(no subject)
Before I start, I'd just like to say to all you boys: You all suck. Thank you. I'm done now...
Yea, so I decided I'd try my hand at venting, like I don't already vent as it is, right? So, here I go:
Friend 1:
Of all the years I have known you an dwe have been "friends" you were the last person I would have ever expected to blow me off like you did and take someone else's side over mine. We have been through so much, and had so many memories and you went and blew it all off like it meant nothing to you. Like what we had was meaningless, all because I was sick of the childish games and drama. You are trying to say that I cause a lot of drama, that I am the one who makes things difficult, that I am the once who is pretentious and two-faced yet you never told me to my face why you decided to stop taking my calls. I had to find out from someone else...
Friend 2:
At first, I didn't like you, and I know you didn't like me. I thought we worked through that, I thought we got over it. But as soon as the rest of the clique decides to hate me you go and join them... You tag a long like a shadow, jumping at their every command. Do you even have a mind of your own? r do you just listen to everything they tell you? Do you just do as they say and say what they tell you to say? You are way smarter than that.. and you know that none of that shit is true, and you don't even have the balls to stick up to them... What a winner...
Friend 3:
Of all the people I have befriended in my life, you were the one who got me. You were the one who could come back at me as fast as I could you. You met me intelectually and I loved it. Whatever happened to that smiley face air freshener? What did you write on that, or have you forgotten? What about the promises, did they mean nothing to you? Am I the only person in this world who understand the meaning of a promise? Why did you leave me for her when you knew the two of you would only be a fling? WHy did you say you'd rather be a meaningful friend than a meaningless boyfriend and then leave your friend for you girlfriend? Why did you let the drama come between us? Why didn't you come to me about those rumors instead of listening to them, like everyone else? I got you, you got me. We were great together, and now it can never be the same because you chose to leave what we had for that. And why? For what? A little temporary satisfaction? You're better than that, and the satisfaction is gone, now. After not even 8 months... Gone.
Miscellaneous 1:
I love you. I will always love you. You are the one I will never forget. The one I will always have my first memory of everything with. Things have been great with uis, and things have been terrible with us. You made me so happy when we were together, and I'm sorry that spark died. You started to treat me like shit. You never listened to me, you never stopped arguing or proving me wrong. You chose your friends over my happiness... We always did what you wanted to do... You started treating me like I didn't matter to you. I gave you everything, MY LIFE and you gave me ice cream and a rented movie every frday night... I will always love you, and I will always think of you every time I drive through cannery row, or go to the aquarium... But I will never ever let myself make the mistakes I made with you.
Miscellaneous 2:
I wish you weren't so god damn clingy. I wish you realize what I mean when I say that I'm content with what I have. I hate that you're always bugging me about one thing or another. In a way, you remind me of Misc. 1 because you spoil me, but that's about all. There's nothing more there, romantically. I'm not physically attracted to you, I don't want to be your girlfriend. I want to be your friend. I want to be there for you when you have no one else. I want to be the person who gives you advice when you're strapped... I dont' want anything more.
Miscellaneous 3:
In the short time I have known you my feelings for you have sky-rocketed. If I had known you would do this to me, I would have put the walls up a lot sooner. I can't believe you've done what you have done in such little time... I thought I would have more to say than just this but as I try to express it all, my mind just goes blank. I can't just adress you anonymously, thinking I can vent it all away, it won't happen...
Family 1:
I love you. You are the greatest influence in my life. I wish you would treat me like I deserve. I'm not some inhuman machine of perfection. I won't always do as perfectly as a Stepford student and I won't ever do everything you have always wanted. I will always be your best friend and I will always be in your hear and a part of you, no matter how far away we are. I just wanted you to treat me like you did him. Never have I seen a person in this family treated like royalty... I'm not the only person who says it, either. Katie, Karen, Sarai, Ashley... they all noticed it... Why are you in such denial about it?
Family 2:
I will always look up to you. I will always regard your opinions much higher than they should be regarded. I will always come to you for advice, first. When I know many others would give me better word of wisdom. I hate that you have always been the center of attention. You walk into a room and attention is instantly diverted from me to you. Why? Why does he call to talk to you and ignore me? Why does he invite you to go all over the place with him and not me? Why does he come over to see you and ignore my existence? I don't understand why they treat you so differently when I have accomplished so much more. I was the good kid, I got the good grades and was in the honors classes. I did what they asked and you STILL got all their attention. All I ever mustered out was "This isn't good enough." or "We expect more from you..." you always got "great job!" "what would you lik ein reward for a PASSING grade?" I GOT STRAIGHT FUCKING A'S! And all I got was "Kepp it up. You ARE capable.. No excuses when there's a B next semseter."
