?"
Riley let out a strangled squeak and retreated into the safe, predictable dullness of Donny's bedroom.
"Please, not the morning yet," Donny mumbled, hiding his face in the pillow while she bounced on his bed.
"Guess what," she said in a mysterious whisper. "Joe brought a guy home!"
"I know," Donny sighed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't look well rested at all.
"They’re naked," she announced. She waited for the appropriate reaction, but he just shuddered slightly and repeated:
"I know."
"Ew! Isn't that, like, against the rules? We don't bring people home!"
"Zane…" reminded Donny.
"That's different, he's Zane. You don't bring anyone home!"
"No, I don’t," Donny said, flatly, “So?” He looked a little sad, but she couldn't get distracted, she had a point to make.
"We know nothing about the guy! What if he's an ax murderer or a Jehovah's witness or something?"
"They can hear you, you know. And, well, maybe that's why Joe brought him home - I was here, so…"
"That creep!" she exclaimed, outraged. "I can't believe he'd sleep with an axe murderer just because you were here to save him! What happened to being cool and self-reliant?"
"Riley," Donny sighed. "Get the fuck out of my bedroom and let me get dressed."
"I can't. They’re out there being naked."
"No, we're not," Joe called from the kitchen. “Your virgin eyes are safe, for now.”
He was sitting at the table in his sweatpants, chomping on a huge plateful of eggs, and the slapped guy was at the stove, wearing a wrinkled business suit and making more food.
"Guys, this is Len," said Joe. "Len, these are my insane, embarrassing roomies Donny and Riley. Don't listen to anything they say."
"Pleased to meet you," Len said. He gave Donny a weird look and offered Riley a loaded plate. "Cheese omelet?"
"Thanks!" she said politely. "How's your ass?"
Joe choked on his food and started coughing into his plate. Riley really couldn't see why someone like Len, who actually seemed pretty nice, would want to make out with their gross Joe.
"It's fine, ah, thank you for asking."
The omelet was incredible - thick, fluffy, light, moist, golden and eggy and cheesy and totally delicious.
"This rocks! How'd you do it?" she said between mouthfuls.
"The trick is not to rush, to build the layers up gradually," Len answered readily. "I can teach you, if you like."
"Nah, that sounds boring. But maybe you could come over more often and cook for us!"
Joe kicked her under the table for no reason, and she jabbed his arm with her fork. But instead of screaming and pelting her with food, he remained creepily calm and said: "Stop that. Len will think you're not house-trained."
"So, uh, Len," asked Donny, poking at his omelet like something potentially explosive. "Tell us how you and Joe met."
"I bet he picked him up at the bar," Riley guessed. "Our Joe is trashy like that. Ow, will you quit kicking me? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"We did meet at the bar, actually," Len said happily. "We’ve been seeing each other for over a week and I think it's going rather well. Ah, please leave the dishes, I'll clean up before I go."
"Go where?" enquired Joe. "We have a date, remember? They have to go to work, soon, right, guys?"
"That's not for like an hour," said Riley. "Plenty of time for another round of omelets."
She handed her empty plate back to Len, who took it with a smile and returned to the stove. Joe was glaring at her pointedly, waggling his eyebrows, but she cheerfully ignored him. This was going to be so much fun.
*
Zane opened the door. Riley was lounging on the porch steps, face tipped toward the sky. He plopped down beside her.
“What’s up?”
She beamed at him, leaned over and licked the tip of his nose.
“Freak,” he said, wiping it on the sleeve of his t-shirt. Grinning.
“Joe has a boyfriend,” she said. “Wanna come over for dinner?”
“What?”
“Spaghetti night.”
“No, the other thing.”
“Joe. Boyfriend. I came home and they were naked.”
“Oh,” he said. “Together? What, in your room?”
“They forgot the curtain.”
“Jeez. Seriously?”
“He makes the most amazing omelets. You should meet him. His name’s Leonard and I think he’s a scientist. He’ll probably be at dinner.”
“So, is he another weirdo?” he asked, on the way to the shed for his 10-speed.
“Probably, but he seems nice. He spanked Joe with a spatula when he thought I wasn’t looking. Yup,” she sighed, stretching her arms over her head, “Joe's soooo whipped. Already.”
“Huh,” he said. Coming from Riley, he guessed he had to believe it.
Joe and his new boyfriend were making out when he and Riley walked in to the apartment. And it's not like Joe didn't walk around half-naked all the time, but- well, it was different when he had some guy's hands in his sweats, pushing the elastic down, fingers digging into his round ass-cheek and thank god they couldn't see much more from this angle because Riley would have - he didn't even know.
"Told you," she whispered, elbowing him.
"He doesn't look much like a spatula-wielding uberdom," Zane observed.
She snickered, and Joe finally retrieved his tongue from the other dude's throat and noticed them.
"Yo, monkeys," he said, shifting suggestively in his guy's lap, "There's burritos in the kitchen. Len made 'em."
Riley whooped and dashed off toward food. Zane watched Joe's friend - Leonard, Riley had said - straighten his glasses. Some background part of his brain was telling him just how to frame the little look they exchanged, to catch the words hidden in it: Joe's thumb resting against Leonard's throat, the brush of light reflected on Len's glasses, the negative space between their mouths.
"Riley's boyfriend," Joe told him, tilting his head in Zane's direction. "Zane, man, this is Len. Make nice."
"Hi," Zane said.
