[fic] "Blue Moon" (Hetalia) part 2
They left the malt shop and continued on their way to Roderich’s house. As much as he wanted to avoid the whole issue and the subsequent consequences, Roderich knew his cousin was right. Not only did he need to own up to his responsibilities, but he had to take the good with the bad and the sooner he told everyone, the better.
Upon reaching his home, Roderich opened the front gate and stepped inside, Gilbert a half step behind him. The cousins walked up the path leading to the house and when they reached the stoop, Roderich paused.
“Come on, Specs, you can do it,” Gilbert encouraged.
Nodding, Roderich climbed the steps and was on the porch in what felt like a heartbeat. Opening the front door, the cousins stepped inside. “Mom, Dad, Bubbe, I’m home!” Roderich called out. “Gil’s here too!”
“We’re in here, Sweetie!” Roderich’s mother trilled.
“We’re in here, Sweetie,” Gilbert mouthed, before snorting in amusement. “Just promise me, you won’t let Lizzie act like that. As much as I love Aunt Shelley…” he chuckled.
“I know…” Roderich agreed.
They came into the front parlor and greeted everyone, before making themselves at home.
“Hey, Bubbe,” Gilbert said as he sat next to his grandmother.
“Gilbert,” she said tersely.
“Mom, Dad, Bubbe, I’ve…” Roderich started to say as three expectant faces looked up at him. “I-I… Ummm…”
Wilhelmine Edelstein grew tired of her grandson’s nonsense. “What is it, boychick?”
“I’m getting married,” Roderich said.
“What is this nonsense?” Wilhelmine demanded.
Charles laughed. “Very funny, son,” he said. Looking at her, he added, “It’s nothing, Mother, just Roddy’s idea of a joke.”
Wilhelmine made a little sound of disgust. “It’s in very poor taste.”
“Bubbe, I love her and we… ummm… and ummm…” Roderich trailed off helplessly.
“Tell them, Specs,” Gilbert prompted. “It ain’t gonna get any easier if you wait.”
“Gilbert, what have you put my grandson up to?”
“Nothing, Bubbe, he did this all on his own. Didn’t you, Specs?”
Roderich sighed. “I’m sorry, I got Lizzie in trouble,” he said softly.
“Excuse me?!” Charles said as he looked at his son like he could not believe what he heard. “Gilbert, is this your idea of a joke?”
“Uncle Charlie, I swear on Muti’s memory, that I had nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with it.” He looked at his cousin. “And it’s no joke, seriously…” He frowned at his uncle. “First Vati and now you… why does everything think I did it?” Gilbert groused.
“Because you’re a juvenile delinquent,” Wilhelmine hissed.
“Hey! I’m a good boy, Bubbe! I don’t skip school, I get good grades, I work hard, I look after my little brother… and my idiot cousin,” he finished dryly. “But everyone thinks I’m this horrible person!”
“Gil, as much as I appreciate you taking the heat off me, I don’t think now is the time for it,” Roderich said.
“Fine!” Gilbert huffed as he rolled his eyes and sat back on the sofa. He folded his arms across his chest and smirked at his grandmother.
“Anyway… whatever faults you think Gil has, he did tell me I needed to be a man and take responsibility.” Roderich squared his shoulders and drew himself up to his full height. “And that means getting married a lot sooner than anyone had any idea I would be.”
“I see…” Charles said. He was clearly not happy with his son.
Roderich felt terrible about disappointing him, but he pressed on, “I’ve already spoken to her father and he wasn’t exactly thrilled about it either.”
“No man would be hearing that news, son.”
“Yeah… But he didn’t say we couldn’t get married, so I want to do the right thing and get married.”
“But she’s not Jewish, Roddy,” Shelley pointed out.
“So? You didn’t seem to have a problem with that when we were going steady,” Roderich replied, his voice taking on a petulant whine.
“We never expected it last beyond graduation, sweetie,” his mother said. “Besides, you’re going to go to Julliard in the fall and you’ll meet other girls, nice girls…”
“Elizabeta is a nice girl,” Roderich insisted.
“She’s a nafka!” Wilhelmine spat. “Nice girls don’t entice good boys into doing that before marriage!”
“Is that how you saw Muti…?” Gilbert said softly.
“Yes! She ruined herself with that-that! Argh!!” Eyes narrowed in anger, she wagged her finger at Gilbert, before turning her attention to Roderich, “You will have nothing more to do with that girl, do you hear me, Roderich?!”
“Yes, Bubbe…” he miserably replied.
“That’s bullshit!” Gilbert glared at his grandmother.
“Gilbert Beilschmidt! We do not use that kind of language!” Charles got up and walked over to them.
“Sorry, Uncle Charlie, but that was a crock of manure. You know what? I’m tired of kissing everyone’s ass, especially yours, Bubbe!” Gilbert got up and pushed past his uncle.
“Gilbert!”
Ignoring him, he said, “I’m outta here. See you later, Specs.” Gilbert headed towards the front door.
“Wait, Gil!” Roderich called out as he hurried after him.
Gilbert opened the door and stepped outside, slamming it shut behind him. He hurried down the steps and was striding down the front walk by the time Roderich made it outside.
“Gil! Wait!”
Gilbert heaved a long suffering sigh and waited. Roderich jogged over to him. “I’m sorry, Gil. They didn’t mean it.”
“Didn’t mean it?! What are you crazy?! They called Lizzie a whore, Specs! And there’s no way they’re going to let you get married!”
“They’ll come around, Gil.”
“When? After Lizzie has the baby? Her parents will send her away to one of those you know, homes for unwed mothers and when she comes back, Specs, there ain’t gonna be a baby… Girls that go there don’t bring the babies home. Jesus, Specs, even an idiot like Feli knows that! And if you think Mr. H is gonna let you get near her after that…” he snorted. “You’ve got another thing coming!”
“Then what am I going to do, Gil?”
Gilbert heaved a long suffering sigh. “Come to the bowling alley with me.”
“What?! Now who’s the crazy one, Gil?!”
Gilbert looked at him as a grin slowly spread across his face that had turned into a smirk somewhere along the way. “Time’s come to start thinkin’ crazy, Specs! We’re gonna get you to the church on time if it kills me…” He slung his arm around his cousin’s shoulders as they started walking in the direction of the bowling alley. “Or in your case, temple.” He smirked.
“That’s what I’m afraid of…” Roderich said miserably.
“Come on, Specs, cheer up. By this time tomorrow, if all goes well, you and Lizzie’ll be married. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yeah… but…”
“But nothing. Just leave the details to me.”
“Like I have a choice?”
“No… Well, you did, but kinda gave that up when you and Lizzie va-va-vavoomed.” Gilbert waggled his eyebrows.
Roderich blushed. “Yeah… well, umm…”
“So was it, you know, everything they say it is?”
Roderich looked at him like he had three heads. “You should know, Gil, you’ve done it before.”
“Actually I haven’t…” Gilbert reluctantly admitted.
“Get out of here! Gilbert Beilschmidt, resident bad-boy, never had sex before?!”
“Sssh!! Keep it down, Specs! I have a reputation to uphold, but yeah. You know why I only had one date with Lizzie?”
Roderich frowned as he shook his head in disbelief. “Okay, why?”
“Vati came home early and found us kissing. Kissing, that’s all we were doing, Specs, and both of us still had our clothes on too.” Gilbert shook his head. “If you thought Vati was pissed before, you shudda seen him then. Shit! I thought he was going to kill me!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah… He made us get in the car and he drove us over to her house and I walked her up to the door and…” Gilbert shrugged. “I got grounded for two weeks too, but I did the crime, so I had to serve my time.”
“Oh…So that’s why she said she had a headache and you nicely brought her home. No one believed it, but when you didn’t brag about you know…”
Gilbert nodded. “She’s a classy lady, Specs, and that’s why you gotta marry her.”
“Yeah… but how? You saw my family.”
“Just elope. Hey, if it was good enough for my parents, it should be good enough for you and Lizzie, right?”
“Yeah… but when and how?”
“Leave that to your friends, Specs.”
“Why do I find that less than reassuring?”
Gilbert laughed as they entered the bowling alley. The Willows were belting out “The Church Bells May Ring” on the jukebox amid the soft rumble of conversation and the loud crack and clatter of several bowling balls striking various pins, knocking them down. After getting a pair of bowling shoes, they went in search of their friends. Even though the bowling alley was crowded because it Saturday, it did not take long to find them.
“Hey, guys!”
“Gilbo!” Francis called out in greeting as they sat down. He was keeping score and took a few minutes to add up Ludwig’s score. “Nice spare, Louie. You’re in the lead now.”
“Thanks…” Ludwig sat down next to his brother. “I thought you two were never going to get here.”
“Yeah, well, we had something we needed to do first.”
Antonio sauntered over with a couple of bottles of coke. He gave two of them to the Vargas brothers, keeping the third one for himself. “So what did Lizzie’s father say, when you asked for her hand?”
“Nothing much…” Roderich replied.
“Oh, so are you two getting married or what?”
