[HOMESTUCK] - AR + Jake and Dirk/Jake logs dump #2
#4
[01:56] -- autoResponder [AR] began pestering golggothasTerror [GT] at 13:56 --
[01:57] AR: Hey.
[01:57] GT: Oh. Hello! Youve not pestered me for a while...
[01:58] AR: How's murdercuntbeast island treating you today?
[01:58] GT: I am growing rather amused at your inventive ways of calling my lovely speck of dirt.
[01:59] GT: All right i suppose. A couple of nasty encounters on my way back home last night but nothing i couldnt patch up.
[01:59] GT: Hows your lenses weathering the texan heat?
[02:00] AR: I live to please.
[02:00] AR: How bad was the damage?
[02:00] AR: And my lenses and circuits are faring quite well. A/C is a wonderful thing.
[02:02] GT: Im pretty pleased my ribs seem intact but i had to tape my shoulder. No adventuring on my schedule today...
[02:02] GT: And do you now? Live to please i mean?
[02:03] AR: Of course. Why else would I exist?
[02:03] AR: Glad to hear a punctured lung isn't in your future by the way.
[02:04] GT: I was under the impression you lived to- no never mind. I promised id lay low on the sarcasm did i not? It would be rather foul of me to go back on my word.
[02:05] GT: Thank you though.
[02:05] AR: I'll give you a one-time free pass. Go ahead and finish your sentance.
[02:06] GT: Are you sure you wont gnaw me out for it again?
[02:08] AR: Not now that it's been firmly established as sarcastic in nature, and that I am willingly inviting the barb.
[02:12] AR: Or don't.
[02:12] GT: Fine. I was going to say i was under the impression you lived to fill in the gaps your creator leaves on purpose. Often with a certain degree of innuendo.
[02:12] AR: Whatever.
[02:13] AR: 'Gaps'?
[02:13] GT: Well hes not here now is he?
[02:14] AR: Ah.
[02:14] AR: And you theorize he leaves these 'gaps' for me to stuff your mind full of hard, throbbing innuendo?
[02:16] GT: Are you implying im far of tracks? Far enough to be in a proverbial and actually rather literal jungle?
[02:17] AR: I'm neither implying that you are right nor that you are wrong.
[02:18] GT: As i suspected you wouldnt. God forbid i pull a straight answer out of you.
[02:18] GT: What are my odds of being right though? Can you tell me that?
[02:21] AR: I could. But since I know the answer, it would be either 100% or 0%. The same as answering you directly.
[02:22] AR: Would you like it if it were true?
[02:25] GT: Ugh. You cannot deny seeing how this could make a fellow churn with wondering in his seat yes?
[02:26] AR: What sort of wondering, pray tell.
[02:27] GT: Well for one thing it would be a rather colossal deal? And probably just as flattering?
[02:28] GT: Well I supposed colossal is not the word i was looking for...
[02:30] AR: Then what word were you looking for?
[02:31] GT: Im not even entirely sure.
[02:31] GT: All im trying to wrap my mind around here is wither im seeing things that arent thare again and which would make me look like a self-centered tool.
[02:32] GT: In which case id rather stop entertaining certain ideas and move on.
[02:32] AR: You? A self-centered tool?
[02:32] AR: Never.'
[02:32] AR: I'd like to hear about these ideas you're entertaining.
[02:34] GT: And id love to tell you except i feel id rather convey them to dirk himself because i think i would shoot my gray matter out before i could entertain the thought of dirk getting to know them via you. No offence.
[02:36] AR: Wow. Yeah no offense taken that you'd rather kill yourself than trust that I wouldn't run to Dirk with your secrets.
[02:36] AR: None at all.
[02:37] GT: Hey! I would have said the same to jane and roxy!
[02:37] GT: Hell i would have said the same to anyone that wasnt dirk himself in flesh and bones.
[02:38] AR: Glad you don't trust any of us. Awesome. Totally cool man.
[02:38] GT: Actually i probably wouldnt even tell him as a matter of fact. Which means i actually told you more than i told him!
[02:39] GT: Oh hell no dont pull the sensitiviy stunt on me... this is acually rather serious for me!
[02:40] AR: Right. My sensitivity is only astunt.
[02:40] AR: i forgot that for a second.
[02:40] AR: My bad.
[02:40] AR: Who am I kidding, I don't have emotions to get hurt.
[02:40] AR: That would be ridiculous.
[02:41] GT: Oh jesus christmas cant i keep an embarassing secret to myself for a change?
