#Fic# Unable to respond //Chapter 10//
Title: Unable to respond /chapter 10/
Pairing: Akame
Author: tanakakoki_fan
Rating: PG (for now)
Genre: Angst, romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own them!
Summary: (Uhh I suck at summaries… ^^”) Kame is closed in his own world… he can feel he can hear, but can’t respond. Will Jin’s love give him the light to live on?
AN: I don’t have beta, I am sorry if my grammar is wrong or if I mispell something. Feel free to correct me! =)
The song in this fic: Hamasaki Ayumi - Rainy day
Jin was sitting in front of his computer as he typed a new lyric. He felt somewhat blank and sad. If one reads the words, it could be immediately told that the one who wrote the song was grieving and held a lot of sorrow inside. The sound of the typing echoed as if they were little raindrops tapping the window, falling silently and indeed, as Jin lifted his gaze he saw no rays of the sun. He knew he should keep on hope that everything will be alright, but he didn’t always feel himself that strong.
He had to appear normal at work, he didn’t want to worry others and of course he didn’t want to seem weak. But acting every day that he is fine was more than exhausting and somehow he doubted he succeeded in making everyone believe his act.
The grayness of the sky and endless heavy clouds matched his mood totally. He reached out, pulling the curtain aside and rested his head against the cold glass looking down at the street. He saw how people were running to find shelter because of the rain that suddenly started to fall but he then noticed a girl, standing alone at the edge of the street motionless. Jin just watched her, wondering what makes her stand there in the cold rain, shivering under the umbrella and looking around. She is surely waiting for someone. Maybe she is waiting for her lover to come?
Long minutes passed by and Jin started to feel sorry for the girl. The streets got empty, but she just kept standing there even when the rain started to fell harder and the wind blew, she was soon struggling to hold the umbrella.
Such a small thing… Being able to hold the umbrella without any effort was so easy and before the wind had started to blow noone could have thought that such an effortless task can become difficult to fulfill. People can never be sure in anything. Jin was so sure Kazuya will always be there at work when the morning comes, always being able to keep their hide and seek dance for forever. People notice how important something or someone is when a tragedy happens and they stay alone, left with memories and many times…regrets.
Jin recognized himself in the girl. At all her struggling, but how neither of them give up hope, no matter what storm life might bring. Because yes… Jin decided he won’t give up. He had wonderful friends and he had Kazuya, maybe never as a lover, but he still had faith the other will wake up and be his friend…it doesn’t matter anymore if his feelings remained one-sided, the only thing that mattered to him was Kazuya’s health. Thinking of the girl the thing Yamapi told about Chinami somehow made sense. Or was just his desperation that made sense to it? He was so grateful to Yamapi. The man was always there whatever problem he had.
Jin layed more onto the glass, the window seemed as if it was crying thousand tears as raindrops were flowing down leaving a tiny river which disappeared quickly. Jin touched the glass with his fingers and trailed the path of a drop’s flow. Lower and lower…till it disappeared because it became one with another raindrop. Even the drops can become one… Even they are not lonely… why can’t he be one with the one he loves? He knew he was not lonely with Yamapi and the others by his side, but he couldn’t help feeling alone at times. He missed Kazuya so badly, he felt himself like he was dead, so empty inside. Without Kazuya he couldn’t really live. He found he had no purpose in life. Who cares for the fans who scream for him every day? Everything is so superficial.
Everyone noticed he had changed, and he saw more and more worried looks that greeted him every time, every day. He couldn’t even make normal conversations with his bandmates and couldn’t concentrate on his work. He always knew KAT-TUN has strong friendship but it really showed in this kind of situation. The others helped him in everything and Jin knew they were worried for Kazuya too, but on top of that they had energy to bear with his emotional self.
Jin looked at the girl still standing there but saw a guy hurrying to her and takes her into his arms, letting the umbrella fall onto the pavement as the two young lovers kissed, hands around each other, not caring the rain pouring onto them.
How nice… Jin tought as he continued to watch the couple. For that girl it was worth to wait. The light through the clouds for her had arrived. She could be in the warm arms of her lover, feeling the happiness she recieved from the boy and they walked away laughing hand in hand, picking the umbrella up.
The street was completely empty now… empty..blank…lonely… as Jin’s self. He felt he is fading away day by day, the old Akanishi Jin he was is closed and become less and less visible every day. He started to be just a shell of his old self. Who was more closed? Kazuya who couldn’t react to the happenings around him, or Jin who lived his life as if he was not living at all.
Will his love come to his arms the same way that happened to the girl? Will he be happy if he is waiting patiently not giving up hope?
Jin gazed at the sky outside the window and felt a teardrop slide down his face. Will Kazuya be in the hospital still, laying in coma when the rain turns into snow? Or when the snow turns into sakura petals? Or gold-colored leaves afterwards? The life was like a flower after all. Fragile and every day one of the many petals fall from it. Some are carried away in the wind, those are the sad days. And some are caught by a warm hand, those are the days of happiness and love.
When will his petal be caught by Kazuya’s warm hand? He was so afraid that day won’t ever come.
**
Kazuya was laying in silence despite the beeping of the machines. He could hear the rain is falling and the drops hit the window. The Kazuya in the box sat silently, legs embraced to his chest and he stared in front of him. Soon he closed his eyes and rested his head on his knees. What was Jin doing now? Where was he?