“Yeah…”
“They’re gonna elope,” Gilbert said as he reached for Antonio’s coke. Taking it from him, he drank some, before handing it back. Ignoring the startled buzz from their friends, he watched as Lovino got up and bowled a strike. “Nice, Lovey!” he said when Lovino sat down again.
“Thanks… Your turn, Chooch,” he said to his brother. Taking the soda bottles from him, he drank his own as Feliciano got up to bowl. “What’d I miss?”
“Specs is eloping with Lizzie,” Gilbert told him.
“No shit! When?” He looked over at his brother in time to see him bowl a gutter ball. “Feli you dumb chooch! You’re not supposed to throw gutter balls!!”
“Sorry, Lovey!”
“And don’t call me that!”
“Sorry, Lovino!” Feliciano said as a second gutter ball followed the first.
Gilbert smirked. “Anyway, they’re running off tonight, ain’t you, Specs?”
“What?!” Roderich’s look of surprise matched the one on his friends’ faces.
“Look, the only way to pull this off is to do it tonight,” Gilbert said.
“Oh-kay…” Roderich began, “So we elope tonight, but you do realize there’s more than one little problem with your plan, Gil.”
“Mere details, Specs.” Gilbert got up to bowl. While he bowled a spare, the others peppered Roderich with questions; he had no real answers for. Gilbert sauntered back and sat. “Figure it out yet?”
“No…”
“Just let us Knights handle your problem, you just think about getting married, Specs.”
“But…”
“But nothing. So anyone figure out what to do yet?” Gilbert looked at his friends.
“Ummm,” Feliciano said. “Louie and I can go get her.”
“Okay,” Gilbert grinned, “There’s part of your problem taken care of, Specs. Next?”
“Wait, wait, wait! How are you going to do that? It’s nine-thirty, her parents aren’t going to let her go out,” Roderich said.
Gilbert squeezed Feliciano’s cheeks together with the fingers of one hand. “How can you resist this face?”
Roderich heaved a long suffering sigh as he rubbed tiredly at his forehead.
Francis spoke up, “Okay, we’ve got the girl, now correct me if I’m wrong, but where are you getting married?”
“My cousin’s a priest,” Antonio said. “Maybe we can go to his church…?”
“Yeah…” Lovey chuckled. “He let us drink some of the sacramental wine that afternoon we came over and painted his office in the rectory.”
“Yeah…” Antonio smiled. “My old man kicked my ass too for getting drunk.”
“When Lovey came home drunk and puked out front, Grandpa smacked his.”
“Shut up, Feli!” Lovino turned beet red.
“But maybe a church wedding isn’t the best in this instance…” Antonio said. “But we’ll still go get him.”
“Okay, so now we’ve got a girl and a priest, we need a ring, Specs. You can’t get married without one.”
Francis stopped adding up the scores just long enough to twist a pinky ring off his finger. “Here, you can borrow this, Roddy, until you can get her a proper ring.” He handed it to him.
“Thanks, Francis.”
“No problem.” He smiled. “You’ll need a best man too.”
“I have one,” Roderich looked over at Gilbert.
“Yeah, me.” Gilbert grinned.
“She’ll want some bridesmaids,” Ludwig said quietly as everyone turned to stare at him. “What? I remember Muti telling Oma, she wished she had a big wedding with lots of bridesmaids.”
Gilbert looked surprised to hear that. “She did?”
Ludwig nodded. “Oma told her not to worry about it. She said a big wedding was nothing but showing off for the guests and that what she had was even better. You know, Gil; me, you, Vati…”
Gilbert nodded. “So… Now we need some bridesmaids, but who?” He furrowed his brow as he mulled it over.
“Leave that to me,” Francis said cryptically. “I’ll get her some bridesmaids.”
“Okay, so we’ll meet where and when?”
“Grandpa’s pizzeria in an hour,” Lovino said. “And you chooches had better be there on time too!”
“Although, I’m sure Grandpa won’t mind if you get married after it closes,” Feliciano added.
“An hour it is. Looks like you’re getting married after all, Specs.”
“Yeah… Thanks, guys.”
They finished their game. After dropping off their bowling shoes and getting their own back, they dispersed to go do what they had to do to make the wedding a reality. Roderich and Gilbert were walking back to Gilbert’s house, when it hit Roderich. “Gil?”
“Yeah?”
“How come no one questioned why I was getting married in such a hurry?”
“Cuz even though Lovey likes to call us a bunch of idiots, we’re not stupid, Specs.”
“You told them!”
“No, but think about it.” Gilbert smirked. “Seriously, school’s almost out and lots of people get married the week after graduation, but they probably figured somebody’s parent must have put the kybosh on that. And well, we all like you and Lizzie and want to see you happy. That’s what friends do, Specs.” Even though I’d give anything to be marrying her, I know deep down she really loves you, not me… And if marrying you makes her happy, then how I can I make her unhappy when I love her so…?
Roderich grinned. “You’re right.”
They headed up the driveway and were met by Gilbert’s father, who was sitting on the porch, drinking a beer. “Boys.” Wolfgang nodded in greeting.
“Hey, Vati! Ummm… Vati?”
“Ja?”
“Can Specs stay over?”
Wolfgang raised an eyebrow. He said nothing for a few minutes as he studied his son and nephew. He had the feeling something was up and that it wasn’t good. He drank his beer. “Do I need to call Carl?”
“No, Uncle Wolfie.”
Gilbert sighed. “Uncle Charlie was about as happy as you were when he heard the news, Vati.”
“I see.” Wolfgang drank another mouthful of beer.
“So, Vati, can I borrow your car?”
“What’s wrong with your bike?”
“Lutz has it.”
“You know I don’t like him riding it, especially when it’s dark out.”
“I know, Vati, but this was important and he needed to borrow it.”
“Yeah…” Roderich said.
“Should I ask what you’re up to?”
“Vati, you can ask, but, ummm… can you ask me later?”
“Yeah, the less you know, Uncle Wolfie, the better,” Roderich added.
Wolfgang’s eyebrow climbed even higher up his forehead.
“Vati, I promise what we’re doing isn’t illegal, and the worst thing that’ll happen is the old lady’ll be extra pissed.”
“Gilbert…”
“Sorry, Vati, Bubbe Edelstein will be annoyed.”
Wolfgang stared at his son for several long tense minutes, before he set his beer bottle down and leaning over towards the left; he fished his wallet out of his back pocket. Opening it, he took out a five dollar bill. “In case you need it, boys.”
“Thanks!”
“And, Gilbert, my keys are inside,” Wolfgang drank his beer. “Oh, if I find out you went dragging; you will be spending every weekend working at the gas station and every day during the summer, understood?”
“Understood, Vati, but like I said, we’re not doing anything illegal.” Gilbert walked up the two steps to his porch and disappeared inside the house for a few minutes to get the keys.
“I did the same thing when I was your age,” Wolfgang said.
“Yeah?”
Wolfgang nodded. “Sophie and I went to school that Friday and instead of going home afterwards, we went to the town hall and got married.”
“I bet Bubbe wasn’t happy, hunh?”
“No and neither were my parents, although things were a bit better once Gilbert was born.”
Roderich smiled. “That’s good to hear.”
“You two going to stay here tonight?”
“I guess so, although, Gil seems to feel I don’t have to worry about it.”
“Worry about what?” Gilbert asked as he exited his house and came over to them.
“Where Lizzie and I are spending the night.”
“Oh, well, uhh… we’ll worry about that later. I don’t know when we’ll be home, Vati, but Lutz is with us.”
Wolfgang nodded.
“And Uncle Wolfie,” Roderich began.
“Ja?”
“We’re going to Sal’s Pizzeria, that if anyone asks, but we’d prefer it if you didn’t tell anyone, Vati, until a bit later,” Gilbert finished.
“Okay, but if Roderich’s parents call, I’m not going to lie to them, Gilbert.”
“Oh, well, hopefully they won’t call. Come on, Specs! See you later, Vati!”
Wolfgang nodded as his son and nephew hurried over to his car. He drank the rest of his beer as they pulled out of the driveway, “Come and Go With Me” playing on the radio as they drove off. Wolfgang looked up at the stars, his expression sad and wistful. “Remember how I used to worry about Gilbert, Sophie,” he said softly, “It seems I never had to.” Wolfgang paused as he watched the night sky. “And who knew Roderich would be the one to follow in our footsteps?” He shook his head as a fond smile briefly tugged at lips. “I hope they’ll be as happy as we were, despite everything life threw at us.” He got up and went inside.
On the other side of town, Ludwig and Feliciano stood under Elizabeta’s window, trying to get her to come down and leave with them. “Please. Lizzie! It’s important you come with us.”
“It’s almost ten o’clock, Louie; my parents aren’t going to let me leave.”
“But we’re the Teutonic Knights and we’re here to rescue a damsel in distress, cuz that’s what knights do, right, Louie?” Feliciano said.
“Yeah… So are you coming?”
“How?”
“Can’t you climb out the window?” Feliciano suggested.
“No, I can’t. What if I fall?” I could lose the baby and this would all be moot…
“Then just grab something pretty to wear and walk out the front door,” Ludwig suggested.
Feliciano nodded. “Yeah! And we got Gilbo’s bike so we can make a quick getaway!”
