Just Say No To Potter
Having slept off the exhaustion of the hell I went through last night, I can now give a blurred report of my first Potter Experience.
Julia and I arrived at work about fifteen to six and waited in the break room for the rest of the overnight staff. It wasn't long until Mike arrived in full Harry regalia, and immediately told us not to say a thing about it. XD I thought he looked adorable, especially once he put the glasses on. Talk about spitting image. TJ convinced him they'd hired him solely for that night, or as he put it, "We figured we'd hire you on for seasonal work, then offer you part time.." all with his trademark snarky half-smile. It was good seeing TJ again; I never close with him anymore. He called my get-up 'sex kitten/ Potter in drag". Pictures of that once I gank them from the digicam. I told Mike I'd dressed up so he wouldn't feel as weird, to which he thanked me. It was that and the fact I'd missed Halloween, nevermind I always love an excuse to wear my kitty tail and ears.
But I digress.
Admittedly, a lot of stuff is a huge blur, so I'll just be remembering some highlights of my evening. I can't speak for the booksellers' side, but I can tell you that the cafe was jumping from 9PM-midnight. That line never seemed to shorten, it just kept going and going and going, etc. It started out with just me and Chris as Libs had gone on a well-deserved break and it was slow at first. We spent much of the first two hours cleaning (Libs, love the girl, but she seems to loathe doing dishes so they pile up) before they started trickling in. I knew the night was starting the second I saw a barefoot little boy running around like a cat on crack. It was a nightmare as far as children were concerned. Their parents, fine, I could ignore them. I could even ignore the Valley Girl-talking preteens who oogled Mike (OMG! HE'S HARRY POTTER!!!111ONEONEONE!!!1 You'd love to think I was kidding, wouldn't you?) and the teenaged brats who sat in front of the break room door. But the kids. THE KIDS.
My first really bad kid experience came in the form of a butch-looking little girl who couldn't have been more than eight. I was on register while Chris and Libs did drinks and food. This little girl comes up in a black boys' wifebeater (girl tanktops don't have the 'hovering' sleeves boys' tops do), hair pulled back so severely one would think it was a crewcut, and asked me for a cappucino and a mochacino. I looked at her dead on and asked if it was for an adult. She said no in a very snotty way. Chris came over to see what I needed, sees the orders, sees the kid ordering them, and mutters to me, 'I am not serving kids cappucino. It's just not something I do.' and looks down at the girl and bluntly asks her if she really wants one since they're gross. Girl gets snottier. So we shrug, take her money, and the damn register decides to crap out on me. TJ fixed it, but it was really annoying at the time. I think some paper got jammed or something.
Anyway, line moves on (more on the bratty bull dyke in training soon; she didn't leave quietly, oh no) and I come up against another smartass kid who obviously didn't comprehend the existance of food tax. Yes, tubby dirt child, even your precious chocolate frog has tax on it so STFU with the snotty mathematics blather. I'm serious, this fuckin' waste of skin cells was rattling off the numbers in such a tone that I actually allowed my annoyance to show. His mother must've seen him giving me a hard time and hurried to my rescue. Yes, ma'am, your should've-been-an-abortion was charged food tax. Take him away from my line NOW before I turn him into soap. kthnxbuyyourfuckinbookanddie
Had another troupe of unruly chilluns come through right after Math 'Tard, all a-screamin' for whatever it was they wanted. It started out with them SCREAMING for cake and this is when they were further down the line! I blame the headache I'm still dealing with entirely on them. Their keeper (prolly some foster moo of a sort or a harried charity worker, couldn't tell, I just know she was a bitch) was ready to dropkick the smallest kid who was screaming about getting her candy NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNWOMGGONDIEWITHOUTIT! I had to ask people to repeat their orders to me if they ordered from Chris beforehand and yes, a lot of people got snotty with me about it. STFU. Get your overpriced shit and get out of my line. And when I say move down the line, I mean MOVE YOUR ASS DOWN THE FUCKIN' LINE. Your drinks will not be magically produced out of my malfunctioning ass so move. down. the. line. kthnxgetcaffeinepoisoninganddie
My break rolled around at about 11:30 and I fled like hell was on my heels. And frankly, it was. When I left, the cafe had at least five people in it: Chris, Deb, Sarah, Angela, and me. I've never seen so many in there at once. It was madness, but we did do a good job of it. Anyway, I hurry my betailed ass into the break room, nudging past the steadily-growing herd by the door, and collapsed into a chair. Julia, Suzanne, and Shawn were in there enjoying their breaks as well so I started talking with them. After a time, Mike came in as well, followed by Deb who told us about the whipped cream lady and her paranoid son.
Turned out that this woman had ordered a small hot coco, but at the time of the order, only a medium was available so Deb graciously charges the woman for a small and gives her the medium. At first, she's nice about it, but once her son sees the whipped cream (kinda default for hot coco), he FREAKS. Seriously freaks. His mother apologetically asked Deb to remake it, which Angela did, but again, somehow whipped cream got on it. Now the MOTHER freaks and I quote:
'*loooooooud sound of disbelief, followed by drooping shoulders and slackjawed expression* OMG, you've GOT to be KIDDING ME!!!!!'
I think Deb just about hurled a pen into this woman's eye. GM or not, Deb still behaves very much like a normal employee and wishes death openly on the bad customers. Which is why she rocks. She asked if the son was allergic to dairy, but nope, the kid just hated whipped cream for some reason. At that point Deb was like 'You're an idiot. Just take it off.' Much <3 for teh Deb.
After that story, she joked about making a sign that said LEAVE NOW and slipping it under the door where the kids were gathered. I wrote up the sign, but I was too afraid of the reprecussions to actually push it all the way through. XD;; If it had been after the books had been handed out, maybe, but yeah, we still have a good half-hour left to go. Yeah, I suck, I know. XD I think that sign will remain there forever. ^^
Libs came in a little after I got on break and told me more about the cappucino kid. The very adult order had confused her as well so when they were ready, she was looking for an adult to give it to. The girl sighs haughtily and says they're her's. Now, Libs is a practicing nanny and while she loves children, she's not so blind as to believe all of them are angels. It was clear this girl was anything but an angel. Hell's Angel, maybe, but definately not the cuddly cherub variety. I don't rightly remember the bulk of the story (my mind was quite dead by this time), but eventually Libs had to get a bit short with the girl when she continued to exhibit bratty tendancies. If I ever see that kid again, she's getting the backhand. I don't care what she does or doesn't do. She's getting slapped by default.
Since the books were slated to be handed out at midnight, the cafe died down rapidly and we were able to clean up. I took great delight in telling people we were closed (and to the idiot lady who HEARD ME say that were closed, NO, you cannot get a fuckin' bottle of water; go to Quik Chek or 7-11 for it, we're closed!). The cafe was, of course, a complete and total sty so I set about collecting dirty blender pitchers and other assorted washables. Chris tackled the dishes while me and Angela did the front. It took us sooooo looooong to finish. In the end, Joyce was ordering Chris to stop cleaning so we could go home. No wonder it takes him so damn long to close; he's so anal! XD We got out of there at about 2:30AM. Julia and I stayed awake for about 45 minutes, then crashed hard.
I have no idea why I'm awake right now. My head still hurts, but hopefully that'll go away. I know I have to get more driving in today. Gods, driving test on Monday. *crosses fingers and toes* Be that piece of good fortune after a week of hell, please! I'd so be happy with that. Soooo happy.
And that's that. I demand 'I Survived Harry Potter' t-shirts now.