He imagined he is standing in the rain, waiting for Jin to arrive, holding nothing, letting the pouring rain fall onto his skin, knowing Jin will dry them away later, knowing he will be wrapped in Jin’s warmth later and it will dry the cold drops of water.
Why was he not brave enough to confess Jin his feelings? If he did, he could have been wrapped into Jin’s strong arms, being loved and kissed by the man of his desire… and maybe this accident would never happen. Or it had to happen no matter what? Maybe they needed it to see how life is without the other and by this their bond could grow stronger…or fall apart. Why was he so coward? He regretted it very much.
He saw himself walking with heavy steps closer to Jin’s house, not being able to wait more, listening the raindrops falling, forming a familiar soft melody… but he could never get to the house. His steps froze, he didn’t dare to go closer, and didn’t really know the reason of it. He stopped and looked at the house, at the window, with yearing eyes and he sweared he could see Jin for a fleeting second, sitting in the window and see his sad and blank expression. Why was Jin so sad? Why is he crying? And most importantly… this is an illusion isn’t it? For several seconds Kazuya could really feel the cold rain on his skin and as he began to sing a song without even realizing it, he saw Jin turns his head looking at him in shock. Why is he so surprised?
Kazuya just kept singing, feeling he is being pulled away at every second by an unknown force, but the words of the melody remained.
„It was a cold day
I kept on waiting
Just for you
In the hard rain
I was afraid of nothing
I could even think
That even if it was the last day of my life
I didn't care
People who were
Happily smiling together
Passed just close to me
So many times
But I was smiling
More gently than anyone else
Standing alone
Without an umbrella”
~Jin…~
At the next second he could hear the beeping of the machines around him again, and he felt so sleepy. As if he had walked a thousand miles. What was the thing that happened right now? He felt Jin in his heart, it was warm all over in his body and he felt he is beginning to feel better as he slowly drifted off to sleep.
**
Yamapi entered into the apartment silently. He didn’t want to make much noise, he was as silent as he could be. He thought maybe Jin is sleeping or resting and he didn’t want to disturb. He slipped out of his shoes and walked into the living room. He found Jin sitting on he windowsill and as he approached the older boy and wanted to greet him, his voice died in his throath just seeing the expression Jin was looking at him.
The A of KAT-TUN looked at him totally shocked and surprised, his eyes widen. Yamapi had never seen such expression on the face of his friend before.
„What happened Jin?”
„Kazuya…” Jin whispered.
„K..Kazuya?” Yamapi asked, as he wrinkled his eyebrows worriedly. Had Jin gone totally nuts? His expression was kind of enough reason to make the NewS leader worry more.
„I saw Kazuya, he… he stood there and… he sang a song…oh God…!!” Jin stood up suddenly and still in daze from the shock he rushed to the door past Yamapi.
„Hey Jin, where are you going? You are sick you think I haven’t noticed? You should stay in bed!” Yamapi shouted with a worried tone of voice but it was futile, Jin didn’t seem to hear him at this state.
„Oi Jin!!” Yamapi rushed out after him.
**
Rushing foosteps could be heared as the two friend were running along the corridor of the hospital. Some nurses shout „you are not allowed to run at the corridors” after them but they didn’t care. Jin’s heart pounded in his chest. Is it possible that Kazuya had woken up and came to his house just standing there? But then why didn’t he go into the house? Why was he singing such a sad song? Thousands of questions ran through Jin’s mind and he didn’t care of his growing headache again. He caught a cold several days ago and the fact he stopped eating properly caused it to worsen, but Jin didn’t even told it to the others. It was not serious, and with medicines he found at home, pain killers and antibiotics it should just go away sooner or later.
Tomoko was on her way to Kame’s room when he noticed the two friend running quickly towards the room. She wondered what had happened.
’Hmm… it seems they haven’t read the newspaper yet.’ she thought and she couldn’t wait the opportunity to show she is the only one who truly cares for Jin. At least this was what he wanted Jin to believe.
„O..Ohayou!” she greeted the two boys but even if Jin heared it he didn’t react, he dashed into Kazuya’s room at record speed. His chest fell and rose at the unsteady rhythm of his breathings and heartbeat, but his face fell. He hoped so much that it was real what he saw. Does his mind playing tricks with him again? Has he really gone nuts that much? He looked at the ground with heavy breaths. He was more than disappointed. That was the time Yamapi reached his side and looked at him sadly.
„Jin?”
Jin didn’t answer, he just couldn’t. How many more times will he allow his hopes to rise for nothing? It was the most bitter feeling in the world when you face the fact your hope was in vain.
Yamapi walked to Kazuya’s bed and now it was his turn to be shocked and looking at Jin with wide eyes.
„What?” Jin looked at him questioningly, he was really not in the mood for Yamapi to play teasing.
„Jin… his clothes are wet… as if he really stood outside the rain.” Pi was at a loss of words and so was Jin.
Tomoko just watched them and didn’t understand what was going on, but as she saw how Jin was running to Kazuya’s side, kneeling next to the bed and taking Kazuya’s hand in his, she knew it was not as she had planned the happenings.
„Kazuya? Kazuya! You hear me right? You were there right? I don’t know how but you were! Open your eyes, come on, open them! And don’t dare to sing such a sad song again! You really meant it? All the words it contained? You are waiting for me? Kazuya!!”
The Kazuya in the box suddenly came into his senses and he had to smile as he opened his eyes, feeling the familiar warmth in his hand.