Elizabeta giggled. “You guys are crazy! But I guess you guys wouldn’t be Teutonic Knights if you weren’t.”
“Yeah, but you have to be too if you’re going to elope, right?” Ludwig said.
“Yeah...” Elizabeta smiled at them. “Although, you guys do know that when you elope, you’re supposed to leave with the person you’re eloping with, right?”
“Yeah…” Ludwig blushed as she was pointing out the obvious, not that he was not aware of that.
“Yeah, but we’re the Teutonic Knights and we don’t do things the way you’re supposed to.” Feliciano grinned.
“Okay, give me a few minutes and don’t leave, I’m going to throw my stuff out the window, so you’d better catch it.” Lizzie poked her head back inside. She was gone for a few minutes, before a tulle filled tote bag came flying out her bedroom window at them, followed by a pair of heels that were tied up inside a pillowcase. The guys picked them up and walked around to the front of the house, where Elizabeta met them a few minutes later.
“Did anyone see you leave?” Ludwig anxiously asked.
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I told them I just wanted to sit outside and get some fresh air before I went to sleep.”
“Yeah?”
Elizabeta rolled her eyes. “Of course they didn’t see me, so let’s go before they do!”
The three of them hurried over to where the boys had left their bikes. “Here,” Ludwig said as he handed her Gilbert’s helmet. “Put that on.”
She shook her head, but complied. After they had made sure Feliciano was able to carry her things, they took off towards the pizza parlor. Gilbert and Roderich met them at the light and they traveled in convoy. Elizabeta had wanted to get in the car, but it was agreed that it was safer for her to remain put on the back of the motorcycle, and with Gilbert bringing up the rear in his father’s Chevy; they made their way to the pizza parlor. They pulled into the parking lot out back just in time to see Francis stroll up with Katyusha, Bella Flanders, and an oddly familiar looking blonde and brunette.
While Roderich was making sure Elizabeta was okay after her ride on Gilbert’s motorcycle, Francis walked over to them. “Someone say they needed some bridesmaids?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you, Francis,” Elizabeta said. She could not believe the trouble her friends were going through and she put her hand to her mouth, afraid she would burst into tears.
“Awe, don’t cry, Lizzie!” Katyusha said as she gave her best friend a hug.
“Yeah!” Bella said as she hugged them both. “Group hug!” she cried and the girls all giggled when the other blonde joined in.
“Uh… Feliks?” Lizzie said as her eyes went wide in recognition when she got a good look at the blonde. She giggled as he looked pretty good in drag.
“Like yeah?” He cracked his gum. “Who’d you think I was, Sandra Dee?” Feliks rolled his eyes.
“Nah! You’re cuter than she is, right girls?”
“Yeah!” they chorused.
“Hey, Bella, is that your cousin?” Elizabeta asked as she looked over at the shy brunette who was standing with Francis and the others.
“That’s Tori,” Feliks said. “He like kept saying it was a like bad idea to do this, but Francis like told him Gilbo would kick his ass if he like didn’t help, you know? I know he told us it was like part of the initiation to like get into the Teutonic Knights, but let’s face it, we aren’t like Knight material.” He looked over at Tori. “But I like don’t know what his problem is,” Feliks sighed. “He’s like got better legs than I do and he like didn’t even cut himself shaving.”
“Yeah, he looks good as a girl and so do you, Feliks.”
“Thanks. So like let’s get the party started,” he suggested.
“Yeah…” Elizabeta said as they walked over to the others. “Thanks for your help, Tori.”
“You’re welcome.” Oh crud she recognized me, if anyone else does, I’ll never live it down as long as I live…
“Hey, Lizzie, we found you another bridesmaid,” Gilbert said, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Yeah? Who?”
“Feli,” Gilbert chuckled. “We could put him in a dress too and then you’d have the right amount of girls to go with us guys.”
“But?”
“Well…” Gilbert began.
And Francis finished, “What Gilbo is trying to say, it was easy to get Feliks in a dress as there’s something wrong with that boy if you ask me.” He looked over at him. “No offense, Feliks.”
“None taken. I’m just helping a friend and going through my initiation into the Knights. It’s a win-win situation.” Feliks blew a big bubble and it popped all over his face. He peeled it off, stuck the wad in his mouth and blew another bubble.
“Tori here… needed a bit more persuasion and Feli is Feli, but no one wants Lovey going berserk over it,” Francis said.
“Yeah… What he said,” Gilbert added.
“Okay, I’ll ask him,” Elizabeta said.
“What? You can’t ask him that! Lovey’ll kill you!”
“Why not? Feli’s a good kid; he’ll do it for me.” She smiled, and turning on her heel, she went over to him.
“What’s Feli gonna do?” Katyusha asked.
“Dress up like a girl,” Francis replied.
They laughed.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“I kid you not,” Gilbert said. “If anyone can pull that off without a hitch, it’d be Lizzie.”
“I still don’t believe it,” Katyusha said as they watched Lizzie walk over to where Feliciano was standing with his brother, Lovino, and Ludwig.
“Hey, Feli, can I ask a favor of you?” Elizabeta said.
“Sure, Lizzie, what do you need?” Feliciano replied.
“Well, I need another bridesmaid and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind, you know, like Feliks and Tori…”
Feliciano frowned, “You want me to dress up?” He looked at Ludwig, who shrugged, and back at Elizabeta. “I don’t know…”
“Please?”
“Ummm…” Feliciano looked at his friends while he tried to decide what to do.
“No! My idiot brother is NOT, and I repeat, NOT going to put on a dress!” Lovino cried.
“But, Lovey! Elizabeta needs me to!” Feliciano said.
“I don’t care what she needs, the answer is NO!!” Lovino muttered something in Italian.
“Fine!” Feliciano huffed at his brother. Turning to Elizabeta, he smiled and said, “I’ll do it! Hey, if those chooches can do it, so can I, unless you want to wear it instead, Lovey?”
“Hell no!!” Lovino replied. “You know, Grandpa’s gonna kick your ass!”
“He is not!”
“Is so!!”
“Guys, can we settle this later?” Ludwig said. “I think we should get them married as quickly as possible.”
“Fine!!” Lovino spat. “And don’t you get any stupid ideas!!” he said to Antonio as he walked up to them, his cousin the priest trailing along behind him.
Antonio chuckled. “Never…”
“Toño, what is going on?” his cousin asked.
“These are my friends, Rafi. The girl with the light brown hair needs to get married to the boy with the glasses. You know Lovey.”
“Hi, Lovey.”
“Hi, Father Rafael.” Lovino was about to continue his argument with his brother, when he pushed past him. “Hey! Where you goin’?!”
“Father Rafael,” Feliciano nodded in greeting, “I’ll be right back,” he said as he disappeared inside the pizza parlor. The others followed him and Lovino was left to explain to their grandfather why the place was suddenly busy when it was time to close.
“Nonno, my idiot friends are getting married, cuz they had to, so they’re eloping, and we got a priest so it’ll be done all proper and good, and we need a couple of pizzas and some cokes, and they’re making Feli put on a dress and be a bridesmaid, but I told him you’ll kick his ass, and ummm… Nonno, what’s so funny?”
“You are, my boy,” his grandfather Salvatore replied. “Alright, you chooches, let’s get this wedding over and done with. I’m tired and I wanted to close a half hour ago.”
Feliciano chose that moment to return in one of his sisters’ dresses. “How do I look, Nonno?”
“Like an angel.” Salvatore pinched his grandson’s cheek. “Which one of you ladies is the bride?”
“I am, sir,” Elizabeta said as she stepped forward.
“What’s with this ‘sir’ business? Just call me Grandpa Sal, okay?” He beamed at her.
“Okay, sir… I mean ‘Grandpa Sal.’” Elizabeta giggled. “Is there someplace I can use to change into my dress?”
He nodded. “Lovino! Go take the girls upstairs so they can get ready and ask you mother if we can have the cake she made today.”
Lovino rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. While he was gone, the guys moved the tables around the pizzeria and pulled the chairs into something resembling a small chapel. By the time the girls came back, it was all set up. Lovino set the cake down on one of the tables and his sisters, Angelina and Margherita, set out plates and forks. Their husbands, Carmine and Joey, brought glasses and a bottle of ginger ale, to use as makeshift champagne, to toast the new couple with.
Salvatore ushered the wedding party into the backroom. “Who’s giving the bride away?”
Everyone looked at one another as that was the one detail they had not thought about.
“I guess I could,” Gilbert volunteered.
“But you’re my best man, Gilbert; you can’t give the bride away and wait with me for her to get there at the same time,” Roderich pointed out.
“Damn…”
“So now what?” Francis asked.
“I don’t know…” Gilbert shrugged. “Any of you guys have any ideas?”
“Nonno?” Feliciano asked.
“I’ll give her away,” Salvatore said. “I’ve always wanted a daughter to give away, and this is the closest I’ll get, since all I got was a son.” He sighed dramatically. “But I did luck out and get a beautiful daughter-in-law.” He winked. “Everyone ready?”