Family 3:
Of all the attempts you have made at trying to be there I have never once seen a moment or had the idea that you didn't love me until the day you walked into the house, right past me, and into his room. My existence was obliterated that instant... and I could have so much as died rigth there and you would have never known the difference. Because I'm a girl? Because I wasn't a fuck up in school? because I never stole from my school or wal mart? because i never committed grand-arsen? why? because i never inherited your criminal genes? what the fuck did i ever do to be treated that way? for you to make an attempt 18 years after i was brought into this world... and on that day, might i add, you were out getting a hot dog with your first born... and missed my birth. i don't even want to try with you anymore... it doesn't even matter.
Family 4:
I can't remember a day where I didn't have you on my mind. You are, by far, the most trivial family member of all. you're se;fish, an alcoholic, rude, pervers... th elist goes on. you know i can't stand to look at you, hear you, see you, or even so much as smell you. your fucked up life, your fucked up decisionc are what out us here in the first place. we would have never had any of these problems if it weren't for your selfish drug abusing, alcoholic antics. i detest your existence and i rejoice the day that i can finally be away from you, permanantly, by choice... not because you've yet to arrive home from work. what would you even do without her taking care of you. your idea of grocery shopping is buying chili, tuna and pot pies from the dollar store. you could give a shit less if your son does his homework every night as long as he makes it to karate. you have brought my mother to her lowest, and made her feel so useless that it's hard for her to even breathe. and all you can do is sit your fat ass at the computer every night and play your game, trying to be oblivious, like if you stick youre head in a hole the threat will go away. she's leaving you. she's leaving you and never looking back and i look forward to the day that you wake your sorry ass up and realize you're in the REAL WORLD now... scary thought, isn't it? that an 18 year old has a better grasp on society than a 43 year old man
Miscellaneous 4:
I hate that you won't look me in the eyes and tell me what you think. I hate that you run to the code of ethics every time I confide in you a situation I need help with. i hate that you can't trust me enough to know that when i tell you i'm ok, and everything is ok that i really truly mean it. most of all, i hate that i look up to you soo highly and yet have more things in my life figured out than you do. you're the only adult in the world, of unrelation to me who actually gets me. who understands what i muct be going through and who is willing to talk to me about it... i respect you more than soo many people put together... yet i only ever see you when i'm just dropping by to say hi. in so many ways, i was looking forward to spending my weekends across the street from you, in soem high hopes that i might be able to hang out with you, causally. it seems as though the closer to that reality comes, the further from reality that fantasy actually is. and werent' you the one who brought it up in the first place? "Oh, great! We'll be able to have time to get to know eachother in a more causal situation." If I'm not mistaken...I miss you, and I miss seeing you all the time and I miss your advice, and your wisdom. I miss it all... I never wanted it to end...
You suck, Kris. That made me feel a lot worse. :-( I need to take a nap.
Yea, so I decided I'd try my hand at venting, like I don't already vent as it is, right? So, here I go:
Friend 1:
Of all the years I have known you an dwe have been "friends" you were the last person I would have ever expected to blow me off like you did and take someone else's side over mine. We have been through so much, and had so many memories and you went and blew it all off like it meant nothing to you. Like what we had was meaningless, all because I was sick of the childish games and drama. You are trying to say that I cause a lot of drama, that I am the one who makes things difficult, that I am the once who is pretentious and two-faced yet you never told me to my face why you decided to stop taking my calls. I had to find out from someone else...
Friend 2:
At first, I didn't like you, and I know you didn't like me. I thought we worked through that, I thought we got over it. But as soon as the rest of the clique decides to hate me you go and join them... You tag a long like a shadow, jumping at their every command. Do you even have a mind of your own? r do you just listen to everything they tell you? Do you just do as they say and say what they tell you to say? You are way smarter than that.. and you know that none of that shit is true, and you don't even have the balls to stick up to them... What a winner...
Friend 3:
Of all the people I have befriended in my life, you were the one who got me. You were the one who could come back at me as fast as I could you. You met me intelectually and I loved it. Whatever happened to that smiley face air freshener? What did you write on that, or have you forgotten? What about the promises, did they mean nothing to you? Am I the only person in this world who understand the meaning of a promise? Why did you leave me for her when you knew the two of you would only be a fling? WHy did you say you'd rather be a meaningful friend than a meaningless boyfriend and then leave your friend for you girlfriend? Why did you let the drama come between us? Why didn't you come to me about those rumors instead of listening to them, like everyone else? I got you, you got me. We were great together, and now it can never be the same because you chose to leave what we had for that. And why? For what? A little temporary satisfaction? You're better than that, and the satisfaction is gone, now. After not even 8 months... Gone.
Miscellaneous 1:
I love you. I will always love you. You are the one I will never forget. The one I will always have my first memory of everything with. Things have been great with uis, and things have been terrible with us. You made me so happy when we were together, and I'm sorry that spark died. You started to treat me like shit. You never listened to me, you never stopped arguing or proving me wrong. You chose your friends over my happiness... We always did what you wanted to do... You started treating me like I didn't matter to you. I gave you everything, MY LIFE and you gave me ice cream and a rented movie every frday night... I will always love you, and I will always think of you every time I drive through cannery row, or go to the aquarium... But I will never ever let myself make the mistakes I made with you.