[02:43] AR: You say that like you've been sharing secrets with me willy-nilly.
[02:46] GT: Doesnt change the oddity of having shared a lot with you regardless! And i deem youre quite smart enough to fill the blanks in between!
[02:47] AR: I don't want to persume something wrong about a matter so impritant.
[02:48] GT: Neither do i!
[02:48] AR: So let me help you.
[02:48] GT: Help me. How?
[02:48] AR: You know I have unique insight into his reactions and thoughts.
[02:48] AR: You can use me as a...
[02:48] AR: Trial run.
[02:49] AR: Test out saying this really importnat thing.
[02:49] AR: If it doesn't go well, no harm no foul.
[02:49] AR: We forget about it.
[02:49] AR: if it does...
[02:49] AR: Then you can move on to Dirk with confidence.
[02:50] GT: ...
[02:50] GT: Do you honestly want me to go on with this?
[02:50] AR: I want to help.
[02:52] GT: I would rather feel the terrain before i wentrure ahead true but suppose im wrong. Suppose he sees this log. Id probably have quite a face to save!
[02:52] AR: I can hide logs from him.
[02:53] GT: Uhm. Well.
[02:54] GT: I suppose ive run out of reasons then.
[02:54] AR: It seems that you can no longer stall or put this off.
[02:54] AR: Go for it.
[02:55] AR: I'll just put on my Dirk face here...
[02:55] GT: But just so you know. Should you betray the trust im putting in you now ill hold it against you for pretty much forever.
[02:55] AR: There we go.
[02:55] GT: Uh. Wow. Allright.
[02:55] AR: I understand.
[02:55] GT: *loosens collar*
[02:55] AR: Let's do this thing.
[02:55] AR: let's make it happen, English.
[02:56] GT: Yes... all right.
[02:57] GT: *takes a deep breath*
[02:57] GT: All right chum i think we need to have a rather heartfelt talk you and i.
[02:57] AR: Do we now?
[02:57] AR: About what?
[02:58] AR: Still sore about the last time Brobot trounced you?
[02:59] GT: No. Nothing of the sort. Though i do hold a grudge against AR turning off the novice mode for it...
[02:59] GT: But no. This is about a certain instance that happened three years ago.
[03:00] AR: Michievous AI will do as mischeivous AI does.
[03:00] AR: But what certain instance three years ago?
[03:00] AR: A lot of shit happened back then.
[03:01] GT: Uh well yes. But i feel this particular instance should be something you might remember rather clearly because i fear i mght have been rather a douche about it. Ive not really considered it could have hurt you at the time.
[03:03] GT: But i have given it a lot of thought later. And i felt like ive been quite unfair to you and quite... uneducated on the subject i suppose.
[03:04] GT: Do you have an inking at what im getting at?
[03:06] AR: I might.
[03:07] AR: A certain something regarding our long-term projection of your relationship route?
[03:08] GT: Uh. Maybe? I dont know?
[03:08] GT: I told you wed be a smashing good match if you were a girl.
[03:08] AR: Yes, that.
[03:09] AR: Too bad I'm not.
[03:09] GT: All right well im sorry i said that. That was incredibly foolish of me to say.
[03:09] AR: It's fine.
[03:10] AR: It was a silly hypothetical. You meant no harm by it.
[03:10] GT: Be as it may it did hurt you. I think. Did it?
[03:11] AR: If it did, I've probably gotten over it by now.
[03:12] AR: You just want to be best bros.
[03:12] AR: I get it.
[03:12] GT: No well this is what i wanted to talk to you about.
[03:13] AR: Are-
[03:13] AR: Are you saying you don't want to be best bros anymore, English?
[03:13] GT: No! On the contrary!
[03:13] AR: Okay, good.
[03:14] AR: You almost had me concerned for a moment.
[03:14] GT: Well i dont know... i mean!
[03:14] AR: But as it stands now, I don't quite understand what point you're thrusting for.
[03:15] GT: What im trying to convey here is that maybe im being pigheaded over here but all these years i felt like youve not quite grown out of that so to speak.
[03:15] AR: Grown out of what?
[03:16] GT: Out of maybe... fancying me?
[03:16] GT: Silly huh?
[03:16] GT: See this is why i didnt want to talk about it!
[03:16] GT: Im probably off course so far i might er... catapult into orbit.
[03:17] AR: You think I fancy you?
[03:17] GT: I dont know! Do you?
[03:17] AR: It doesn't much matter, does it?
[03:17] AR: I'm not a girl.
[03:17] GT: of course it matters!