~Jin?~
„Please… tell me it was not just my imaginaion. What you sang… I want to hear it again. Please. Open your eyes!” Jin buried his face into their joined hands. Pi felt as if his heart was clenched in fists. If he should deciede who is suffering more, Jin or Kazuya, he definitely would choose Jin. How all of them missed the old cute baka who could make everyone laughs. Now Jin was only just a shadow of his old self and if it continues like this he was afraid Jin will never return to it again.
„I beg you…” Jin whispered, trying to hold his tears inside.
~Imagination? Song? What are you talking about love?~ Kazuya couldn’t really understand but all that mattered to him that Jin is there. He didn’t know what had happened to the other to behave so close to him again, but he was more than glad. Maybe Jin realized his so called girlfriend was a liar?
„It was a cold day…..I kept on waiting…Just for you” Jin had to sniffle as he began singing. „In the hard rain. I was afraid of nothing…I could even think,..That even if it was the last day of my life…I didn't care…”
Jin was singing and the eyes of the Kazuya int he box went wide.
~What?? You heared it? It was not an illusion? Did my message really reached you? Jin! I am so happy! Yes, I am waiting for you. Only just for you.~ Kazuya wondered what caused that Jin could notice him now. What had he done other way that caused Jin to hear him? No matter how he tried to realize what it was he just couldn’t. Maybe Jin was thinking of him? Or his feelings? Maybe their bond is really strong. Stronger than all the lies and conspiration. And whatever made itt hat strong again, Kazuya was grateful to it.
~Stronger…it is stronger than lies ne Jin? Our bond cannot be destroyed!...Ne Jin?~
Kazuya knew he had no need to the machines from now on. He felt so alive. It was until he heared the nurse spoke.
„Erm… Excuse me, did you read today’s newspaper?” she asked.
„No, not yet.” Yamapi replied. Newspaper? ’How the heck did this topic came here?’ he questioned in himself.
Jin couldn’t seem to hear the question, he was too lost in his little world to concentrate everything else than Kazuya.
„I think you should read it.” Tomoko handed Yamapi a newspaper and studied his face. As she had thought, Yamapi’s expression was soon revealed a great amount of shock.
„Oh God….” he looked at the girl and then at Jin, who finally tore his eyes off of Kame and looked at Pi.
„What’s wrong?” he watched with raised eyebrows as Yamapi, now as pale as never, handed him the newspaper.
„But… sit down first.” he suggested.
„Why?” he shook his head. What had gotten into Yamapi? Then he paled when he began to read. The title „Kamenashi Kazuya in coma caused by his bandmate Akanishi Jin??” enough was shocking… not to mention the whole article. Jin’s leg gave in under him and he collapsed onto the nearby chair.
~Jin? What’s wrong?~ Kazuya in the box started to worry as there was silence, even he could feel the tension. Something really bad could be int hat newspaper which rendered all the people in hte room speechless.
Jin read what the article contained, but he decided not to read it out loud. His hands trembled as he read the lines.
’The news considered Johnny’s entertainment’s famous idol Kamenashi Kazuya (KAT-TUN, 22) being abroad seemed to be fake. Someone who asked not to mention name, told and gave evidence that Kamenashi is lying in hospital in coma for more month now. The coma was result of an accident caused by Akanishi Jin (24), Kamenashi’s bandmate. Johnny’s Entertainment denied this, but the photos are evidence that it is true. Kamenashi Kazuya is taken care by his girlfriend W. Chinami at the hospital.’
Several photos of Chinami and the lying Kazuya were included in the articel and to JE’s dismay the photos were taken from a point where it can clearly be seen: it is really Kame.
Jin was more than shocked, he didn’t know what to do, so he just sat there silently, trying to digest what happened. He felt angry, sad and so helpless. It was in the newspaper. But how?? Noone knew what exactly happened. And it was written it is his fault…and everyone will think he deliberately caused an accident… Kazuya’s parents, his brothers, the others… Wait… noone knew this just…
Jin looked at Pi in disbelief. Pi noticed it and he looked at Jin seriously.
„No Jin, I was not the one who informed the media. You really think I could do it to my best friend??”
~Informed the media??~ Kazuya was panicked. ~About what? Oh God... no, tell me it is not written there that I have a girlfriend. Tell me!! Jin? Jin! Say something.~ Kazuya was really started to be desperate.
„I… I don’t know what to say..I… who else knew the details Pi??? Who fucking else??” Jin snapped angrily and stood up, tossing the newspaper into Pi’s chest.
„I talked about it only to you… I can’t believe this…” Jin was at the edge of tears, he felt so angry and betrayed, but some part of him couldn’t believe this is happening. Yamapi was his best riend, he trusted him with his life. And Yamapi was almost all the time by his side. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t be, it couldn’t...!
„I don’t know it either, but it was not me. I could never do this to you.” Yamapi stayed calm and looked into Jin’s eyes.
Tomoko just watched the boys and listened to their conversation. It was just her luck that she got to know what caused the accident, one of her friends was at the bar and she told her everything afterwards.
’So, of course Akanishi would think Yamashita is the only one that knew. But i know too~! Okay now, comforting plan starts!’
„Whatever!” Jin ran out of the room and Tomoko ran after him immediately. Yamapi sighed deeply. Who is the person behind all of this? Some hater? A person that wants to destroy them? He believed in Jin. He knew him. Jin just had to cool down a little and so he will think normally and he will realize Yamapi could never betray him.
„Akanishi-san, i am so sorry, I wish I could help. Do you need anything?” Tomoko asked the man who just stopped walking when he heared her voice.
