#Fic# Call me anytime //Chapter 4//
Title: Call me anytime //Chapter 4//
Author: theblackheat & tanakakoki_fan
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: NC-17
Warning: BETAed version soon
Summary: Jin is a famous solo artist, working on his new album. Kame is a young man working in more part time jobs gaining money for his poor family. They don't know each other, but their life crosses by a lucky chance.
AN: This is kind of AU fanfiction. Not the AU you are used to, coz Jin is almost the same as in real.
This is our collaboration and this time it is not in the format of POV fic. Do you like it better?
Banner by theblackheat
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3
☆UPDATE★
The club was filled with people, heat and loud music. Dazzling trails of light swept the dance floor and shone on the face of the dancing people who were moving their bodies to the rhythm. The popular hit song seemed to be played never ending by the DJ who mixed it here and there. No one recognized the gloomy face in the VIP corner. The man sat there and shipped his beer staring at the dancing mass, but he was lost in his thoughts totally.
'What the fuck did I do?' this question circled in Akanishi's mind over and over. He got to know a stranger guy on the phone. Though they haven't met they got pretty close, but in the last moment Jin backed off. Telling his own name was not difficult for him. In other cases when it was about a girl - or more girls - who he met at a place like this in the usually way drunk and ready to a one-nightstand, he didn't care about telling his name and even his phone number. It was like an American Express card, a key into the sexy panties. But this case was different.
Jin liked Kazu-chan enough not to shit on him and lie something. Although he started this whole thing with a big lie. 'Nah Fernandez, be a man and face it!' He has to think out something now, something to get out of this well. Telling his real name will cause changes between them, he was pretty sure, and thought about that outcome bitterly. But lying was the other thing he would do unwillingly. Everything was going so well until Kazu-chan asked him. Why did he has to ask that? Was it not good as it was? Was it not enough? Why did it has to be so complicated?
"Agggrrr... !" he rubbed his head irritated and got rid of his umpteenth vodka shot.
"Something bothers you man. I've been watching that gloomy face of yours since you've stepped into this club." his friend, Ben lent closer and shouted into his ear through the loud music. That was not the right place to talk, but Ben couldn't just watch his friend's struggling any longer. It was after midnight and was hours ago when they had their first glass of alcohol. The line of the sexy babes decreased after they got that Jin won't pay attention to any of them tonight. It looked serious, that much Ben was able to figure out while keeping an eye on his buddy. Now he patted Jin's shoulder and pulled him along with him "C'mon man, smoking time~"
There were still people outside the building but only a few on a cold night like this. Ben and Jin were allowed to cross the borders of staff and customers. They headed to the backdoor and took place on the cold stairs. Ben lit a cigarette just as Jin did and took a long ship before he started the conversation.
"Spit out already!"
"What?"
"What you have in your fucking mind!"
"What?"
"I DON'T know WHAT! What keeps you busy not even dance or look at a girl for a moment, neither to speak with me, or any of the guys. I watched you and I know you've done nothing but sat there and have been lost in your thoughts for more than three hours. I got bored of observing you from the other corner. Whatever bothers you tell me. You can lean on me. We are friends, am I right?"
"We are..." Jin's low voice was heard under his hoody that hid his eyes. He took long ships from his cigarette, that glowed up by every drag and burned another centimetre from his fag.
"... and?"
"... and what?"
Ben lost his temper and wrapped his arm around Akanishi's hoody keeping him in a tight hug forcefully.
"Spit it ooooout jeggaaaaaa~"
"Wa... let me... agggrrr... B... Beeeeeen... you..."
"C'mon buddy~ 'cause It will just harm you inside~ c'mooon~"
"Fuck... let... meeee..aaggrrrr..."
Jin struggled against the unwanted hug and tried to push his friend further without any effects. After he gave up the fight he sighed and tried in an other way.
"Look if you keep my head down longer I will really throw up, gotcha?"
"First, promise you will talk!" Ben was determined to pull out of Jin whatever it is and even he has to do it against Jin's will.
"Okay man! Just let me..." as soon as Ben's muscles relaxed and the hold got loose Jin was able to pull his head out of the hug. ”... chee ... fuck you!” He was pissed at his friend but agreed on that talking was needed, before his head explodes from thinking so long.
Ben lit his next cigarette and blew the smoke out while leaning to the barrier behind him.
"I'm all ears."
Jin's mind still rushed on what had happened by the last phone call. That put a heavy feeling on him and it got heavier and heavier as time went on. Finally his inner self overcame and he let his bothering thoughts flood out.
"Yeah, I got to know someone. I know it sounds ridiculous but he is working by a call center... so... it's a hotline actually." he stopped for a short time and looked into his friend's eyes, who was concentrating on his cigarette while recalling what he heard.
"Hotline? Where did you find that guy?... and when?" Ben was amazed and a little shocked.
"I've just called it."
"... and you met? You wanted sex from him or... ?"
"No. You're misunderstanding me man. I haven't met him... yet. Well, that's the problem. I called him a few times and we talked a lot and I somehow get to like him."
"What the... You called a SEXLINE?" Ben burst out and grabbed Jin's shoulder to shake him. "You are tired of the sexy babes? I don't understand you man, you could have sex 24/7 ... I mean real sex, not phone-sex. You can have boys if you ... are you sure you want to do that? I mean I'm not against gays but... whatever. I just don't get it why do you call a hotline to talk to someone? Why did you call that line anyway?"
"I just... I don't know I had the feeling to do that."
"... and he wants to meet now. Of course he wants, you are Akansihi after all."
"That's it, he doesn't know. I gave a fake name."
"Thank you God! There is still a working brain cell in his head, I doubt that would be possible." Ben acted dramatically and lifted his arms to the dark sky.
"Shut up you motherfucker! You think I'm that stupid?" Jin pulled his head further from his friend who tried to kiss the top of it in happiness.
"Who knows? Having a crush on a gay-hotline guy is not that wise idea, am I right?"
"What the fuck is this preaching?"
"At last I don't lie to the babes. They know what they can get from me. I won't marry them or something, we just ... have fun." the man explained his situation comparing to Jin's.
"Whatever... I like to talk to him. He is like... he doesn't see the Akanishi Jin in me, you know what I say?"
"Ha-ha but he will, as soon as you meet him."
"Fucking yeah! That’s my fucking problem. I hate this. I want to meet him or know more, but if he gets to know that I'm Akanishi Jin he will change, and me too. I don't want this change. I fucking don't want that!"
"Take it easy man!" Ben hugged Jin's shoulder again to calm the yelling man. "Then just stay in your fake character, use your time and have fun on the phone."