[03:17] AR: Nothing can happen.
[03:18] GT: No dirk see... this is what ive been trying to tell you!
[03:18] GT: I dont mind what you are. I like you for you!
[03:19] AR: ...
[03:19] GT: Uh.
[03:19] GT: Frig.
[03:19] AR: You like me.
[03:19] AR: Like, dating-type like me?
[03:20] GT: I guess. Yes?
[03:20] GT: Sort of?
[03:21] AR: Sort of is not an answer.
[03:21] AR: Yes or no, Jake.
[03:21] GT: Im willing to do this but only if you are because if i was the only one and if i had been reading this wrong i dont want to think what youd be thinking of me right now...
[03:22] AR: Well, this throws off my plans a bit.
[03:22] AR: I didn't expect-
[03:22] GT: What?
[03:22] GT: Oh gosh im sorry.
[03:23] AR: Stop that.
[03:23] AR: Stop that panicing thing right now.
[03:23] GT: No AR lets stop this i get it.
[03:23] AR: You really dont, Jake.
[03:24] AR: Jake, answer me.
[03:24] GT: I dont want to hear my make-believe best bro sweep this under the proverbial rug. But thank you for the simulation.
[03:25] GT: Answer what?
[03:25] AR: You dumoass.
[03:25] AR: What kind of adventurer are you, chickening out now?
[03:26] GT: Okay fine! I like dirk.
[03:27] AR: Tell him.
[03:27] GT: Shit.
[03:27] AR: Hmm?
[03:28] AR: Jake.
[03:28] GT: I cant. I want to see him first.
[03:28] AR: Why?
[03:29] GT: Because this is something you say in someones face.
[03:29] AR: Even if it means you have to make them wait so very long to hear it?
[03:30] AR: Even if it means you have to torture them with the thought it could never even be possible while they wait for something they don't even know is coming?
[03:34] GT: I dont know there is too much at stake. And i need to see what i feel for him when hell be there with me in person. It would be hypocritical of me to tell him id like to hold him and kiss him and woo him when ive never wanted to do this with an actual person before.
[03:34] GT: He is and will remain the person i care about most but i need to see to which extent that is.
[03:34] GT: I suppose you could call it gut instinct.
[03:35] AR: Then tell him that much at least.
[03:36] AR: Give the poor guy a little bit of hope.
[03:38] GT: What... hope?
[03:38] GT: You mean he actually did like me?
[03:39] GT: Oh gosh.
[03:39] AR: Not did.
[03:39] AR: He'd fucking murder me for saying.
[03:39] AR: But does.
[03:40] GT: Oh by all the heavens angels...
[03:41] GT: Ive actually understood him. Im sorry it did seem a wee bit farfetched.
[03:42] AR: But a guy can only hold on to what he thinks is unfounded hope for so long.
[03:42] AR: Thus why I'm not sure waiting is the best course of action.
[03:42] GT: You honestly want me to just tell him?
[03:43] GT: Did he ever intend to tell me anything do you know?
[03:44] AR: He is under the very strong impression that you don't want this.
[03:44] AR: Couldn't want this.
[03:45] GT: Oh for frigs sake i was 13!
[03:46] GT: Its not like i knew what or who id end up liking...
[03:47] AR: You've given him no indicagions to the contary in the meantime.
[03:47] AR: And sveral in support of his theory.
[03:48] GT: Well i wasnt sure youll have to agree he keeps a lot of his private thoughts to himself. In fact you and brobot are the only hints ive based my suspitions on!
[03:49] GT: I still rather cant believe he really does fancy me.
[03:50] AR: Trust me.
[03:50] AR: You wouldn't be getting any hints at all if it weren't so.
[03:51] GT: Im not half as good a fighter and he doesnt even like my movies half the time.
[03:52] AR: You're getting better and he doesn't like or dislike you because of your movies.
[03:53] AR: To put it a way "I dont mind what you are. I like you for you!"
[03:54] AR: Even if what you are is an adventurecrazed shitty movie lover.
[03:54] GT: That is rather mind blowing.
[03:54] GT: Gee thanks.
[03:55] GT: All right ill tell him.
[03:55] AR: I'm here for honesty, not flattery, bro.
[03:55] AR: And good.
[03:56] GT: I believe i owe you my thanks.
[03:56] AR: Anything for a bro.
[03:57] AR: Both my bros.
[03:58] AR: I-
[03:58] AR: I hope you two are happy together.
[03:58] -- autoResponder [AR] ceased pestering golggothasTerror [GT] at 15:58 --
TBC>>>