DD5yo and upset

[5andcounting]

I am so frustrated with DD5yo and her crying at the drop of a hat! Argh!

DD5yo: Mama I can't find my dress with the rose ribbons! YOu put it away! :sniffle:
Me: No, I didn't. Did you look in the bathroom?
DD5yo: looks, returns with dress, in tears. This dress is the WRONG ONE! WAAAH!
(runs away, 15min of inconsolable tears)

DD5yo: No! I wanted to

Comments

[anonymous]

oh man, p is like that. no suggestions. she has phases though, so sometimes she doesn't it do, but sometimes it ends up being all day every day. i, too, have had less than desirable reactions. on good days, i just try to validate it and help her move on. i know, ! i just want to scream....................

[gardenista]

My daughter went through this for about a year and I didn't know what to do about it. I held her a lot, tried very hard to find out what was wrong. She still has a fairly low frustration tolerance, but I guess that's just who she is.

I know you are not as free as me (I just have one child), but would it be possible to just sit with her and let her cry. Tell her it's okay to cry as much as she likes and that you love her. Just hold her and be present with her. I hear you saying it's a very frequent event, so this might be especially demanding of your time, but it might help her to feel really heard and validated. After some time, her crying might stop, or reduce because of the attention.

I have good theories, but they're only theories. Certainly a mom with just one kid isn't the best source of advice for the mom with four. Sorry.

[5andcounting]

No, you are right of course. It's not her problem that she's one of four! I do much better on more patient days. It is who she is, and I need to find the resources within myself to deal with it and help her with it. I'm a bit, erm, strained ATM - it will be better soon.

I'll do better tomorrow! New day, new chance :-) I will tell her I love her and hold her whenever I can. There's no way it will hurt, and it will help me, no matter what!

[deliciousylatan]

hey

[5andcounting]

you're in :-)

[pamdala]

My daughter went through this phase as well. She still gets irritated at the drop of a hat (literally), but her reactions are shorter and not as loud now. At the time it was at its' peak, it was very hard to be patient, and like you I tried all kinds of responses. She really hates empathy (it makes her even angrier or more upset), so usually I would end up saying something like "I'll be right here when you're ready for me to hold you."

She often will scream "go away" and the second I say "OK" and make a move to go away, she screams "NOOOO! DON'T GO AWAY". She's finally gotten across that she wants me to stay in the room with her but not look at her or say anything. If I do that, things usually end faster and she'll say "I want you to hold me now" when she's finished screaming/crying/sulking.

Here's hoping the phase is short for your daughter.

[5andcounting]

She's much, much better! I dunno if it was me or her or the man in the moon, but she's back to her regular sensitive but livable self. Thank goodness!