A chorus of “yeses and yeahs” were heard as everyone got into place. Roderich went out first and Gilbert escorted Katyusha. They walked slowly past the Vargas sisters and their husbands to stand near Father Rafael, splitting up so that the guys stood off to the one side, while Katyusha stood on the other. The others slowly followed suit, with Lovino escorting Bella, Antonio escorting Feliks, Francis escorting a nervous Tori, and Ludwig bring up the rear with Feliciano.
The Vargas boys’ mother, Concetta, had slipped, unnoticed, into the pizza parlor while everyone was setting up. She sat in the back behind her daughters while she waited for her father-in-law to come in with the bride. Suddenly the guys started singing a scat rendition of “The Wedding March.” Everyone stood up as the bride made her entrance. She looked very pretty in her pale pink tulle confection of a dress, which was the dress she was intending to wear to her senior prom. She also wore Concetta’s veil as her something “borrowed” and carried a bouquet of daisies tied together with a blue ribbon as her something “blue.”
Elizabeta sighed softly. As much as she appreciated everyone’s efforts, it still hurt that her parents were not here to see this. Sniffing back her tears, she walked down the short aisle to her fiancé. Just before she reached him, Salvatore paused and kissed her cheek.
“Buona fortuna,” he said softly in Italian, “Che Dio vi benedica e portare voi e la vostra felicità marito e prosperità.”
“Thanks...” Elizabeta was not sure what he had said, but she took some comfort in his fatherly presence.
“Don’t cry, Bambina, I’m sure if they could, your parents would be here.” Salvatore gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
Elizabeta nodded and he stepped back so that she could continue on her own. She took the two steps necessary to reach her fiancé’s side. Roderich took her hand and they waited for Father Rafael to begin.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the union of…” Father Rafael began. He looked over to the young couple and waited for them to say their names.
“Roderich Edelstein.”
“Elizabeta Héderváry.”
“To witness the union of Roderich Edelstein and Elizabeta Héderváry,” he repeated. “If anyone knows a just cause to prevent this, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Father Rafael waited. When no one said a word, he continued. “Do you, Roderich Edelstein, take this woman, Elizabeta Héderváry, to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forth as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” He slipped the ring on her finger.
“And do you, Elizabeta Héderváry, take this man, Roderich Edelstein, to be your lawful husband, to have and to hold, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forth as long as you both shall live?”
“I do…”
“And now by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
Roderich looked at Elizabeta and smiled shyly at her. Lifting her veil, he leaned in to kiss her. Everyone cheered and someone took their picture, the loud pop of the spent flashbulb, drawing their attention.
“Dah… dah… dah duum.. dah dah dah dum…” the Knights sang as they all started back down the aisle. Another flashbulb went off when Angelina’s husband, Carmine, took another picture. They ended up in the back by the cake the Vargas brothers’ mother had made. More pictures were taken, ending with one of the newlyweds cutting their cake and eating a slice.
Gilbert edged away from the impromptu party going on in the back of the pizzeria, where the tables had been pushed. As happy as he was for his cousin, it still hurt that Elizabeta was now forever out of his reach. He made his way to the front of the pizza parlor, hoping to slip out the front door for a little air and a quick smoke of one of Francis’ cigarettes. As he made his way there, he saw Lili looking in. Gilbert quickened his pace. Reaching the door, he unlocked it and let her in. “Lili, what are you doing out so late? Basch is going to kill you!” he hissed as he locked the door behind her.
She giggled. “I told him I was hungry and wanted a slice of pizza. When we passed by on the way home, I saw the lights on and people inside, so I made him stop here.” She smiled. “Thanks for letting me in. So what’s going on?”
“My cousin just got married.”
“Cool!”
“Yeah…” Gilbert replied. Before he could say anything else, the jukebox started playing the Big Bopper’s “Chantilly Lace” and Lili gave out a little squeal of delight. “You wanna dance?” Gilbert asked her.
She nodded and Gilbert took her hand. He was about to lead her over to where everyone was dancing, when Basch banged on the door. Gilbert sighed. “Should I let him in?”
Lili sighed as well. “Only if you want to.”
“I don’t, but I don’t want him flipping his lid cuz you’re in here with me and he’s out there.” He turned and headed towards the door. “Keep your pants on, Basch,” he muttered to himself as he reached over and unlocked the door.
“Lili! Let’s go!” Basch stepped inside, and grabbing his sister’s hand, he pulled her towards the door.
“But, I want to stay! Gilbert was going to dance with me.” Lili stomped her foot and held her ground. She had a huge crush on Gilbert and now that he was actually paying attention to her, there was no way she was going to let her brother spoil things for her.
Basch gave him a death glare, not that Gilbert cared. If Basch wanted to rumble just because he was dancing with his sister, then Gilbert would be very happy to oblige him, after their dance.
“Hey, Basch, I’m dancing with your sister whether you like it or not,” he said with a cocky grin as “In the Still of the Night” started playing. Leading Lili over to what passed for a dance floor, he slow danced with her. It also happened to be his cousin’s first dance as a married man with his new bride, so when Gilbert caught Roderich’s eye, he smirked at him.
“Gil, Basch is going to beat the crap out of you one of these days,” Roderich mouthed.
Gilbert’s smirk got wider. “So?” he mouthed back. “It’s not like I can’t take him.”
Roderich shook his head and held his wife close. He figured he had better things to worry about than his cousin. Holding his wife close, he said softly, “I love you, Mrs. Edelstein.”
Elizabeta giggled. “I love you too, Mr. Edelstein.”
Basch, heedless of whether or not he was making a scene, walked over to where Gilbert was dancing with his sister. “That’s enough! We’re going home, Lili!” He tried his best to get her away from what he considered a big menace to his little sister’s virtue.
“But I’m having fun, dancing with Gilbert.” She pouted at her brother and Gilbert thought she looked adorable.
Gilbert also thought her brother did too, the way his expression darkened at being told “no,” but he wisely kept that to himself. He figured there was no sense in pushing things and ruining the reception. Still, it was a welcome distraction from what was bothering him. However, a bigger distraction, one that would make this a party to remember, was starting to unfold. The Dub’s “Don’t ask me to be Lonely” had just started playing and much to everyone’s amusement, Feliciano had dragged Ludwig over to the makeshift dance floor. Gilbert had to admire his determination in getting his brother to dance. He stopped slow dancing with Lili, much to Basch’s relief, and stepped back with the others to give them room.
Ludwig was mortified beyond belief. His best friend, Feliciano, was hanging off his neck and trying to slow dance with him. He prayed his brother would not notice, but that seemed moot, as everyone cleared the dance floor for them. So he merely shifted his weight from one foot to the other as Feliciano sang along.
“Ask me for the world... It doesn't seem much… Ask me for the moon, dear… And I'll reach out and touch…” Feliciano sang. “Anything for you, for you, dear, only… But please don't ask me to be lonely…”
Their fellow Knights whistled and catcalled. Even the newlyweds joined in. Poor Ludwig wished a hole would suddenly open up in the floor so that he could jump in it and hide. Unfortunately, that was not the worst of it. Just when Ludwig thought he would be able to live it down, Feliciano’s brother-in-law took a picture of them. He froze, and taking a deep breath, Ludwig gently untangled his best friend’s arms from around his neck. He looked at him apologetically and said softly, “That’s it, Feli, I’m done dancing.”
“Awe… but everyone’s enjoying it, Louie.”
“No, everyone’s enjoying making fun of us.”
“So?” Feliciano countered, “We’re making a memory for Roddy and Lizzie, so that when they look back, they won’t think they had this dumb wedding in a pizzeria cuz they had to get married. All they’ll remember was how much fun it was and how crazy and say, ‘remember when Feli slow danced with Louie? Wasn’t that the coolest?’” Feliciano flashed one of his trademark sunny smiles at his friend.
“Yeah?” Ludwig softened a bit.
Feliciano nodded. “Besides, Louie, you aren’t the one dressed up in your sister’s clothes.” He smiled.
Ludwig laughed. “Yeah, I suppose it could be worse, hunh?”
“Yeah…” Feliciano’s smile broadened into a grin. “Basch could have shot us all cuz your big brother can’t stop slow dancing with his baby sister.”
Ludwig laughed as they left the dance floor to have a slice of pizza with their friends. Unbeknownst to the wedding party, Elizabeta’s parents had discovered she was missing and had made a few frantic phone calls, looking for her. After reaching Roderich’s family and explaining the situation, Shelley discovered their son was also missing. Hanging up, Charles called his brother-in-law, hoping he might know where Roderich was since he and Gilbert always hung out together.
“Wolfie?”
“Ja?”
“Have you seen Roddy?”
“He’s with my boys. They’re supposed to be at Sal’s Pizzeria.”
“Oh… Do you know if Elizabeta’s with them? Her parents are looking for her too.”
“Ja, I believe she’s with them. Is there a problem, Carl?”
“I don’t think so…”
“Carl, come and get me and we’ll go together. I’d meet you there, but Gilbert has my car.”
“Okay, Wolfie. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Charles hung up the phone. Picking it up again, he dialed Elizabeta’s house. “Hello, Frank?”
“Speaking…”
“It’s Charles; I just got off the phone with my brother-in-law. He says the kids are at Sal’s pizzeria.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Ummm… Frank, can you meet us there? I need to pick up my brother-in-law on the way. I get the feeling we should find them together.”
