Is Also Great And Would Suffice (Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Patience)

[theswearingkind]

Author: theswearingkind
Fandom: Bandom - Fall Out Boy RPS
Characters/Pairing: Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump
Prompt: Patience
Word Count: 2,560
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: not real; also, not mine - basic plot belongs to Annie Proulx, whose magnificent short story inspired the magnificent film.
Author's Notes: Written for the peterickfics Movie Marathon Challenge - my film was

Comments

[theswearingkind]

thank you!

[theswearingkind]

thank you! bbm was my first slash fandom, too.

[theswearingkind]

thank you! what a lovely comment. <3

[theswearingkind]

really captured the feel of the film and book

thank you very much. <3

[xmexandxyoux]

*pouts*
This was excellent, except one thing.
I'm not trying to say that I'd be able to write a several-thousand word fic based on Brokeback Mountain, especially with the language they used 'back then', but it seemed that every ten paragrpahs or so you would slip up, like, you'd use the proper english and then slip up with a slang phrase used nowadays.
*cringes*
Sorry, trying to be constructive.

"but he privately thought that the way patrick’s voice wrapped comfortably around the vowels and stretched the consonants into long, messy lines big as the sky over them was something approaching miraculous. "
That line was absolutely beautiful.

[theswearingkind]

there's no need to cringe! con-crit is welcome!

i struggled a lot with the diction of this piece, so i'm certainly not surprised that it didn't quite work for you. i re-read the novella while i was writing this, and i was surprised to find that, even though the characters use really colloquial speech and ideas, the narrative sentences and background phrasing are really quite proper. it threw me a bit, and i think it definitely shows in the writing.

that was my favorite line, actually! i'm glad you picked up on it.

thanks for reading!