„If it means something I don’t believe you caused this accident, you are not that kind of person who could do something like that I know.” she tired in her most kind voice.
„Thanks.” Jin muttered and proceeded to walk.
„It is so sad that a person can’t even trust his best friend. But I am here, I would never betray you like Yamashita-san did, he is a traitor, but I..”
„Don’t talk bad about Pi.” Jin shot a sideglance with a cold stare and disappeared into the elevator.
Tomoko stayed there a little hurt. Why does her plan not work like it should? ’Why does Akanishi trust Yamashita even after a thing like this??’ She felt pissed, angry, but she miled evilly. ’No problem, I can improvise. Next plan starts soon, watch out pretty boy.’ She thought.
Back in the room Kazuya was more than desperate.
~Pi? What happened? Damn, say something!~ Kazuya felt he will go crazy. And the voice he heared next only made him feel more at the edge.
„Love!! I saw the newspaper!!” Chinami stormed in, almost pushing Pi out of the way and immediately grabbed Kazuya’s hand.
~Great…~ the Kazuya int he box roled his eyes annoyed. ~I so hoped you will never show up again.~ So, Kazuya once again realized miracles didn’t really happen. It felt horrible, Cjhinami was never his type of girl anyway and if he wanted to be honest with himself he had to acknowledge that he had always been in love with Jin since they met. He only flirted with girls to see Jin’s reaction and was kind of disappointed when Jin were clder and colder after every girl he flirted with. He was so fool he never noticed it was because of jealousity that Jin behaved in that way.
„I will go now.” Pi excused himself and turned to leave. He really couldn’t stand this girl, she had a reckless aura surrounding her which made the air almost vibrate with frustration. He was about to close the door behind him when he heared what Chinami said next.
„It is such a shame Akanishi-san is betrayed by Yamashita-san! But oh I would have never thought Akanishi-san caused the accident!”
Pi’s eyes went wide. ’Wait… just wait. How does this girl know Jin told me everything? This is more than suspicious.’ He was sure something is not alright here and he will find out what it is. With a determined expression Yamapi went outside of the building, heading towards his car.
~Pardon..what???~ Kazuya gaped at the nonsense, he didn’t really know which lie shocked him more.
~Betrayed?? Never! It must be some misunderstanding, Pi could never do that!~ Kazuya was sure about it. He couldn’t really stand Pi before they filmed Nobuta together and even after that there was this unspoken spark between them. Kazuya realized it is jealousity and from his side. Yamapi and Jin were so close and he was sure there is nothing more between them as friendship but this kind of friendship the two boys shared was something special and Kazuya sometimes thought it is even more than love. He so wanted to have such a bond with Jin. He thought he did…did he? Does he? And… will he? He realized how much Jin cares for him, how much he loves him and it made him kind of relieved. Yamapi never did any bad and no matter how jealous Kazuya was at him sometime he knew Yamapi could never betray Jin.
„I love you so much Kazuya! I know you will love me too when you wake up!” the girl grabbed his hand more which kind of hurt.
~You won’t! Never!~ Kazuya felt sad beyond belief as all the words sank into him. ~It was not Jin’s fault! He didn’t cause the accident!! I saved him, he didn’t ask me to! He was as shocked about my actions as you all.~ tearsdrops fell onto the dark floor of the box as Kazuya cried silently.
~I don’t want Jin to be blamed. He is not fault, he is not!~ Since when did days become nightmares? Since the girl came… But how many more nightmares do they have to live through? Kazuya was sure that the girls planned something, that they were the one behind this all article thing. He looke through them.
~Jin please…notice it. Don’t be so naive, notice how evil they are.~ Kazuya sobbed.
**
Yamapi found Jin sittin gin the car, cellphone in his hand, a tired and blank expression on his face as he just stared in front of him. Yamapi got into the car too and touched his shoulder.
„Sorry Pi…” Jin said with broken voice. Pi pulled him into a brief hug.
„No need to Jin.” As Pi looked at his best friend he felt desperate. He wanted to help Jin so badly. But he didn’t know how. All he could do just being by his side.
„I know you didn’t betray me… I don’t know who did it but you could never do it.” Jin whispered and closed his eyes a second to regain his composure.
„I could never. It is true.” he looked at the phone Jin was grabbing and he knew his friend was figthing not to cry. Pi was worried, did he had a call from someone who told something bad? Jin was exhausted and sick, he should rest. Even a harmless cold can turn into more if the heart of the person was hurt. He sweared he will watch the so called girlfriend closely and whatever she is in, Pi will detect her. She was not fully innocent in this but he knew he should stay silent until he had evidence.
„Pi…please take care of Kazuya.” Jin’s silent, sorrowful voice made Pi look at him worried.
„Oi Bakanishi what are you saying? Don’t you plan to die man!” Pi teased and watched as Jin look away.
„Jin? What happened?”
„Kazuya’s parents called me.” Jin said as a teardrop glided down his face.
„What?” Pi looked at him more worried.
„They told me never to go near their son again. I am not allowed to visit him anymore.” He sighed.
Back at Kazuya’s room a petal fell from a rose Jin brought a week ago. A red petal… as if it had cired..red blood tears.
***
TBC
AN: The song is „Rainy days” from Hamasaki Ayumi. I totally love that song, it is so sad but beautiful. Sorry that it is so deressed still, I kind of felt as depresed as Jin does in this fic. ^^”””” Eh nevermind. And really sorry my English sucks so much T___T
Free counters
Pairing: Akame
Author: tanakakoki_fan
Rating: PG (for now)
Genre: Angst, romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own them!
