Why, yes, I should be doing something else.

[7empress7]

I had a longtime friend tell me the other day that I always seemed reserved, even with her. I guess I'm just too serious most of the time. I don't remember to keep in touch. I forget about a lot of people (like my family). I keep the lights off in my mind and stumble around in there, hoping important facts, deadlines, commitments, etc. will occur

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[afterf0rever]

It's too bad you don't post here anymore.

[7empress7]

I'm glad this post meant something to you last year. I haven't improved much, although two years of depression threw me an unfamiliar curve that tested my mettle somewhat. I'm going to India tomorrow with my father and his girlfriend and still haven't told my mother, even though she's my emergency contact. She has transcended any selflessness I could ever achieve by taking care of her own mother, my last remaining grandparent, who has left behind all the pain and responsibility of her lucid life and returned to the sweetness of childhood. Estrangement has been good in a way for both of us. I feel like a secondary character in my own story (hers is much more worthy of the telling) and am hoping that India will mercilessly force me to come to some realizations about my own identity. Being an effervescent, charming, helpful Southern lady means putting myself in a box, and that's mind-death for the individual. Unfortunately, the strict aversion to putting OTHER people in boxes is probably the thing that puts me in most danger, but it's a