”Maybe, I should do that.”
”I tell you man, you shouldn’t pounder on that little thing. Have fun and let the time to solve it.” Ben patted his friend’s shoulder and pulled him into the direction of the club where they disappeared again in the mass of the clubbing people. This small talking pushed Jin over his struggling and after they were back he started to switch over and had fun with the girls in the VIP section.
*****
It was just unbelievable. One day passed and no matter how Kame was waiting, Fernandez didn't call him back. From the time the other hung the phone up the day before, Kazuya was living in a kind of shock state. He didn't understand anything anymore. How could all what they had, break down because of a simple question like that? Kame was positive he had the right to ask and he didn't regret it. He was thinking about it quite long and the common sense said, if someone wants themselves to be trusted or named a friend they should be at least as honest to tell the real name.
Why was it so hard for Fernandez to tell? The previous night Kame was hoping he will call him back even on that night, that he didn't was disappointing, but the young man still said to himself that next day he will call for sure.
But nothing... His shift was to end in 5 minutes and no sign of Fernandez.
Kazuya started to be angry and was getting more disappointed. He had to sigh. How stupid he was, he trusted him. The things Fernandez said, the way they talked for so long, the fact he apologized to him. How can a person pretend to be another person this much? Tho Fernandez didn't promise him anything. He didn't say he loved him, they were just talking and most of the time it was sex anyway. It was maybe Kame's fault to expect more from this...friendship. Friendship? Nah... it wasn't even that. He can't call someone a friend no matter how kind he was, if he wasn't even keen on telling his real name.
But one thing bugged him. He told so many things about himself to the other boy and he seemed to be interested. He got positive comments, it was obvious Fernandez wanted his trust. He managed it, he broke the walls down, Kame told him everything and the man even pretended to believe him. This...will be hard to forgive. Was he just played with? This mysterious man enjoys to build trust and destroy people like that?
First Kame was thinking maybe he had a good reason for not calling, but then he just shook it off. He was being naive again, trying to convince himself fairy tales existed. No. They didn't. No matter in what a person escapes to, no matter if he actually makes himself believe life was a fairy tale with great happy endings, it was a lie. A self-assuration. Illusion of happiness of course everyone can create...with sex, drugs, alcohol... what Fernandez did too. Was he that lonely? Or did he have that much trouble in life?
Kame was partly angry of being betrayed, partly sad. He couldn't hate the man but couldn't forgive him either. Maybe he found a chick who can satisfy him enough or just going clubbing every night with his buddies. Was he even alive? Kame really hoped he didn't die because of drug overdose.
***
Ben was pissed even more after 2 weeks. He promised himself that he will take care of Jin, before that baka makes something stupid. After their serious talk he was somewhat relieved. Jin seemed to be returned to his former behavior, to parties and girls. Ben accompanied him always, but after not being able to sleep much at nights in a row he got fed up with nursing the other man’s ass. When he thought about ’take it easy’ he didn’t mean that. Jin went too far by being drunk and he even let the paparazzes to take photos about him while having fun with some chiks.
Jin seemed to not care anymore about anything. But under his happy mask Ben was able to see the pouting child who was too stubborn to show his own pain. He knew him enough to see what Jin did was pure stubborness and fake acting. He tried to talk to the other man but without result. Ben even tried to protest against going out if Jin refuses talking, but failed. The desperate man was not to stop anymore.
Ben talked to some close friends what to do now. He wanted to stop his friend. After Jin got rid of him on the phone he got determined to kick some sense into that baka-head. Pissed off because of the news he just got from one of his bartender buddy about Akanishi on mails, he took his jacket and called his helper.
”Hi! Is he there?... Thanks. I’m on the way, keep him there!” Ben cut the line and caught the first taxi to rush to the place where Jin was seen right now. He was angy enough to kick that idiot home.
*****
Kame couldn't deny he had hopes at the first days. Thoughts against Fernandez were mixing with excuses for the boy. Yes, the first week it was like this, but not anymore. Now he felt totally betrayed and was even thinking to quit this job. He didn't need this. Now he absolutely couldn't trust anyone. Two weeks of no call from Fernandez showed him the cruel reality. The man was apparently a liar and someone who just acted to pay attention because he was bored and needed something new beside chicks. He did it pretty good so maybe Fernandez was a famous actor even.
It was a nice dream while it lasted, but it hurt so very much. Why did it hurt so much?? Kame was afraid to admit to himself, he developed feelings for the boy. For the boy Fernandez was pretended to be. But the young man had to realize... he was chasing a non-existing person.
The only thing which really kept him alive was Akanishi Jin's CD which he was listening to now everytime he had free time even in street while going to work. He couldn't explain why tho, but he felt somewhat sad lately, hearing the voice of the man. It made him remember Fernandez so much.
"I am so crazy..." Kazuya shook his head after a long day he went home. He put his bag onto the chair and saw Yuuichirou and Kouji in the kitchen, just sitting at the table with worried faces. Why weren't they asleep? It was past 2 o'clock. Fear spiraled in Kame's stomach as he saw expressions of his brothers he has never seen before.
"What's wrong?" He asked with wavering voice and as soon as the kids saw him they ran to him and Kouji grabbed the arm of his shirt.
"Kazu, do something! Yuuya doesn't answer, he doesn't want to eat, he is in his room and is very weird...and crying. Please do something!" The teenager said and Kame didn't even bother to take his jacket off, he ran upstairs as fast as he could. He was so worried and the view that greeted him made his eyes wide in more worry.
On the bed, his little brother lay. His cheeks were red, he was breathing in a weird way, half crying and sweat covered his face.
"God, Yuuya..." Kame touched the forehead of the boy with trembling hand and gasped. It was very hot. Obviously he had high fever. Kame forgot everything else that minute, running to the cupboard where he kept medicines.
"Kouji, please bring water!"
"Yuuichirou, you bring a napkin." He was not even sane for a minute, he was so worried of his brother. He had only seen their mother in this state before she died. No, Yuuya can't die. You are so stupid Kazuya, why are you thinking of the worst?? He scolded himself while he helped his brothers gather the things they need to make the child feel better.
Hours passed, Yuuya seemed to get a little better, but his fever didn't go down, so Kame decided to call the doctor. Going home to this was really something unexpected and really didn't help him to get better... the opposite. He had more and more things to worry about while Fernandez was surely partying with his chicks. He was really angry, worried and desperate. When the doctor arrived and examined the boy, he said he will take Yuuya into hospital for a few days to keep an eye on him. Whatever happens, if the child is in the hospital they can help him faster. However, he tried to calm Kame down that it was nothing serious, there is a virus these days among children and he might caught it at the school, but a week rest and he will be completely fine again.
