(no subject)
A rant entry.
I don't know why, but I feel so fucking empty. Nothing actually matters anymore. None of my 'friends' are there anymore. Every day I find people leaving me, and me meeting new people because I don't know what to do. They all just get replaced, and I feel like shit for that but what choice do I really have? Best friends forever is such a joke. It just doesn't matter to anyone anymore. Who knows what tomorrow has in store. For all you know, you could kick the bucket, and who knows who will actually care? No one does.
Not that anything really does anymore. I liked making web pages, now what the hell do I have to show for it? I can't design shit, let alone a site that someones going to come to and actually enjoy. I used to like writing, now I can't write for anything. Acting? a joke. Skating? a fail. There's nothing that I can do well anymore. Boo rah. Come to this girl when you need to know something about pot or drugs, then fuck off like nothing ever happened and like I never existed. Yeah, fuck you, I do drugs. Big fucking deal, don't pretend you care.
I can actually see my friendships fuck up in front of my eyes now. It's like when I meet someone I can tell how long it is until they'll tell everyone my secrets and gossip about me, or betray me and leave just like everyone else always does. Fuck that, but most of all, fuck all of them. I hope they all enjoy their new fucking friends and their new fucking life. I'm learning who my real friends are, and I'm never going to forget it.
I don't know why, but I feel so fucking empty. Nothing actually matters anymore. None of my 'friends' are there anymore. Every day I find people leaving me, and me meeting new people because I don't know what to do. They all just get replaced, and I feel like shit for that but what choice do I really have? Best friends forever is such a joke. It just doesn't matter to anyone anymore. Who knows what tomorrow has in store. For all you know, you could kick the bucket, and who knows who will actually care? No one does.
Not that anything really does anymore. I liked making web pages, now what the hell do I have to show for it? I can't design shit, let alone a site that someones going to come to and actually enjoy. I used to like writing, now I can't write for anything. Acting? a joke. Skating? a fail. There's nothing that I can do well anymore. Boo rah. Come to this girl when you need to know something about pot or drugs, then fuck off like nothing ever happened and like I never existed. Yeah, fuck you, I do drugs. Big fucking deal, don't pretend you care.
I can actually see my friendships fuck up in front of my eyes now. It's like when I meet someone I can tell how long it is until they'll tell everyone my secrets and gossip about me, or betray me and leave just like everyone else always does. Fuck that, but most of all, fuck all of them. I hope they all enjoy their new fucking friends and their new fucking life. I'm learning who my real friends are, and I'm never going to forget it.