Summary: (Uhh I suck at summaries… ^^”) Kame is closed in his own world… he can feel he can hear, but can’t respond. Will Jin’s love give him the light to live on?
AN: I don’t have beta, I am sorry if my grammar is wrong or if I mispell something. Feel free to correct me! =)
The song in this fic: Hamasaki Ayumi - Rainy day
Jin was sitting in front of his computer as he typed a new lyric. He felt somewhat blank and sad. If one reads the words, it could be immediately told that the one who wrote the song was grieving and held a lot of sorrow inside. The sound of the typing echoed as if they were little raindrops tapping the window, falling silently and indeed, as Jin lifted his gaze he saw no rays of the sun. He knew he should keep on hope that everything will be alright, but he didn’t always feel himself that strong.
He had to appear normal at work, he didn’t want to worry others and of course he didn’t want to seem weak. But acting every day that he is fine was more than exhausting and somehow he doubted he succeeded in making everyone believe his act.
The grayness of the sky and endless heavy clouds matched his mood totally. He reached out, pulling the curtain aside and rested his head against the cold glass looking down at the street. He saw how people were running to find shelter because of the rain that suddenly started to fall but he then noticed a girl, standing alone at the edge of the street motionless. Jin just watched her, wondering what makes her stand there in the cold rain, shivering under the umbrella and looking around. She is surely waiting for someone. Maybe she is waiting for her lover to come?
Long minutes passed by and Jin started to feel sorry for the girl. The streets got empty, but she just kept standing there even when the rain started to fell harder and the wind blew, she was soon struggling to hold the umbrella.
Such a small thing… Being able to hold the umbrella without any effort was so easy and before the wind had started to blow noone could have thought that such an effortless task can become difficult to fulfill. People can never be sure in anything. Jin was so sure Kazuya will always be there at work when the morning comes, always being able to keep their hide and seek dance for forever. People notice how important something or someone is when a tragedy happens and they stay alone, left with memories and many times…regrets.
Jin recognized himself in the girl. At all her struggling, but how neither of them give up hope, no matter what storm life might bring. Because yes… Jin decided he won’t give up. He had wonderful friends and he had Kazuya, maybe never as a lover, but he still had faith the other will wake up and be his friend…it doesn’t matter anymore if his feelings remained one-sided, the only thing that mattered to him was Kazuya’s health. Thinking of the girl the thing Yamapi told about Chinami somehow made sense. Or was just his desperation that made sense to it? He was so grateful to Yamapi. The man was always there whatever problem he had.
Jin layed more onto the glass, the window seemed as if it was crying thousand tears as raindrops were flowing down leaving a tiny river which disappeared quickly. Jin touched the glass with his fingers and trailed the path of a drop’s flow. Lower and lower…till it disappeared because it became one with another raindrop. Even the drops can become one… Even they are not lonely… why can’t he be one with the one he loves? He knew he was not lonely with Yamapi and the others by his side, but he couldn’t help feeling alone at times. He missed Kazuya so badly, he felt himself like he was dead, so empty inside. Without Kazuya he couldn’t really live. He found he had no purpose in life. Who cares for the fans who scream for him every day? Everything is so superficial.
Everyone noticed he had changed, and he saw more and more worried looks that greeted him every time, every day. He couldn’t even make normal conversations with his bandmates and couldn’t concentrate on his work. He always knew KAT-TUN has strong friendship but it really showed in this kind of situation. The others helped him in everything and Jin knew they were worried for Kazuya too, but on top of that they had energy to bear with his emotional self.
Jin looked at the girl still standing there but saw a guy hurrying to her and takes her into his arms, letting the umbrella fall onto the pavement as the two young lovers kissed, hands around each other, not caring the rain pouring onto them.
How nice… Jin tought as he continued to watch the couple. For that girl it was worth to wait. The light through the clouds for her had arrived. She could be in the warm arms of her lover, feeling the happiness she recieved from the boy and they walked away laughing hand in hand, picking the umbrella up.
The street was completely empty now… empty..blank…lonely… as Jin’s self. He felt he is fading away day by day, the old Akanishi Jin he was is closed and become less and less visible every day. He started to be just a shell of his old self. Who was more closed? Kazuya who couldn’t react to the happenings around him, or Jin who lived his life as if he was not living at all.
Will his love come to his arms the same way that happened to the girl? Will he be happy if he is waiting patiently not giving up hope?
Jin gazed at the sky outside the window and felt a teardrop slide down his face. Will Kazuya be in the hospital still, laying in coma when the rain turns into snow? Or when the snow turns into sakura petals? Or gold-colored leaves afterwards? The life was like a flower after all. Fragile and every day one of the many petals fall from it. Some are carried away in the wind, those are the sad days. And some are caught by a warm hand, those are the days of happiness and love.
When will his petal be caught by Kazuya’s warm hand? He was so afraid that day won’t ever come.
**
Kazuya was laying in silence despite the beeping of the machines. He could hear the rain is falling and the drops hit the window. The Kazuya in the box sat silently, legs embraced to his chest and he stared in front of him. Soon he closed his eyes and rested his head on his knees. What was Jin doing now? Where was he?
He imagined he is standing in the rain, waiting for Jin to arrive, holding nothing, letting the pouring rain fall onto his skin, knowing Jin will dry them away later, knowing he will be wrapped in Jin’s warmth later and it will dry the cold drops of water.