Kame was torn on what to do. Keeping company to Yuuya to the way to hospital, staying at home with the other kids or take them along. It was already very late, the kids had school the next day and he had to work too. But one glance of Yuuya's scared face was enough to smile at him and accompany him to the hospital. Koji and Yuuichirou stayed at home and tried hard to sleep as they promised to Kazuya.
Kame was sitting at the side of the hospital bed, watching how Yuuya fell asleep. His fever was decreasing and he seemed to got pretty tired from all the suffering. The young man felt himself the same exhausted. When he was sure the boy is tight asleep he silently exited the room and decided to go home. The traffic was terrible, there was some accident on the road and Kame found himself in the middle of a long car-line.
"Great...." He muttered and sighed. It was past 6 o'clock when he finally reached home, wishing something good to happen, but instead it came something he didn't expect. Next to his house was a kiosk, which opened at 6 and you could buy various kind of newspapers and magazines there. In Japan, when there is a hot topic or tabloid they always put the headline with big letters onto the wall of the kiosk and the headline today caught Kame's attention, and the picture added to it.
"Akanishi Jin with his girlfriends, party scandal"
On the picture there was Jin with several blond women hanging from his arms, one of them hugged him from behind. He was grinning madly and had tequila shot in his hand, seeming deadly drunk.
Kame made a disgusted face. No, his heart didn't break into pieces, he just got annoyed. Akanishi was this kind of guy too then? Same as Fernandez. Chicks, alcohol. Disgusting lifestyle. Nice day... he faced the cruel reality of the idol who he thought was normal. But... he still couldn't believe Akanishi was this kind of person. Someone who could write such deep songs and perform in such a way his heart is clenched in fists can't be this bastard.
But well, Kame didn't know what to believe about people anymore. The same way he misunderstood Fernandez, he might misunderstood Akanishi too. They never met anyway, how could he know the real Jin?
Please God, at least let me have faith in HIM. Kame whispered and sighed. It will be definitely one of his shittest day in life. Why did everything turn out this way? If there is one misery why does it have to be followed by a lot? He felt miserable, but he knew he had to stay strong. Another day of taking the kids to school, going to his workplaces and... answer calls from stranger fuckers.
***
Jin was suddenly pulled up from the VIP box and pushed through the crowd. He was deep drunk as always and couldn’t protest against the rough treatment. Outside the club the fresh air cleared his mind somewhat and he searched for the bastartd who tugged him out of the building forcefully. He felt dizzy but litfed his head and looked at his friends eyes.
”B-ben?”
”Yes, it’s me, finally. Why the hell don’t you pick up your phone idiot?”
”I was... b-busy...”
”With the pusies? I’ve SEEN it! What the fuck are you doing???”
”... taking... e-easy...”
”Easy? Just shut up and sit into the car!” Ben yelled at the swaing man and pushed him into the waiting taxi.
When finaly they reached Jins apartmen the rough treatment continued. Akanishi stumbled in his own shoes and fell onto the floor in the hallway.
”Wha... fuck...” he swore and hugged his knee in pain.
”Jesus Christ!” Ben made a face and pulled his drunk friend up. ”Pull yourself together man!”
”It’s... uhh... not your b-bussines...” Jin pushed the worrying man further, but the other was stronger not not let him go.
”You are wrong my friend, it is my problem too.”
”J-just let me hang already.”
”I won’t let you do this longer, gotcha?” Ben’s grip on the two side tightened and shook the protesting man. He had to fight to keep the other between his hands, while that struggled harder and harder, when suddenly one of Jin’s hand got freed and hit Ben’s cheek. The punch made him back off and for a moment he let his grip ease.
Jin used the moment and brushed the hands off of him.
”I’m home, so you can leave me. I don’t need your pity.”
”Pity? PITY?” Ben grabbed the other mans T-shirt and punched the handsome face. ”The only one who has pity on is you on yourself. Yes, you are to be pitied. What is this shit you’re doing? Get yourself together.”
”It’s not your bussi...”
„Aggrrr... I’m fed up with this ’it’s not your bussines’ shit. If you say it again...” Bens voice became warning.
”IT’S NOT your FUCKING bussineeee... aauuuhh” Jin couldn’t finish his sentence when Ben tugged his clothes and pulled him along until they reached the bathrom and the protesting man landed in the bathtube under the cold shower. It made him sober quickly and stood up wet from head to toe.
”After your head is clear change your clothes and take your phone. I can’t watch you making this pouting face longer. Call that guy and let’s get over it.”
”What is that changing?”
”May it’s a fucking stupid idea, but if it helps, talk to him. You don’t have to meet, or do anything. Just call him and talk a little.” Ben threw a towel to Jin, placed his friend’s mobil onto the counter and turned to the door. ”I’ll make you coffe until that.” with this he left the room leaving an uncertian Akanishi behind.
Then minutes passed and Jin still stared at his phone while sat on the rim of the tube. The waterdrops glistened in his hair while his heart beated faster. For a long time he was the first time chicken. What should he do? What should he say? ... What will Kazu-chan say if he appears all of sudden? May he will have a lot of questions. Is it better to pass them or answare... some of them at all. Maybe he is just a big idiot sitting there wet while the other guy even forgot his name... nickname. Is it even worth to call anyway?
”Hurry, hurry! your coffe is getting cold Bakanishi!” Ben was heard behind him who placed the cup next to Jin and lifted his hand what held the mobilephone. ”Do you remember the number?”
”...un” even if it hadn’t been saved he would knew it. ”Would you... ”
”I’m waiting out, take your time.”
”Thanks man.”
It was almost audible but Ben could hear from the door and smiled without turning back. If it helps he would kick Jin’s ass again and again until he learns. You can count on me Baka.
"Hello here is Kazu-chan speaking, tell me your phantasies, I will fulfill them all." Kazuya said in his usual sexy tone, being able to act as if he was interested.
Jin searched for his voice to sound natural like he always does, easy going and somewhat arrogant, but it was hard to find that voice again. "Hi there..."
Kame's heart stopped for a fleeting second and it was hard not to gasp. Feelings filled him by hearing this voice, and they most likely were companions of anger. "Hello, so what phantasies you have to be fulfilled?" He answered a little coldly, as if the man was a total stranger.
"Hi,... Kazu-chan is there?"He waited for like eternity before he got the answer.
"Yes, I am Kazu-chan. What can I do for you? Do you want me to lay down onto my back, looking into your eyes sexily?" He totally ignored the question in him: why did you call me? He went on as if the man was a stranger.