“Sure… so I’ll meet you in the parking lot in ten minutes or so?”
3
Upon reaching his home, Roderich opened the front gate and stepped inside, Gilbert a half step behind him. The cousins walked up the path leading to the house and when they reached the stoop, Roderich paused.
“Come on, Specs, you can do it,” Gilbert encouraged.
Nodding, Roderich climbed the steps and was on the porch in what felt like a heartbeat. Opening the front door, the cousins stepped inside. “Mom, Dad, Bubbe, I’m home!” Roderich called out. “Gil’s here too!”
“We’re in here, Sweetie!” Roderich’s mother trilled.
“We’re in here, Sweetie,” Gilbert mouthed, before snorting in amusement. “Just promise me, you won’t let Lizzie act like that. As much as I love Aunt Shelley…” he chuckled.
“I know…” Roderich agreed.
They came into the front parlor and greeted everyone, before making themselves at home.
“Hey, Bubbe,” Gilbert said as he sat next to his grandmother.
“Gilbert,” she said tersely.
“Mom, Dad, Bubbe, I’ve…” Roderich started to say as three expectant faces looked up at him. “I-I… Ummm…”
Wilhelmine Edelstein grew tired of her grandson’s nonsense. “What is it, boychick?”
“I’m getting married,” Roderich said.
“What is this nonsense?” Wilhelmine demanded.
Charles laughed. “Very funny, son,” he said. Looking at her, he added, “It’s nothing, Mother, just Roddy’s idea of a joke.”
Wilhelmine made a little sound of disgust. “It’s in very poor taste.”
“Bubbe, I love her and we… ummm… and ummm…” Roderich trailed off helplessly.
“Tell them, Specs,” Gilbert prompted. “It ain’t gonna get any easier if you wait.”
“Gilbert, what have you put my grandson up to?”
“Nothing, Bubbe, he did this all on his own. Didn’t you, Specs?”
Roderich sighed. “I’m sorry, I got Lizzie in trouble,” he said softly.
“Excuse me?!” Charles said as he looked at his son like he could not believe what he heard. “Gilbert, is this your idea of a joke?”
“Uncle Charlie, I swear on Muti’s memory, that I had nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with it.” He looked at his cousin. “And it’s no joke, seriously…” He frowned at his uncle. “First Vati and now you… why does everything think I did it?” Gilbert groused.
“Because you’re a juvenile delinquent,” Wilhelmine hissed.
“Hey! I’m a good boy, Bubbe! I don’t skip school, I get good grades, I work hard, I look after my little brother… and my idiot cousin,” he finished dryly. “But everyone thinks I’m this horrible person!”
“Gil, as much as I appreciate you taking the heat off me, I don’t think now is the time for it,” Roderich said.
“Fine!” Gilbert huffed as he rolled his eyes and sat back on the sofa. He folded his arms across his chest and smirked at his grandmother.
“Anyway… whatever faults you think Gil has, he did tell me I needed to be a man and take responsibility.” Roderich squared his shoulders and drew himself up to his full height. “And that means getting married a lot sooner than anyone had any idea I would be.”
“I see…” Charles said. He was clearly not happy with his son.
Roderich felt terrible about disappointing him, but he pressed on, “I’ve already spoken to her father and he wasn’t exactly thrilled about it either.”
“No man would be hearing that news, son.”
“Yeah… But he didn’t say we couldn’t get married, so I want to do the right thing and get married.”
“But she’s not Jewish, Roddy,” Shelley pointed out.
“So? You didn’t seem to have a problem with that when we were going steady,” Roderich replied, his voice taking on a petulant whine.
“We never expected it last beyond graduation, sweetie,” his mother said. “Besides, you’re going to go to Julliard in the fall and you’ll meet other girls, nice girls…”
“Elizabeta is a nice girl,” Roderich insisted.
“She’s a nafka!” Wilhelmine spat. “Nice girls don’t entice good boys into doing that before marriage!”
“Is that how you saw Muti…?” Gilbert said softly.
“Yes! She ruined herself with that-that! Argh!!” Eyes narrowed in anger, she wagged her finger at Gilbert, before turning her attention to Roderich, “You will have nothing more to do with that girl, do you hear me, Roderich?!”
“Yes, Bubbe…” he miserably replied.
“That’s bullshit!” Gilbert glared at his grandmother.
“Gilbert Beilschmidt! We do not use that kind of language!” Charles got up and walked over to them.
“Sorry, Uncle Charlie, but that was a crock of manure. You know what? I’m tired of kissing everyone’s ass, especially yours, Bubbe!” Gilbert got up and pushed past his uncle.
“Gilbert!”
Ignoring him, he said, “I’m outta here. See you later, Specs.” Gilbert headed towards the front door.
“Wait, Gil!” Roderich called out as he hurried after him.
Gilbert opened the door and stepped outside, slamming it shut behind him. He hurried down the steps and was striding down the front walk by the time Roderich made it outside.
“Gil! Wait!”
Gilbert heaved a long suffering sigh and waited. Roderich jogged over to him. “I’m sorry, Gil. They didn’t mean it.”
“Didn’t mean it?! What are you crazy?! They called Lizzie a whore, Specs! And there’s no way they’re going to let you get married!”
“They’ll come around, Gil.”
“When? After Lizzie has the baby? Her parents will send her away to one of those you know, homes for unwed mothers and when she comes back, Specs, there ain’t gonna be a baby… Girls that go there don’t bring the babies home. Jesus, Specs, even an idiot like Feli knows that! And if you think Mr. H is gonna let you get near her after that…” he snorted. “You’ve got another thing coming!”
“Then what am I going to do, Gil?”
Gilbert heaved a long suffering sigh. “Come to the bowling alley with me.”
“What?! Now who’s the crazy one, Gil?!”
Gilbert looked at him as a grin slowly spread across his face that had turned into a smirk somewhere along the way. “Time’s come to start thinkin’ crazy, Specs! We’re gonna get you to the church on time if it kills me…” He slung his arm around his cousin’s shoulders as they started walking in the direction of the bowling alley. “Or in your case, temple.” He smirked.
“That’s what I’m afraid of…” Roderich said miserably.
“Come on, Specs, cheer up. By this time tomorrow, if all goes well, you and Lizzie’ll be married. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yeah… but…”
“But nothing. Just leave the details to me.”
“Like I have a choice?”
“No… Well, you did, but kinda gave that up when you and Lizzie va-va-vavoomed.” Gilbert waggled his eyebrows.
Roderich blushed. “Yeah… well, umm…”
“So was it, you know, everything they say it is?”
Roderich looked at him like he had three heads. “You should know, Gil, you’ve done it before.”
“Actually I haven’t…” Gilbert reluctantly admitted.
“Get out of here! Gilbert Beilschmidt, resident bad-boy, never had sex before?!”
“Sssh!! Keep it down, Specs! I have a reputation to uphold, but yeah. You know why I only had one date with Lizzie?”
Roderich frowned as he shook his head in disbelief. “Okay, why?”
“Vati came home early and found us kissing. Kissing, that’s all we were doing, Specs, and both of us still had our clothes on too.” Gilbert shook his head. “If you thought Vati was pissed before, you shudda seen him then. Shit! I thought he was going to kill me!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah… He made us get in the car and he drove us over to her house and I walked her up to the door and…” Gilbert shrugged. “I got grounded for two weeks too, but I did the crime, so I had to serve my time.”
“Oh…So that’s why she said she had a headache and you nicely brought her home. No one believed it, but when you didn’t brag about you know…”
Gilbert nodded. “She’s a classy lady, Specs, and that’s why you gotta marry her.”
“Yeah… but how? You saw my family.”
“Just elope. Hey, if it was good enough for my parents, it should be good enough for you and Lizzie, right?”
“Yeah… but when and how?”
“Leave that to your friends, Specs.”
“Why do I find that less than reassuring?”
Gilbert laughed as they entered the bowling alley. The Willows were belting out “The Church Bells May Ring” on the jukebox amid the soft rumble of conversation and the loud crack and clatter of several bowling balls striking various pins, knocking them down. After getting a pair of bowling shoes, they went in search of their friends. Even though the bowling alley was crowded because it Saturday, it did not take long to find them.
“Hey, guys!”
“Gilbo!” Francis called out in greeting as they sat down. He was keeping score and took a few minutes to add up Ludwig’s score. “Nice spare, Louie. You’re in the lead now.”
“Thanks…” Ludwig sat down next to his brother. “I thought you two were never going to get here.”
“Yeah, well, we had something we needed to do first.”
Antonio sauntered over with a couple of bottles of coke. He gave two of them to the Vargas brothers, keeping the third one for himself. “So what did Lizzie’s father say, when you asked for her hand?”
“Nothing much…” Roderich replied.
“Oh, so are you two getting married or what?”
“Yeah…”
“They’re gonna elope,” Gilbert said as he reached for Antonio’s coke. Taking it from him, he drank some, before handing it back. Ignoring the startled buzz from their friends, he watched as Lovino got up and bowled a strike. “Nice, Lovey!” he said when Lovino sat down again.
