The Meaning of Solitude (Pretty Little Liars, Hanna Marin and Tom Marin, #17)
Title: The Meaning of Solitude
Author/Artist: gildedgardens
Character/Pairing: Hanna Marin, Tom Marin
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Theme: #17, missing time
On a snowy evening in January, Hanna Marin fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat at her family’s pristine dinner table. Normally she wouldn’t step foot in the dining room, but many things had changed since her father moved back into the house a week ago.
Her mother Ashley recently took a position at her ad firm’s branch in Singapore. Of course Hanna was just sixteen and couldn’t live alone, so the woman allowed her ex-husband Tom Marin, his fiancée Isabel Randall, and his soon-to-be stepdaughter Kate into Hanna’s territory.
She shot a furtive look at the brunette sitting across from her. Kate was Hanna’s age and seemed to be the perfect replacement daughter for her dad. With long chestnut hair, a gracefully toned figure, and random school achievements to her name, Kate always had the upper hand over her.
Hanna remembered the first time she and Ali met the girl four years ago in Annapolis. She bitterly recalled how quickly the two became friends and how awkward she felt being the chubby, ugly third wheel. In that moment it was clear to her why her father and mother had divorced a few months earlier. She wasn’t the ideal daughter he wanted. He found someone prettier and smarter to be proud of.
She lost weight and reinvented herself just in time for high school, but seeing Kate again made her feel so inferior. It didn’t help that the brunette also happened to be a manipulative bitch who liked to play innocent in front of the adults. Hanna grit her teeth as images of that night at the Four Seasons flashed through her mind. Kate’s self-satisfied smirk, Isabel’s subtly disapproving expression, the disappointment on her father’s face…she breathed out forcefully and stared down at her plate. She hated having these people in her house. She hated the fact that her father felt like a stranger to her.
“Han, is everything okay?” Tom glanced over with a concerned look.
She gave a wan smile and replied, “Everything’s fine. I’m just stressed about midterms.” Hanna tucked a long strand of auburn hair behind her ear and took a sip of water. She noticed Kate watching her and resisted the urge to snarl at the brunette.
“Well I’m sure Kate could help you out! She was at the top of all of her classes back in Maryland,” her father offered enthusiastically.
“That’s right! She also tutored other students in math and Spanish on top of all of her other extracurricular activities. She was the top student of her class,” Isabel chimed in.
“Oh stop it, you two are embarrassing me,” Kate tittered lightly.
“There’s no need to be modest, honey; we all know what an overachiever you are!” Isabel winked while Tom nodded approvingly.
“I’m sure Hanna’s a great student too,” Kate hedged while giving the brunette a saccharine smile.
“Of course! What are you doing again, Han?” her father asked.
Holding her fork in a vice grip, Hanna mumbled, “I’m in AP English and Honors Spanish.” The other three looked at her expectantly as if waiting to hear her say more.
After a long moment of silence, her father cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Well that’s great honey.” He turned to Kate. “When do school auditions start for Hamlet? Are you nervous about trying out for Ophelia’s part?”
“They start on the Tuesday after Hanna’s midterms,” she replied. Since Kate moved to Rosewood at an awkward time in the school year, she wouldn’t be enrolling in Rosewood Day until after midterm week was complete. “I’m not that worried though. Hamlet’s one of my favorite plays and I know Ophelia’s character pretty well. But who knows, I just might get last-minute nerves! I’ve heard a lot of good things about Rosewood Day’s drama program.”
Hanna scowled as the conversation was focused on Kate again. Every damn night there was something new for Tom to boast about when it came to Little Miss Perfect. Hanna might as well have been invisible. She stared resentfully at the man she called her father. Four years. It’s been four years since I’ve seen him and he’s completely moved on to his perfect new family.
After several more minutes of hearing her father and Isabel lauding Kate, she couldn’t take it anymore. Leaving her plate half-full, the brunette excused herself from the table and left before anyone could respond.
Nearly an hour later Hanna finished studying for her American history midterm and shut her notebook. As she stowed away her notes, a small picture on her desk caught her eye. Her throat tightened as she saw an image of herself and Mona Vanderwaal posing together at a party. Hanna would never get to ask the blonde why she did such horrible things to her. She’d never understand how her best friend could be so damn heartless and attempt to run her over.
She unconsciously touched a faint scar on her chin which she received from the attempted murder. It was difficult for everyone else to understand, but Mona was one of the few people that really mattered to her. She was Hanna’s lifeline after Ali disappeared the summer before eighth grade. She distracted the brunette from the pain of having her father abandon her for them. The two had so much in common and Hanna truly thought she found a lifelong best friend. Now she wondered if Mona ever genuinely liked or cared about her.