Why was he not brave enough to confess Jin his feelings? If he did, he could have been wrapped into Jin’s strong arms, being loved and kissed by the man of his desire… and maybe this accident would never happen. Or it had to happen no matter what? Maybe they needed it to see how life is without the other and by this their bond could grow stronger…or fall apart. Why was he so coward? He regretted it very much.
He saw himself walking with heavy steps closer to Jin’s house, not being able to wait more, listening the raindrops falling, forming a familiar soft melody… but he could never get to the house. His steps froze, he didn’t dare to go closer, and didn’t really know the reason of it. He stopped and looked at the house, at the window, with yearing eyes and he sweared he could see Jin for a fleeting second, sitting in the window and see his sad and blank expression. Why was Jin so sad? Why is he crying? And most importantly… this is an illusion isn’t it? For several seconds Kazuya could really feel the cold rain on his skin and as he began to sing a song without even realizing it, he saw Jin turns his head looking at him in shock. Why is he so surprised?
Kazuya just kept singing, feeling he is being pulled away at every second by an unknown force, but the words of the melody remained.
„It was a cold day
I kept on waiting
Just for you
In the hard rain
I was afraid of nothing
I could even think
That even if it was the last day of my life
I didn't care
People who were
Happily smiling together
Passed just close to me
So many times
But I was smiling
More gently than anyone else
Standing alone
Without an umbrella”
~Jin…~
At the next second he could hear the beeping of the machines around him again, and he felt so sleepy. As if he had walked a thousand miles. What was the thing that happened right now? He felt Jin in his heart, it was warm all over in his body and he felt he is beginning to feel better as he slowly drifted off to sleep.
**
Yamapi entered into the apartment silently. He didn’t want to make much noise, he was as silent as he could be. He thought maybe Jin is sleeping or resting and he didn’t want to disturb. He slipped out of his shoes and walked into the living room. He found Jin sitting on he windowsill and as he approached the older boy and wanted to greet him, his voice died in his throath just seeing the expression Jin was looking at him.
The A of KAT-TUN looked at him totally shocked and surprised, his eyes widen. Yamapi had never seen such expression on the face of his friend before.
„What happened Jin?”
„Kazuya…” Jin whispered.
„K..Kazuya?” Yamapi asked, as he wrinkled his eyebrows worriedly. Had Jin gone totally nuts? His expression was kind of enough reason to make the NewS leader worry more.
„I saw Kazuya, he… he stood there and… he sang a song…oh God…!!” Jin stood up suddenly and still in daze from the shock he rushed to the door past Yamapi.
„Hey Jin, where are you going? You are sick you think I haven’t noticed? You should stay in bed!” Yamapi shouted with a worried tone of voice but it was futile, Jin didn’t seem to hear him at this state.
„Oi Jin!!” Yamapi rushed out after him.
**
Rushing foosteps could be heared as the two friend were running along the corridor of the hospital. Some nurses shout „you are not allowed to run at the corridors” after them but they didn’t care. Jin’s heart pounded in his chest. Is it possible that Kazuya had woken up and came to his house just standing there? But then why didn’t he go into the house? Why was he singing such a sad song? Thousands of questions ran through Jin’s mind and he didn’t care of his growing headache again. He caught a cold several days ago and the fact he stopped eating properly caused it to worsen, but Jin didn’t even told it to the others. It was not serious, and with medicines he found at home, pain killers and antibiotics it should just go away sooner or later.
Tomoko was on her way to Kame’s room when he noticed the two friend running quickly towards the room. She wondered what had happened.
’Hmm… it seems they haven’t read the newspaper yet.’ she thought and she couldn’t wait the opportunity to show she is the only one who truly cares for Jin. At least this was what he wanted Jin to believe.
„O..Ohayou!” she greeted the two boys but even if Jin heared it he didn’t react, he dashed into Kazuya’s room at record speed. His chest fell and rose at the unsteady rhythm of his breathings and heartbeat, but his face fell. He hoped so much that it was real what he saw. Does his mind playing tricks with him again? Has he really gone nuts that much? He looked at the ground with heavy breaths. He was more than disappointed. That was the time Yamapi reached his side and looked at him sadly.
„Jin?”
Jin didn’t answer, he just couldn’t. How many more times will he allow his hopes to rise for nothing? It was the most bitter feeling in the world when you face the fact your hope was in vain.
Yamapi walked to Kazuya’s bed and now it was his turn to be shocked and looking at Jin with wide eyes.
„What?” Jin looked at him questioningly, he was really not in the mood for Yamapi to play teasing.
„Jin… his clothes are wet… as if he really stood outside the rain.” Pi was at a loss of words and so was Jin.
Tomoko just watched them and didn’t understand what was going on, but as she saw how Jin was running to Kazuya’s side, kneeling next to the bed and taking Kazuya’s hand in his, she knew it was not as she had planned the happenings.
„Kazuya? Kazuya! You hear me right? You were there right? I don’t know how but you were! Open your eyes, come on, open them! And don’t dare to sing such a sad song again! You really meant it? All the words it contained? You are waiting for me? Kazuya!!”
The Kazuya in the box suddenly came into his senses and he had to smile as he opened his eyes, feeling the familiar warmth in his hand.