“Thanks… Your turn, Chooch,” he said to his brother. Taking the soda bottles from him, he drank his own as Feliciano got up to bowl. “What’d I miss?”
“Specs is eloping with Lizzie,” Gilbert told him.
“No shit! When?” He looked over at his brother in time to see him bowl a gutter ball. “Feli you dumb chooch! You’re not supposed to throw gutter balls!!”
“Sorry, Lovey!”
“And don’t call me that!”
“Sorry, Lovino!” Feliciano said as a second gutter ball followed the first.
Gilbert smirked. “Anyway, they’re running off tonight, ain’t you, Specs?”
“What?!” Roderich’s look of surprise matched the one on his friends’ faces.
“Look, the only way to pull this off is to do it tonight,” Gilbert said.
“Oh-kay…” Roderich began, “So we elope tonight, but you do realize there’s more than one little problem with your plan, Gil.”
“Mere details, Specs.” Gilbert got up to bowl. While he bowled a spare, the others peppered Roderich with questions; he had no real answers for. Gilbert sauntered back and sat. “Figure it out yet?”
“No…”
“Just let us Knights handle your problem, you just think about getting married, Specs.”
“But…”
“But nothing. So anyone figure out what to do yet?” Gilbert looked at his friends.
“Ummm,” Feliciano said. “Louie and I can go get her.”
“Okay,” Gilbert grinned, “There’s part of your problem taken care of, Specs. Next?”
“Wait, wait, wait! How are you going to do that? It’s nine-thirty, her parents aren’t going to let her go out,” Roderich said.
Gilbert squeezed Feliciano’s cheeks together with the fingers of one hand. “How can you resist this face?”
Roderich heaved a long suffering sigh as he rubbed tiredly at his forehead.
Francis spoke up, “Okay, we’ve got the girl, now correct me if I’m wrong, but where are you getting married?”
“My cousin’s a priest,” Antonio said. “Maybe we can go to his church…?”
“Yeah…” Lovey chuckled. “He let us drink some of the sacramental wine that afternoon we came over and painted his office in the rectory.”
“Yeah…” Antonio smiled. “My old man kicked my ass too for getting drunk.”
“When Lovey came home drunk and puked out front, Grandpa smacked his.”
“Shut up, Feli!” Lovino turned beet red.
“But maybe a church wedding isn’t the best in this instance…” Antonio said. “But we’ll still go get him.”
“Okay, so now we’ve got a girl and a priest, we need a ring, Specs. You can’t get married without one.”
Francis stopped adding up the scores just long enough to twist a pinky ring off his finger. “Here, you can borrow this, Roddy, until you can get her a proper ring.” He handed it to him.
“Thanks, Francis.”
“No problem.” He smiled. “You’ll need a best man too.”
“I have one,” Roderich looked over at Gilbert.
“Yeah, me.” Gilbert grinned.
“She’ll want some bridesmaids,” Ludwig said quietly as everyone turned to stare at him. “What? I remember Muti telling Oma, she wished she had a big wedding with lots of bridesmaids.”
Gilbert looked surprised to hear that. “She did?”
Ludwig nodded. “Oma told her not to worry about it. She said a big wedding was nothing but showing off for the guests and that what she had was even better. You know, Gil; me, you, Vati…”
Gilbert nodded. “So… Now we need some bridesmaids, but who?” He furrowed his brow as he mulled it over.
“Leave that to me,” Francis said cryptically. “I’ll get her some bridesmaids.”
“Okay, so we’ll meet where and when?”
“Grandpa’s pizzeria in an hour,” Lovino said. “And you chooches had better be there on time too!”
“Although, I’m sure Grandpa won’t mind if you get married after it closes,” Feliciano added.
“An hour it is. Looks like you’re getting married after all, Specs.”
“Yeah… Thanks, guys.”
They finished their game. After dropping off their bowling shoes and getting their own back, they dispersed to go do what they had to do to make the wedding a reality. Roderich and Gilbert were walking back to Gilbert’s house, when it hit Roderich. “Gil?”
“Yeah?”
“How come no one questioned why I was getting married in such a hurry?”
“Cuz even though Lovey likes to call us a bunch of idiots, we’re not stupid, Specs.”
“You told them!”
“No, but think about it.” Gilbert smirked. “Seriously, school’s almost out and lots of people get married the week after graduation, but they probably figured somebody’s parent must have put the kybosh on that. And well, we all like you and Lizzie and want to see you happy. That’s what friends do, Specs.” Even though I’d give anything to be marrying her, I know deep down she really loves you, not me… And if marrying you makes her happy, then how I can I make her unhappy when I love her so…?
Roderich grinned. “You’re right.”
They headed up the driveway and were met by Gilbert’s father, who was sitting on the porch, drinking a beer. “Boys.” Wolfgang nodded in greeting.
“Hey, Vati! Ummm… Vati?”
“Ja?”
“Can Specs stay over?”
Wolfgang raised an eyebrow. He said nothing for a few minutes as he studied his son and nephew. He had the feeling something was up and that it wasn’t good. He drank his beer. “Do I need to call Carl?”
“No, Uncle Wolfie.”
Gilbert sighed. “Uncle Charlie was about as happy as you were when he heard the news, Vati.”
“I see.” Wolfgang drank another mouthful of beer.
“So, Vati, can I borrow your car?”
“What’s wrong with your bike?”
“Lutz has it.”
“You know I don’t like him riding it, especially when it’s dark out.”
“I know, Vati, but this was important and he needed to borrow it.”
“Yeah…” Roderich said.
“Should I ask what you’re up to?”
“Vati, you can ask, but, ummm… can you ask me later?”
“Yeah, the less you know, Uncle Wolfie, the better,” Roderich added.
Wolfgang’s eyebrow climbed even higher up his forehead.
“Vati, I promise what we’re doing isn’t illegal, and the worst thing that’ll happen is the old lady’ll be extra pissed.”
“Gilbert…”
“Sorry, Vati, Bubbe Edelstein will be annoyed.”
Wolfgang stared at his son for several long tense minutes, before he set his beer bottle down and leaning over towards the left; he fished his wallet out of his back pocket. Opening it, he took out a five dollar bill. “In case you need it, boys.”
“Thanks!”
“And, Gilbert, my keys are inside,” Wolfgang drank his beer. “Oh, if I find out you went dragging; you will be spending every weekend working at the gas station and every day during the summer, understood?”
“Understood, Vati, but like I said, we’re not doing anything illegal.” Gilbert walked up the two steps to his porch and disappeared inside the house for a few minutes to get the keys.
“I did the same thing when I was your age,” Wolfgang said.
“Yeah?”
Wolfgang nodded. “Sophie and I went to school that Friday and instead of going home afterwards, we went to the town hall and got married.”
“I bet Bubbe wasn’t happy, hunh?”
“No and neither were my parents, although things were a bit better once Gilbert was born.”
Roderich smiled. “That’s good to hear.”
“You two going to stay here tonight?”
“I guess so, although, Gil seems to feel I don’t have to worry about it.”
“Worry about what?” Gilbert asked as he exited his house and came over to them.
“Where Lizzie and I are spending the night.”
“Oh, well, uhh… we’ll worry about that later. I don’t know when we’ll be home, Vati, but Lutz is with us.”
Wolfgang nodded.
“And Uncle Wolfie,” Roderich began.
“Ja?”
“We’re going to Sal’s Pizzeria, that if anyone asks, but we’d prefer it if you didn’t tell anyone, Vati, until a bit later,” Gilbert finished.
“Okay, but if Roderich’s parents call, I’m not going to lie to them, Gilbert.”
“Oh, well, hopefully they won’t call. Come on, Specs! See you later, Vati!”
Wolfgang nodded as his son and nephew hurried over to his car. He drank the rest of his beer as they pulled out of the driveway, “Come and Go With Me” playing on the radio as they drove off. Wolfgang looked up at the stars, his expression sad and wistful. “Remember how I used to worry about Gilbert, Sophie,” he said softly, “It seems I never had to.” Wolfgang paused as he watched the night sky. “And who knew Roderich would be the one to follow in our footsteps?” He shook his head as a fond smile briefly tugged at lips. “I hope they’ll be as happy as we were, despite everything life threw at us.” He got up and went inside.
On the other side of town, Ludwig and Feliciano stood under Elizabeta’s window, trying to get her to come down and leave with them. “Please. Lizzie! It’s important you come with us.”
“It’s almost ten o’clock, Louie; my parents aren’t going to let me leave.”
“But we’re the Teutonic Knights and we’re here to rescue a damsel in distress, cuz that’s what knights do, right, Louie?” Feliciano said.
“Yeah… So are you coming?”
“How?”
“Can’t you climb out the window?” Feliciano suggested.
“No, I can’t. What if I fall?” I could lose the baby and this would all be moot…
“Then just grab something pretty to wear and walk out the front door,” Ludwig suggested.
Feliciano nodded. “Yeah! And we got Gilbo’s bike so we can make a quick getaway!”
Elizabeta giggled. “You guys are crazy! But I guess you guys wouldn’t be Teutonic Knights if you weren’t.”
“Yeah, but you have to be too if you’re going to elope, right?” Ludwig said.