"I... it's... me, Fernandez" Jin hoped his idiot nick name was unique enough to remember.
"Oh what a weird name. You are not Japanese?" He chuckled, still going on with his game, feeling angry and betrayed. "So...I am already on my back...and wearing nothing..ahnn"
Akanishi's face was hit by the fact that his oh so cool name disappeared in the shadow of the past. He really doesn't remember, or just doesn't want to remember. "We talked already. Don't you remember?"
"Oh really? Well, there is so many boy with the real name Fernandez, who are you?" He couldn’t stop himself from being a little emotional in voice.
Jin got a little pissed that he was JUST a name in the row. "I'm THAT Fernandez who called you a lot, and not cause of your tempting voice... cause of... cause I liked to talk to you. Ring the bells?"
This really made something in Kazuya to explode. Fernandez is the one being angry?? "Oh...the one who didn’t know what a hotline is for?"
"I know it!" throw Jin back pouting. "It was written I will call you. I still don't want sex from you. You are not that kind today anyway" he sniffed his nose like a defiant little kid.
What is this? Just how old is this man? This pissed Kame more up. He pretends to act cute as if nothing happened? "Want to talk to me? It is your only luck it is workplace so I can’t hang up. You really wanted to talk to me ne... all these weeks you didn’t call. What? You are bored of drinking again?"
Jin's eyebrow frowned; This little thing plays with him. Kazu-chan knew him, he really knew who he is. "Aha! You almost feed me you don't know. I was busy... with ... busy , cause I'm a busy man... and didn't have time to chitchat."
"Look...I don’t know why you call this line but can't you call it when someone else is in shift?" He sighed. What does this man really want?
"I wanted to talk to you. as I told you I d.o.n.'t w.a.n.t h.o.t.l.i.n.e.s.e.x" he spelled the last line articulately.
"I understand even if you talk normally, thank you." Damn you. Kame thought. This man really has ego...he really...he messes him up so much. "It is my fault I believed you are interested in me as a person, it is maybe not even reasonable why I feel hurt, I expected too much of it." He said into the phone but as a matter of factly, not in a sappy voice.
"I was...and still am. But it's difficult.. for me." Jin sighed he didn't know how to tell the man what's his problem.
"Why is it so difficult? Look...maybe I am narrow-minded too much, but I can't consider a man a friend who after I ask the real name of, hangs up on me and not calling for weeks." He sighed defeated. Shit, he promised himself he won’t be weak.
"It’s not the name that matters. But..the trust. We talked a lot and I don't see the reason why you can't tell me a name I don't know for sure."
"Yes, I did it wrong. I was... I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lie to you, but.. " his long fingers brushed into his dark locks what were still a little wet. He sighed again trying to brush that heavy feeling from himself. But all of his struggling he couldn't continue so easily like before that last call. "Look, couldn't it stay like before you asked it? You said just before, it's only a name."
"You don't get it, do you?" now Kame was mad at himself. He even...expected to meet... But like this? "Can I be...honest to you?"
"Of course!"
“I...thought we somehow...became friends. You are the first one who behaved like this with me on phone and in my everyday life, it is rare too. I don't really have friends, but you know this." He stopped, and knew he will regret being so open again. "I thought...we might...can even...meet one day. But like this... it is just an illusion. I began to get attached to a person who I can never even know the real name..."
Jin felt the hurt in the other man's voice, and his guilt stabbed his chest like a sharp knife. " Sorry, I didn't mean that. I didn't want to hurt you that much. I was... I have my reasons."
"Okay, I get it. But well... you really have much money if you have this much time to speak here..." Kame was more disappointed. It would have even been better if he was not called at all. "I don’t promise anything but I try to be as I was. I have hard days nowdays with a lot of trouble. Now hang up please. If you still want to talk, you can call back tomorrow, I try to be as I always was."
“Why why? What happened?” Jin tried to keep the conversation on.
“My brother is very sick and is in hospital, I am worried of him.” Kazuya sighed. “He had high fever and now the doctors keep an eye on him. But really…please. Hang up now.” Speaking about things that worried him, it just made everything worse.
"Oh, I hope he will get better soon. And don’t worry that much, I am sure he is in good hands.”
“Thank you, byebye.” It somehow started to feel good again to be comforted by Fernandez.
“Just a few words more Kazu-chan." he got himself together to save his standpoint "I'll call you back, really, I promise, but until that, think about that; if you can’t show your true self for others cause they will judge you before they get to know you, would you tell your name? Would you risk that they shut the door against your nose? May names don't matter if you work as a office assistant, but sometimes names decides your environment and the relationship to others. If it didn't matter what you think about me would I think about this outcome? I know a lot of people and one I can tell you, names judge you."
"Do you think I judge by names? Do you think that a person's name really is a reason to judge? Call me naive but as I talked with you, I don't think you didn’t give your true form. That’s why I was so hurt. People who judge by names or rumors about a person are people who never care to know the real person behind it. People who are not worth your attention. You are very mysterious now." He smiled. He got pretty surprised at all what Fernandez said. "I don't know who people think you are, but even without knowing your name, I feel as if I know you. Even if you told your name and it would be someone well known my opinion of you wouldn’t change." His voice was smooth, he felt relaxed all of a sudden. "There is someone I think of seeing his true form no matter what shit people tell about him. They can’t know. They shouldn’t judge." He said while looking at Akanishi's CD cover.
"Hmm, good to hear, but my experience says there is no one who won’t care. They see me and judge. If I tell you my name I’m almost sure you will change too, just as all the others did before. I’m telling this cause I lived it through... they are all the same. They won’t be as kind as before, you know it's called interest."
"You seem to have a lot of bad experience. But I still hope I can be your first good experience." He smiled more, trying to lighten the atmosphere with this doublemeaning statement and feeling happy now and like as if he had a goal.
"Ne Kazu-chan... " Jin stopped for a few sec. before he continued "...you really have a big heart. See you later Kazu-chan"
Kame blinked and felt his cheeks got redder a bit. "I think it is normal to think like this." He smiled warmly. "Take care, okay? And..." call me tomorrow... he wanted to say, but he didn’t.
"Un... you too Kazuchan" with that he cut the line and smiled at his phone. It felt like a half win but it took some weight from his shoulder off. May tomorrow get him a new chance, or a new call with the old Kazu-chan at last.
Kame was listening as the phone beeped, meaning the other end of the line was cut. He put the phone down, sighing, looking at it for a long time, thinking. Why does it have to be this hard?
