(no subject)
Sorry kiddos. LJ cuts for now. I dont think it'll stick though.
Two face motherfuckers get both jaws cracked.
I hate the way this feels. The way my fists clench and my foot taps and I start chewing on the inside of my cheek. I hate the way my hair falls into my face when I put my face in my hands and shake my head in dismay. I hate the way my throat lumps up whenever my phone rings. I hate spending any amount of time trying to make this ok. It'll never be ok. We both know that.
I hate when I dont hear from you for days or weeks. I hate the way you grow your hair out to the point where it looks good and then shave it off, because everyone likes it that way. I hate the way your voice changes when you talk about us. I hate the way your eyes light up when my eyes meet yours. I hate the way you smile at me so that I can see it from the corner of my eye. I hate when you say I'm beautiful. I hate that when I say "I love you" you think I dont mean it. I hate that its never good enough. I hate the way your little hands keep mine warm. I hate how I always just want to fall asleep on you and shut out the rest of the world. I hate feeling guilty all the time. I hate that you dont understand. I hate that you feel this way. I hate that you feel so strongly. I hate how this won't just go back to me not knowing.
I hate when things change.
To make this a lighter note:
I love being talked about in a good way when people think i'm out of earshot. I love the smell of my skin right out of the shower. I love sitting around in a towel when no one is home. I love curling up in blankets and watching romantic movies in black and white. I love the beauty in thunderstorms even though the thunder sometimes scares me. I love pretending i'm more scared then I really am so that people will hug me. I love being scared out of my wits sometimes. I love the VBW videos. I love wild n' out. I love hanging out with Brendonator. I love hanging out with curly and going to the library. I love nostaligia talk with her. I love the way new clothes make me feel better about myself. I love waking up every morning and standing out on my back porch feeling the warmth on my skin and the air in my lungs and taking in the view. I love when someone wraps their arms around me from behind cause I never expect it! I love Ryan Moran and Matt hugs. I love seeing old friends. I love telling stories. I love kevin oconnors maturity.
I love the way people carry themselves. I love strong stage presence. I love being alone sometimes. I love laying in my room with my cat staring at the ceiling. I love watching movies with graham. I love having my hand kissed. I love having my cheeked kissed. I love kisses. I love giving blood. I love picking up film. I love going to shows and seeing my friends bands. I love Ryans voice still and always will. I love eating chinese in back alleys. I love milkshakes. I love Fuse. I love whispering "I love you" in someones ear. I love hearing it back. I love making peoples days. I love when sean and i beat each other up. I love making fun of homo wells. I love heart to hearts. I love hanging out with Brendon's mom! I love my sweet 16 on MTV. I love when guys are confident enough to tell me they like me. I love arrogance. I love the combuster guys. I love the way you love me best.
Im sick. this sucks. Green tea love.
Andy milinokas is a funny show. I dont care what you think.
~Mini
Two face motherfuckers get both jaws cracked.
I hate the way this feels. The way my fists clench and my foot taps and I start chewing on the inside of my cheek. I hate the way my hair falls into my face when I put my face in my hands and shake my head in dismay. I hate the way my throat lumps up whenever my phone rings. I hate spending any amount of time trying to make this ok. It'll never be ok. We both know that.
I hate when I dont hear from you for days or weeks. I hate the way you grow your hair out to the point where it looks good and then shave it off, because everyone likes it that way. I hate the way your voice changes when you talk about us. I hate the way your eyes light up when my eyes meet yours. I hate the way you smile at me so that I can see it from the corner of my eye. I hate when you say I'm beautiful. I hate that when I say "I love you" you think I dont mean it. I hate that its never good enough. I hate the way your little hands keep mine warm. I hate how I always just want to fall asleep on you and shut out the rest of the world. I hate feeling guilty all the time. I hate that you dont understand. I hate that you feel this way. I hate that you feel so strongly. I hate how this won't just go back to me not knowing.
I hate when things change.
To make this a lighter note:
I love being talked about in a good way when people think i'm out of earshot. I love the smell of my skin right out of the shower. I love sitting around in a towel when no one is home. I love curling up in blankets and watching romantic movies in black and white. I love the beauty in thunderstorms even though the thunder sometimes scares me. I love pretending i'm more scared then I really am so that people will hug me. I love being scared out of my wits sometimes. I love the VBW videos. I love wild n' out. I love hanging out with Brendonator. I love hanging out with curly and going to the library. I love nostaligia talk with her. I love the way new clothes make me feel better about myself. I love waking up every morning and standing out on my back porch feeling the warmth on my skin and the air in my lungs and taking in the view. I love when someone wraps their arms around me from behind cause I never expect it! I love Ryan Moran and Matt hugs. I love seeing old friends. I love telling stories. I love kevin oconnors maturity.
I love the way people carry themselves. I love strong stage presence. I love being alone sometimes. I love laying in my room with my cat staring at the ceiling. I love watching movies with graham. I love having my hand kissed. I love having my cheeked kissed. I love kisses. I love giving blood. I love picking up film. I love going to shows and seeing my friends bands. I love Ryans voice still and always will. I love eating chinese in back alleys. I love milkshakes. I love Fuse. I love whispering "I love you" in someones ear. I love hearing it back. I love making peoples days. I love when sean and i beat each other up. I love making fun of homo wells. I love heart to hearts. I love hanging out with Brendon's mom! I love my sweet 16 on MTV. I love when guys are confident enough to tell me they like me. I love arrogance. I love the combuster guys. I love the way you love me best.
Im sick. this sucks. Green tea love.
Andy milinokas is a funny show. I dont care what you think.
~Mini