SPN fic: All Blood Bleeds Red: Afterword
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Can you believe this was supposed to be a 2000-word porn with absolutely no plot whatsoever? Over 19,000 words later, and it's finally done.
First off, I owe a lot of thanks on this story. First of all, to ellipsisblack, who encouraged and beta'd it; conversations with Elle are what led me to think "huh, I should try and have a plot for this porn", thus leading to the monster of a story that developed, which is one of the reasons I often referred to the story as "elle's mayan knifeporn". I owe another one to clex_monkie89, who was my cheerleader, and provided a lot of advice on the blood loss, cutting, and many other details. jewels667 let me pick her brain about Texas, a good thing since she'd probably kick my ass if I made any horrible mistakes. The final one goes to stephanometra, who helped me fix my porn when it broke on me right as I was trying to write the final sex scene, and who was probably my biggest cheerleader throughout this whole process. To everyone and anyone else who encouraged me, you've got my undying thanks as well.
I've never written an afterword for a fic before; I love reading them when others write them, and yet I find it vaguely pretentious to do it myself.
A few notes of interest about the story.
The stele (a word I'd never heard before in my life, but which refers to an ancient stone slab or pillar that is usual engraved, inscribed or painted, and set upright; it can also be called a stela, but my Word spell-check doesn't like that version of the word) described in the story really is on display at the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth Texas.
The figure on the stele is a Mayan King who ruled sometime around 700 A.D., known as Sun-Faced Jaguar, or K'inich B'ahlam II. It came to the museum before the 1970 treaty that prohibited trading stolen antiquities. It's thought that the stele was stolen by a Mexican logger who cut it into pieces in order to transport it away from the original site. There is a matching stele of the ruler's wife, which is owned by Cleveland Museum of Art.
It is also true that the Kimbell Art Museum is paying for a replica to be sent to Guatemala, rather than returning the original piece of art. Personally, I think that's a little bitchy, but I guess it's better than what Cleveland is doing, which is precisely nothing. Because they obtained the art before the treaties, they're not required to do anything.
I fudged the timeline on the announcement, though. I have no idea when they announced they doing it, so I just made it when I needed the drought to be.
The plot of this fic was essentially inspired by this article.
I've read a few knifeplay fics because it's a concept that really, really intrigues me. However, I've yet to read one that I really enjoyed, because for me they go astray in two ways:
1 - There's often no set-up other than that Sam + Dean + Knives = TEH HOTNESS!, which honestly, doesn't work for me. It can make a steamy PWP, but I really feel that for something as intense as knife/bloodplay, you need a little more to build on than that knives and blood are hot when applied to Sam and Dean.
2 - Bloodplay and injury during sex often are part of a larger dominant/submissive or sado-masochistic framework where power and control are central to the sexual elements of the story. Again, there's a lack of believable plot that would make me believe that Dean and Sam could be in such a relationship, and in general, I don't buy such an obvious power dynamic between the boys. There are obviously a lot of power issues between Sam and Dean, where they hold a lot of power over one another because of their love for one another - but generally, I don't see Sam as the aggressive, dominant top who controls a simpering, submissive Dean. Or vice versa, really.
Both of these led me to want to write a different kind of story about knifeplay. I wanted to avoid the three main stereotypes of knifeplay stories:
A - The PWP story.
B - The dominant/submissive story.
C - The story where the person doing the hurting is all "omg, that's bad, I don't want to hurt you!" and has to be convinced by the person who wants to be hurt that it's okay.
Which meant I would need to establish a plot strong enough to support why one of the boys was hurting the other one without leaving it at "because it's sexy, goddamnit!" Furthermore, such a plot would need to be free from any power/control dynamic that had one of the boys cast as "dominant" and the other one as "submissive", and third, I'd need the one holding the knife to be a willing, active participant without actually being a sadist.
I really, really hope that I accomplished that, with this story. I tried to write it in such a way that the infliction of pain isn't about power, control or dominance, but about love and trust and how much the boys need each other and want to make sure the other is okay. Sam doesn't hurt Dean because he thinks it's kinky and hot, but because it something that Dean wants and even needs, something that will make him happy.
I tried to separate the need to be hurt from the need to be dominated or humiliated. I countered Dean's need to be hurt by letting him "top" Sam following the sacrifice. I'm something of a switch when it comes to "who tops" in the Sam/Dean dynamic, and am willing to put either boy in either position. However, in that instance, it was important for me that Dean's need to be hurt not translate to powerlessness - not that being the "catcher" during anal sex is a powerless position. One way for me to establish that Dean, through scared, completely emotionally raw, and in significant physical pain, still had some power, was to let him take the more active role during sex.
That said, of course, that entire scene is a lot of give and take between the two of them. Dean may be physically on top, but Sam still guides him through some parts of it, reassuring Dean that what they're doing is all right. Which I hope sums up what I was going for - that they love each other, trust one another enough to be able to do something that is frightening for both of them, and are ultimately equal in their relationship as both brothers and sex partners.
So, uh, yeah. I'm not sure what else to say about that, but that's really what I was going for with this story, and I really hope that came across for you.
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for reading my story and even bothering with my long-winded and somewhat pretentious afterword. I really, really enjoyed writing this story, and I truly hope that you enjoyed reading it. Thank you so much.
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