~Jin?~
„Please… tell me it was not just my imaginaion. What you sang… I want to hear it again. Please. Open your eyes!” Jin buried his face into their joined hands. Pi felt as if his heart was clenched in fists. If he should deciede who is suffering more, Jin or Kazuya, he definitely would choose Jin. How all of them missed the old cute baka who could make everyone laughs. Now Jin was only just a shadow of his old self and if it continues like this he was afraid Jin will never return to it again.
„I beg you…” Jin whispered, trying to hold his tears inside.
~Imagination? Song? What are you talking about love?~ Kazuya couldn’t really understand but all that mattered to him that Jin is there. He didn’t know what had happened to the other to behave so close to him again, but he was more than glad. Maybe Jin realized his so called girlfriend was a liar?
„It was a cold day…..I kept on waiting…Just for you” Jin had to sniffle as he began singing. „In the hard rain. I was afraid of nothing…I could even think,..That even if it was the last day of my life…I didn't care…”
Jin was singing and the eyes of the Kazuya int he box went wide.
~What?? You heared it? It was not an illusion? Did my message really reached you? Jin! I am so happy! Yes, I am waiting for you. Only just for you.~ Kazuya wondered what caused that Jin could notice him now. What had he done other way that caused Jin to hear him? No matter how he tried to realize what it was he just couldn’t. Maybe Jin was thinking of him? Or his feelings? Maybe their bond is really strong. Stronger than all the lies and conspiration. And whatever made itt hat strong again, Kazuya was grateful to it.
~Stronger…it is stronger than lies ne Jin? Our bond cannot be destroyed!...Ne Jin?~
Kazuya knew he had no need to the machines from now on. He felt so alive. It was until he heared the nurse spoke.
„Erm… Excuse me, did you read today’s newspaper?” she asked.
„No, not yet.” Yamapi replied. Newspaper? ’How the heck did this topic came here?’ he questioned in himself.
Jin couldn’t seem to hear the question, he was too lost in his little world to concentrate everything else than Kazuya.
„I think you should read it.” Tomoko handed Yamapi a newspaper and studied his face. As she had thought, Yamapi’s expression was soon revealed a great amount of shock.
„Oh God….” he looked at the girl and then at Jin, who finally tore his eyes off of Kame and looked at Pi.
„What’s wrong?” he watched with raised eyebrows as Yamapi, now as pale as never, handed him the newspaper.
„But… sit down first.” he suggested.
„Why?” he shook his head. What had gotten into Yamapi? Then he paled when he began to read. The title „Kamenashi Kazuya in coma caused by his bandmate Akanishi Jin??” enough was shocking… not to mention the whole article. Jin’s leg gave in under him and he collapsed onto the nearby chair.
~Jin? What’s wrong?~ Kazuya in the box started to worry as there was silence, even he could feel the tension. Something really bad could be int hat newspaper which rendered all the people in hte room speechless.
Jin read what the article contained, but he decided not to read it out loud. His hands trembled as he read the lines.
’The news considered Johnny’s entertainment’s famous idol Kamenashi Kazuya (KAT-TUN, 22) being abroad seemed to be fake. Someone who asked not to mention name, told and gave evidence that Kamenashi is lying in hospital in coma for more month now. The coma was result of an accident caused by Akanishi Jin (24), Kamenashi’s bandmate. Johnny’s Entertainment denied this, but the photos are evidence that it is true. Kamenashi Kazuya is taken care by his girlfriend W. Chinami at the hospital.’
Several photos of Chinami and the lying Kazuya were included in the articel and to JE’s dismay the photos were taken from a point where it can clearly be seen: it is really Kame.
Jin was more than shocked, he didn’t know what to do, so he just sat there silently, trying to digest what happened. He felt angry, sad and so helpless. It was in the newspaper. But how?? Noone knew what exactly happened. And it was written it is his fault…and everyone will think he deliberately caused an accident… Kazuya’s parents, his brothers, the others… Wait… noone knew this just…
Jin looked at Pi in disbelief. Pi noticed it and he looked at Jin seriously.
„No Jin, I was not the one who informed the media. You really think I could do it to my best friend??”
~Informed the media??~ Kazuya was panicked. ~About what? Oh God... no, tell me it is not written there that I have a girlfriend. Tell me!! Jin? Jin! Say something.~ Kazuya was really started to be desperate.
„I… I don’t know what to say..I… who else knew the details Pi??? Who fucking else??” Jin snapped angrily and stood up, tossing the newspaper into Pi’s chest.
„I talked about it only to you… I can’t believe this…” Jin was at the edge of tears, he felt so angry and betrayed, but some part of him couldn’t believe this is happening. Yamapi was his best riend, he trusted him with his life. And Yamapi was almost all the time by his side. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t be, it couldn’t...!
„I don’t know it either, but it was not me. I could never do this to you.” Yamapi stayed calm and looked into Jin’s eyes.
Tomoko just watched the boys and listened to their conversation. It was just her luck that she got to know what caused the accident, one of her friends was at the bar and she told her everything afterwards.
’So, of course Akanishi would think Yamashita is the only one that knew. But i know too~! Okay now, comforting plan starts!’
„Whatever!” Jin ran out of the room and Tomoko ran after him immediately. Yamapi sighed deeply. Who is the person behind all of this? Some hater? A person that wants to destroy them? He believed in Jin. He knew him. Jin just had to cool down a little and so he will think normally and he will realize Yamapi could never betray him.
„Akanishi-san, i am so sorry, I wish I could help. Do you need anything?” Tomoko asked the man who just stopped walking when he heared her voice.