Her morose thoughts were distracted by a knock on the door. “Hanna? Can I come in?”
It was her father. The brunette sighed and took a moment before complying. “Sure, the door’s unlocked.” The oak door slowly opened and her father peered in sheepishly through his square-frame glasses. She looked at him expectantly.
Tom eased into the room and closed the door behind him. He clasped his hands and began to talk. “I know this whole arrangement’s been a bit awkward for you. It’s been a scary time for you in the past few months and now you have this to deal with. But I want you to know that everything’s going to be alright. Things might seem strange right now, but in the end it’ll all work out.”
Hanna stared at Tom with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. Could it be possible for them to move on from the Percocet incident last fall? Could she actually repair her relationship with her dad? Maybe he understood her more than she gave him credit for. It would be so wonderful to be close with her father again. As loathe as she was to admit it, she missed him terribly.
Before she could think of a response, he pressed on, “And besides, you’re not alone! Kate’s having a tough time adjusting too. Making a move from her home and her friends to Pennsylvania isn’t the easiest situation to handle. I think you two will be able to help each other out. She’s not as bad as you think.” He looked at her firmly near the end of his speech.
In that instant, Hanna’s momentary feelings of goodwill evaporated. It always came back to Kate, didn’t it? She was a fool to expect otherwise. Her expression became neutral and Tom seemed slightly puzzled by the change in her demeanor. She dully replied, “I understand. If you’re done, I really need to study for my midterms.” She abruptly turned to her desk and opened a random textbook. She stared at the words as tears began to form in her eyes.
A disappointed sigh sounded from behind her. “Alright Hanna. Good night.” The door closed quietly and the brunette immediately lowered her head onto the book. What was the saying for situations like this? ‘Hope springs eternal’? Well it was certainly starting to run short for Hanna.
She should’ve known better than to hope that things could go back to the way they were before the divorce. The man who used to take her to the best Phillies games and comfort her whenever her self-esteem was at its lowest point was nothing more than a complete stranger today. Four years of having no contact had strained the relationship to its breaking point.
The brunette finally lifted her head and glared at nothing in particular. Her best friend-turned-stalker was dead, her enemy was now sleeping a room over from her, and her father was treating her like a troubled psychiatric patient. She had never felt so alone until now.
Author/Artist: gildedgardens
Character/Pairing: Hanna Marin, Tom Marin
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Theme: #17, missing time
On a snowy evening in January, Hanna Marin fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat at her family’s pristine dinner table. Normally she wouldn’t step foot in the dining room, but many things had changed since her father moved back into the house a week ago.
Her mother Ashley recently took a position at her ad firm’s branch in Singapore. Of course Hanna was just sixteen and couldn’t live alone, so the woman allowed her ex-husband Tom Marin, his fiancée Isabel Randall, and his soon-to-be stepdaughter Kate into Hanna’s territory.
She shot a furtive look at the brunette sitting across from her. Kate was Hanna’s age and seemed to be the perfect replacement daughter for her dad. With long chestnut hair, a gracefully toned figure, and random school achievements to her name, Kate always had the upper hand over her.
Hanna remembered the first time she and Ali met the girl four years ago in Annapolis. She bitterly recalled how quickly the two became friends and how awkward she felt being the chubby, ugly third wheel. In that moment it was clear to her why her father and mother had divorced a few months earlier. She wasn’t the ideal daughter he wanted. He found someone prettier and smarter to be proud of.
She lost weight and reinvented herself just in time for high school, but seeing Kate again made her feel so inferior. It didn’t help that the brunette also happened to be a manipulative bitch who liked to play innocent in front of the adults. Hanna grit her teeth as images of that night at the Four Seasons flashed through her mind. Kate’s self-satisfied smirk, Isabel’s subtly disapproving expression, the disappointment on her father’s face…she breathed out forcefully and stared down at her plate. She hated having these people in her house. She hated the fact that her father felt like a stranger to her.
“Han, is everything okay?” Tom glanced over with a concerned look.
She gave a wan smile and replied, “Everything’s fine. I’m just stressed about midterms.” Hanna tucked a long strand of auburn hair behind her ear and took a sip of water. She noticed Kate watching her and resisted the urge to snarl at the brunette.
“Well I’m sure Kate could help you out! She was at the top of all of her classes back in Maryland,” her father offered enthusiastically.
“That’s right! She also tutored other students in math and Spanish on top of all of her other extracurricular activities. She was the top student of her class,” Isabel chimed in.