****
To be continued
AN: Sorry for the long wait! >< We are busy with rl. But we continue writing! ;D
Next chapter: Chapter 5
Author: theblackheat & tanakakoki_fan
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: NC-17
Warning: BETAed version soon
Summary: Jin is a famous solo artist, working on his new album. Kame is a young man working in more part time jobs gaining money for his poor family. They don't know each other, but their life crosses by a lucky chance.
AN: This is kind of AU fanfiction. Not the AU you are used to, coz Jin is almost the same as in real.
This is our collaboration and this time it is not in the format of POV fic. Do you like it better?
Banner by theblackheat
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3
☆UPDATE★
The club was filled with people, heat and loud music. Dazzling trails of light swept the dance floor and shone on the face of the dancing people who were moving their bodies to the rhythm. The popular hit song seemed to be played never ending by the DJ who mixed it here and there. No one recognized the gloomy face in the VIP corner. The man sat there and shipped his beer staring at the dancing mass, but he was lost in his thoughts totally.
'What the fuck did I do?' this question circled in Akanishi's mind over and over. He got to know a stranger guy on the phone. Though they haven't met they got pretty close, but in the last moment Jin backed off. Telling his own name was not difficult for him. In other cases when it was about a girl - or more girls - who he met at a place like this in the usually way drunk and ready to a one-nightstand, he didn't care about telling his name and even his phone number. It was like an American Express card, a key into the sexy panties. But this case was different.
Jin liked Kazu-chan enough not to shit on him and lie something. Although he started this whole thing with a big lie. 'Nah Fernandez, be a man and face it!' He has to think out something now, something to get out of this well. Telling his real name will cause changes between them, he was pretty sure, and thought about that outcome bitterly. But lying was the other thing he would do unwillingly. Everything was going so well until Kazu-chan asked him. Why did he has to ask that? Was it not good as it was? Was it not enough? Why did it has to be so complicated?
"Agggrrr... !" he rubbed his head irritated and got rid of his umpteenth vodka shot.
"Something bothers you man. I've been watching that gloomy face of yours since you've stepped into this club." his friend, Ben lent closer and shouted into his ear through the loud music. That was not the right place to talk, but Ben couldn't just watch his friend's struggling any longer. It was after midnight and was hours ago when they had their first glass of alcohol. The line of the sexy babes decreased after they got that Jin won't pay attention to any of them tonight. It looked serious, that much Ben was able to figure out while keeping an eye on his buddy. Now he patted Jin's shoulder and pulled him along with him "C'mon man, smoking time~"
There were still people outside the building but only a few on a cold night like this. Ben and Jin were allowed to cross the borders of staff and customers. They headed to the backdoor and took place on the cold stairs. Ben lit a cigarette just as Jin did and took a long ship before he started the conversation.
"Spit out already!"
"What?"
"What you have in your fucking mind!"
"What?"
"I DON'T know WHAT! What keeps you busy not even dance or look at a girl for a moment, neither to speak with me, or any of the guys. I watched you and I know you've done nothing but sat there and have been lost in your thoughts for more than three hours. I got bored of observing you from the other corner. Whatever bothers you tell me. You can lean on me. We are friends, am I right?"
"We are..." Jin's low voice was heard under his hoody that hid his eyes. He took long ships from his cigarette, that glowed up by every drag and burned another centimetre from his fag.
"... and?"
"... and what?"
Ben lost his temper and wrapped his arm around Akanishi's hoody keeping him in a tight hug forcefully.
"Spit it ooooout jeggaaaaaa~"
"Wa... let me... agggrrr... B... Beeeeeen... you..."
"C'mon buddy~ 'cause It will just harm you inside~ c'mooon~"
"Fuck... let... meeee..aaggrrrr..."
Jin struggled against the unwanted hug and tried to push his friend further without any effects. After he gave up the fight he sighed and tried in an other way.
"Look if you keep my head down longer I will really throw up, gotcha?"
"First, promise you will talk!" Ben was determined to pull out of Jin whatever it is and even he has to do it against Jin's will.
"Okay man! Just let me..." as soon as Ben's muscles relaxed and the hold got loose Jin was able to pull his head out of the hug. ”... chee ... fuck you!” He was pissed at his friend but agreed on that talking was needed, before his head explodes from thinking so long.
Ben lit his next cigarette and blew the smoke out while leaning to the barrier behind him.
"I'm all ears."
Jin's mind still rushed on what had happened by the last phone call. That put a heavy feeling on him and it got heavier and heavier as time went on. Finally his inner self overcame and he let his bothering thoughts flood out.
"Yeah, I got to know someone. I know it sounds ridiculous but he is working by a call center... so... it's a hotline actually." he stopped for a short time and looked into his friend's eyes, who was concentrating on his cigarette while recalling what he heard.
"Hotline? Where did you find that guy?... and when?" Ben was amazed and a little shocked.
"I've just called it."
"... and you met? You wanted sex from him or... ?"
"No. You're misunderstanding me man. I haven't met him... yet. Well, that's the problem. I called him a few times and we talked a lot and I somehow get to like him."
"What the... You called a SEXLINE?" Ben burst out and grabbed Jin's shoulder to shake him. "You are tired of the sexy babes? I don't understand you man, you could have sex 24/7 ... I mean real sex, not phone-sex. You can have boys if you ... are you sure you want to do that? I mean I'm not against gays but... whatever. I just don't get it why do you call a hotline to talk to someone? Why did you call that line anyway?"
"I just... I don't know I had the feeling to do that."
"... and he wants to meet now. Of course he wants, you are Akansihi after all."
"That's it, he doesn't know. I gave a fake name."
"Thank you God! There is still a working brain cell in his head, I doubt that would be possible." Ben acted dramatically and lifted his arms to the dark sky.
"Shut up you motherfucker! You think I'm that stupid?" Jin pulled his head further from his friend who tried to kiss the top of it in happiness.
"Who knows? Having a crush on a gay-hotline guy is not that wise idea, am I right?"
"What the fuck is this preaching?"
"At last I don't lie to the babes. They know what they can get from me. I won't marry them or something, we just ... have fun." the man explained his situation comparing to Jin's.
"Whatever... I like to talk to him. He is like... he doesn't see the Akanishi Jin in me, you know what I say?"
"Ha-ha but he will, as soon as you meet him."
"Fucking yeah! That’s my fucking problem. I hate this. I want to meet him or know more, but if he gets to know that I'm Akanishi Jin he will change, and me too. I don't want this change. I fucking don't want that!"
"Take it easy man!" Ben hugged Jin's shoulder again to calm the yelling man. "Then just stay in your fake character, use your time and have fun on the phone."
”Maybe, I should do that.”