"It's good to meet you." Leonard nodded at him politely before his eyes wandered inevitably back to Joe. His smile was too - well, something. Too private to frame his whole face for. The curve of Len's lips and jaw alone would be enough. Zane grinned at them, deciding he liked this one, and turned toward the kitchen.
"Oh my God, Len, this is fucking great," Riley called, talking with her mouth full. "If Joe doesn't want you I'm totally keeping you. Zane get in here, or I'm not saving you any!"
"Girl's always like this about food," Zane heard Joe murmur, "'Course…"
His voiced lowered until Zane couldn't make it out over Riley pulling the tinfoil off a set of bowls on the table. Since when had there been bowls that nice in this house?
"Oh, awesome!" she said, gleefully dunking her half-eaten burrito into some newly-discovered salsa. "Hey, Joe!" she called, around another mouthful, "Donny said to say he'd be right up!"
"Maybe I should..." he heard, before Riley was banging something or other again. He slid into the chair across from her, putting a finger to his lips for silence. She winked at him, took another huge bite of burrito and slung her feet into his lap. Her leg hair was silky in one direction, rough in the other.
"Seriously," Joe was saying softly, "It's fine. Really. They're just-"
"Joe, it's not ..." Len told him, and then the hall door banged open and Donny clumped in in his heavy work boots.
By the time Riley was concocting her third burrito, Len had escaped the apartment. She was pouting into her tortilla and Zane was vaguely disappointed, but at least now they wouldn't have to be all nice to Joe or anything. Donny was slumped at the table, eyeing the guacamole suspiciously. Joe wandered in from the hall wearing the goofiest smile ever. He settled into his chair more carefully than usual, wincing a little.
Zane sniggered:
"Hey Joe, y'need me to get you a pillow?"
"Mind your own business, kid. You know I'll have my laugh later, when Riley discovers strap-ons."
Zane turned to Riley to watch her make that hilarious gross-out face, but she just smiled sweetly and piled more meat on her tortilla.
"So Jooooe," she drawled. "Did you and your boyfriend pick the rings yet?"
"Yes," Joe said. "Matching cockrings in black leather. Wanna see?"
That made her gag over her mouthful so bad Zane was worried for a moment, but finally she swallowed, grabbed the hot sauce bottle from the table and hurled it at Joe. He ducked, awkwardly squirming on the chair and doing his terrible version of an archvillain laugh.
"You know, Joe, I've been thinking," Donny said, drawing wavy lines in his refried beans. "Len... I don't really like him all that much."
"You don't like anybody I like," Joe pouted.
"That's not true. Buzz is all right. Now that you're legal and he's not technically molesting a minor, I can see he's actually a nice guy. Have you heard from him lately? Oh, and I liked that girl, what was her name..."
"Lora," said Riley, "Or Lana? Joe, you know who I mean, the yoga girl."
"No, no, the other one," said Donny. "The redhead. She was sweet. But Len is... he's a little weird. And he’s obviously from a wealthy family; you know how that can be. Besides, isn't he graduating soon? He'll probably have to leave Austin. Have you discussed that?"
There was a long pause. Joe was staring at Donny with his mouth open, loaded fork frozen in mid-air.
"Donny," he said quietly. "What the hell are you talking about? He's just some guy I fuck. He cruised me at the bar last week. End of a goddamn story."
"Oh suuuure, if you want to play it that way," Riley started with a broad grin, but something in Joe's level, blank stare made her trail off without finishing.
"You guys," he said, "Are so ridiculous. Newsflash - not everybody is a love-sick puppy. Adults meet and fuck and go on with their lives. That's how it works in the real world."
He kept eating, and they all sat around in awkward silence, watching him chew and swallow. He finished his helping and reached for more with a little content sigh.
"But you brought him home," Donny said dumbly.
"Mm, this is good. The man can really cook," Joe artfully arranged some rice on his plate and smirked up at Donny. "Yeah, Marie busted my chops for doing him in the men's, and I didn't have any better ideas at the time. You mind?"
Donny shook his head, not saying a word.
"You skank!" Riley threw her fork down and got up. There was still plenty of food on the table; she had to be seriously pissed to leave now. "Damn it, Joe, you are so gross.”
She stormed out and slammed the door so hard that the glass in the kitchen window rattled. Zane quickly crammed as much burrito as he could into his mouth, shot Joe a cold, venomous look - which was completely wasted since Joe didn't even look up from his plate - and went after her.
She was sitting at the bottom of the concrete steps, peeling old stickers from her skateboard. He perched next to her and nudged her with a knee, and she leaned sideways into him and hooked her chin over his shoulder.
He slid a hand comfortingly down her spine. She sighed and started picking at a loose thread on his shorts.
“I don’t know why I’m so pissed,” she said, tiredly.
There was something amazing about the way she fit against him, her face tucked against his shoulder, all the raw power she hid in her tiny little frame curled warm against his side. She smelled of hair gel and sweat, and he wanted her.
“What does Joe know about anything anyway,” he murmured.
“I wish he’d just grow up already,” she said. Her fingers tightened in the waist of his t-shirt for a moment, and he could feel her gather herself to leap into motion. “Agh, fuck this. I sound old,” she said, bouncing to her feet and smiling at him. “Was your mom making dinner tonight?”
“Dad was baking something when I left.”
“Ooooh. Then, what are we sitting around here for?” she asked, kicking her skateboard into her hands. “C’mon!”