“Oh stop it, you two are embarrassing me,” Kate tittered lightly.
“There’s no need to be modest, honey; we all know what an overachiever you are!” Isabel winked while Tom nodded approvingly.
“I’m sure Hanna’s a great student too,” Kate hedged while giving the brunette a saccharine smile.
“Of course! What are you doing again, Han?” her father asked.
Holding her fork in a vice grip, Hanna mumbled, “I’m in AP English and Honors Spanish.” The other three looked at her expectantly as if waiting to hear her say more.
After a long moment of silence, her father cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Well that’s great honey.” He turned to Kate. “When do school auditions start for Hamlet? Are you nervous about trying out for Ophelia’s part?”
“They start on the Tuesday after Hanna’s midterms,” she replied. Since Kate moved to Rosewood at an awkward time in the school year, she wouldn’t be enrolling in Rosewood Day until after midterm week was complete. “I’m not that worried though. Hamlet’s one of my favorite plays and I know Ophelia’s character pretty well. But who knows, I just might get last-minute nerves! I’ve heard a lot of good things about Rosewood Day’s drama program.”
Hanna scowled as the conversation was focused on Kate again. Every damn night there was something new for Tom to boast about when it came to Little Miss Perfect. Hanna might as well have been invisible. She stared resentfully at the man she called her father. Four years. It’s been four years since I’ve seen him and he’s completely moved on to his perfect new family.
After several more minutes of hearing her father and Isabel lauding Kate, she couldn’t take it anymore. Leaving her plate half-full, the brunette excused herself from the table and left before anyone could respond.
Nearly an hour later Hanna finished studying for her American history midterm and shut her notebook. As she stowed away her notes, a small picture on her desk caught her eye. Her throat tightened as she saw an image of herself and Mona Vanderwaal posing together at a party. Hanna would never get to ask the blonde why she did such horrible things to her. She’d never understand how her best friend could be so damn heartless and attempt to run her over.
She unconsciously touched a faint scar on her chin which she received from the attempted murder. It was difficult for everyone else to understand, but Mona was one of the few people that really mattered to her. She was Hanna’s lifeline after Ali disappeared the summer before eighth grade. She distracted the brunette from the pain of having her father abandon her for them. The two had so much in common and Hanna truly thought she found a lifelong best friend. Now she wondered if Mona ever genuinely liked or cared about her.
Her morose thoughts were distracted by a knock on the door. “Hanna? Can I come in?”
It was her father. The brunette sighed and took a moment before complying. “Sure, the door’s unlocked.” The oak door slowly opened and her father peered in sheepishly through his square-frame glasses. She looked at him expectantly.
Tom eased into the room and closed the door behind him. He clasped his hands and began to talk. “I know this whole arrangement’s been a bit awkward for you. It’s been a scary time for you in the past few months and now you have this to deal with. But I want you to know that everything’s going to be alright. Things might seem strange right now, but in the end it’ll all work out.”
Hanna stared at Tom with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. Could it be possible for them to move on from the Percocet incident last fall? Could she actually repair her relationship with her dad? Maybe he understood her more than she gave him credit for. It would be so wonderful to be close with her father again. As loathe as she was to admit it, she missed him terribly.
Before she could think of a response, he pressed on, “And besides, you’re not alone! Kate’s having a tough time adjusting too. Making a move from her home and her friends to Pennsylvania isn’t the easiest situation to handle. I think you two will be able to help each other out. She’s not as bad as you think.” He looked at her firmly near the end of his speech.
In that instant, Hanna’s momentary feelings of goodwill evaporated. It always came back to Kate, didn’t it? She was a fool to expect otherwise. Her expression became neutral and Tom seemed slightly puzzled by the change in her demeanor. She dully replied, “I understand. If you’re done, I really need to study for my midterms.” She abruptly turned to her desk and opened a random textbook. She stared at the words as tears began to form in her eyes.
A disappointed sigh sounded from behind her. “Alright Hanna. Good night.” The door closed quietly and the brunette immediately lowered her head onto the book. What was the saying for situations like this? ‘Hope springs eternal’? Well it was certainly starting to run short for Hanna.
She should’ve known better than to hope that things could go back to the way they were before the divorce. The man who used to take her to the best Phillies games and comfort her whenever her self-esteem was at its lowest point was nothing more than a complete stranger today. Four years of having no contact had strained the relationship to its breaking point.
The brunette finally lifted her head and glared at nothing in particular. Her best friend-turned-stalker was dead, her enemy was now sleeping a room over from her, and her father was treating her like a troubled psychiatric patient. She had never felt so alone until now.