”I tell you man, you shouldn’t pounder on that little thing. Have fun and let the time to solve it.” Ben patted his friend’s shoulder and pulled him into the direction of the club where they disappeared again in the mass of the clubbing people. This small talking pushed Jin over his struggling and after they were back he started to switch over and had fun with the girls in the VIP section.
*****
It was just unbelievable. One day passed and no matter how Kame was waiting, Fernandez didn't call him back. From the time the other hung the phone up the day before, Kazuya was living in a kind of shock state. He didn't understand anything anymore. How could all what they had, break down because of a simple question like that? Kame was positive he had the right to ask and he didn't regret it. He was thinking about it quite long and the common sense said, if someone wants themselves to be trusted or named a friend they should be at least as honest to tell the real name.
Why was it so hard for Fernandez to tell? The previous night Kame was hoping he will call him back even on that night, that he didn't was disappointing, but the young man still said to himself that next day he will call for sure.
But nothing... His shift was to end in 5 minutes and no sign of Fernandez.
Kazuya started to be angry and was getting more disappointed. He had to sigh. How stupid he was, he trusted him. The things Fernandez said, the way they talked for so long, the fact he apologized to him. How can a person pretend to be another person this much? Tho Fernandez didn't promise him anything. He didn't say he loved him, they were just talking and most of the time it was sex anyway. It was maybe Kame's fault to expect more from this...friendship. Friendship? Nah... it wasn't even that. He can't call someone a friend no matter how kind he was, if he wasn't even keen on telling his real name.
But one thing bugged him. He told so many things about himself to the other boy and he seemed to be interested. He got positive comments, it was obvious Fernandez wanted his trust. He managed it, he broke the walls down, Kame told him everything and the man even pretended to believe him. This...will be hard to forgive. Was he just played with? This mysterious man enjoys to build trust and destroy people like that?
First Kame was thinking maybe he had a good reason for not calling, but then he just shook it off. He was being naive again, trying to convince himself fairy tales existed. No. They didn't. No matter in what a person escapes to, no matter if he actually makes himself believe life was a fairy tale with great happy endings, it was a lie. A self-assuration. Illusion of happiness of course everyone can create...with sex, drugs, alcohol... what Fernandez did too. Was he that lonely? Or did he have that much trouble in life?
Kame was partly angry of being betrayed, partly sad. He couldn't hate the man but couldn't forgive him either. Maybe he found a chick who can satisfy him enough or just going clubbing every night with his buddies. Was he even alive? Kame really hoped he didn't die because of drug overdose.
***
Ben was pissed even more after 2 weeks. He promised himself that he will take care of Jin, before that baka makes something stupid. After their serious talk he was somewhat relieved. Jin seemed to be returned to his former behavior, to parties and girls. Ben accompanied him always, but after not being able to sleep much at nights in a row he got fed up with nursing the other man’s ass. When he thought about ’take it easy’ he didn’t mean that. Jin went too far by being drunk and he even let the paparazzes to take photos about him while having fun with some chiks.
Jin seemed to not care anymore about anything. But under his happy mask Ben was able to see the pouting child who was too stubborn to show his own pain. He knew him enough to see what Jin did was pure stubborness and fake acting. He tried to talk to the other man but without result. Ben even tried to protest against going out if Jin refuses talking, but failed. The desperate man was not to stop anymore.
Ben talked to some close friends what to do now. He wanted to stop his friend. After Jin got rid of him on the phone he got determined to kick some sense into that baka-head. Pissed off because of the news he just got from one of his bartender buddy about Akanishi on mails, he took his jacket and called his helper.
”Hi! Is he there?... Thanks. I’m on the way, keep him there!” Ben cut the line and caught the first taxi to rush to the place where Jin was seen right now. He was angy enough to kick that idiot home.
*****
Kame couldn't deny he had hopes at the first days. Thoughts against Fernandez were mixing with excuses for the boy. Yes, the first week it was like this, but not anymore. Now he felt totally betrayed and was even thinking to quit this job. He didn't need this. Now he absolutely couldn't trust anyone. Two weeks of no call from Fernandez showed him the cruel reality. The man was apparently a liar and someone who just acted to pay attention because he was bored and needed something new beside chicks. He did it pretty good so maybe Fernandez was a famous actor even.
It was a nice dream while it lasted, but it hurt so very much. Why did it hurt so much?? Kame was afraid to admit to himself, he developed feelings for the boy. For the boy Fernandez was pretended to be. But the young man had to realize... he was chasing a non-existing person.
The only thing which really kept him alive was Akanishi Jin's CD which he was listening to now everytime he had free time even in street while going to work. He couldn't explain why tho, but he felt somewhat sad lately, hearing the voice of the man. It made him remember Fernandez so much.
"I am so crazy..." Kazuya shook his head after a long day he went home. He put his bag onto the chair and saw Yuuichirou and Kouji in the kitchen, just sitting at the table with worried faces. Why weren't they asleep? It was past 2 o'clock. Fear spiraled in Kame's stomach as he saw expressions of his brothers he has never seen before.
"What's wrong?" He asked with wavering voice and as soon as the kids saw him they ran to him and Kouji grabbed the arm of his shirt.
"Kazu, do something! Yuuya doesn't answer, he doesn't want to eat, he is in his room and is very weird...and crying. Please do something!" The teenager said and Kame didn't even bother to take his jacket off, he ran upstairs as fast as he could. He was so worried and the view that greeted him made his eyes wide in more worry.
On the bed, his little brother lay. His cheeks were red, he was breathing in a weird way, half crying and sweat covered his face.
"God, Yuuya..." Kame touched the forehead of the boy with trembling hand and gasped. It was very hot. Obviously he had high fever. Kame forgot everything else that minute, running to the cupboard where he kept medicines.
"Kouji, please bring water!"
"Yuuichirou, you bring a napkin." He was not even sane for a minute, he was so worried of his brother. He had only seen their mother in this state before she died. No, Yuuya can't die. You are so stupid Kazuya, why are you thinking of the worst?? He scolded himself while he helped his brothers gather the things they need to make the child feel better.
Hours passed, Yuuya seemed to get a little better, but his fever didn't go down, so Kame decided to call the doctor. Going home to this was really something unexpected and really didn't help him to get better... the opposite. He had more and more things to worry about while Fernandez was surely partying with his chicks. He was really angry, worried and desperate. When the doctor arrived and examined the boy, he said he will take Yuuya into hospital for a few days to keep an eye on him. Whatever happens, if the child is in the hospital they can help him faster. However, he tried to calm Kame down that it was nothing serious, there is a virus these days among children and he might caught it at the school, but a week rest and he will be completely fine again.