“Yeah...” Elizabeta smiled at them. “Although, you guys do know that when you elope, you’re supposed to leave with the person you’re eloping with, right?”
“Yeah…” Ludwig blushed as she was pointing out the obvious, not that he was not aware of that.
“Yeah, but we’re the Teutonic Knights and we don’t do things the way you’re supposed to.” Feliciano grinned.
“Okay, give me a few minutes and don’t leave, I’m going to throw my stuff out the window, so you’d better catch it.” Lizzie poked her head back inside. She was gone for a few minutes, before a tulle filled tote bag came flying out her bedroom window at them, followed by a pair of heels that were tied up inside a pillowcase. The guys picked them up and walked around to the front of the house, where Elizabeta met them a few minutes later.
“Did anyone see you leave?” Ludwig anxiously asked.
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I told them I just wanted to sit outside and get some fresh air before I went to sleep.”
“Yeah?”
Elizabeta rolled her eyes. “Of course they didn’t see me, so let’s go before they do!”
The three of them hurried over to where the boys had left their bikes. “Here,” Ludwig said as he handed her Gilbert’s helmet. “Put that on.”
She shook her head, but complied. After they had made sure Feliciano was able to carry her things, they took off towards the pizza parlor. Gilbert and Roderich met them at the light and they traveled in convoy. Elizabeta had wanted to get in the car, but it was agreed that it was safer for her to remain put on the back of the motorcycle, and with Gilbert bringing up the rear in his father’s Chevy; they made their way to the pizza parlor. They pulled into the parking lot out back just in time to see Francis stroll up with Katyusha, Bella Flanders, and an oddly familiar looking blonde and brunette.
While Roderich was making sure Elizabeta was okay after her ride on Gilbert’s motorcycle, Francis walked over to them. “Someone say they needed some bridesmaids?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you, Francis,” Elizabeta said. She could not believe the trouble her friends were going through and she put her hand to her mouth, afraid she would burst into tears.
“Awe, don’t cry, Lizzie!” Katyusha said as she gave her best friend a hug.
“Yeah!” Bella said as she hugged them both. “Group hug!” she cried and the girls all giggled when the other blonde joined in.
“Uh… Feliks?” Lizzie said as her eyes went wide in recognition when she got a good look at the blonde. She giggled as he looked pretty good in drag.
“Like yeah?” He cracked his gum. “Who’d you think I was, Sandra Dee?” Feliks rolled his eyes.
“Nah! You’re cuter than she is, right girls?”
“Yeah!” they chorused.
“Hey, Bella, is that your cousin?” Elizabeta asked as she looked over at the shy brunette who was standing with Francis and the others.
“That’s Tori,” Feliks said. “He like kept saying it was a like bad idea to do this, but Francis like told him Gilbo would kick his ass if he like didn’t help, you know? I know he told us it was like part of the initiation to like get into the Teutonic Knights, but let’s face it, we aren’t like Knight material.” He looked over at Tori. “But I like don’t know what his problem is,” Feliks sighed. “He’s like got better legs than I do and he like didn’t even cut himself shaving.”
“Yeah, he looks good as a girl and so do you, Feliks.”
“Thanks. So like let’s get the party started,” he suggested.
“Yeah…” Elizabeta said as they walked over to the others. “Thanks for your help, Tori.”
“You’re welcome.” Oh crud she recognized me, if anyone else does, I’ll never live it down as long as I live…
“Hey, Lizzie, we found you another bridesmaid,” Gilbert said, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Yeah? Who?”
“Feli,” Gilbert chuckled. “We could put him in a dress too and then you’d have the right amount of girls to go with us guys.”
“But?”
“Well…” Gilbert began.
And Francis finished, “What Gilbo is trying to say, it was easy to get Feliks in a dress as there’s something wrong with that boy if you ask me.” He looked over at him. “No offense, Feliks.”
“None taken. I’m just helping a friend and going through my initiation into the Knights. It’s a win-win situation.” Feliks blew a big bubble and it popped all over his face. He peeled it off, stuck the wad in his mouth and blew another bubble.
“Tori here… needed a bit more persuasion and Feli is Feli, but no one wants Lovey going berserk over it,” Francis said.
“Yeah… What he said,” Gilbert added.
“Okay, I’ll ask him,” Elizabeta said.
“What? You can’t ask him that! Lovey’ll kill you!”
“Why not? Feli’s a good kid; he’ll do it for me.” She smiled, and turning on her heel, she went over to him.
“What’s Feli gonna do?” Katyusha asked.
“Dress up like a girl,” Francis replied.
They laughed.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“I kid you not,” Gilbert said. “If anyone can pull that off without a hitch, it’d be Lizzie.”
“I still don’t believe it,” Katyusha said as they watched Lizzie walk over to where Feliciano was standing with his brother, Lovino, and Ludwig.
“Hey, Feli, can I ask a favor of you?” Elizabeta said.
“Sure, Lizzie, what do you need?” Feliciano replied.
“Well, I need another bridesmaid and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind, you know, like Feliks and Tori…”
Feliciano frowned, “You want me to dress up?” He looked at Ludwig, who shrugged, and back at Elizabeta. “I don’t know…”
“Please?”
“Ummm…” Feliciano looked at his friends while he tried to decide what to do.
“No! My idiot brother is NOT, and I repeat, NOT going to put on a dress!” Lovino cried.
“But, Lovey! Elizabeta needs me to!” Feliciano said.
“I don’t care what she needs, the answer is NO!!” Lovino muttered something in Italian.
“Fine!” Feliciano huffed at his brother. Turning to Elizabeta, he smiled and said, “I’ll do it! Hey, if those chooches can do it, so can I, unless you want to wear it instead, Lovey?”
“Hell no!!” Lovino replied. “You know, Grandpa’s gonna kick your ass!”
“He is not!”
“Is so!!”
“Guys, can we settle this later?” Ludwig said. “I think we should get them married as quickly as possible.”
“Fine!!” Lovino spat. “And don’t you get any stupid ideas!!” he said to Antonio as he walked up to them, his cousin the priest trailing along behind him.
Antonio chuckled. “Never…”
“Toño, what is going on?” his cousin asked.
“These are my friends, Rafi. The girl with the light brown hair needs to get married to the boy with the glasses. You know Lovey.”
“Hi, Lovey.”
“Hi, Father Rafael.” Lovino was about to continue his argument with his brother, when he pushed past him. “Hey! Where you goin’?!”
“Father Rafael,” Feliciano nodded in greeting, “I’ll be right back,” he said as he disappeared inside the pizza parlor. The others followed him and Lovino was left to explain to their grandfather why the place was suddenly busy when it was time to close.
“Nonno, my idiot friends are getting married, cuz they had to, so they’re eloping, and we got a priest so it’ll be done all proper and good, and we need a couple of pizzas and some cokes, and they’re making Feli put on a dress and be a bridesmaid, but I told him you’ll kick his ass, and ummm… Nonno, what’s so funny?”
“You are, my boy,” his grandfather Salvatore replied. “Alright, you chooches, let’s get this wedding over and done with. I’m tired and I wanted to close a half hour ago.”
Feliciano chose that moment to return in one of his sisters’ dresses. “How do I look, Nonno?”
“Like an angel.” Salvatore pinched his grandson’s cheek. “Which one of you ladies is the bride?”
“I am, sir,” Elizabeta said as she stepped forward.
“What’s with this ‘sir’ business? Just call me Grandpa Sal, okay?” He beamed at her.
“Okay, sir… I mean ‘Grandpa Sal.’” Elizabeta giggled. “Is there someplace I can use to change into my dress?”
He nodded. “Lovino! Go take the girls upstairs so they can get ready and ask you mother if we can have the cake she made today.”
Lovino rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. While he was gone, the guys moved the tables around the pizzeria and pulled the chairs into something resembling a small chapel. By the time the girls came back, it was all set up. Lovino set the cake down on one of the tables and his sisters, Angelina and Margherita, set out plates and forks. Their husbands, Carmine and Joey, brought glasses and a bottle of ginger ale, to use as makeshift champagne, to toast the new couple with.
Salvatore ushered the wedding party into the backroom. “Who’s giving the bride away?”
Everyone looked at one another as that was the one detail they had not thought about.
“I guess I could,” Gilbert volunteered.
“But you’re my best man, Gilbert; you can’t give the bride away and wait with me for her to get there at the same time,” Roderich pointed out.
“Damn…”
“So now what?” Francis asked.
“I don’t know…” Gilbert shrugged. “Any of you guys have any ideas?”
“Nonno?” Feliciano asked.
“I’ll give her away,” Salvatore said. “I’ve always wanted a daughter to give away, and this is the closest I’ll get, since all I got was a son.” He sighed dramatically. “But I did luck out and get a beautiful daughter-in-law.” He winked. “Everyone ready?”
A chorus of “yeses and yeahs” were heard as everyone got into place. Roderich went out first and Gilbert escorted Katyusha. They walked slowly past the Vargas sisters and their husbands to stand near Father Rafael, splitting up so that the guys stood off to the one side, while Katyusha stood on the other. The others slowly followed suit, with Lovino escorting Bella, Antonio escorting Feliks, Francis escorting a nervous Tori, and Ludwig bring up the rear with Feliciano.
