I may have the whole "fuck valentine's day" attitude going on for me right now, but the truth is, I want it so bad. Every Valentine's day that has passed has been whatever to me. Sure the whole Brittany thing affected it, but you know what, I grew out of it a long time ago. I don't have one, and I hate it. It's not like just anyone can fill that ( Read more... )

So this weekend was alright. On Friday, Kelsey invited me to go to a bonfire that she was throwing with her friends and whatnot. At first I was like, uh fuck no. I didn't think that I would fit in and shit, but then I was like fuck it, she invited me, she told me she wanted me there so I'll go. I asked if Colin (her boyfriend) was going to be there ( Read more... )

Why do I expect so much from someone who I know will give nothing more than less of what I expect? I cannot fathom my persistence with this hope bullshit. Why do I even continue to hope for her to just magically like me, appear on my doorstep, and tell me that she wants to be with me? What the FUCK do I find in this girl that keeps me wanting her? ( Read more... )

So lately everything has been plain. Nothing has felt GREAT or HORRIBLE. I decided to kick Kelsey out my life because I just couldn't handle being her toy anymore. That didn't work out too well. Everything I came across reminded me of her and I couldn't handle that either. I prefer being tortured by her than myself. So, I couldn't stay away from ( Read more... )

Honestly, I don't know when the next time I find love will be. I don't even want to find it anymore ( Read more... )

So last night I was hanging out with a couple of friends and at first I got a call from Didi, of course asking me for a favor, what else is new? So I did what she asked and then we hung up. A few minutes after Kelsey calls me, and I grew nervous. I have no idea why. I didn't pick up the because I didn't know what to say or how to answer. When it ( Read more... )

So it turns out she was ignoring me. Yesterday I went out with my friend Katrina to find her an outfit for an audition she has on Sunday. It was fun I have to admit. So we went to Dadeland (conveniently where she works) and passed by Victoria's Secret so many times and eventually walked in. She was working and whatever she saw me and we kinda said ( Read more... )

She's ignoring me. I don't know what I did, but she's ignoring me. Jesus man.. Guess she wants to stay with the boyfriend...

I give up with this whole love thing..

Today I have spent most of the day doubting everything, precisely, my progress (or lackthereof) with Kelsey. What makes me think I can make her leave her boyfriend? Isn't that rather rash of me to believe that I have that much power over a woman's mind? It's cocky of me. I don't like it. Anywho, I've had this window open for two hours wondering ( Read more... )

She amazes me.. like I don't remember the last time I spent the whole day thinking of a girl (in a good way at least). I wonder what it would take for me to get her to realize that I can make and keep her happy.. I have not been willing to make an effort to be with someone for the longest time, I guess no one can understand that but me.

I' ( Read more... )