Kame was torn on what to do. Keeping company to Yuuya to the way to hospital, staying at home with the other kids or take them along. It was already very late, the kids had school the next day and he had to work too. But one glance of Yuuya's scared face was enough to smile at him and accompany him to the hospital. Koji and Yuuichirou stayed at home and tried hard to sleep as they promised to Kazuya.
Kame was sitting at the side of the hospital bed, watching how Yuuya fell asleep. His fever was decreasing and he seemed to got pretty tired from all the suffering. The young man felt himself the same exhausted. When he was sure the boy is tight asleep he silently exited the room and decided to go home. The traffic was terrible, there was some accident on the road and Kame found himself in the middle of a long car-line.
"Great...." He muttered and sighed. It was past 6 o'clock when he finally reached home, wishing something good to happen, but instead it came something he didn't expect. Next to his house was a kiosk, which opened at 6 and you could buy various kind of newspapers and magazines there. In Japan, when there is a hot topic or tabloid they always put the headline with big letters onto the wall of the kiosk and the headline today caught Kame's attention, and the picture added to it.
"Akanishi Jin with his girlfriends, party scandal"
On the picture there was Jin with several blond women hanging from his arms, one of them hugged him from behind. He was grinning madly and had tequila shot in his hand, seeming deadly drunk.
Kame made a disgusted face. No, his heart didn't break into pieces, he just got annoyed. Akanishi was this kind of guy too then? Same as Fernandez. Chicks, alcohol. Disgusting lifestyle. Nice day... he faced the cruel reality of the idol who he thought was normal. But... he still couldn't believe Akanishi was this kind of person. Someone who could write such deep songs and perform in such a way his heart is clenched in fists can't be this bastard.
But well, Kame didn't know what to believe about people anymore. The same way he misunderstood Fernandez, he might misunderstood Akanishi too. They never met anyway, how could he know the real Jin?
Please God, at least let me have faith in HIM. Kame whispered and sighed. It will be definitely one of his shittest day in life. Why did everything turn out this way? If there is one misery why does it have to be followed by a lot? He felt miserable, but he knew he had to stay strong. Another day of taking the kids to school, going to his workplaces and... answer calls from stranger fuckers.
***
Jin was suddenly pulled up from the VIP box and pushed through the crowd. He was deep drunk as always and couldn’t protest against the rough treatment. Outside the club the fresh air cleared his mind somewhat and he searched for the bastartd who tugged him out of the building forcefully. He felt dizzy but litfed his head and looked at his friends eyes.
”B-ben?”
”Yes, it’s me, finally. Why the hell don’t you pick up your phone idiot?”
”I was... b-busy...”
”With the pusies? I’ve SEEN it! What the fuck are you doing???”
”... taking... e-easy...”
”Easy? Just shut up and sit into the car!” Ben yelled at the swaing man and pushed him into the waiting taxi.
When finaly they reached Jins apartmen the rough treatment continued. Akanishi stumbled in his own shoes and fell onto the floor in the hallway.
”Wha... fuck...” he swore and hugged his knee in pain.
”Jesus Christ!” Ben made a face and pulled his drunk friend up. ”Pull yourself together man!”
”It’s... uhh... not your b-bussines...” Jin pushed the worrying man further, but the other was stronger not not let him go.
”You are wrong my friend, it is my problem too.”
”J-just let me hang already.”
”I won’t let you do this longer, gotcha?” Ben’s grip on the two side tightened and shook the protesting man. He had to fight to keep the other between his hands, while that struggled harder and harder, when suddenly one of Jin’s hand got freed and hit Ben’s cheek. The punch made him back off and for a moment he let his grip ease.
Jin used the moment and brushed the hands off of him.
”I’m home, so you can leave me. I don’t need your pity.”
”Pity? PITY?” Ben grabbed the other mans T-shirt and punched the handsome face. ”The only one who has pity on is you on yourself. Yes, you are to be pitied. What is this shit you’re doing? Get yourself together.”
”It’s not your bussi...”
„Aggrrr... I’m fed up with this ’it’s not your bussines’ shit. If you say it again...” Bens voice became warning.
”IT’S NOT your FUCKING bussineeee... aauuuhh” Jin couldn’t finish his sentence when Ben tugged his clothes and pulled him along until they reached the bathrom and the protesting man landed in the bathtube under the cold shower. It made him sober quickly and stood up wet from head to toe.
”After your head is clear change your clothes and take your phone. I can’t watch you making this pouting face longer. Call that guy and let’s get over it.”
”What is that changing?”
”May it’s a fucking stupid idea, but if it helps, talk to him. You don’t have to meet, or do anything. Just call him and talk a little.” Ben threw a towel to Jin, placed his friend’s mobil onto the counter and turned to the door. ”I’ll make you coffe until that.” with this he left the room leaving an uncertian Akanishi behind.
Then minutes passed and Jin still stared at his phone while sat on the rim of the tube. The waterdrops glistened in his hair while his heart beated faster. For a long time he was the first time chicken. What should he do? What should he say? ... What will Kazu-chan say if he appears all of sudden? May he will have a lot of questions. Is it better to pass them or answare... some of them at all. Maybe he is just a big idiot sitting there wet while the other guy even forgot his name... nickname. Is it even worth to call anyway?
”Hurry, hurry! your coffe is getting cold Bakanishi!” Ben was heard behind him who placed the cup next to Jin and lifted his hand what held the mobilephone. ”Do you remember the number?”
”...un” even if it hadn’t been saved he would knew it. ”Would you... ”
”I’m waiting out, take your time.”
”Thanks man.”
It was almost audible but Ben could hear from the door and smiled without turning back. If it helps he would kick Jin’s ass again and again until he learns. You can count on me Baka.
"Hello here is Kazu-chan speaking, tell me your phantasies, I will fulfill them all." Kazuya said in his usual sexy tone, being able to act as if he was interested.
Jin searched for his voice to sound natural like he always does, easy going and somewhat arrogant, but it was hard to find that voice again. "Hi there..."
Kame's heart stopped for a fleeting second and it was hard not to gasp. Feelings filled him by hearing this voice, and they most likely were companions of anger. "Hello, so what phantasies you have to be fulfilled?" He answered a little coldly, as if the man was a total stranger.
"Hi,... Kazu-chan is there?"He waited for like eternity before he got the answer.
"Yes, I am Kazu-chan. What can I do for you? Do you want me to lay down onto my back, looking into your eyes sexily?" He totally ignored the question in him: why did you call me? He went on as if the man was a stranger.
