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[6678]

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Comments

[sinatras]

I think its a nice chapter. I think it would be better if you worked on point of view, detail such as adding more adjetives would help. I think a big goal for chapter to is to show more of you're writing style and my the characters have more distinct personalities.

[6678]

Well lets see I do that last, I don't come up with the characteristics for a character the story does...it tells me what it wants.