Whoops. I think I just ranted. :D
The following text was in response to an irate email I got through from some bint who's over on the Y!A Adoption board telling everyone how wonderful she is for "giving her child up to a better life."
I'll give you her email to me first, but under the cut. My answer is something I don't feel like hiding.
Subject: Approach
Message: Why do you think bully-ing girls is accetable? The slut that keeps the adoption agency running? Better to get an abortion than adopt? Alot harsh don't you think?
You can voice your opinion without blatantly offending people. Its just disrespectful....
Think about it. You don't have to change your opinion but you can change your approach. I don't think all adoptions are good by any means and always listen to all sides of the debate, but when you approach it like an attack no one is going to take what you have to say seriously. Human nature is attack = defensive.
My reply:
You're right, I can change my approach, but I won't.
You might be happy at knowing you've abandoned your kid, but I was that kid 37 years ago, and I'll scream it as loud as necessary that I got hurt by adoption.
If *I* can get hurt by adoption, even though I grew up in the ideal upper working class family with no divorce, no abuse, and no real big fallings out, and with more love than you can imagine, then anyone can get hurt by adoption.
I don't care whether people like the message I'm delivering or not. Nor do I care whether people like the way I deliver it.
I AM HURTING. I am hurting NOW!
I am hurting now *because* I *was* /abandoned/ to adoption.
I'm a mom, and can not understand how ANYONE could abandon their kid.
I can understand how contact can drift, but I can't comprehend how anyone who's made the decision to not have an abortion, can instead then palm their kid off on the nearest person that they can get away with palming it off on to, just because they can't be arsed to do the rest.
When you've made the decision that you're not gonna abort the child you're carrying, then you're implicitly agreeing to take on the responsibility for that child - which means looking after it yourself because only YOU can provide the love that that kid *needs*.
Anyone else is just a stop-gap until you can get your mom back, no matter kind and warm and loving and caring and giving those other people may be. THEY ARE NOT YOU!
I'll give you her email to me first, but under the cut. My answer is something I don't feel like hiding.
Subject: Approach
Message: Why do you think bully-ing girls is accetable? The slut that keeps the adoption agency running? Better to get an abortion than adopt? Alot harsh don't you think?
You can voice your opinion without blatantly offending people. Its just disrespectful....
Think about it. You don't have to change your opinion but you can change your approach. I don't think all adoptions are good by any means and always listen to all sides of the debate, but when you approach it like an attack no one is going to take what you have to say seriously. Human nature is attack = defensive.
My reply:
You're right, I can change my approach, but I won't.
You might be happy at knowing you've abandoned your kid, but I was that kid 37 years ago, and I'll scream it as loud as necessary that I got hurt by adoption.
If *I* can get hurt by adoption, even though I grew up in the ideal upper working class family with no divorce, no abuse, and no real big fallings out, and with more love than you can imagine, then anyone can get hurt by adoption.
I don't care whether people like the message I'm delivering or not. Nor do I care whether people like the way I deliver it.
I AM HURTING. I am hurting NOW!
I am hurting now *because* I *was* /abandoned/ to adoption.
I'm a mom, and can not understand how ANYONE could abandon their kid.
I can understand how contact can drift, but I can't comprehend how anyone who's made the decision to not have an abortion, can instead then palm their kid off on the nearest person that they can get away with palming it off on to, just because they can't be arsed to do the rest.
When you've made the decision that you're not gonna abort the child you're carrying, then you're implicitly agreeing to take on the responsibility for that child - which means looking after it yourself because only YOU can provide the love that that kid *needs*.
Anyone else is just a stop-gap until you can get your mom back, no matter kind and warm and loving and caring and giving those other people may be. THEY ARE NOT YOU!