"I... it's... me, Fernandez" Jin hoped his idiot nick name was unique enough to remember.
"Oh what a weird name. You are not Japanese?" He chuckled, still going on with his game, feeling angry and betrayed. "So...I am already on my back...and wearing nothing..ahnn"
Akanishi's face was hit by the fact that his oh so cool name disappeared in the shadow of the past. He really doesn't remember, or just doesn't want to remember. "We talked already. Don't you remember?"
"Oh really? Well, there is so many boy with the real name Fernandez, who are you?" He couldn’t stop himself from being a little emotional in voice.
Jin got a little pissed that he was JUST a name in the row. "I'm THAT Fernandez who called you a lot, and not cause of your tempting voice... cause of... cause I liked to talk to you. Ring the bells?"
This really made something in Kazuya to explode. Fernandez is the one being angry?? "Oh...the one who didn’t know what a hotline is for?"
"I know it!" throw Jin back pouting. "It was written I will call you. I still don't want sex from you. You are not that kind today anyway" he sniffed his nose like a defiant little kid.
What is this? Just how old is this man? This pissed Kame more up. He pretends to act cute as if nothing happened? "Want to talk to me? It is your only luck it is workplace so I can’t hang up. You really wanted to talk to me ne... all these weeks you didn’t call. What? You are bored of drinking again?"
Jin's eyebrow frowned; This little thing plays with him. Kazu-chan knew him, he really knew who he is. "Aha! You almost feed me you don't know. I was busy... with ... busy , cause I'm a busy man... and didn't have time to chitchat."
"Look...I don’t know why you call this line but can't you call it when someone else is in shift?" He sighed. What does this man really want?
"I wanted to talk to you. as I told you I d.o.n.'t w.a.n.t h.o.t.l.i.n.e.s.e.x" he spelled the last line articulately.
"I understand even if you talk normally, thank you." Damn you. Kame thought. This man really has ego...he really...he messes him up so much. "It is my fault I believed you are interested in me as a person, it is maybe not even reasonable why I feel hurt, I expected too much of it." He said into the phone but as a matter of factly, not in a sappy voice.
"I was...and still am. But it's difficult.. for me." Jin sighed he didn't know how to tell the man what's his problem.
"Why is it so difficult? Look...maybe I am narrow-minded too much, but I can't consider a man a friend who after I ask the real name of, hangs up on me and not calling for weeks." He sighed defeated. Shit, he promised himself he won’t be weak.
"It’s not the name that matters. But..the trust. We talked a lot and I don't see the reason why you can't tell me a name I don't know for sure."
"Yes, I did it wrong. I was... I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lie to you, but.. " his long fingers brushed into his dark locks what were still a little wet. He sighed again trying to brush that heavy feeling from himself. But all of his struggling he couldn't continue so easily like before that last call. "Look, couldn't it stay like before you asked it? You said just before, it's only a name."
"You don't get it, do you?" now Kame was mad at himself. He even...expected to meet... But like this? "Can I be...honest to you?"
"Of course!"
“I...thought we somehow...became friends. You are the first one who behaved like this with me on phone and in my everyday life, it is rare too. I don't really have friends, but you know this." He stopped, and knew he will regret being so open again. "I thought...we might...can even...meet one day. But like this... it is just an illusion. I began to get attached to a person who I can never even know the real name..."
Jin felt the hurt in the other man's voice, and his guilt stabbed his chest like a sharp knife. " Sorry, I didn't mean that. I didn't want to hurt you that much. I was... I have my reasons."
"Okay, I get it. But well... you really have much money if you have this much time to speak here..." Kame was more disappointed. It would have even been better if he was not called at all. "I don’t promise anything but I try to be as I was. I have hard days nowdays with a lot of trouble. Now hang up please. If you still want to talk, you can call back tomorrow, I try to be as I always was."
“Why why? What happened?” Jin tried to keep the conversation on.
“My brother is very sick and is in hospital, I am worried of him.” Kazuya sighed. “He had high fever and now the doctors keep an eye on him. But really…please. Hang up now.” Speaking about things that worried him, it just made everything worse.
"Oh, I hope he will get better soon. And don’t worry that much, I am sure he is in good hands.”
“Thank you, byebye.” It somehow started to feel good again to be comforted by Fernandez.
“Just a few words more Kazu-chan." he got himself together to save his standpoint "I'll call you back, really, I promise, but until that, think about that; if you can’t show your true self for others cause they will judge you before they get to know you, would you tell your name? Would you risk that they shut the door against your nose? May names don't matter if you work as a office assistant, but sometimes names decides your environment and the relationship to others. If it didn't matter what you think about me would I think about this outcome? I know a lot of people and one I can tell you, names judge you."
"Do you think I judge by names? Do you think that a person's name really is a reason to judge? Call me naive but as I talked with you, I don't think you didn’t give your true form. That’s why I was so hurt. People who judge by names or rumors about a person are people who never care to know the real person behind it. People who are not worth your attention. You are very mysterious now." He smiled. He got pretty surprised at all what Fernandez said. "I don't know who people think you are, but even without knowing your name, I feel as if I know you. Even if you told your name and it would be someone well known my opinion of you wouldn’t change." His voice was smooth, he felt relaxed all of a sudden. "There is someone I think of seeing his true form no matter what shit people tell about him. They can’t know. They shouldn’t judge." He said while looking at Akanishi's CD cover.
"Hmm, good to hear, but my experience says there is no one who won’t care. They see me and judge. If I tell you my name I’m almost sure you will change too, just as all the others did before. I’m telling this cause I lived it through... they are all the same. They won’t be as kind as before, you know it's called interest."
"You seem to have a lot of bad experience. But I still hope I can be your first good experience." He smiled more, trying to lighten the atmosphere with this doublemeaning statement and feeling happy now and like as if he had a goal.
"Ne Kazu-chan... " Jin stopped for a few sec. before he continued "...you really have a big heart. See you later Kazu-chan"
Kame blinked and felt his cheeks got redder a bit. "I think it is normal to think like this." He smiled warmly. "Take care, okay? And..." call me tomorrow... he wanted to say, but he didn’t.
"Un... you too Kazuchan" with that he cut the line and smiled at his phone. It felt like a half win but it took some weight from his shoulder off. May tomorrow get him a new chance, or a new call with the old Kazu-chan at last.
Kame was listening as the phone beeped, meaning the other end of the line was cut. He put the phone down, sighing, looking at it for a long time, thinking. Why does it have to be this hard?
****
To be continued
AN: Sorry for the long wait! >< We are busy with rl. But we continue writing! ;D
Next chapter: Chapter 5