„If it means something I don’t believe you caused this accident, you are not that kind of person who could do something like that I know.” she tired in her most kind voice.
„Thanks.” Jin muttered and proceeded to walk.
„It is so sad that a person can’t even trust his best friend. But I am here, I would never betray you like Yamashita-san did, he is a traitor, but I..”
„Don’t talk bad about Pi.” Jin shot a sideglance with a cold stare and disappeared into the elevator.
Tomoko stayed there a little hurt. Why does her plan not work like it should? ’Why does Akanishi trust Yamashita even after a thing like this??’ She felt pissed, angry, but she miled evilly. ’No problem, I can improvise. Next plan starts soon, watch out pretty boy.’ She thought.
Back in the room Kazuya was more than desperate.
~Pi? What happened? Damn, say something!~ Kazuya felt he will go crazy. And the voice he heared next only made him feel more at the edge.
„Love!! I saw the newspaper!!” Chinami stormed in, almost pushing Pi out of the way and immediately grabbed Kazuya’s hand.
~Great…~ the Kazuya int he box roled his eyes annoyed. ~I so hoped you will never show up again.~ So, Kazuya once again realized miracles didn’t really happen. It felt horrible, Cjhinami was never his type of girl anyway and if he wanted to be honest with himself he had to acknowledge that he had always been in love with Jin since they met. He only flirted with girls to see Jin’s reaction and was kind of disappointed when Jin were clder and colder after every girl he flirted with. He was so fool he never noticed it was because of jealousity that Jin behaved in that way.
„I will go now.” Pi excused himself and turned to leave. He really couldn’t stand this girl, she had a reckless aura surrounding her which made the air almost vibrate with frustration. He was about to close the door behind him when he heared what Chinami said next.
„It is such a shame Akanishi-san is betrayed by Yamashita-san! But oh I would have never thought Akanishi-san caused the accident!”
Pi’s eyes went wide. ’Wait… just wait. How does this girl know Jin told me everything? This is more than suspicious.’ He was sure something is not alright here and he will find out what it is. With a determined expression Yamapi went outside of the building, heading towards his car.
~Pardon..what???~ Kazuya gaped at the nonsense, he didn’t really know which lie shocked him more.
~Betrayed?? Never! It must be some misunderstanding, Pi could never do that!~ Kazuya was sure about it. He couldn’t really stand Pi before they filmed Nobuta together and even after that there was this unspoken spark between them. Kazuya realized it is jealousity and from his side. Yamapi and Jin were so close and he was sure there is nothing more between them as friendship but this kind of friendship the two boys shared was something special and Kazuya sometimes thought it is even more than love. He so wanted to have such a bond with Jin. He thought he did…did he? Does he? And… will he? He realized how much Jin cares for him, how much he loves him and it made him kind of relieved. Yamapi never did any bad and no matter how jealous Kazuya was at him sometime he knew Yamapi could never betray Jin.
„I love you so much Kazuya! I know you will love me too when you wake up!” the girl grabbed his hand more which kind of hurt.
~You won’t! Never!~ Kazuya felt sad beyond belief as all the words sank into him. ~It was not Jin’s fault! He didn’t cause the accident!! I saved him, he didn’t ask me to! He was as shocked about my actions as you all.~ tearsdrops fell onto the dark floor of the box as Kazuya cried silently.
~I don’t want Jin to be blamed. He is not fault, he is not!~ Since when did days become nightmares? Since the girl came… But how many more nightmares do they have to live through? Kazuya was sure that the girls planned something, that they were the one behind this all article thing. He looke through them.
~Jin please…notice it. Don’t be so naive, notice how evil they are.~ Kazuya sobbed.
**
Yamapi found Jin sittin gin the car, cellphone in his hand, a tired and blank expression on his face as he just stared in front of him. Yamapi got into the car too and touched his shoulder.
„Sorry Pi…” Jin said with broken voice. Pi pulled him into a brief hug.
„No need to Jin.” As Pi looked at his best friend he felt desperate. He wanted to help Jin so badly. But he didn’t know how. All he could do just being by his side.
„I know you didn’t betray me… I don’t know who did it but you could never do it.” Jin whispered and closed his eyes a second to regain his composure.
„I could never. It is true.” he looked at the phone Jin was grabbing and he knew his friend was figthing not to cry. Pi was worried, did he had a call from someone who told something bad? Jin was exhausted and sick, he should rest. Even a harmless cold can turn into more if the heart of the person was hurt. He sweared he will watch the so called girlfriend closely and whatever she is in, Pi will detect her. She was not fully innocent in this but he knew he should stay silent until he had evidence.
„Pi…please take care of Kazuya.” Jin’s silent, sorrowful voice made Pi look at him worried.
„Oi Bakanishi what are you saying? Don’t you plan to die man!” Pi teased and watched as Jin look away.
„Jin? What happened?”
„Kazuya’s parents called me.” Jin said as a teardrop glided down his face.
„What?” Pi looked at him more worried.
„They told me never to go near their son again. I am not allowed to visit him anymore.” He sighed.
Back at Kazuya’s room a petal fell from a rose Jin brought a week ago. A red petal… as if it had cired..red blood tears.
***
TBC
AN: The song is „Rainy days” from Hamasaki Ayumi. I totally love that song, it is so sad but beautiful. Sorry that it is so deressed still, I kind of felt as depresed as Jin does in this fic. ^^”””” Eh nevermind. And really sorry my English sucks so much T___T
Free counters