Miscellaneous 2:
I wish you weren't so god damn clingy. I wish you realize what I mean when I say that I'm content with what I have. I hate that you're always bugging me about one thing or another. In a way, you remind me of Misc. 1 because you spoil me, but that's about all. There's nothing more there, romantically. I'm not physically attracted to you, I don't want to be your girlfriend. I want to be your friend. I want to be there for you when you have no one else. I want to be the person who gives you advice when you're strapped... I dont' want anything more.
Miscellaneous 3:
In the short time I have known you my feelings for you have sky-rocketed. If I had known you would do this to me, I would have put the walls up a lot sooner. I can't believe you've done what you have done in such little time... I thought I would have more to say than just this but as I try to express it all, my mind just goes blank. I can't just adress you anonymously, thinking I can vent it all away, it won't happen...
Family 1:
I love you. You are the greatest influence in my life. I wish you would treat me like I deserve. I'm not some inhuman machine of perfection. I won't always do as perfectly as a Stepford student and I won't ever do everything you have always wanted. I will always be your best friend and I will always be in your hear and a part of you, no matter how far away we are. I just wanted you to treat me like you did him. Never have I seen a person in this family treated like royalty... I'm not the only person who says it, either. Katie, Karen, Sarai, Ashley... they all noticed it... Why are you in such denial about it?
Family 2:
I will always look up to you. I will always regard your opinions much higher than they should be regarded. I will always come to you for advice, first. When I know many others would give me better word of wisdom. I hate that you have always been the center of attention. You walk into a room and attention is instantly diverted from me to you. Why? Why does he call to talk to you and ignore me? Why does he invite you to go all over the place with him and not me? Why does he come over to see you and ignore my existence? I don't understand why they treat you so differently when I have accomplished so much more. I was the good kid, I got the good grades and was in the honors classes. I did what they asked and you STILL got all their attention. All I ever mustered out was "This isn't good enough." or "We expect more from you..." you always got "great job!" "what would you lik ein reward for a PASSING grade?" I GOT STRAIGHT FUCKING A'S! And all I got was "Kepp it up. You ARE capable.. No excuses when there's a B next semseter."
Family 3:
Of all the attempts you have made at trying to be there I have never once seen a moment or had the idea that you didn't love me until the day you walked into the house, right past me, and into his room. My existence was obliterated that instant... and I could have so much as died rigth there and you would have never known the difference. Because I'm a girl? Because I wasn't a fuck up in school? because I never stole from my school or wal mart? because i never committed grand-arsen? why? because i never inherited your criminal genes? what the fuck did i ever do to be treated that way? for you to make an attempt 18 years after i was brought into this world... and on that day, might i add, you were out getting a hot dog with your first born... and missed my birth. i don't even want to try with you anymore... it doesn't even matter.
Family 4:
I can't remember a day where I didn't have you on my mind. You are, by far, the most trivial family member of all. you're se;fish, an alcoholic, rude, pervers... th elist goes on. you know i can't stand to look at you, hear you, see you, or even so much as smell you. your fucked up life, your fucked up decisionc are what out us here in the first place. we would have never had any of these problems if it weren't for your selfish drug abusing, alcoholic antics. i detest your existence and i rejoice the day that i can finally be away from you, permanantly, by choice... not because you've yet to arrive home from work. what would you even do without her taking care of you. your idea of grocery shopping is buying chili, tuna and pot pies from the dollar store. you could give a shit less if your son does his homework every night as long as he makes it to karate. you have brought my mother to her lowest, and made her feel so useless that it's hard for her to even breathe. and all you can do is sit your fat ass at the computer every night and play your game, trying to be oblivious, like if you stick youre head in a hole the threat will go away. she's leaving you. she's leaving you and never looking back and i look forward to the day that you wake your sorry ass up and realize you're in the REAL WORLD now... scary thought, isn't it? that an 18 year old has a better grasp on society than a 43 year old man
Miscellaneous 4:
I hate that you won't look me in the eyes and tell me what you think. I hate that you run to the code of ethics every time I confide in you a situation I need help with. i hate that you can't trust me enough to know that when i tell you i'm ok, and everything is ok that i really truly mean it. most of all, i hate that i look up to you soo highly and yet have more things in my life figured out than you do. you're the only adult in the world, of unrelation to me who actually gets me. who understands what i muct be going through and who is willing to talk to me about it... i respect you more than soo many people put together... yet i only ever see you when i'm just dropping by to say hi. in so many ways, i was looking forward to spending my weekends across the street from you, in soem high hopes that i might be able to hang out with you, causally. it seems as though the closer to that reality comes, the further from reality that fantasy actually is. and werent' you the one who brought it up in the first place? "Oh, great! We'll be able to have time to get to know eachother in a more causal situation." If I'm not mistaken...I miss you, and I miss seeing you all the time and I miss your advice, and your wisdom. I miss it all... I never wanted it to end...
You suck, Kris. That made me feel a lot worse. :-( I need to take a nap.