A truly different person has written each post of this journal. I'm still not sure who I will be tomorrow, if I know how to love or only how to want, if I am strong enough or destined to collapse, when to speak out and when to shut up. I miss so many faces so many places. Lazy afternoons and endless nights in the basement, back seat, back porch, ( Read more... )

Life is much different now.

It never was a good thing.

I have no job.
I need things to change.
I care about someone and I don't know if it's a good thing.

Life right now = 60% good/40% complete shit. Being out of school is phenomenal but I'm a little intimidated. Money is good, a house would be nice, I hopefully have that taken care of. Today had the best weather I've felt in a long time. I really don't know if I believe in "God" or if I just hate "God." Most of my plans are coming together.

I'm preparing myself for the longest month of my life. I really don't care how shitty my grades are, I just want out.

school isn't that bad this year. i still hate it and most of the people in it, but it isn't that bad. i get to leave early and i don't have to talk to anybody if i don't want to. ryan and calin leave friday. chelsea already left. i've managed to find a few things to love and hold on to. i've also managed to find some things i dislike and have found ( Read more... )

hate ( Read more... )

i'm an unappreciative asshole. my parents do everything for me and i don't even bother to think about it or notice it. they put all their trust in me to do decent in high school, they did and still do whatever they can to motivate my lazy ass, and when they do something kind hearted to motivate me, i skip class for a week, and get caught ( Read more... )

i threw everything away for one weekend. my parents don't like me anymore. my seventeenth birthday could mean alot. i absolutely enjoyed the weekend i got to spend with my closest friends. i just wish it didn't have to end up the way it did. karma means nothing to me. i don't feel comfortable at my home anymore. then again, i truly haven't in 2 ( Read more... )

while recently watching the death box we call television, i noticed several things. paul from dinner and a movie is an asshole and he probably would like nothing more than to kill himself and cecede from tbs entirely. probably cuz he does a show with a stupid whore and a chef named claude. I also noticed that too many people base their lives around ( Read more... )