The Vargas boys’ mother, Concetta, had slipped, unnoticed, into the pizza parlor while everyone was setting up. She sat in the back behind her daughters while she waited for her father-in-law to come in with the bride. Suddenly the guys started singing a scat rendition of “The Wedding March.” Everyone stood up as the bride made her entrance. She looked very pretty in her pale pink tulle confection of a dress, which was the dress she was intending to wear to her senior prom. She also wore Concetta’s veil as her something “borrowed” and carried a bouquet of daisies tied together with a blue ribbon as her something “blue.”
Elizabeta sighed softly. As much as she appreciated everyone’s efforts, it still hurt that her parents were not here to see this. Sniffing back her tears, she walked down the short aisle to her fiancé. Just before she reached him, Salvatore paused and kissed her cheek.
“Buona fortuna,” he said softly in Italian, “Che Dio vi benedica e portare voi e la vostra felicità marito e prosperità.”
“Thanks...” Elizabeta was not sure what he had said, but she took some comfort in his fatherly presence.
“Don’t cry, Bambina, I’m sure if they could, your parents would be here.” Salvatore gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
Elizabeta nodded and he stepped back so that she could continue on her own. She took the two steps necessary to reach her fiancé’s side. Roderich took her hand and they waited for Father Rafael to begin.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the union of…” Father Rafael began. He looked over to the young couple and waited for them to say their names.
“Roderich Edelstein.”
“Elizabeta Héderváry.”
“To witness the union of Roderich Edelstein and Elizabeta Héderváry,” he repeated. “If anyone knows a just cause to prevent this, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Father Rafael waited. When no one said a word, he continued. “Do you, Roderich Edelstein, take this woman, Elizabeta Héderváry, to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forth as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” He slipped the ring on her finger.
“And do you, Elizabeta Héderváry, take this man, Roderich Edelstein, to be your lawful husband, to have and to hold, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forth as long as you both shall live?”
“I do…”
“And now by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
Roderich looked at Elizabeta and smiled shyly at her. Lifting her veil, he leaned in to kiss her. Everyone cheered and someone took their picture, the loud pop of the spent flashbulb, drawing their attention.
“Dah… dah… dah duum.. dah dah dah dum…” the Knights sang as they all started back down the aisle. Another flashbulb went off when Angelina’s husband, Carmine, took another picture. They ended up in the back by the cake the Vargas brothers’ mother had made. More pictures were taken, ending with one of the newlyweds cutting their cake and eating a slice.
Gilbert edged away from the impromptu party going on in the back of the pizzeria, where the tables had been pushed. As happy as he was for his cousin, it still hurt that Elizabeta was now forever out of his reach. He made his way to the front of the pizza parlor, hoping to slip out the front door for a little air and a quick smoke of one of Francis’ cigarettes. As he made his way there, he saw Lili looking in. Gilbert quickened his pace. Reaching the door, he unlocked it and let her in. “Lili, what are you doing out so late? Basch is going to kill you!” he hissed as he locked the door behind her.
She giggled. “I told him I was hungry and wanted a slice of pizza. When we passed by on the way home, I saw the lights on and people inside, so I made him stop here.” She smiled. “Thanks for letting me in. So what’s going on?”
“My cousin just got married.”
“Cool!”
“Yeah…” Gilbert replied. Before he could say anything else, the jukebox started playing the Big Bopper’s “Chantilly Lace” and Lili gave out a little squeal of delight. “You wanna dance?” Gilbert asked her.
She nodded and Gilbert took her hand. He was about to lead her over to where everyone was dancing, when Basch banged on the door. Gilbert sighed. “Should I let him in?”
Lili sighed as well. “Only if you want to.”
“I don’t, but I don’t want him flipping his lid cuz you’re in here with me and he’s out there.” He turned and headed towards the door. “Keep your pants on, Basch,” he muttered to himself as he reached over and unlocked the door.
“Lili! Let’s go!” Basch stepped inside, and grabbing his sister’s hand, he pulled her towards the door.
“But, I want to stay! Gilbert was going to dance with me.” Lili stomped her foot and held her ground. She had a huge crush on Gilbert and now that he was actually paying attention to her, there was no way she was going to let her brother spoil things for her.
Basch gave him a death glare, not that Gilbert cared. If Basch wanted to rumble just because he was dancing with his sister, then Gilbert would be very happy to oblige him, after their dance.
“Hey, Basch, I’m dancing with your sister whether you like it or not,” he said with a cocky grin as “In the Still of the Night” started playing. Leading Lili over to what passed for a dance floor, he slow danced with her. It also happened to be his cousin’s first dance as a married man with his new bride, so when Gilbert caught Roderich’s eye, he smirked at him.
“Gil, Basch is going to beat the crap out of you one of these days,” Roderich mouthed.
Gilbert’s smirk got wider. “So?” he mouthed back. “It’s not like I can’t take him.”
Roderich shook his head and held his wife close. He figured he had better things to worry about than his cousin. Holding his wife close, he said softly, “I love you, Mrs. Edelstein.”
Elizabeta giggled. “I love you too, Mr. Edelstein.”
Basch, heedless of whether or not he was making a scene, walked over to where Gilbert was dancing with his sister. “That’s enough! We’re going home, Lili!” He tried his best to get her away from what he considered a big menace to his little sister’s virtue.
“But I’m having fun, dancing with Gilbert.” She pouted at her brother and Gilbert thought she looked adorable.
Gilbert also thought her brother did too, the way his expression darkened at being told “no,” but he wisely kept that to himself. He figured there was no sense in pushing things and ruining the reception. Still, it was a welcome distraction from what was bothering him. However, a bigger distraction, one that would make this a party to remember, was starting to unfold. The Dub’s “Don’t ask me to be Lonely” had just started playing and much to everyone’s amusement, Feliciano had dragged Ludwig over to the makeshift dance floor. Gilbert had to admire his determination in getting his brother to dance. He stopped slow dancing with Lili, much to Basch’s relief, and stepped back with the others to give them room.
Ludwig was mortified beyond belief. His best friend, Feliciano, was hanging off his neck and trying to slow dance with him. He prayed his brother would not notice, but that seemed moot, as everyone cleared the dance floor for them. So he merely shifted his weight from one foot to the other as Feliciano sang along.
“Ask me for the world... It doesn't seem much… Ask me for the moon, dear… And I'll reach out and touch…” Feliciano sang. “Anything for you, for you, dear, only… But please don't ask me to be lonely…”
Their fellow Knights whistled and catcalled. Even the newlyweds joined in. Poor Ludwig wished a hole would suddenly open up in the floor so that he could jump in it and hide. Unfortunately, that was not the worst of it. Just when Ludwig thought he would be able to live it down, Feliciano’s brother-in-law took a picture of them. He froze, and taking a deep breath, Ludwig gently untangled his best friend’s arms from around his neck. He looked at him apologetically and said softly, “That’s it, Feli, I’m done dancing.”
“Awe… but everyone’s enjoying it, Louie.”
“No, everyone’s enjoying making fun of us.”
“So?” Feliciano countered, “We’re making a memory for Roddy and Lizzie, so that when they look back, they won’t think they had this dumb wedding in a pizzeria cuz they had to get married. All they’ll remember was how much fun it was and how crazy and say, ‘remember when Feli slow danced with Louie? Wasn’t that the coolest?’” Feliciano flashed one of his trademark sunny smiles at his friend.
“Yeah?” Ludwig softened a bit.
Feliciano nodded. “Besides, Louie, you aren’t the one dressed up in your sister’s clothes.” He smiled.
Ludwig laughed. “Yeah, I suppose it could be worse, hunh?”
“Yeah…” Feliciano’s smile broadened into a grin. “Basch could have shot us all cuz your big brother can’t stop slow dancing with his baby sister.”
Ludwig laughed as they left the dance floor to have a slice of pizza with their friends. Unbeknownst to the wedding party, Elizabeta’s parents had discovered she was missing and had made a few frantic phone calls, looking for her. After reaching Roderich’s family and explaining the situation, Shelley discovered their son was also missing. Hanging up, Charles called his brother-in-law, hoping he might know where Roderich was since he and Gilbert always hung out together.
“Wolfie?”
“Ja?”
“Have you seen Roddy?”
“He’s with my boys. They’re supposed to be at Sal’s Pizzeria.”
“Oh… Do you know if Elizabeta’s with them? Her parents are looking for her too.”
“Ja, I believe she’s with them. Is there a problem, Carl?”
“I don’t think so…”
“Carl, come and get me and we’ll go together. I’d meet you there, but Gilbert has my car.”
“Okay, Wolfie. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Charles hung up the phone. Picking it up again, he dialed Elizabeta’s house. “Hello, Frank?”
“Speaking…”
“It’s Charles; I just got off the phone with my brother-in-law. He says the kids are at Sal’s pizzeria.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Ummm… Frank, can you meet us there? I need to pick up my brother-in-law on the way. I get the feeling we should find them together.”
“Sure… so I’ll meet you in the parking lot in ten minutes or so?”
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